NineTen Overhyped Films To Consider When Pooping
   

overrated and updated: Waltz with Bashir
Powerful but not successful. I should amend that to say that as an experimental animated film it is successful (“Waling Life” in war boots) but as a war film, as a war documentary and as a personal exploration it is not. On one hand you could say “Waltz” is about ONE man who struggles to come to terms with his war ravaged memory. And he does so through this extraordinary medium. Except it’s not about one man (its open ended and draws upon many soldiers and many memories and many shitty 80s music video montages) and when it is about the one man, director and subject Ari Folman, the film is foggy and not very engaging because he’s not very engaging.
Okay, then there’s the other hand which feels like a slap in the face. “Waltz” presents critical one-sided look (attack even) at Israel defending itself against enemies on every direction in the early eighties (going on forever), which would be bearable or understandable even if there were some historical context provided. It’s like, look at all these horrible things being done and… yeah, okay, WE KNOW. No cause and effect here, just effect. As “documentary” “Waltz” shoots blanks because it teases us with an incendiary topic but then goes all Fellini with it. I’m like shut about wanting to loose your virginity to a giant naked mermaid, bro, and get back to that whole war thing you were talking about a second ago. If you want to find out about the Christian militia that massacred thousands of Palestinians or the IDF chain of command or the war in Lebanon… this is not your film. If you want to find out about ambiguous dreams, impressions and repressed memories, it is.
Grade: C-
  

 

 

 

 

Slumdog Millionaire
You see it on a whim, without the hype, and it’s merely adequate. Decent even. The film will make you sad, then angry, to be sure but then, like a dog getting a treat after jumping through hoops, it holds your hand the rest of the way and pats your head and makes you feel good about yourself and the world. It’s hard to accept the notion that a filmmaker betrays the realism and corrupts the truth of his picture with a sugar-filled coda and BSollywood post show entertainment show (hey, forget about everything life puts us through, it will all end happy so lets dance… ass).
This is simply not a film of great depth or substance but my theory is that it was not made with that intention in mind. So, yeah, there are faults like, for instance, the “stylized” filmmaking is watchable but not very purpose driven (unlike the far, far, far, far superior “Sunshine” where the style had a point and was used to enhance the plot and theme, etc.) but Danny Boyle didn’t set out to make a masterpiece. The problem is… people are calling it just that! This is one of those emotional movements that sweeps everyone off their feet, blinding them, only to leave them stranded a year or so later because there’s not much of a film here to support our knee jerk reactions. Case in point: does anyone still remember, or talk about, or study or even watch “A Beautiful Mind”? Moreover, do people need an ”I told you so” on the irrelevant hoopla surrounding the once hot “Crash?” because I could gladly supply one.   Adjusted Grade: C+
  
The Reader
…or the film where nothing connects (plot threads, characters, continuity), nobody says anything of interest and flashbacks/forwards exist for their own sake. Even the sex, torrid in nature due to the pedophilia angle, lacks passion and exudes zero sexuality. By design, perhaps, but who would know? And this is a best picture/actress/director nominee? More like a straight to video Miramax reject from the 90s. Ralph Finnes, as a contemporary lawyer reconnecting with his past (…cue flashback music…), has nothing to do while his younger counterpart, David Kross (not the comedian… though that would only have helped this movie), has A LOT to do –scarlet fever, teenage lust, law school, hourly baths with his lady lover bla, bla, bla– but is inert and seems baffled by what’s going on. Maybe it’s the passive actor, maybe it’s the underwritten character but, again, who would know? Kate Winslet as the enigmatic woman is actually interesting, but only in small doses because the longer she’s on screen the more you realize how shallow she is. I like how she’s not really conflicted about her past deeds… but the film is and, thus, doesn’t quite know what to do with her either. Sensing a pattern?  Grade: C-
 
The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button
Curiously overrated. Saw it again and, you know what, it doesn’t hold up despite moments of beauty and soft, gentle humor. Adjusted Grade: B-
 
The Wrestler
I’ll give you Mickey Rourke’s knock-em-dead performance as, er, um, the aging prize fighting… uhhhh Mickey Rourke. And I’ll even give you the low level wrestling circuit plot which pops with insider knowledge and a harsh sense of poetic realism (the scene where he sits at a table signing autographs still haunts me). And the last shot: perfection. The rest, though, is totally generic indie movie BS. The daughter that doesn’t talk to the father. The hooker with the heart of… you know. The old man, mellowed by age, trying to repair family ties. The reckless figure trying to fit into the “normal” world and failing, quitting his job in a bout of theatrical violence. The hooker telling the loner he’s ”going to far” and his actions “are going to KILL you.” GOD, put me in a headlock and end this already. Grade: C+
 
Flight of the Red Balloon
I love the aimless, tracking shot filmmaking trend as much as the next guy (4 Months and Wendy and Lucy are stand out favorites of mine this year) but this film, despite being one of the best reviewed foreign films of the year (Indywire puts it at number… 1?), lacks the energy and passion necessary to endure the minutia. The film is about a puppet theater mother (Binoche), her boring son and their boring Chinese nanny who films the boring son as he walks and sits. What’s the point in this. Nothing much happens… then, ooh, a red balloon floats by. Grade: C+
  
The Visitor
A gentle and amiable film with no bite. Above all it’s an acting showpiece for character-actor Richard Jenkins and he nails it. The story, about a cranky widower and bored professor who, after a series of events, finds purpose and learns to love through an unexpectedcause to help an Arab man and his African wife: Zzzzzzzzz. This is basically a TV movie with indie cred but the storytelling is arch and not very compelling beyond the topical, War on Terror/Guantanamo flavor. Still, the film should get a pass for favoring a low key atmosphere over big dramatic action. But it’s not going to because the preachiness is distracting. Of course Jenkins get his big Oscar speech where he screams in outrage at The Institution that deported his friend but event that moment kind of small and sad. When not tell us how bad it is to detain illegal citizens who break the law, though, Jenkins is undercut by the script’s aim for naturalism and this actually helps him to be a more interesting (and tragic) figure. And I really liked the last shot in which he travels into the subway, the underworld perhaps, to play bongos. He’s clearly lost his mind and not many people have detected that. Grade: C+
 
Revolutionary Road
Like “Mad Men” (better) but from the director of “American Beauty” (worse). It’s safe to say that I’m not a fan of “Revolutionary Road.” So why am I aggravated that this well crafted/well acted if a bit whiny (waah, we hate the suburbs, lets move/no, lets stay/NO, I HATE YOU, waaaaahhh) and redundant film was virtually shut out of the Oscar race? Probably because Kate Winslet bumped off Kate Winslet when her supporting performance, no, obtuse supporting performance turned (somehow) lead actress performance in “The Reader” became the hot new thing that’s soooooo not new. But anyway, that ”RR” got a nomination for Michael Shannon (on my radar since “Kangaroo Jack,” bitches!) and his two-scene show stealer turn as an insane instigator reminds me of William Hurt getting noticed for his equally insane performance in “A History of Violence.” And that’s great!Grade: B-
 
The Bank Job
What?! People sat through this? Critics ranked it on their top tens?! I actually perferred “Death Race”! Grade: C  
 
Rachael Getting Married
Yup, still an F. Grade: F
 
*well, that does it for the annual overrated films list. check back soon for my ten best. for real. promise, it’s almost done i just need to catch up on a few more.