Paper Street Cinema

Film rambling, rumbling and reviewing by Greg Douglass

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the best show of the year is…

1. Breaking Bad (AMC)

Full List

  1. Breaking Bad (AMC)
  2. It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (FX)
  3. Damages (FX)
  4. Archer (FX)
  5. Caprica (SyFy)
  6. Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Cartoon Network/Adult Swim)
  7. Doctor Who (BBC)
  8. Lost (ABC)
  9. Dexter (Showtime)
  10. Party Down (Starz)
  11. Justified (FX)
  12. Fringe (Fox)
  13. Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO)
  14. True Blood (HBO)
  15. Code Geass: R2 (uh, the Internet)
  16. Venture Brothers (Cartoon Network/Adult Swim)
  17. 24 (FOX)
  18. Chuck (NBC)
  19. Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood (Cartoon Network/Adult Swim)
  20. Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job! (Cartoon Network/Adult Swim)
  21. The IT Crowd (BBC)
  22. Mad Men (AMC)
  23. Smallville (CW)
  24. Vampire Diaries (CW)
  25. Human Target (FOX)

long winded thoughts…

  1. Breaking Bad season 3–
    Season one of “Breaking Bad” set the tone for the series but did little else. This was a show that was not only cut in half due to a crippling writer’s strike but lacked elegance and narrative refinement. Season two needs to be recognized for taking a decent cult show and elevating it into something of a critical breakthrough. An uncompromising drama that could be poignant yet totally irreverent and wacky. Season three however is when a lot more of us started thinking about “Breaking Bad” not in terms of how good it is but, rather, how much better it is than everything else. While season two brought a crucial element of gritty and goofy storytelling to the forefront this season managed to do that but with a more artful purpose. 
    Basically “Breaking Bad” is about the corrupt soul of Walter White (Bryan Cranston). It is about the disease that exists not only within him but the one he puts out into the world. Building on that simple theme season three loads up on awesome like it’s going out of style. The season began with aftermath of that fateful, “Lost”-ish season two ending where, as an indirect result of Walter’s corruption, a plane almost magically up and crashed over his goddamned house. Freaky. And it gets even more freaky. From Walter acting all crazy during school speeches and principal meetings (is his tumor back?) to getting fired and taking over an industrial sized meth lab to trying to win back a wife that clearly hates him to that pesky fly that turned Walter into a full blown caricature of Wiley E. Coyote, caused him to go into a full lockdown for an entire episode (the best of the series in my opinion) to the surprise car attack to the final twisted reversal of power… more seemed to be going on this season than in the previous two combined! As the bald meth cooker would say ” its not quantity, it’s quality.” It’s a good thing, then, that “Breaking Bad” has both locked up. 
    “Breaking Bad” is so full of  irony (dramatic, tragic and just plain funny) that it gives Shakespeare a run for his money. What started out a dying High School science teacher’s (almost) noble goal to provide for his poor family by cooking Meth on the side with a former student of his (Aaron Paul, yo) turned into a saga of greed that, three years later, obscures all moral lines to a point of tortured allegiance. We side with Walter but at a cost. Walter’s Godfather-like arc manages to feel epic even as the show wisely remains as myopic and focused and as ever. During season three ”Breaking Bad” fully began to trust in its strange brew of a formula, its characters and its sense of the strange and surreal and is poised to become the best thing on television next year too.
  2. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (season 5)–
    Not just the funniest show on television but the funniest show since “Arrested Development!” By sticking to a simple formula where every episodes starts with”the gang…” followed by some ridiculous plot that is guaranteed to end in anarchy (and maybe some rape), everything about “Sunny,” from the dialogue to the plotting, is forced and unnatural. But in a good way; sometimes comedy needs to be stylized, laid on thick then forced down our throats. This show challenges the viewer and even challenges norms (bothcultural and within television itself) but rarely comes off as being contrived and never takes itself too seriously or, for that matter, seriously at all. Unlike most comedies shows “Sunny” gets better with every passing year. All five personalities that exist in this bar-set shows (a long, long way from “Cheers”) have been perfected to an essence of ”Stooge”-like stupidity and the storylines move with such enjoyable momentum that I always find myself amazed that a half hour just passed. I could make the case that the fifth season of this sharp but never serious show is not only funny in its own right but brilliantly set its sights on various cultural issues such as racism, alcoholism, the economy, gas shortages, the mortgage crisis, lawyers, skinny jeans, obsessed sports fans, straight male break-ups, um, ass hole cyclists who hog the road, abortion, glamor muscles, homeless people, homeless wrestlers played by Roddy Roddy Piper and of course cat mittens. As it gets meaner and meaner, “Sunny” attains a level of blissful savagery that nothing on television matches. As a final indication of how awesome “IASIP” is, if you hear someone say “Phili” the chances are very good they’re talking about this show and not the city.
  3.  Damages (season 3)
    On the surface, this season of “Damages” was not sexy or thrilling or easy to sell to people who didn’t already know how great it was (which is about three people). For a season three show on the bubble, opting for quiet and often reflective drama punctuated by moments of deep seeded anger and raw violence proved to be a big gamble that failed on one really big hand (FX canceled it) but succeeded in almost every other aspect. This slow but dense season took all the time in the world to get going but in its final episodes paid off with more emphatic drama, top notch acting (Close, Byrneand Martin Short all earned their Emmy nods) and smart but never glib writing than anything else out there and that includes movies. What’s most amazing is how all the story threads and characters (from all three seasons!!!) are either wrapped up, resolved, destroyed or come together in a way that left me breathless. There’s so much more to this shows than lawyers that to even call it a “lawyer show” seems wildly unfair yet totally appropriate. I don’t care how un-cool it is to like “Damages,” it’s a classic and anyone not watching it is missing the best drama on TV.
  4. Archer (season 1)
    Picking up where the perverse animated action comedy “Frisky Dingo” left off (which, sadly, never let back on), Matt Reed has created another wildly inappropriate masterpiece. It’s hard to describe a Reed show to a non-Reed fan. It’s irreverent. It’s funny. It’s sick. It’s mean. It’s goofy. It’s arrogant. It’s even full of action… that usually ends very badly for everybody but the sociopathic lead character. As voiced by H. Jon Benjamin, secret agent Archer is the biggest douche bag on earth. And the most lovable one too. He is sex crazed, lazy, rude, insensitive, plagued with major Oedipal mother issues (try not to laugh when he gets half a boner after his mother’s life is threatened–”the other half really wanted you to live” he said) and has given himself a license to kill. AND an unlimited budget. Archer almost always saves the day but almost never on purpose. Archer’s self interest, self preservation and self centeredness is a thing of horrific beauty. This is the best animated show on Television right now.
  5. Caprica (season 1)
    What a debut! Go ahead and call it boring but this is real sci-fi or, as Roman DeBeers on “Party Down” would say, ”hard sci-fi.” ’Star Trek”/”Battlestar” vet Ronald Moore’s (how’s that for nerd cred?) new show on the Syfy Channel is the stuff of pure cyberpunk storytelling full of noir heroes/antiheroes, ambiguous corporations, virtual reality nightmares, pagan cults, sexual Epicureanism and the dualistic hope/fear that technology can makes us more than human but at the same time reduce us to our savage cores. Advertised as a prequel series to “Battlestar,” “Caprica” distinguishes itself from its predecessor in almost every way possible. First off, instead of space, the show dives us into cyberspace. The show is set in a deceptive utopia (aren’t they all) and follows many charactersbut is, at its core, about two men struggling with loss. One (Eric Stoltz) is the most powerful man in the country (an ass-holier version of Bill Gates) and the other is a detective (Esai Morales). Both lose their children in a terrorist attack (curse you, one-true-God-ers!) and turn to the dark side. Oh, and there’s robots!
    This show is not for the adventure seeking or, for that matter, the low-end of the “Battlestar Galactica” fan base that just want to see stuff blow up. While we all know the robots will eventually nuke the frack out of Caprica, this show of the same name posits the fascinating notion that Capricawasdestroying itself well before that apocalyptic end point. It also opens some really gritty philosophical questions relating to human memories. If a person’s essence can be downloaded, are they real? Do they have a soul? The show plays with such notions as Stoltz’s “dead” daughter exists as memories that inhabit the clunky form of a Cylon prototype while Morales’ equally dead daughter (Bill Adama’s sister  by the way) becomes the Neo of Caprica’s virtual world. As much as I would love to blab on I’ll just say that an ambiguous and smart sci-fi show like this is real treasure because it usually never makes it out of the novel stage. ”Caprica” is for viewers who prefer something like ”Blade Runner” to “Star Wars.” Both are great in their own way but we tend to get way more of one than the other and I hope “Caprica” gets a fair shake even though I fear it won’t make it past season 1.5 which is set to air in January. Long live the new flesh.
  6.  Aqua Teen Hunger Force(season apple chin fur neck tie)–
    “ATHF” saw a much welcomed resurgence in quality and to some degree did that by going back to basics. And by basics I mean random-ass shiz. The season’s meta friendly premiere episode was a gooey love letter to fans ejaculated out of Master Shake’s mighty phallic straw. That is his own super power after all. And it only got better from there culminating in a 100th episode celebration that is very much in keeping with the vibe of the show. I’ll just quote the synopsis “Shake tries to collect syndication money for completing the 100th episode. The Aqua Teens are forced to start a new series of episodes after they are threatened by the “100″ monster.” Perfect. Nothing else needs to be said really.
  7. Doctor Who (series 6)–
    Matt Smith is a bit of a creep. It doesn’t help that Smith, the tenth incarnation of The Doctor just replaced the best incarnation of the Doctor of all time played by, well, he whom I shall not name for I can’t bear the thought of him not being the Doctor. The upside to a lesser Doctor though is, first, THEY ARE ALL LESSER after all and, second, Smith actually got a lot better as the 13 episode season progressed and the lack of expectation is what freed the show up, allowing it to do its own thing in it’s own way. Smith’s Doctor grows on you through a playful mix of youthful mania, razor sharp intellect, scatter brained actions and, to counteract that, a touch of exhaustion and tiredness (he is 900 years old after all). The Doctor was not the only thing to improve. The overall plotting reached new heights. The show runner this season is of course Steven Moffat who I would argue is real genus behind the show all these years (Russell T. Davies is a huge wanker at times). Moffat scaled the scope down a notch while brilliantly adding more complexities and was wise to do so because in the past the series keep trying to one up itself and only tripping over its grandiose gestures in the process.
    This season is more about ideas and characters (Amy Pond and her boyfriend are awesome companions) and even science. Erm, just try to forget the embarrassing Churchill/Dalek episode and underground Lizard people two parter when factoring in that compliment. Another cool aspect to this “new” “Who” is that we are given more implicit insights into the Doctor’s intelligence and problem solving abilities–when he uses the Tardis (which feels like a character at this point), for instance, he explains how and why he’s using it and it almost makes sense! Even the historical episodes proved to be a win for the show as it engages in far more than the usual self amusement “hey, look, it’s so-and-so, aren’t we clever.” Film director Richard Curtis wrote one of the series best historical episodes, a heartwarming van Gogh centered plot that playfully twists are notion of history and uses art to do so. It’s also a very touching episode. Oh, and the final episodes, a true past/present/future time travel juggling act, have more fun with the oddities of time travel than any other episode to date. I won’t spoil the fun except to say we finally begin to understand what it must be like to move through and change the nature of time. And it’s madness! As good as the show became, the best thing this season of “Who” did is ease my fears that the show could not go on without David Tennant. Ah!!!!!!!, see, he’s not even he who I shall not name anymore!
  8. Lost (season 6)
    I had not been this excited/scared about a show ending since the good old days of “Buffy” season 7–full reactions/favorite episodes
    HERE. By the time ”Lost” ended for good though I, like many, had… mixed feelings. The show ultimately played it safe and even sentimental (the all-religion church is just about the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen; strangely enough, “Lost” has always been the most spiritual show with the least spiritual fan-base) but playing it safe also means not totally sucking and, thankfully, the show was able to ensure its legacy. Six was a good but far from great season that wasted a lot of time on unessential and/or underdeveloped plots (the temple episodes and  ”Across the Sea” are among the series’ worst ideas) and characters (more agonizing Kate episodes, the mythology wrecking ball that is Zoe, and what was the point of Ilana?) only to scramble in the last quarter of the season to resolve/reconcile the complex mythology surrounding the stuff we actually care about. Still, I think when it ended we all learned the lesson that it’s not about the answers but the journey and, frankly, I’m kinda burned out on decoding ”Lost.” Teaching me to let go was the best gift this show could have given me after so many years. Leading up to this final season, seasons four and five were not just great but a perfect blend/execution/evolution of sci-fi, drama and mystery (it was my number one show last year) and I was sad to see the final season stop way short of that level of twisty genre sophistication. Still, I give season six credit because, again, I feel it kept the legacy intact without blowing it apart in a Jughead-like fashion. In The End this is a show that finally earned the right to be mentioned in the same breath as “Twin Peaks,” “X-Files” and “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and regardless of how much or little you or I liked/disliked its final moments, season six had a big part to play in sealing “Lost’s” legacy. A show like this.
  9. Dexter (season 4)–The most improved show of the year! I ranked “Dexter” season 3 and the early parts of season 4 quite low last year. And for good reason: it was not very good. Well, when season 4 finished I thought to myself ”wow.” Then thought ”Wowey, wow, wow, wow!” All my issues withdomestic Dexter (both the character and show) being dragged down and tamed by the “normal life” (children, wife, baby seats, BBQs ugh) was addressed with a blood curdling vengeance. With the prospect of a darker, angrier and single(er) Dexter Morgan (the great Michael C. Hall) I want season 5 to air so bad I can smell the blood. The season long arc of serial killer John Lighgow that Dexter clings on to (probably due to daddy issues) is far and away the series’ best long-form plot to date and even manages to surpass that little Ice Truck Killer incident. Lithgow gave what was the best performance of the year while reminding me in the process of his killer De Palma performances of the 80s and 90s. replaced.
  10. Party Down (season 1 and 2)
    While it just bit the dust I have a feeling that history will be kinder to “Party Down” than almost any comedy on TV right now. While aesthetically similar to “The Office”, “Party Down” does what that show does not. It’s funny. Consistently so. It knows exactly how to utilize awkward-social-situation-at-work humor without constantly having to show-off at how clever it is to its audience. More reasons to love this show are, #1, it’s waaaaaaaaay better than any network sitcom shot in a similar style and that includes the overrated Emmy winner “Modern Family.” Reason #2: lead by Adam Scott and Ken Marino this is an ensemble show without a single weak link (even Megan Mullally, taking over for Jane Lynch, is a total gem of a character). Reason #3: if 80s movies taught us anything it’s that drug use in comedies is actually funny. Reason #4: this is a show about a work (a catering service) where no work gets down and that reminds me of “NewsRadio”; being reminded of “NewsRadio” is always a good thing. Reason # 5: Never has nerd rage been as vividly captured on film as by Martin Starr in this show. His use of the term “hard sci-fi” has become a running gag with me. For instance, is someone mentions “Avatar” I can now shoot back with a dismissive “Avatar sucks…. I’m all about HARD sci-fi.” As the embittered writer, Starr (“Freaks and Geeks,” “Adventureland”) was without a doubt the most entertaining character on television last season. He will be missed. So will this show.
  11. Justified (season 1)
    Every week a U.S. Marshal played by Timothy Olyphant (reunited withhis ”Deadwood” cowboy hat) tracks down a criminal, chats with them, gets shot at and throws them in jail (or a morgue).  His interactions withcriminals, more than his colleagues girlfriend, is what makes the show special. What’s so remarkable is how vividly these criminals are written and how cool the protagonist is. He respects them, you see, more than he does himself in a lot of ways. When faced with ambiguities, and there are a lot, he just smiles, keeps his opinions to himself and presses on. He is a classic western hero in that sense. The answer to how show runner Graham Yost pulls this all this off is simple: his show is adapted from an Elmore Leonard story and as we all know (or not), Leonard is the best dialogue writer on earth. Not just that but the writing team lead by Yost retains Leondard’s unique voice that is funny, humanizing and, while utilizing many cop conventions, is never conventional in its approach or execution. So, yeah, for those reasons as well as Walter Goggins as a born again criminal, ”Justified” is the coolest show on TV. It also gets points for revitalizing the Western on Television, something that has not happened since “Firefly.”
  12. Fringe (Season 2)–
    After I finished “Lost” I wiped my tears and cleaned up the apartment I destroyed out non-denominational church season six rage. Two minutes later I missed the hell out of “Lost” and not too long after that I scrambled to find a new sci-fi mythology-ish type show to fill the void or as I like to call it the cork in the middle of my island. Hum, there’s that “Fringe” show that looks almost good and rips off “X-Files” so okay, why not, game on. So I the watched two full seasons of “Fringe” this summer and… the show sucks. But its a delightfully fun suck that sucks in more ways that one: it sucked up my time! First off, the flaws prevent it from ever really taking off above many of the above and shows I’m listing. “Fringe” is a slave to its formula. The show is full of annoyingly predictable plot beats: a death or murder that’s paranormal in nature, then some small talk, them some detective work followed by thirty seconds of character development and/or banter (if we’re lucky, usually it’s only a few seconds), then action, then Michael Giacchino’s recycled “Alias” music, and finally a brisk resolution that usually ends with “and he did it with the power of his mind!” The character speaking that line is the best version of a modern of a mad scientist that we’ll ever get (John Noble) and he makes “Fringe” worth watching every week. You never know what he’s going to do even though you kinda always know what the show is. Noble’s son is played by Joshua Jackson who is also good but in a stoically charming, measured delivery Pacey from “Dawson’s Creek” sort of way. As for the lead character played by Anna Torv… well, she’s no Skully. She’s down right square in fact and posses so little charm and charisma that she practically vanishes before our eyes every time she’s on screen. But Torv’s blandness has a side effect in that it allows the two best characters on the show to feel all the more quirky and interesting. The episode titled “Peter” in which we finally get to see into Walter’s past tragedy involving his sick son and eventual dimension hopping betrayal of, well, himself (Walternate he is called, hehe) remains a highlight of television in 2010 and proves that this show is best when it doesn’t follow a formula. Even as it’s stuck in the fun-suck mode though “Fringe” is nothing less than the best procedural on TV (not saying much) because it’s comes up withgenuinely fun ways of mashing up the mystery formula with paranormal science.
  13. Curb Your Enthusiasm (season 7)–
    Look, this show is good enough to be ranked much, much higher on this list (at least up in the top ten if not top five) but after so many years I wanted to give some other shows a chance. The “Seinfeld” reunion was a near perfect season long story arc (it ranks up there with the Larry death and “Producers” season). I am amazed at how this comedy show has not even come close to wearing out its welcome. Every season is as fresh and funny as the last. Not even “Seinfeld” achieved that!
  14. True Blood (season 3)–
    This show is about the only thing keeping Vampires cool these days. Season three is almost over and half of it hasn’t as good as what I’ve come to expect from this deliberately trashy vampire show. The other half is brilliant trash. Sometimes I love the anything-goes feel of “True Blood” more than the given episode I may be watching. The camp, the sex, the goofy writing and of course the series the regulars are all decent but dodgy plotting (Merlot’s dog fighting family, that werewolf guy and his skank, Lafayette and Jesus romance plot etc.) in the early episodes and too many boring  new characters brought this season down to a low even season two didn’t reach. And let’s face it, Bill and Sookie have become TV’s most predictable couple. For three seasons the two interspecies lovers have been stuck in a mindless triple-B pattern of bickering, banging and being apart. Over and over. And over. It’s really time for Sookie and Eric to give it a go because couples that hate each other are way hotter than whatever Bill and “Sukkkaaaaa” are into. Also, they are the new Buffy/Spike after all. But, yeah, ”Blood” redeemed itself big time in the season’s later episodes, proving it was still capable of offering up genuine surprises. Most of that is thanks to biggest bad ass-eist big bad of of all time, The King, played by character actor Dennis O’Hare. What happens when an infinitely powerful –and very gay– 3,000-year-old vampire snaps? “Blood” has an answer for that and it’s a really good one.
  15. Code Geass: R2 (season 1)
    “Code Geass” was a great mech/messiah show because the human element was never lost amidst all the super cool (and strange) tactical robot battles. It’s sci-fi allthe way with a story about a British Empire taking over the world and a band of Japanese rebels lead by a powerful teen fighting back. While this kind of lingering post-war Japanese revisionist (future) history is hardly original, it kept the story alive with its imagination and use of action. R2, a second season/series of sorts improves almost everything that was great about the first series of episodes. It’s got enough tension, action, freaky Japanese sex stuff to keep Anime fanswell fed and the plot has showed a surprising increase in complexity and depth. It dosen’t hurtthat the series also borrowed from the best of “Death Note” (the #1 Anime show of all time) to tell its story about a bombastic protagonist (student by day, blah, blah, blah by night) slowly growing mad with power while balancing the burdens of the world on his shoulders.
  16. Venture Brothers (season 4)–
    GO TEAM VENTURE! “Venture Brothers” is really the most ambitious show on Cartoon Network. While I love all the postmodern head games that shows like “Aqua Teen,” “Robot Chicken” and “Metalocolypse” throw at us, “Venture” is so consistent in its storytelling bravado and so consistently funny to boot that it will go down as one of the greats. Yes, I’m ranking this show way too low this year but I do not do so out of any decrease in quality but purely because I am sad to admit that I missed most season 4 episodes when they aired. As usual Cartoon Network is asleep at the wheel when it comes to releasing DVD/Blu-Ray sets. Grr.
  17. 24 (season 8)–
    The ups and downs in the life of poor Jack Bauer continue… for the last time. After a strong seventh season (gotta love the African terrorists that scuba dive their way into the White House) the show is going out on a down note but, once again, I’ve only seen about half the season and if I know anything about ”24″ it’s that even though I kinda know what it’s going to do, I NEVER know how well it’s going to do what its going to do. At any rate “24″ was smart to shift the setting to D.C. and New York in its final two seasons. And a special mention should go out to Keefer Sutherland who, year after year, doggidlychased after bad guys without ever appearing tired with the role. A man of action and regret, the barking Jack Bauer was often stuck on one note but, damn, what a great note to be stuck on. It’s just sad that the end of “Lost” stole so much thunder from the end of “24.” Across all mediums “24″ was able to carve out a remarkable benchmark for the action genre. It’s influence can even be felt in action movies. May the clank sound of “24′s” digital clock never be silenced.
  18. Chuck (season 3)–
    Season three sucked compared to one and two. Like, a major step down but I’m not sure if I can blame that on the Super Chuck plotlines which are usually exciting and as a bonus give Neo Chuck more to do than squeal in wimpy horror. Still, I kinda like the Chuck that couldn’t fight. Hell, I even liked the not-so-popular Brandon Routh. So why is this the worst season to date? To be honest I think it’s fatigue from the dragged out sexual tension between Chuck and Agent Walker. Is this show not aware of the “Moonlighting” curse? And am I the only one that wishes ”Chuck” bring back the unfairly shafted (literally) Kristen Kreuk? Now that I got that out of the way, yes, I LOVE CHUCK. Despite a lot of action it is by far the most fun and innocent show on television and I can’t wait to see Chuck vs. Season 4!
  19. Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood (season 1)–
    Nowhere near the golden era of FMA but a solid and fascinating anime show that reenvisions the previous series had it not diverged from the Manga. It’s such a rare thing too. A show that’s a remake of itself! Is it necessary? No. Am I glad to be treated to new(ish) episode from one of my favorite animated series of all time? Hell yeah! If only more Anime shows did the same.
  20. Tim and Eric Awesome Show (season 4)
    Great Job!
  21. The IT Crowd (season 3)
    Have you tried restarting your computer?
  22. Mad Men (season 3)–
    Yeah, okay, I suck for not liking “Mad Men” more. Whatever. While season three is wonderfully crafted it is wonderfully crafted (acting, cinematography, production design etc.) in a way that is predictiable and a bit dull. Hum, that makes no sense but for some reason I think this is a show that has never really added anything to the near perfect first season. Same thing happened to “Six Feet Under.” So why am I still watching every episode? It’s like porn for smart people and while I am not smart I do love porn! There were many great moments like the final break-up in Don’s professional and personal life but also so much wasteful pretentions and indulgences that go nowhere. As an update, season four is looking to be, surprise, good but not earth shattering or worthy of all the gushing.
  23. Smallville (season 9!)–
    I’ll admit to missing the hell out of the show’s Doomsday season. That was among the best of the best of 2008/2009 television and I was not ashamed to admit that at the time, ranking the show as high as number 3 on my list last year. This season… was not. Not even close. “Smallville” has always been a hit or miss affair and it’s neo-Zod plot (he’s a clone, I think… I don’t even care to be honest) is decent but far from original as armies, alliances, frenemieswith Clark have all been done and done better in the past. The writing and season long plotting was very, very, VERY weak in a lot of places but the season performed the mini miracle of not making Clark and Lois a boring couple like the ones above (“Chuck,” “True Blood”). That’s especially amazing considering how irritating Lois has been all these years. Filler episodes in this series have always ranged between the bad and the unwatchable (good god, did they really make a haunted hotel episode this season?) but what disappointed me was that the usually strong key episodes (usually occurring during the opening of the season, sweeps an final episodes) were lacking the power that I have come to rely on. I’m still a fan and, even better than that, an optimistic fan. I have a really good feeling about the final “Smallville” season coming up but the beauty of this show is that even if it’s not very good, it’s still worth watching.
  24. Vampire Diaries (season 1)
    At times better than “True Blood.” At other times worse than “Twilight.” This is one of the few instances where being the second best vampire show on TV isn’t a bad thing.
  25. Human Target (season 1)–
    For some reason action shows that don’t involve Jack Bauer don’t get much attention on mainstream television. Human Target looks to change that. Here’s hoping season two finds an audience.
  26. I Watch Too Much TV I Need To Get A  Life (season 1)
    Not a show. Just talking about myself.

Not quite this season but had to mention: Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles
I have to mention ”Terminator: SCC” because this is the year I finally finished the series and because I ranked it wayyyyyyy too low last year, having only seen a few season two episodes. If it came out this year it would have been the number one or two ranked show. Season two in its entirety is (…or, ugh, was) brilliant in an unexpected way and in a way that’s hard to figure out in terms of how could a show so middling turn out so heart wrenching tragic and action packed. I never could have guessed how good season two of this sadly canceled show would be. Yeah, it surpasses the first season sure but here’s the amazing thing: season two of this show is better than any “Terminator” movie! I’ve never truly connected with or loved the “Terminator” mythology until I finished the last season of this show which, along with “Party Down” is now officially the most tragically cut short series since “Firefly.” “I love you, John” is the final line of the show and couldn’t have said it better myself.

Most Improved in 2009/2010: Dexter
Most Un-Improved in 2009/2010:Smallville and Mad Men (the last time these two shows will ever be compared by anyone, anywhere)
Best New Show: Archer, Caprica and Party Down. Don’t make me pick just one. So many good new shows!  
Show I Could Not Bring Myself To Watch That Might Be Good: Dollhouse. I’m the biggest Joss fan in the world but I have avoided this show. I knew it was going to fail and I knew it would not be anywhere close to his former glory. Maybe I’m wrong.
Show I Can’t Believe I Have No Interest In Given How Big Of A Nerd I Am: V
Best Talk Show: The Charley Rose Show
Best Reality Show: Hoarders, Mythbusters and Man vs. Food
Best Ensemble Cast: Damages
followed very closely by Lost and Party Down. 
Most Likable Actor in the Most Meh Show: Nathan Fillion in Castle.
Most Underrated Character: Chris Bauer (Det. Bellefleur) in True Blood.
Most Overrated Sitcom:
Modern Family. I saw the first five episodes. So-so. Not sure how a show with very broad and “edgy” family humor won a best writing and best comedy Emmy. This show has tricked a lot of people into watching a freaking family comedy. It may be mildly amusing but it’s still a family comedy. It’s no “Arrested Development” that’s for sure.  
Best Miniseries: Torchwood: Children of Earth.
Best Network: FX. Damages, Archer, It’s Always Sunny, Sons of Anarchy and Justified. You can’t beat that line up! Even though FX passed on Damages it’s the best network around and that’s not going to change next season (the new show “Terriers” looks great!).
Best Show of Next Season: I’m calling it… Walking Dead. It’s the best graphic novel around and there’s no way the show’s not going to be good.

Best Individual Episodes:

  1. Lost, “Ab Aeterno” (the most important episode of Lost ever. It remains the best TV retcon episode ever.)
  2. Breaking Bad, “Fly”
  3. Archer “Honeypot” (the gay episode)
  4. Dexter “The Getaway” (season finale)
  5. Fringe, “Peter”
  6. Aqua Teen Hunger Force, “Rabbit Redux”
  7. It’s Always Sunny, “Paddy’s Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens”
  8. Justified, “Pilot”
  9. Doctor Who, “Vincent and the Doctor”
  10. Party Down, (tie) “Nick DiCintio’s Orgy Night” and “Guttenberg’s Birthday”
  11. Damages, “The Next One’s Gonna Go in Your Throat”
  12. Torchwood, “Children of Earth” (didn’t include above b/c it’s not a full season).
  13. Lost, “The Candidate”
  14. Lost “Happily Ever After”
  15. And of course the final two Doctor Who episodes.

 

The Worst Shows of 2009/2010:

  1. Family Guy–I watch FG from time to time and am always surprised at how much it sucks. The 150th episode finds Brian and Stewey trapped in a bank and… yeah, that’s about as funny as it gets. This show sucks. It was once good. A long, long time ago. It is now bad. Very bad. The worst show on TV bad. I hate Family Guy!
  2. American Idol
  3. Entourage
  4. The Jay Leno Show (late night and primetime)
  5. Jersey Shore
  6. The Office
  7. Two and a Half Men
  8. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
  9. Grey’s Anatomy
  10. The Hills
  11. Treme

Top TV Performances:

  1. John Lithgow, Dexter
  2. Terry O’Quinn, Lost
  3. John “I have an erection” Noble, Fringe
  4. Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
  5. Glenn Close, Damages
  6. John Hamm, Mad Men
  7. Martin Starr, Party Down
  8. Denis O’Hare (The King!), True Blood
  9. Danny DeVito, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
  10. Martin Short, Damages
  11. Michael C. Hall, Dexter
  12. H. Jon Benjman, Archer (voice performance)
  13. Timothy Olyphant, Justified
  14. Michael Emmerson, Lost
  15. Eric Stoltz, Caprica
  16. Dana Snyder, Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Squidbillies (voice)
  17. Jared Harris, Mad Men
  18. Elizabeth Moss, Mad Men
  19. Nestor Carbonel, Lost
  20. Alexander Skarsgård, True Blood (not a great actor, just really cool)
  21. Megan Mallally, Party Down
  22. Chris Bauer (Det. Bellefleur), True Blood
  23. Ken Marino, Party Down
  24. (real life) Cow, Fringe
  25. Jesus, this list is a sausage fest.

Worst TV Performances:

  • Allison Janney as Zoe on Lost. More of a bad character than a bad performance. Still, never has a on-off character appearance come this close to ruining an entire show.
  • Evangeline Lilly on Lost
  • That Eggs guy form season two of True Blood.
  • Reality show actors–and, yes, they are all actors!
  • Julie Benz on Dexter (never been happier to see a loved one offed. Now about those kids…)
  • Blake Lively on Gossip Girl (can’t wait to see her suck at movies too! still, though, those boobs get an A++)

Shows I’ve Ranked #1 From the Last 10 Years:

  • (2000) Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 4/5
  • (2001) Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 6
  • (2002) Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 7
  • (2003) Angel season 5
  • (2004) Arrested Development season 1
  • (2005) Battlestar Galactica season 2.5
  • (2006) Aqua Teen Hunger Force season 5
  • (2007) Frisky Dingo season 2
  • (2008) Lost season 5
  • (2009/20010) B     R      E     A     K     I     N     G               B     A     D

Why Damages Should Have Won The Emmy For Best Drama: While watching the last episode of “Damages” it occurred to me that there has never been and may never will be again a lawyer show like “Damages.” It is, at its core, a show more about relationships than lawyers. It is also a brilliantly crafted thriller, yes, but more than that it’s all about tightly knit and wound and sometimes even choking connections lawyers make with themselves, with their lovers and with their clients. With a clenched intensity ”Damages” has the and ability to move past lawyer movie/show tropes and expose the people of this profession in the most illuminating and dramatically interesting ways possible. Sure, a unique lawyer movie such as Sidney Lumet’s “Night Falls on Manhattan” or TV show like “Murder One” and of course the original (and only good version of…) “Law & Order” are examples of the best this genre has to offer but I feel this is a genre that has never been as good as we’ve made it out to be. Until now.

The third season of “Damages” took a long, long time to get interesting but that’s why cable shows are often so much better. Where else could a show spend 9 episodes setting everything up? This show is afforded the luxury to buld like a movie rather than a show that needs to worry about high ratings on every episode and, lets face it, “Damages” never needs to worry about how many people are watching because the answer is always the same. None, and that’s a shame. The show, along with it’s now iconic protagonist Patty Hughes (Emmy winner Glen Close), oozed tension and venom. Taking a page from “Law and Order’s” “ripped from the headlines” playbook and crossing it with “Murder One’s” season long arc dealing with a single case this season of “Damages,” about the legal/political/personal aftermath of Bernie Maddoff pnozi scheme where a disgraced family continues to hide all those billions they stole, came together in ways that no other show, lawyer or otherwise, has before it. There are so many sins of the past, shadowy discresions and time jumps at play at any given moment that “Damages” managed to give “Lost” a real run for its money.

Unlike “Lost” this series ended on a high note rather than a safe one. Season three did not simply resolve its own inherently great and un-contrived topical plot, but those of season one and two that I forgot about such as Ellen Parson’s (always underplayed by Rose Byrne) husband’s deathand Patty’s true relationship withEllen! Same goes for Timothy Olyphant’s character from season two (he has since moved over to FX’s great “Justified”). Even Ted Danson’s character got to reprise his once central role in a handful of great episodes. By the end, this show’s ability to weave together all the plot points of seasons past and present and, here’s the key, organically pay off these many threads and stories withlogic, intensity and a lot of dramatic schadenfreude is astounding. All the characters get, more or less, what they’ve deserved and thaks to a last minute renewal and network shift (DirectTV) they will live to go through it all again.

Best of DecadeS

Best of Decade(s) Mega List: Since movies this year have been, to put things kindly, underwhelming (its days like this I’m glad I’m not a real writer because there’s nothing worth writing about), and summer’s not going to be much better for the second year in a row (all nerds like me have to look forward is, what, Inception and Scott Pilgrim–okay, Predators too but don’t tell anyone I said that),  there really is no better time than now to look back. I began with just wanting to name my favorite films from the past decades of cinema leading up to the 2000-2009 but, of course, that turned into a longer, more bloated and memory testing endeavor. As objective as all this may be, not to mention arbitrary (does a film released in 1991 belong more to the 90s culture or 80s?), doing this still gives me a fantastic sense of the movies within their proper history setting which is often the best way to look at them because so many once-great films may not hold up well today but still should be given credit for the era they did come out in. But lists like this are organic and change/evolve/devolve/etc within the viewer perception. We should not be ashamed to admit that how we feel about a given film, or in this case a list of films, is not really “how we feel about them” but, rather, how we feel about them at a specific time. That being said a list like this is never final; with any luck it will grow along with the viewer.

Here’s the real reason I’m doing this list. Over the coming weeks/months I’m going to get my Double Zero decade list on but before I do that I wanted to, for my own sake (because at this point in my life who else would I be doing this for?), start with past before moving to the most recent past. Now that I’ve gotten this list foreplay out of the way I can get into the real fun stuff by diving into 00′s lists covering the “best” music, best songs, video games, books, anime and of course movies of our most recently past decade, thus finally being able to let the last ten years go by putting it to bed in the graveyard of “best of” lists. Maybe then I will be more inspired to write about current movies. The future may be now but I’m not quite ready to live in it, and who can blame me; have you been to the theater lately?

Pre 1920s

  1. A Trip to the Moon (George Meles)
  2. Broken Blossoms (Griffith)
  3. Caberia (Pastrone)
  4. Intolerance (Griffith)
  5. Les Vampires (Feuillade–the first vampire movie?)
  6. The Outlaw and His Wife (Sjöström)
  7. Take Your Pick of Lumiere Brother films
  8. Leaves from Satan’s Book (Dreyer)
  9. Fantomas (Feuillade)
  10. Birth of a Nation (Griffith)
  11. J’Accuse (Gance)
  12. The Circus (Chaplin)
  13. Oyster Princess (Lubitsch)

Random Thoughts: As important as Griffith’s role as the person that changed, but really invented, the film narrative and use of the frame as well as even establishing the rules of film pacing, what Meles did with the medium was actually greater or at the very least more lovable: he did all that the super literal Griffith did but added the essential ingredient of imagination to the mix. I should say that while I very much enjoy films made in this era, it’s almost not fair to call them “films” in the way we use the term today. It’s more like pre or proto film which is not to dismiss the work of  this crucial era but, rather, to allow it to exist as its own art form and not be compared to films that have the advantage of building on a previous conventions. Should we compare the aesthetic quality of cave paintings to Rembrandt? Hell no, even though both can be amazing in their own way. I have friends who hate when I say that but I find that separating this era really allows these films to understood better.

1920s



  1. The Last Laugh (FW Murnau)
  2. The Passion of Joan of Arc (Dreyer)
  3. Metropolis (Lang)
  4. Sunrise (Murnau)
  5. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (Wiene)
  6. Nosferatu (Murnau)
  7. Battleship Potemkin (Eisenstein)
  8. Un Chien Andalou (Bunuel/Dali)
  9. The Crowd (Vidor)
  10. Man with the Movie Camera (Vertov)
  11. Sherlock Jr. (Keaton)
  12. Nanook of the North (Flaherty)
  13. Dr. Mabuse (Lang)
  14. Der Golum (Wegener)
  15. Faust (Murnau)
  16. Strike (Eisenstein)
  17. The Marked Ones (Dreyer)
  18. October (Eisenstein)
  19. Napoleon (Gance)
  20. Häxan (Christensen)


Top Filmmakers of the 20s Era: FW Murnau, Eisenstein
Performance of the decade: Maria Falconetti
in The Passion of Joan of Arc. Easily the best close-up performer in the history of cinema! Also, Keaton in The General because it goes far, far beyond just acting.
Most Overrated Film:
Chaplin’s The Kid. Also, The Jazz Singer
Random Thoughts: The dismissively titled “seventh art” took everything that worked from the earliest greats and added its own polish and professionalism. The silent film was absolutely perfected in this era which was, of course, on the cusp of so much change. But I take a certain comfort in this decade’s output as it cuts through the BS of so many films after. There ‘s an innocence and wonder that the 30s contained that just kinda went away. More than anything these films are a joy to look at; a simplistic way of putting it but is there any better way to describe the rapid visual poetry of Potemkin, the stark close-ups of Dreyer’s Joan of Arc and endlessly cool looking comic set-ups of just about any Keaton film? While comedies and science fiction came into their own Murnau, in particular, took film to the next level with his flawless titles Last Laugh (he moved the camera and broke the fourth wall before anybody), Sunrise, Faust and Nosferatu, none of which are like the other, all of which are perfect. Amazingly, Murnau works account for almost half this list! Dude Rocks

1930s



  1. M (Fritz Lang)
  2. Modern Times (Chaplin)
  3. Zero for Conduct (Vigo)
  4. The Rules of the Game (Renoir)
  5. Alexander Nevinski (Eisenstein)
  6. King Kong (Cooper)
  7. Angels with Dirty Faces (Curtiz)
  8. Frankenstein/The Bride of Frankenstein (Whale)
  9. City Lights (Chaplin)
  10. Stagecoach (Ford)
  11. Fury (Lang)
  12. The Thin Man (Van Dyke)
  13. The 39 Steps (Hitchcock)
  14. Greed (Stroheim)
  15. Bringing Up Baby (Hawks)
  16. Freaks (Browning)
  17. The Blue Angel (Sternberg)
  18. Pepe le Moko (Duvivier)
  19. Snow White (Disney)
  20. Gunga Din (Stevens)
  21. Lost Horizon (Capra)

Top Filmmakers of the 20s Era: Chaplin and Fritz Lang
Performance of the Decade
: Chaplin in Modern Times. Peter Lorre in M.
Most Overrated Films: Capra’s Mr. Smith Goes To Washington and
The Marx Brothers’ Duck Soup. Not a fan of Capra/not a fan of (in Sean Connery voice…) the Marx brothers. I’m a huge dick because of this apparently.

Random Thoughts: Also known as the awkward decade. A transitional era in every way, but that’s what makes its films so unique. When else could something like M have been released? Who needs sound when you have a figure like Chaplin taking cinema to its most exuberant heights. While sound certainly is preferred by almost anybody, this new technology kind of ruined a lot of the films of the period.  Hollywood and elsewhere didn’t quite know what to do with it but that’s also what made some of the films of the era so exciting.

1940s

 

  1. Citizen Kane (Orson Welles)
    Citizen Kane (Welles)
    Citizen Kane (Welles)
    …more Citizen Kane (Welles)
  2. His Girl Friday (Hawks)
  3. Stray Dog (Kurosawa)
  4. Bicycle Thieves (DeSica)
  5. Double Indemnity (Wilder)
  6. The Magnificent Ambersons (Welles)
  7. The Woman in the Window (Lang)
  8. Shadow of a Doubt (Hichcock)
  9. Kind Hearts and Coronets (Hammer)
  10. The Treasure of Sierra Madre (Huston)
  11. Rebecca (Hitchcock)
  12. Sullivan’s Travels (Sturges)
  13. The Third Man (Reed)
  14. Fantasia (Disney)
  15. Out of the Past (Tourneur)
  16. Rope (Hitchcock)
  17. The Red Shoes (P&P)
  18. Late Spring (Ozu)
  19. Beauty and the Beast (Cocteau)
  20. Naked City (Dassin)
  21. Laura (Preminger)
  22. Lady from Shanghai (Welles)
  23. Key Largo (Huston)
  24. The Great Dictator (Chaplin)
  25. Red River (Hawks)
  26. Casablanca (Curtiz)
  27. Notorious (Hitchcck)
  28. The Big Sleep (Hawks)
  29. Detour (Ulmer)
  30. The Stranger (Welles)
  31. Pursued (Walsh)
  32. Meshes in the Afternoon (Deren)
  33. White Heat (Walsh)
  34. Mildred Pierce (Curtiz)
  35. Lifeboat (Hitchcock)
  36. Gilda (Vidor)
  37. The Razor’s Edge (Goulding)
  38. Ball of Fire (Hawks)
  39. The Postman Always Rings Twice (Garnett)
  40. Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Barton)
  41. The Lost Weekend (Wilder)
  42. The Philadelphia Story (Cukor)
  43. Dumbo (Sharpsteen)
  44. The Lady Eve (Sturges)
  45. The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (Mankiewicz)
  46. Gentleman’s Agreement (Kazan)
  47. The Wolfman (Waggner)
  48. Miracle on 34th Street (Seaton)
  49. The Ox-Bow Incident (Wellman)
  50. Palm Beach Story (Sturges)


Top Filmmakers of the 40s Era:
Orson Welles and
Howard Hawks.
And you got to give it up to Preston Sturges flawlessly prolific 1940s run that includes classics like Unfaithfully Yours, Miracle at Morgan’s Creek, Lady Eve, Christmas In July, The Sin of Harold Diddlebock (that odd Harold Loyd sequel to The Freshman), Palm Beach Story and, oh nothing, just Sullivan’s Travels. 13 films in 8 years. 13!!!! There is no filmmaker in the past or present that could ever match that run. Sturges put so much into his work during these ten short years that, when he tapped out after 1948, nobody could really blame the guy.
Performance of the decade: Joseph Cotton in Citizen Kane/Magnificent Ambersons/Shadow of a Doubt. Cotton is one of my all time favorite actors and it’s sad how little respect he gets these days or even at the time. His partner in crime is of course Orson Welles and his role in Citizen Kane is every bit as towering as Welles the director. And how about Alec Guinness in Kind Hearts and Coronets? Fred MacMurray in Double Indemnity proved that nobody reads Wilder dialogue better than Freddy Mac which is no easy task–sorry Jack Lemon, you’re good too.
Most Overrated Films: Capra’s It’s A Wonderful Life (no hate mail please).

Random Thoughts: The best decade for not just comedies but film in general? As much as I love the run the late 90s had, Yes, there’s no question that this was the true golden age of film. More than that this was the period when films became FILMS. American, European and Asian films all blossomed with such astounding growth and aesthetic maturity that, to watch the films from today’s time, is sobering to see how little the fundamentals have changed since the 40s. Only 2001 in the 60s, Pulp Fiction in the 90s and a few noteworthy art films have changed the core paradigm of what cinema is in any way worth noting. This is also the decade that genres sorted themselves out and established rules they still use to this day: dramas, comedies, noir and realism all came into their own as distinct modes of storytelling/filmmaking. I can never say enough good things about this era.

1950s


 

  1. Vertigo (Alfred Hitchcock)
  2. Rashomon (Kurosawa)
  3. Mr. Arkadin (Welles)
  4. Sunset Boulevard (Wilder)
  5. Singing in the Rain (Kelly/Doen)
  6. Night of the Hunger (Laughton)
  7. In a Lonely Place (Ray)
  8. Touch of Evil (Welles)
  9. High Noon (Zinnemann)
  10. Godzilla (Honda)
  11. The 400 Blows (Truffaut)
  12. The Big Heat (Fritz Lang)
  13. A Place in the Sun (Stevens)
  14. The Ten Commandments (De Mille)
  15. Pickup on South Street (Fuller)
  16. Rear Window (Hitchcock)
  17. Eyes Without a Face (Franju)
  18. Gun Crazy (Lewis)
  19. North by Northwest (Hitchcock)
  20. The Caine Mutiny (Dmytryk)
  21. Bridge on the River Kwai (Lean)
  22. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (Siegel)
  23. The Seventh Seal (Bergman)
  24. Kiss Me Deadly (Aldrich)
  25. The Hidden Fortress (Kurosawa)
  26. Leave her to Heaven (Stahl)
  27. Umberto D (DeSica)
  28. The Trouble with Harry (Hichcock)
  29. Orpheus (Cocteau)
  30. Hiroshma Mon Amour (Resnais)
  31. All About Eve (Mankiewicz)
  32. The African Queen (Huston)
  33. Shadows (Cassavetes)
  34. Winchester ’73 (Mann)
  35. La Strada (Fellini)
  36. Tokyo Story (Ozu)
  37. Written in the Wind (Sirk)
  38. Rififi (Dassin)
  39. Wild Strawberries (Bergman)
  40. Some Like it Hot (Wilder)
  41. Paths of Glory (Kubrick)
  42. Strangers on a Train (Hitchcock)
  43. A Face in the Crowd (Kazin)
  44. The River (Renoir)
  45. Sansho the Baliff (Mizoguchi)
  46. The World of Apu (Ray)
  47. Breathless (Godard)
  48. The Searchers (Ford)
  49. Dark City (Dieterie)
  50. Written on the Wind (Sirk)

Top Filmmakers of the 50s Era: Hitchcock and Wilder.
Performance of the decade:
Toshirô Mifune in Rashomon. Humphrey Bogart gave his best performance in In a Lonely Place.
Most Overrated Films: I love Hawks but Rio Bravo is grotesquely overrated (count me on team High Noon). Rey’s Rebel Without a Caus
always strikes nothing but false notes; every time I watch it is painful. I’m also not a fan of 90% of Kazan’s blockheaded work, On the Waterfront is so blunt and preachy I literally can’t sit through it any more (and I’ve seen it twice). And I can’t forget Giant. And though it’s not by any means bad, I will never understand how Seven Samauri became people favorite Kurosawa film.
Random Thoughts: Clearly, the 50s belonged to Hitchcock. And thank the movie gods for that too because, despite color kicking ass, this period of time saw movies at their most safe and bland. Not Hitch, though, whose films added bite and intensity and proved single handedly how the movies could capture (and twist) our emotions.

1960s

 

  1. 2001: A Space Odyssey (Stanley Kubrick)
  2. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (Leoni)
  3. High and Low (Kurosawa)
  4. Planet of the Apes (Schaffner)
  5. Becket (Glenville)
  6. Underworld USA (Fuller)
  7. The Shop on Main Street (Kadar and Klos)
  8. (Fellini)
  9. Night of the Living Dead (Romero)
  10. Woman in the Dunes (Teshigahara)
  11. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (Hill)
  12. Yojimbo/Sanjuro (Kurosawa)
  13. For a Few Dollars More (Leoni)
  14. Once Upon a Time in the West (Leoni)
  15. The Graduate (Nichols)
  16. I Am Cuba (Kalatozishvili)
  17. Lolita (Kubrick)Contempt (Godard)
  18. Z (Garvas)
  19. Dr. Strangelove (Kubrick)
  20. Rosemary’s Baby (Polanski)
  21. Closley Watched Trains (Menzel)
  22. Take the Money and Run (Allen)
  23. Zulu (Enfield)
  24. Point Blank (Boorman)
  25. Andrei Rublev (Tarkovsky)
  26. La Dolce Vita (Fellini)
  27. A Man for All Seasons (Zinnemann)
  28. Lawrence of Arabia (Lean)
  29. Cleo from 5 to 7 (Varda)
  30. From Russia With Love (Young)
  31. Shock Corridor (Fuller)
  32. La Jetée (Marker)
  33. Psycho (Hitchcock)
  34. Belle de Jour (Bunuel)
  35. The Trial (Welles)
  36. Persona (Bergman)
  37. Playtime (Tati)
  38. The Producers (Brooks)
  39. Manchurnian Canidate (Frankenheimer)
  40. Quartermass and the Pitt (Baker)
  41. Satyricon (Fellini)
  42. Hour of the Wolf (Bergman)
  43. The Wild Bunch (Peckinpah)
  44. Blow-Up (Antonoioni)
  45. What Ever Happened to Baby Jane (Aldrich)
  46. If… (Anderson)
  47. The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence (Ford)
  48. The Apartment
  49. Peeping Tom (Powell)
  50. The Umbrellas of Cherbourg – (Demy)


Top Filmmakers of the 60s Era: Kubrick and Leoni
Performance of the decade:
Clint Eastwood in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Peter O’Tool in Beckett. Peter Sellers in Dr. Strangelove and Lolita. Anthony Perkins in Psycho. Cliff Robertson in Underworld USA.
Most Overrated Films:
Lots. Easy Rider, Bonnie and Clyde, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Tom Jones, To Kill a Mocking Bird, Charade.
Random Thoughts: The 60s means something different to so many people. For some its the European Renaissance. For most its the birth of New Hollywood (ushered in with Bonnie and Clyde). For me… it’s Kubrick, Clint, and Apes. While I prefer the classic (30-40s) and modern (90s-00s) era to the 60s-80s looking at this list makes it hard to deny that this decade had a good run.

1970s

 

  1. The Duellists and Alien (both by Ridley Scott and no I can’t choose just one)
  2. The Man Who Would Be King (Huston)
  3. Barry Lyndon (Kubrick)
  4. Jaws (tried to keep Spielberg off the list but… it’s Jaws!)
  5. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia (Peckinpah)
  6. The Conversation (also tried to keep all Coppola off the list but, damn, this movie is perfect!)
  7. Carnal Knowledge (Nichols)
  8. Aguirre Wrath of God  (Herzog)
  9. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Gilliam/Jones)
  10. Walkabout (Roeg)
  11. Phantom of the Paradise (De Palma)
  12. Rolling Thunder (Flynn, written by Schrader)
  13. I, Claudius (miniseries, Wise)
  14. Network (Lumet)
  15. Eraser Head (Lynch)
  16. The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser (Herzog)
  17. The Passenger (Antonioni)
  18. The Fury (De Palma)
  19. Real Life (A Brooks)
  20. A Boy and His Dog (Jones)
  21. Amarcord (Fellini)
  22. Love and Death (Allen)
  23. Hardcore (Schrader)
  24. The Castle of Cagliostro (Miyazaki)
  25. Silent Running (Trumbull)
  26. Traveling Players (Angelopulos)
  27. Chinatown (Polanski)
  28. The Obscure Object of Desire (Bunuel)
  29. Red Beard (Kurosawa)
  30. Solaris (Tarkovsky)
  31. Fat City (Huston) “Did I get knocked out?” “No! You won!”
  32. Star Wars (Lucas)
  33. Manhattan (Allen)
  34. A Clockwork Orange (overrated but still amazing, Kubrick)
  35. Picnic at Hanging Rock (Weir)
  36. Being There (Ashby)
  37. Day for Night (Truffaut)
  38. Taxi Driver (Scorsese)
  39. Time After Time (Meyer)
  40. The Spy Who Loved Me (Gilbert)
  41. The Godfather II (Coppola)
  42. McCabe & Mrs. Miller (Robert Altman)
  43. Phantasm (Coscarelli)
  44. Pale Rider (Eastwood)
  45. Halloween (Carpenter)
  46. The Yakuza (Pollack)
  47. Zardoz (Boorman) “Zardoz is pleased.”
  48. Assault on Precinct 13 (Carpenter)
  49. Two Lane Blacktop (Hellman)
  50. The Last Wave (Weir)
  51. Apocalypse Now (Coppola)


Top Filmmakers of the 70s Era: Woody Allen. The rest were all high or something during these years.  
Performance of the Decade: Sigourney Weaver in Alien. William Holden and Ned Betty in Network. Michael Caine and Sean Connery in The Man Who Would Be King. Jack Nicholson was the straightest (and best) he’s ever been in The Passenger and Carnal Knowledge. Robert DeNiro in Taxi Driver. And I’ve never seen a performance quite like the one Susan Tyrrell in Huston’s Fat city. People should study what she does in that movie.
Most Overrated Films: The Godfather (“the best film ever” or a slightly above average mob movie hijacked/ruined by Brando, the most overrated actor of all time???), The Deer Hunter, Rocky, Coco’s Nest, The Sting and, as non best picture winners go American Graffiti, Nashville, Mean Streets and 1900.

Random Thoughts: You can have your Coppolas and Scorseses because Ridley Scott made the best two best  films of this era and I don’t care what culture-hogging baby boomers say to the contrary. Woody Allen pretty much made the rest. This was an odd and ugly decade in terms of aesthetics. Even some of the “best” films like Holy Grail and Jaws look foggy and dull. A part of me wishes that 70s and 80s films were made in glorious black and white because at least they would hold up better. Though no color filter could make the hair and glasses of the time look better. This of course is a personal opinion that not many share (because, again, baby boomers have convinced everyone that their generation is the best ever, for all time, the end) and to defuse being called an idiot I’m not saying the “classics” of this era aren’t classics on par with the greats of any other decade… only that there does seem to be more overrated titles that people won’t shut up about. What’s funny is that I didn’t even realize that until looking at all the notable works to come out in this much (too) celebrated period of cinema. On a bit of a controversial note (as if saying the 70s is overrated isn’t) I’m choosing The Duellists as the top film over Scott’s own seminal late 70′s masterwork Alien. It is one of the most rare and rewarding and unseen gems that the cinema has to offer and  more similar to Kubrick’s equally brilliant Barry Lyndon than people realize. See it!

The Top 100 Films of the 1980s

  1. Crimes and Misdemeanors (Woody Allen)
  2. Brazil (Gilliam)
  3. Die Hard (McTiernan)
  4. Mad Max 2 aka The Road Warrior (Miller)
  5. They Live (Carpenter)
  6. Evil Dead 2 (Raimi)
  7. Aliens (Cameron)
  8. The Empire Strikes Back (Lucas, I mean Kirshner)
  9. Blade Runner (Scott)
  10. Amadeus (Forman)
  11. Ran (Kurosawa)
  12. Predator (McTiernan)
  13. Raiders of the Lost Arc (Spielberg–argh, made the list again)
  14. Adventures of Barron Munchausen (Gillian)
  15. The Decalogue (Kieslowski)
  16. Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters (Schrader)
  17. My Dinner With Andre (Malle)
  18. The Thing (Carpenter)
  19. Fanny and Alexander (Bergman)
  20. Body Double (De Palma)
  21. Conan the Barbarian (Millius)
  22. Day of the Dead (Romero)
  23. Zelig (Allen)
  24. Down By Law (Jarmusch)
  25. Return of the Jedi (Marquand)
  26. The Big Blue (Besson)
  27. Re-animator (Gordon)
  28. Stalker (Tarkovsky)
  29. Akira (Okomo)
  30. Spaceballs (Brooks)
  31. Lethal Weapon 2 (Donner)
  32. Ferris Buller’s Day Off (Hughes)
  33. My Beautiful Launderet (Frears)
  34. My Neighbor Totoro (Miyazaki)
  35. Fitzcarraldo and Burden of Dreams (Herzog/Blank)
  36. Purple Rose of Cairo (Allen)
  37. Pee Wee’s Big Adventure (Burton)
  38. Hanna and Her Sisters (Allen)
  39. Videodrome (Cronenberg)
  40. Beetlejuice (Burton)
  41. The Last Temptation of Christ (Scorsese)
  42. Back to the Future part II (Zemeckis)
  43. After Hours (Scorsese)
  44. Robocop (Verhoeven)
  45. Blow Out (De Palma)
  46. House of Games (Mamet)
  47. Landscape In The Mist (Angelopulos)
  48. Broadcast News (Brooks)
  49. Blue Velvet (Lynch)
  50. Dead Calm (Noyce)
  51. Dead Ringers (Cronenberg)
  52. Escape from New York (Carpenter)
  53. A Fish Called Wanda (Crichton)
  54. The Untouchables (DePalma)
  55. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (Zemeckis)
  56. Stardust Memories (Allen)
  57. The Right Stuff (Kauffman)
  58. Ghotbusters (Reitman)
  59. Down and Out in Beverly Hills (Mazursky)
  60. Angel Heart (Parker)
  61. This is Spinal Tap (Reiner)
  62. The Name of the Rose (Annaud)
  63. Akira Kurosawa’s Dreams (Kurosawa)
  64. Sex, Lies and Videotape (Soderbergh)
  65. Better off Dead (Holland)
  66. Radio Days (Allen)
  67. The Falls (Greenaway)
  68. Mephisto (Szabo)
  69. Dressed to Kill (De Palma)
  70. A Zed & Two Naughts (Peter Greenaway)
  71. A Passage to India (Lean)
  72. Night of the Comet (Eberhradt)
  73. Labyrinth (Henson)
  74. Never Ending Story (Petersen)
  75. Tapeheads (Fishman)
  76. Legend (Scott)
  77. Do the Right Thing (Lee)
  78. Monsiur Hire (Leconte)
  79. the first half of Full Metal Jacket (Kubrick)
  80. Repo Man (Cox)
  81. Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown (Almodovar)
  82. Highlander (Mulcahy)
  83. Das Boot (Petrsen)
  84. Romancing the Stone (Zemeckis)
  85. Body Heat (Kasdan)
  86. Big Trouble in Little China (Carpenter)
  87. The Terminator (Cameron)
  88. The Bounty (Donaldson)
  89. The Quiet Earth (Murphy)
  90. Bloodsport (Arnold)
  91. Henry V (Branagh)
  92. Meet the Feebles (Jackson)
  93. Driving Miss Daisy (Beresford)
  94. The Little Mermaid (Clements)
  95. Salvador (Stone)
  96. Princess Bride (Reiner)
  97. Gates of Heaven (Morris)
  98. Mona Lisa (Jordan)
  99. The Abyss (Cameron)
  100. 2010: The Year We Make Contact (Hyams)
  101. Young Sherlock Holmes (Livingston)
  102. Explorers (Dante)
  103. Alien Nation (Baker)
  104. Hellraiser (Barker)

Top Filmmakers of the 80s Era: Woody Allen
Performance of the Decade: Because it’s an action movie
Bruce Willis gave the best performance in the decade in a little terrorist killing movie called Die Hard. At first that sounds out of place but, watch it again and study what Willis does here. Willis gives the kind of performance people find easy to overlook but he defined the everyman action her, adding equal parts humor, humanity and ass kicking to John McClane. The combo of Hulce/Abraham in Amadeus created one of the most vivid and tangled relationships in history (I’m a sucker for movie characters who love and hate each other to a point of obsession; see also, my placement of The Duallests). Jeremy Irons and his twin Jeremy Irons in Dead Ringers. And for the second decade in a row Sigourney Weaver brought heart and soul to the hard core action movie Aliens, proving, along with Willis, that action movies can be about so much more than action. Also amazing:
Kurt Russell in The Thing and Escape from New York, Michael Douglas in Wall Street and Romancing the Stone, Tim Curry in Legend (so cool, so evil), Harrison Ford in Blade Runner and Empire, Harry Dean Stanton in Repo Man. And Bruce Campbell in Evil Dead 2 because no actor went through as much hell and came out so charming.
Most Overrated Films: Scarface, the worst film ever made made by one of the best directors ever born. Also, Spielberg’s beloved E.T. is a rank, annoying, shrill, gooey, sentimental, stupid sci-fi feel good movie staring a dumb looking alien with a heart of, what, light bulbs? It’s what I hate about movies in general. People my age love it, and hate me for not. Also, despite seeing this movie four times, I’m still not and might not ever be as down with Ragging Bull as other film lovers seem to be. Perhaps it will grow on me like Blue Velvet, a film I really didn’t care for until the third viewing when I approached it as more of a self aware mystery suburban noir and was able to loved it from this new perspective. Honestly, though, a lot of 80s movies are overrated. When it comes to the 80s we are all in some way blinded by nostalgia.

Random Thoughts: The the most schizophrenic and aesthetically jacked up (and not always in a bad way) decade of cinema, the decade I was born in (coincidence?), was thankfully balanced by the timeless bravado of Woody Allen’s filmmaking, foreign films, sci-fi, horror, b-movies and great John Carpenter flicks. While Allen is more known for his 70s output, I found the mature, Bergman-ish Allen of the 80s to have hit his stride. I am grateful to Allen for cutting through the excessive style of the time (big hair, ugly glasses, neon) because, in America, his films actually hold up beyond the time period which is not something a lot of American 80s “classics” could say. At the same time, though, I don’t think any decade in history had more purely fun films at the top of the list–Hollywood wasn’t quite Hollywood till the 80s kicked in. I mean, in what other decade would a film like Die Hard or Predator or They Live top any sort of list? None. The 80s are an enigma, I love the era as much as I hate it.

The Top 150+ films of the 1990s

  1. Pulp Fiction (Quentin Tarentino)
  2. Topsy-Turvy (Leigh) “Thank…yoooou…veeeeery…much.”
  3. Magnolia (Anderson)
  4. Fight Club (David Fincher)
  5. JFK (Stone)
  6. Eyes Wide Shut (Kubrick)
  7. Deconstructing Harry (Allen)
  8. Heat (Mann)
  9. A Taste of Cherry (Kiarostami)
  10. Babe (Miller/Noonan)
  11. Out of Sight (Soderbergh)
  12. Hamlet (Branagh)
  13. The Game (Fincher)
  14. Strange Days (Bigelow)
  15. The Remains of the Day (Merchant)
  16. Nixon (Stone)
  17. Being John Malkovich (Jonze)
  18. Naked Lunch (Cronenberg)
  19. Dark City (Proyas)
  20. Boogie Nights (Anderson)
  21. Starship Troopers (Verhoeven)
  22. Contact (Zemeckis)
  23. Barton Fink (Coen bros)
  24. The Insider (Mann)
  25. Three Colors Trilogy (Kieslowski)
  26. The Limey (Soderbergh)
  27. The Ninth Gate (Polanski)
  28. Demon Night (Dickerson)
  29. Red Rock West (Dahl)
  30. The Thin Red Line (Malick)
  31. Kiki’s Delivery Service (Miyazaki)
  32. Delicatessen (Jeunet)
  33. The Fisher King (Gilliam)
  34. Hearts of Darkness (Bahr)
  35. Unforgiven (Eastwood)
  36. Sweet and Lowdown (Allen)
  37. Dead Again (Branagh)
  38. The Big Lebowski (Coen brothers)
  39. Dracula (Coppola)
  40. Clockers (Lee)
  41. Naked (Leigh)
  42. Aladdin (Clements and Musker)
  43. The Zero Effect (Kasdan)
  44. Total Recall (Verhoeven)
  45. The Shawshank Redemption (see, I can like sentimental–Darabont)
  46. Ulysses Gaze (Angelopoulos)
  47. The Stolen Children (Amelio)
  48. Natural Born Killers (Stone)
  49. Chungking Express (Kar-Wai)
  50. Three Kings (Russell)
  51. The Player (Altman)
  52. The Talented Mr. Ripley (Minghella)
  53. The Arrival (Twohy)
  54. After Dark, My Sweet (Foley)
  55. Bullets Over Broadway (Allen)
  56. Man Bites Dog (Belvaus)
  57. Crash (Cronenberg)
  58. Jacob’s Ladder (Lyne)
  59. Jerry and Tom (Rubniuk)
  60. Quick Change (Bill Murry. Yes, Bill Murry directed it)
  61. Smoke (Wang)
  62. White Hunter Black Heart (Eastwood)
  63. Rushmore (Anderson)
  64. Groundhog Day (Ramis)
  65. Twin Peaks Movie Pilot (Lynch)
  66. Waterworld (Reynolds/Costner)
  67. Wallace & Gromit: The Wrong Trousers (Park)
  68. The Hunt for Red October (McTiernan)
  69. As Good as it Gets (Brooks)
  70. Memoirs of an Invisible Man (Carpenter)
  71. The Cook, The Thief (Greenaway)
  72. Secrets and Lies (Leigh)
  73. Princess Mononoke (Miyazaki)
  74. Grosse Point Blank (Armitage)
  75. Close-Up (Kiarostami)
  76. Taylor of Panama (Borman)
  77. Looking for Richard (Pacino)
  78. Leon: The Professional (Besson)
  79. The Truman Show (Weir)
  80. Get Shorty (Sonnenfeld)
  81. Before Sunrise (Linklater)
  82. Reversal of Fortuine (Schroder)
  83. The City of Lost Children (Jeunet)
  84. Kingpin (Farelly bros)
  85. L.A. Confidential (Hanson)
  86. Jackie Brown (Tarantino)
  87. Miller’s Crossing (Coen Bros)
  88. Buffalo ’66 (Gallo)
  89. The Assignment (Duguay)
  90. Flirting with Disaster (Russell)
  91. The Last Boyscout (Tony Scott)
  92. Fresh (Yakin)
  93. The Long Kiss Goodnight (Harlin)
  94. Reservoir Dogs (Tarantino)
  95. Escape from L.A. (Carpenter)
  96. Toy Story (Lassiter)
  97. Ghost Dog (Jarmush)
  98. Alien: Resurrection (Jeunet)
  99. Breaking the Waves (von Trier)
  100. Until the End of the World (Wenders)
  101. Exotica (Egoyan)
  102. Harley Davidson and the Marbrol Man (Wincer)
  103. Tremors (Underwood)
  104. Screamers (Duguay)
  105. Hudson Hawk (Lehmann)
  106. Goldeneye (Campbell)
  107. In the Mouth of Madness (Carpenter)
  108. Short Cuts (Altman)
  109. Snake Eyes (De Palma)
  110. Fearless (Weir)
  111. Blade (Norrington)
  112. The Red Violin (Girard)
  113. Mission: Impossible (De Palma)
  114. Jesus’ Son (Maclean)
  115. Mystery Science Theater 3000 the Movie (Mallon)
  116. Diggstown (Ritchie)
  117. Tombstone (Costamos)
  118. The Usual Suspects (Singer)
  119. Hurlyburly (Drazan)
  120. Night Falls on Manhattan (Lumet)
  121. Ghost in the Shell (Oshii)
  122. The Last Seduction (Dahl)
  123. Waiting for Guffman (Guest)
  124. Underground (Kusturica)
  125. Fargo (Coen Brothers)
  126. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (Radomski)
  127. Se7en (Fincher)
  128. GATTACA (Niccol)
  129. Die Hard With a Vengeance (McTiernan)
  130. The Nightmare Before Christmas (Selick)
  131. The Road to Wellville (Parker)
  132. Homicide (Mamet)
  133. Malcolm X (Lee)
  134. Fallen Angels (Kar Wai)
  135. Holy Smoke (Campion)
  136. Sneakers (Robinson)
  137. True Lies (Cameron)
  138. The Thirteenth Floor (Rusnak)
  139. Happy Together (Kar Wai)
  140. Judge Dredd (shaddapp, it’s underrated)
  141. The Matrix (Wachowski bros)
  142. The Last Action Hero (McTiernan) “Look!… Elephant.”
  143. The English Patient (Minghella)
  144. The Rock (Bay, yes Michael Bay–he was bound to make at least one good movie)
  145. Schindler’s List (Spielberg)
  146. Farewell My Concubine (Kaige)
  147. 187 (Reynolds)
  148. The Age of Innocence (Scorsese)
  149. Tommy Boy (Segal)
  150. The Ice Storm (Lee)
  151. Austin Powers (Roach)
  152. Face/Off (Woo)
  153. Vampires (Carpenter)
  154. Cronos (Del Toro)
  155. Lord of Illusions (Barker)
  156. Godzilla 2000 (Okawara)
  157. Trainspotting (Boyle)
  158. The Lion King (Allers/Minkoff)

 

254. Titanic (Cameron)

 

341. American Beauty (Mendes)

 

801. Goodfellas (Scorsese)

Top Filmmakers of the 90s Era: QT did not just make films in the nineties, he defined the nineties. Also Oliver Stone went deep in his modernist experimental period in the 90s, destroying Hollywood conventions and getting people talking, really talking, about films. He opened up new forms of cinematic communication through yet people held that against him. I don’t know how such a forward, free thinking filmmaker can be marginalized by audiences and the institution itself. Such a shame. Then there’s David Fincher, a filmmaker that reinventing darkness in modern cinema (Se7en, The Game, and Fight Club), something that had not been done since noir’s black and white heyday. 
Performance of the Decade:
Topping the list is Samantha Morton as a mute in love with a non-stop talker in Woody Allen Sweet and Lowdown–whatever acting may be, Morton figured it out and did so without the need to utter a single word of dialogue. Garry Oldman in Dracula. Tom Cruse in Magnolia. Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction. David Thewlis in Naked. Phillip Baker Hall in Anderson’s Hard Eight. JT Walsh, RIP for his body of character actor work in the 90s. Ron Liebman gave the most underrated performance of the decade in Night Fall on Manhattan, a performance that could teach Al Pacino a thing or two about good over reaction as opposed to, uhhhhhh, Al Pacino acting. Elias Koteas in Crash.
Most Overrated Films: My ten picks for overrated/bad 90s films reads like most people’s favorites but here it goes…

1. Forrest Gump (Zemeckis)–I don’t like preachy films and I don’t like sentimental films that go for easy heart tugs–this film is both. I also never understood the overwhelming respect these films earned…
2. Life is Beautiful (That babbling idiot that nobody remembers)
3. Romeo + Juliet (Luhrman)

4.
Wild at Heart (Lynch)
5.
Run Lola Run (Twyker)
6. Batman Returns (Burton)–F-Tim Burton
7.
Braveheart (Gibson)
8. Casino (Scorsese)
9. Jurassic Park (Spielberg)
10. Saving Private Ryan (Spielberg, second half only) 
11. Dances with Wolves (Costner)
12. Mrs Doubtfire (Columbus)

Random Thoughts: Full disclosure: I’m a 90s boy. The 90s is the decade of the auteur. This era gave birth to Tarentino, Fincher, Soderbergh, both Andersons (Wes and PT), Linklater (to a lesser degree), John Dalh and a few more. Could you name half as many from this last decade?
Tarentino’s Pulp Fiction is an achievement beyond what most people realize. No film changed the style and rules of the medium more than Citizen Kane. Fact. But no film since Kane came close to doing so again until Pulp came along. The film changed the medium through storytelling devices, through its use of postmodern homages and, most notably, through writing. Characters never talked like that before, but always talk like that after Pulp. It’s one of the best films ever made but, on a personal note, its also my personal favorite. The other personal favorite (the only film that might actually surpass Pulp) is Mike Leigh’s Topsy Turvy, a good movie by most people’s standards, the best by mine. I can’t quite explain its allure, either. I’m not even a Gilbert and Sullivan fan but I am a Leigh fan and the (funny/dramatic/realistic/staged) tone he and his cast achieve is achievement of such morbidly beautiful harmony. Topsy-Turvy puts a smile on my face, it makes me happy to be alive, it makes me love movies. Through making this list I also was delighted to see how Kurosawa managed to make decade defining masterworks in the 1940s (Stray Dog), the 1950s (Rashomon), the 1960s (High and Low), 80s (Ran), and, yes, even in the 90s! His “Dreams” never get enough credit. For some reason Kurosawa seemed to sleep his way through the entire decade of the 70s but in his defense 1975′s Dersu Uzala is really high on my Netflix queue so maybe that will become an exception to this odd dry spell (was this around the time he attempted suicide? because that could explain it). The only other director that comes close (and is still going!) to bridging more than half a century of cinema is Woody Allen who’s impressive output began in
60s, eased into the 70s, reached its peek in the 80s, made a come-back in the 90s and of course continued all that good stuff into 2000s as well. Good god, man, how is that possible?! Even if you’re not a fan you have to respect that.

2000s???
So far I have the best films of the decade nailed down, just not the order. Now I can work on that. Until that happens in a few weeks, who knows, maybe something that I haven’t seen yet will make the list.

Directors With the Most Appearances On the List

  1. I put 12 Woody Allen films on the list! Best director ever or am I just a weird fanboy?
  2. Akira Kurosawa scored no less than 9 films.
  3. John Carpenter also with 9… holy crap, that’s more than…
  4. Alfred Hitchcock made no less than 8 films but that number could have easily been more.
  5. Stanley Kubrick made the list 8 times. Given how non prolific this director is that’s impressive.
  6. Orson Wells 7 of his films made the list. Amazing considering how few films he made. Or should I say: was allowed to make.
  7. Brian DePalma made the list 7 times. Even his “bad” films like Snake Eyes are great! Like Carpenter, De Palma is one of the unsung masters of the medium.
  8. Howard Hawks has 5 films on this list. Gotta respect Haws (despite my feelings toward Rio Bravo).
  9. FW Murnau made the list 4 times. 4 times in a single decade! That sets the single decade record.
  10. John Huston, the most underrated well known studio director of all time has 5 on the list and that’s not enough.
  11. Ridley Scott with 4 on the list.
  12. David Cronenberg, one of the all time greats with that magic number 4.
  13. Hayo Miyazaki with 4 on the list.
  14. Peter Weir, out of nowhere, with 4.
  15. Robert Zemeckis, a director I didn’t even know I liked (and am still not quite sure), managed to get 4 on the list. He can now be forgiven for making Forrest Gump.
  16. Tarkovsky with 3. but only because I haven’t seen The Mirror yet and can’t find Nostalghia, like, anywhere.
  17. Quentin Tarantino has 3 films but that was just from the 90s. One happened to be the best of the decade. If I factor in his shockingly consistent 00s run that number would be bumped up to 7. By 2020 he may be tied with Woody Allen.

Click for full list.

Directing


  1. James Grey’s Two Lovers
  2. Lars von Trier’s Antichrist
  3. Quentin Tarentino’s Inglourious Basterds
  4. Michael Heneke’s White Ribbon
  5. Kathryn Bigelow’s The Hurt Locker
  6. Chan wook Park’s Thirst
  7. Duncan Jones’s Moon
  8. Roy Anderrson’s You, The Living
  9. Jane Campion’s Bright Star
  10. Coen Brother’s A Serious Man
  11. John Hillcoat’s The Road

 

Writing

  1. QT’s Inglorous Basterds
  2. Armando Iannucci and co.’s In the Loop
  3. James Grey’s Two Lovers
  4. Coen Brothers’ A Serious Man
  5. Alessandro Camon and Oren Moveman’s The Messenger (a better story than Hurt Locker!)
  6. Duncan Jones and Nate Parker, Moon
  7. Woody Allen, Whatever Works (oh, shut up, the writing in that shit is tight)

Favorite Performances

  1. Sam Rockwell in Moon–one of the best one-man-performance movies ever. No other actor put as much in a role as Rockwell did. He not in the movie, he is the movie. Rockwell needs his due.
  2. Charlotte Gainsburrow and Willem Dafoe in Antichrist
  3. Kang-ho Song in Thirst–Easily my favorite international actor. The best vampire performance since Willem Dafoe in “Shadow of the Vampire.”
  4. Viggo Mortensen in The Road–History of Violence, Eastern Promises, The Road. Wow.
  5. Cristoph Waltz in Inglorous Basterds
  6. Peter Capaldi in In the Loop–”Climbing the mountain of conflict”? You sounded like a Nazi Julie Andrews!”
  7. Melenie Lorrent in Inglorous Basterds–Nobody could have seen either Lorrent (or Waltz) coming. While he stole the show, the movie belonged to her.
  8. Joaquin Phoenix in Two Lovers
  9. Jeremy Renner in Hurt Locker
  10. Tilda Swinton in Julia
  11. Colin Firth in A Single Man–This is what happens when a great actor finally gets a great role.
  12. Woody Harrelson in The Messenger and Zombieland–Great fun in Zombieland, great sad in Messenger. Harrlson plays crocked eyed wild in both but his crying scene in the later is one of the best dude crying scene in recent memory.
  13. Jason Cope in District 9–If only the movie was as good as the performance.
  14. Samantha Morton in The Messenger–One of the best actresses working. What baffles me is how few talked about how good she was in this film.
  15. Bill Murry in Zombieland and Limits of Control–Most leading performance did not contain as much brilliance as Murray’s five or so minute scenes in these two movies.
  16. Nick Cage in Knowing and Bad Leutenent–A laughable actor in two laughably good films. Bad Lt. specifically figured out Cage in a way few films have.
  17. Paul Schneider in Bright Star
  18. Abbie Cornish in Bright Star ?
  19. Mimi Kennedy in In the Loop
  20. Jeffery Dean Morgan in Watchmen

Cinematography

  1. Javier Aguirresarobe, The Road
  2. Anthony Dod Mantle, Antichrist (hereby forgiven for being the DP on Slumdog)
  3. Bruno Delbonnel, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
  4. Joaquin Baca0-Asay, Two Lovers
  5. Robert Richardson, Inglourious Basterds
  6. Roger Deakins, A Serious Man

Best and/or Most Iconic Lines

  1. “I can’t stand to see a woman bleed from the mouth. It reminds me of that Country and Western music which I cannot abide.” In the Loop
  2. “Chaos reigns.” Antichrist
  3. “Wait for the crème.” Inglorous Basterds
  4. “You don’t speak Spanish, do you?” Limits of Control
  5. “My name is Shosanna Dreyfus and THIS is the face of Jewish vengeance!” Inglorous Basterds
  6. “I failed John Keats. I did not know until now how tightly he wound himself around my heart.” Bright Star (that line gets me every time)
  7. “What are these fucking iguanas doing on my coffee table!” Bad Lieutenant
  8. “I can’t say enough times, whatever love you can get and give, whatever happiness you can filch or provide, every temporary measure of grace, whatever works.” Whatever Works
  9. “Goddamn it, Bill fucking Murray!” Zombieland
  10. “His soul is dancing.” Bad Lieutenant
  11. “Is Doc Miles gonna have to choke a bitch?” Crank: High Voltage
  12. “Are you mad that you died at the end of Die Hard?” Funny People
  13. And this one from A Serious Man…

Larry Gopnik: So, uh, what can I do for you?
Clive Park: Uh, Dr. Gopnik, I believe the results of physics mid-term were unjust.
Larry Gopnik: Uh-huh, how so?
Clive Park: I received an unsatisfactory grade. In fact: F, the failing grade.
Larry Gopnik: Uh, yes. You failed the mid-term. That’s accurate.
Clive Park: Yes, but this is not just. I was unaware to be examined on the mathematics.
Larry Gopnik: Well, you can’t do physics without mathematics, really, can you?
Clive Park: If I receive failing grade I lose my scholarship, and feel shame. I understand the physics. I understand the dead cat.
Larry Gopnik: You understand the dead cat? But… you… you can’t really understand the physics without understanding the math. The math tells how it really works. That’s the real thing; the stories I give you in class are just illustrative; they’re like, fables, say, to help give you a picture. An imperfect model. I mean – even I don’t understand the dead cat. The math is how it really works.
Clive Park: Very difficult… very difficult…
Larry Gopnik: Well, I… I’m sorry, but I… what do you propose?
Clive Park: Passing grade.
Larry Gopnik: No no, I…
Clive Park: Or perhaps I can take the mid-term again. Now I know it covers mathematics.
Larry Gopnik: Well, the other students wouldn’t like that, would they, if one student gets to retake the test till he gets a grade he likes?
Clive Park: Secret test.
Larry Gopnik: No, I’m afraid…
Clive Park: Hush-hush.
Larry Gopnik: No, that’s just not workable. I’m afraid we’ll just have to bite the bullet on this thing, Clive, and…
Clive Park: Very troubling… very troubling…

Music

  1. Clint Mansell, Moon (one of the best composers around)
  2. Hanz Zimmer, Sherlock Holmes(Hanz is back!)
  3. Christopher Young, Drag me to Hell
  4. Nick Cave and Warren Ellis, The Road
  5. Joe Hisaishi, Ponyo
  6. Abel Krozeniowski, A Single Man (see, it’s possible to sound like Phillip Glass w/o being as annoying as him)
  7. Mike Patton, Crank: High Voltage
  8. Michael Giacchino, Star Trek (much, much better than his Up score)
Editing
  1. Mark Jakubowicz and Fernando Villena, Crank: High Voltage
  2. Sally Menke, Inglourious Basterds
  3. Anders Refn, Antichrist
  4. Jon Gregory, The Road
  5. Ant Boys (real name?) and Billy Sneddon, In the Loop

Best Set Piece
Pretty much any sequence in Hurt Lucker.
The bar scene in Basterds which is not even really a set piece… which is why it’s such a good set piece!

Best Nekkedness
That girl in Jarmish’s Limits of Control that was naked for like the whole movie!

Liam Neeson from Taken vs. Jason Stathem from Crank
I can’t, I can’t, it’s like choosing between my two (really buffy) kids. Okay, Chev wins the fight but only because he can’t really be killed.

Best Horror
Antichrist, best of the year, which makes it two years in a row for the horror genre.
Best Vampire Movie: Thirst
Best Zombie Movie: Zombieland

Best Sci-fi
The Box and Knowing

Funniest Movie
In the Loop

Best TV Movie
Caprica… long live the new/old flesh!

Best 3D Movie
Still not Avatar so Coraline it is!

Best Ensemble Performance

  • Basterds–Pitt, Waltz, Lorrent etc.
  • Moon (not New Moon!)–Rockwell, Rockwell, Rockwell and Robot.
  • Bright Star–Cornish, Winshaw, Snyder, Fox.

Best Non-Human Performance

  • Kevin Spacey in Moon. Robot.
  • Jason Schwartzman in Fantastic Mr. Fox. Fox (better in clay than he was in flesh in Funny People)
  • Up‘s talking dog. Dog.
  • Jim Carrey in Christmas Carol. Um, human.
  • Dakota Fanning as Coraline.

Best Video Game Performance/Voice Acting

  • Nolan North in Uncharted 2
  • Mark Hamill in Batman Arkham Asylum
  • Cammy in Street Fighter IV (not good, just like looking at  the booty)

Finally, check later in the week for the final installment if the best, before I get to the worst that is.

1. Antichrist
Director: Lars von Trier

This film reminds me of Dante’s famous quote ”Abandon all hope, ye who enter here” about his fictional descent into hell. His character had it easy. In what became far and away the most original (and hated) movie of 2009, “Antichrist” established its own rules, created it’s own visual discourse and pissed off just about anyone who watched it in the process. This film divided to a point of anarchy, proving to me that some of the worst films of all time are, to others, some of the best and most interesting. It can be called a lot of things: the worst film of the year, torture porn, misogynistic, an art house version of “Saw,” “The Shining” on acid and even perhaps just a string of curse words. Okay, so I made all that up up but at the top of the list of things I would call “Antichrist” is the best film of the year.

Set in the aftermathof the accidental death of their child, “Antichrist” features just two characters (“He” and “She”) as they experience the stages of loss that include grief, pain and despair. In an effort to be “normal” again they head to the archetypal site of the fallow woman’s fears, the woods, a place in the middle of nowhere or, perhaps, middle of everywhere if you were to take the philosophical approach that these two characters are removing themselves from civilization to a cabin called Eden. This is a staggering and absurd work of dissonant visual poetry that pompously wages nothing less than the true nature of mankind and questions his/her place in “Eden.” The sinister beauty of nature certainly provokes strong emotions and the film’s heightened sense of formalism is a contentious matter of film geek debate. Some find the stylistic oddities unnerving and mean while other are inspired by the aggressively bold stance writer/director Lars vonTrier takes. Though the haters seem to outnumber the lovers by a large margin, the lovers love it by a larger margin. This is a film worth fighting over and while I feel the love I also understand where the hate comes from (this film is ridiculous) but at the same time hope that the anti-Antichristers understand that the film was made to provoke us into an feverish hatred of ourselves, others, the film we’re watching and most importantly the person behind the movie who wants us to hate all of the above. To hate it, in other words, is to validate its reason for existing. That alone does not make it any better but the goal here is to get past objective feelings of hate or love to arrive at some sort of truth in the object of art. That’s what “Antichrist” is all about and, really, that’s what movies are about.

Having never been a huge fan of Lars von Trier, this is the film where I feel he finally arrived director of tangible substance. In the past he effectively hid behind his own self-amused experiments and ironic melodramas but emphatically buries the “realism” of that pre and post-Dogme. “Antichrist” backs up its dark themes, subjects and symbols with a unique aesthetic approach that one can look at and debate until the end of cinema itself which can’t be too far off. I found this transcendentally down and dirty experience to be anything but cold, sexist or nihilistic as politically correct critics are quick to point out in an effort to discredit this movie. Another common slam is the (mis)reading that “Antichrist” is nothing more than a misogynistic battle of the sexes where the probing and rape-like intellect of man (Willem Dafoe–is there a better or more beautifully angular face in the movies today?) brutalizes the atavistic irrationality of woman (the bony perfection of Charlotte Gainsborough). Sure that’s one level of what’s going on but that is also a naive and reductionist reading that fails to take into account the notion that this is a film about artificial divisions that we make. Mankind’s arrogant assumption that “nature is Satan’s church” or that s/he is separate from or better than nature is what ultimately leads to the decay of what makes us human in the first place. Through the filter of horror of all things this film captures the existential pain of our banishment from Eden by returning us there and showing us how far we’ve fallen. In regards to gender issues as well as the man vs. nature theme, the film disavows dividing traits in it’s thesis that nature –the ugly side as well as the beautiful– is in man just as man is in woman (sometimes literally) and vice versa. To resist nature and to resist our nature is to kill it. The final, bleak summation that “chaos reigns” in the end makes the appropriately titled “Antichrist” the most disturbing film about the dark side of humanity ever made. Also the most howlingly ridiculous considering that bit of wisdom is coming from a talking fox that just ate its own tail.


2. Two Lovers 
Director: James Grey
Continuing the trend of tortured relationships, “Two Lovers” boasts two separate dysfunctional romances for the price of one! This is a profound work from one of America’s greatest and most underrated filmmakers, James Grey. “Two Lovers” is at once classic filmmaking/storytelling that recalls the great romances of the 50s and 70s and yet totally fresh in its approach to the genre through its dark tones, heavy technical mastery (romances are never this well made) and uniquely neurotic outlook that adds layers of meaning to a story that features real adults and real complexities. Grey is a director that previously worked in one genre, crime, and did it well, but here shows his true colors as a hopeless and helpless romantic. It’s his best work to date and that’s saying something because 2008′s “We Own the Night” is one of the decade’s best. The film got swept under the rug thanks to the hobo looking Joaquin Phoenix’s bizarre antics but lets face it, the real problem was the general impossibility to market an American romantic film that doesn’t appeal to US Weekly readers. The title is pretty much exactly what the film is about but if neither of those “two lovers” are Sandra Bullock why should we care? Romance is a crippled genre that was able to stand on its own two legs for a brief moment before it was brushed aside. I would bet anything that “Two Lovers” will be discovered in the years to come because it has to. A film this good, this well made, this human and this touching can’t go unnoticed, it just can’t. From the performances (Phoenix, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Vanessa Shaw), to the cinematography and right on down to the subtly brilliant sound design (rain, thunder and fish tanks!) that puts you in Leonard’s bipolar and love struck world, “Two Lovers” is the best genuine love story I’ve seen in years, maybe ever, and the best American movie of the year.


3. Inglourous Basterds
Director: Quentin Tarentino

Tarentinoowned the 90s and set himself loose on the 00s with, in the words of his Bible quoting character, “great vengeance and furious anger.” After he worked up the nerve to return to movies post “Jackie Brown” and got the revenge epic “Kill Bill” as well as that little road trip revenge movie (… that people don’t like to talk about) out of the system, QT turned to this inwardly epic WWII fantasy story about (but not really) a band of Nazi hunting Jews seeking, you guessed it, revenge. To call it a brilliant piece of filmmaking would not do it justice because, more than anything, it is a brave piece of filmmaking. Brilliant because of what it is and brave because of what it does or, rather, what it does not do. While the renegade basterds are a bat wielding force that “the Germans will talk about” and “fear,” “Inglourous Basterds” is not a typical “war movie” and it is not the revenge movie that “Kill Bill” or “Death Proof” are.

Forget about the fact that the film contains the unstoppable Basterds and not one but two separate (and simultaneous!) plots to overthrow Hitler (a brilliant plot detail by the way), all the pivotal moments contain nothing more than a few characters talking to each other at a table. From the masterful opening scene set in a farm to the subtle but hair raising strudel scene where the theater owning Jewish girl hiding in the farm is now being interviewed by her family’s killer to host Hitler movie night, to the tense (and wickedly extended to De Palma-size proportions) bar sequence to, finally, the moment of ultimate truth/truce where a discussion between the great Jew Hunter (Christoph Waltz) and lead basterd Brad rewrites the course of the modern (fake) history. Here’s the genus: more than guns, dynamite, the Jew Hunter’s choking hand or even Brad Pitt’s big ass knife that he uses to carve a swastikas on the foreheads of Germans so that they can forever bear the mark of their evil, Tarentino’s weapon of choice is the explosive power of celluloid and transformative nature of cultural and ideological discourse. In Tarentino’s universe, film itself is the catalysis that changes world events by literally transforming its audience. Film canisters set the world on fire while the theater holds us all trapped but riveted. Now there’s an alternate universe I would much rather live than the one we’re stuck in.

4. Thirst
Director: Chan Wook Park
Vampires are big and this film could care less. Similar to my number one film of 2008, this gorgeous anti-love story (another “Bad Romance”  makes the list!) rewrites the vampire movie rules of narrativity, myth making and visual presentation. In a world dominated by brain dead “Twilight” fans, “Thirst” madeliving in a vampire-centric culture a little easier in 2009. It blazes on with a blatant disregard for fluffy vampire lore and sparkling heroes. Directed by Chan-wook Park (he of  the Vengeance Trilogy fame), “Thirst” is a perverse morality tale about a priest, the always great Kang-ho Song, who gets infected by this “virus” while on a pilgrimage, becomes a religious icon in his country, looses faithin God, grows bored withthe prospect of eternal life, falls in love with a girl and infects her, creating a(nother) monster in the process. He spends the rest of the movie in a Russian-lit version of hell, which is before that literal hell he may soon face at the hands of an angry God he’s not even sure (or cares) exists anymore. Forget puffy shirts and Tom Cruise, this is what it means to be a vampire folks! This is not only a smart genre movie but one of the craftier explorations of religion and perdition I’ve ever come across. In other words “Thirst” is not something that could ever have been made in America.

5. In the Loop
Director: Armando Iannucci
What’s so good about “In the Loop?” Besides everything? Okay, how about dialogue that spews as much gold as it does bile “I can’t stand to see a woman bleed from the mouth. It reminds me of that Country & Western music which I cannot abide.”  How about editing that is fast as it is funny–a mock doc without the winks. How about the f-star-star-star-ing pitch perfect performances by Tom “climb the mountain of conflict” Hollander, Mimi “mouth bleeder” Kennedy, Tony Soprano and the scene/movie stealing Peter Capald-fucking-i? Imagine “Dr. Strangelove’s” satire with the UK’s “The Office” style and some meta-doc “Tristram Shandy-isms” thrown in.

“Loop” captures the feeling of being a little fish in a big, nasty, oil covered pond full of sharks (republicans), leaches (the media) and toothless bottom feeders (liberals… AND the English). “Loop” mocks/attacks all sides, showing the absurdly pathetic situation British-era politicians and policymakers faced when trying to buddy up to Americans in the time just before an entire war was invented from thin air. The feeling that these people are running around trying to get in this “loop,” which is inhabited by idiots screaming at each other, is ridiculous because the loop is just that, an insulated circle with no on-ramps or pauses for logic, reason or public interest to enter. Unlike political comedies like “Charley Wilson’s War” or “Wag the Dog” this film never wavers in its realism and yet also never hammers you with it. Taking satire to a new level, “Loop” is fun, then funny then sad when you realize that the humor is not that far fetched.

6. The Road
Director: James Hillcoat
The following really needs bold lettering: THE ROAD IS UNDERRATED. This film is as plain spoken and beautiful as the Cormac McCarthy novel that spawned it. Maybe modesty is why so few noticed this exceptional and sadly overlooked 09 film. “The Road” is special because it takes a serious look at the fall of man. This is not an action or science fiction or even fantasy movie, it is simply the single most important work in the apocalypse genre. A film that does not demand to be taken seriously, but should. The world has moved on and what it has moved on to, in the words of McCarthy, “cannot be made right again.” 
The economy of “The Road” is something to be marveled at because everything we see fits into this barren world. The vegetation is withered and browning and when the corpse of trees fall to the we realize that the trees did not just die but they have been dead for a long long time and their fall. That feeling of nature inevitable last gasp carries over into ever aspect. The world is not dying it is dead and mankind’s last survivors, what few there are left, find themselves witness to Earth’s quietly dwindling epilogue. The film captures hopelessness in ways even the great book can’t quite offer because we are SEEING what had happened to the earth and what is happening to humanity. Viggo Mortensenplays a man withno name who exists to ensure the survival of a son with no name in a world where allowing the young an innocent to survive may ultimately be a curse more than a blessing. Yet he persists and isn’t that’s the whole point? His performance is… right. Possessing the perfect image of a Great Depression era face set in this even greater depression, every line in Viggo’s face and smudge of dirt on his skin is as well worn as it is weary. And when he speaks, it’s poignant but never pompous. “If he is not the word of God, God never spoke” the man says of his son, whom the father is simply trying to raise to be “good” in a place where such moral qualifiers have lost their meaning. That is if those words ever really had meaning because for all the “good” in man look where it got them.

 

7. The Hurt Locker 
Director: Kathryn Bigelow
I never get tired of saying how much I hate Iraq war movies. I HATE IRAQ MOVIES. Ah, so refreshing, it just rolls off the tongue doesn’t it? “The Hurt Locker,” a film that looked like just another Iraq 2 drama, single handily made me think twice before dismissing this genre. Then I saw “Brothers” and went back to hating it. Oh well. I saw the film over a year ago and, by now, everybody knows it. Sure this isn’t the “best” film of the year but whatever flaws there may be in the narrative structure are commendable if you consider this film’s jagged, nearly episodic sequences as an extension of the fragmented lead played so well by Jeremy Renner who should have won the Oscar (sorry Bridges). Renner’s Sgt. William James is one of the more interesting war characters I’ve ever come across because, as many have noted by now, he feeds off the discord rather than whines about it. We may not understand the war but after watching we do understand why he would want to go back. It’s a drug and the bombs James diffuses work as a handy metaphor for the male ego as well as the entire FUBAR situation we find ourselves in “over there.” 
What I respect most about “Hurt Locker” is its ability to takes us unto the sandy trenches and come out without a agenda or slant. It’s not anti or pro war, it’s just war. Even if you’re against this war “Hurt Locker” will endure beyond “Brothers” and “Stop Loss” and “Redacted” and “Greenzone” and all those shame on usdocumentaries because it removes itself from judgment and, thus, seems to have more integrity. The wonderful filmmaking by Bigelow (happy to say that I’ve been a fan since “Strange Days”) may be big and loud but the screenplay is contemplative, subtle and barley even there and the two styles make for a perfect marriage (unlike Bigelow and James Cameron hehe). After it’s big Oscar run K-Big should really make an Afghanistan-set sequel. She can even take her time making it because we’re going to be there for a while.

8. The Box
Director: Richard Kelly
If you ask me who the best new directors of the last decade is –or was– I would point to Richard Kelly as someone who should make the list. If you then laughed at me I would cite “Donnie Darko” then recommend you watch or rewatch “Southland Tales” and give his latest film, “The Box,” a shot. If you still laughed I would tell you to enjoy your Zach fucking Snyder films and walk away in total defeat. But, yeah, Richard Kelly………. Richard fucking Kelly. Three films in and I’m wondering why we don’t pay more attention to this mainstream cult filmmaker. In each meticulously made project, one thought always comes to me: “What……. is….. going on?” For some that’s why his film suck and for others it’s why they’re so good. Eschewing the modernist impulses of “Southland Tales,” a brilliant flop of a project that must of exhausted him, Kelly returns to intimate mystery while adding the assured bravado of a modern Hitchcock. This is like a Hollywood-er version of “MulhollandDr.” (mystery boxes!) and “Lost Highway” (suburban murders go down while creepy dudes visit your house with absurd proposals and deadpan whispers of ”I’m looking at youright now”) meets one of the twistier moral scenario seen in “The Twilight Zone” (push a button = someone dies = you get a million dollars). Equal to those stories, “The Box” evokes a striking end-of-the-world-ish sci-fi doom and gloom scenario that brilliantly ties the fate of the world to the morals of it’s inhabitants. ::Sigh:: when it comes to the end of the world plots people picked the bluntness of “2012″ over the strange subtle qualities of “The Box.” I could go on describing the movie but think back to “Darko” and ask yourself if any description would do the film justice? Like “Darko,” this film made no money and like “Darko,” it may find a small but loyal following willing to “walk into the light.”

9. White Ribbon
Director: Michael Heneke
You could watch “White Ribbon” and mistake it for a lost classic of the new wave German cinema made in the 60s through the 80s. Except it’s not lost, it’s modern and made by Michael Heneke, one of the world’s greatest pessimists; a director that, like von Trier, is not only unafraid to sow the seeds of discord but gleeful about doing so. The film, a brilliant anti-teutonic counterpart to “Inglourous Basterds,” offers a harsh de-glorification of pre-war Germany. As much of a nationalistic cautionary tale as it is an intimate drama, the specific theme or thesis of the disturbing film is left deliberately murky. Instead, Haneke offers more of a mood than a theme as the slowly unfolding events in this small town parable play out foreshadowing, of course, the torn, divided and ultimately ruined Germany that is to come. But that’s just the context. At the heart of things, this appropriately black-and-white film is a brooding mystery about sins of the father(s), who are careless and cruel, and the sins of their offspring. The little basterds in this film could hold their own against those in Heneke’s”Funny Games,” ”Cache” or just about any one of his creepy-kid movies. Containing very little plot in the traditional sense of the word, “White Ribbon” moves at a glaciers and is shot with deliberate distance and space. The approach allows for an atmosphere that builds and builds and builds and, by the end, festers into something really ugly. It is a truly wonderful piece of filmmaking that evokes the iciness of Bergman and social malefice of Aurthur Miller’s “The Crucible.”

10. Ponyo
Director: Hayo Miyazaki
“Ponyo” has a way of washing over you like a warm current in the dark sea of life. He may have done better but, really, that’s a relative notion when you’re dealing with Hayo Miyazaki. Miyazaki’s latest and hopefully not last children’s film is a treasure that captures a dreamlike wonder and innocence of childhood. ”Ponyo” does not tread new ground for both Miyazaki(this is a Japanese “Little Mermaid” after all) or ecological message movies (it’s more imaginative than “Avatar” though) but it makes up for its lack of innovation with a wealth of dedication to the craft of non-ironic storytelling. The reigning animation master’s brilliance is actually getting old so I can see why “Ponyo” slipped through the cracks because his brilliant “Howl’s Moving Castle” suffered a similar fate few years back and that film is as awesome as they come! Like a lot of the under performing films on this list, this modest little gem would rather endure than cash-in. Recalling the opening shots of this movie where a ocean full of strange and wonderful life co-exist in a soup of marvelous creature creations, Miyazaki sets the stage for a young marine girl’s strange and scary adventure on dry land. She wants to become human and, in turn, we feel human while watching her story. This movie gives its viewer a world that feels loved and fully inhabited. I saw a fair amount of animated films in 2009 and none came the slightest bit close to matching “Ponyo’s” charm. Especially Pixar’s “Up,” a film so forced you can practically feel the balloons popping under the stress. Ponyo’s” serene, sea-set pleasures are unassuming and unsoliciting of our affection. It exists in a natural state of wonder and cuteness.

Alternate Top 10

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
Director: Werner Herzog

  


Another “Bad Lieutenant?!” Who would have though? Who could have? Herzog, only Herzog! It’s hard to describe this movie. I’ll try, but I’ll fail. This is not a remake and its not a sequel or a prequel to the 1990s film of the same name starring Harvey Keitel, Nicholas Cage’s “National Treasure” co-star. It is its ts own beast, a totally original re-envisioning (for lack of a better word) of a film nobody asked to be made in the first place. Having seen far too many lame remakes/reboots I feel this is exactly the kind of film that should be re-made! Besides, one doesn’t cash-in with “Bad Lieutenant” because… where’s the cash? The fact that this was made means it was made for a reason. I say that because Werner Herzog is behind it. For those who don’t know, and shame on you if you don’t, Herzog is a gritty auteur who happens to be one of the most fascinating directors working today because he has figured out a way to make films for himself as much as he makes them for  Hollywood (“Rescue Dawn” was his last). 
As wired as cat in heat and as sleeplessly bug eyed as a lizard, the film stars Nicholas Cage as a dirty, drug addicted cop. Now, Cage playing a cop under totally “normal” circumstances would be an exercise in overacting theatrics (ahem, “Face/Off”) but add heavy drugs, severe back pain, corruption and sexual compulsion and you have a potential acting disaster on par with “Wicker Man,” another cop performance. Instead, the crazy of Cage and craz(ier) of Herzog cancel each other out, yielding something improbably good. The clips above and below are my gift to you and if they don’t make you want to see this movie then you might just be too well-adjusted to watch. Hunchback, wild eyed, screaming, and laughing through every scene, this is a remarkable collision of Cage’s tension and Herzog’screativity. They are so good together that there almost doesn’t even need to be a scrip. And there practically isn’t. The performance is exceptional because I laughed at it withthe awareness in the back of my mind that what I’m laughing at is not entirely a joke (it shares that quality with”Antichrist”); there’s something genuine going on here. Same with the film. It has an unmistakable 90s aesthetic in the way it is shot, the quality of the shoot and the pacing. Did Herzog do that to pay homage to the original? Who knows? All I do know is that Herzog’s quirky indulgences (tons random shots of reptiles for instance makes for a truly wacky, only-in-Herzoglandmetaphor for the kind of people we’re dealing with) make this the best cop movie since “Kiss, Kiss Bang, Bang.”

okay, two more clips (I just can’t get enough)

A Serious Man
Director: Joel and Ethan Coen
…yet not as serious as one would think given the subject matter. Jews in Michigan in the 1960s. You can imagine. Except you can’t because you don’t think like the Coens. I cannot recall laughing this much at such a depressing film. ”A Serious Man” is about an even-tempered professor (Michael Stuhlbarg, the discovery of the year) whose life goes from bad to worse to down right ridiculous. Things fall apart in every way possible to a point of near divine intervention–its almost as if God has chosen this man to fuck with. All this character can do is… react. To people, to chance and to his own steadily declining nerves. The film takes the narrative causality of one of the Coen’s beloved crime movies like “Blood Simple” or “No Country” where the protagonist makes a bad moral choice at the beginning of the film and then everything after goes wrong from him in the karmic and physical sense. The difference is there’s no crime here, just minuscule choices that people make that shifts the tides of their life. The cruel joke is that others seem impervious to the fickle hand of fate. Everyone except for the marvelously creepy guy (Fred Melamed) who steals his wife away in the most humorously condescending way possible; “let’s just step back, and defuse the situation. I find, sometimes, if I count to ten… one… two… three… faw… or silently…        …          …          …”
This is the Coen’smost philosophically fertile film to date, which is saying a lot coming off of “No Country For Old Men.” Like that movie, the unmoving and seemingly illogical hand of fate becomes crossed with, or perhaps tangled to, forces of randomness. All of which are energized with the mystical forces of cabala, Judaism and vintage Coen wit and mockery. They really should create their own Church at this point. I would totally join. 
I get the sense that this is one of those rare times where the Coen’s are not mocking their protagonist. They haven’t really liked one of their protagonists since “Fargo.” Okay, also The Dude because who doesn’t like The Dude. “A Serious Man” has been called the Coen’s most personal film to date and I would go one step beyond that to call it their most real film. Real is a much better word, too, because I’m not so sure the directors are capable of being “personal” because that would require a person. These filmmakers are clearly not of this earth. They are studying us and they are laughing at us. The irony is that within the alien community they’re still probably considered weird.


Summer Hours
Director: Olivier Assayas

How do you sum up a person’s life? One way is by looking at all the crap they left behind. “Summer Hours” does that but –unlike my choice of words– in the most eloquent way possible. It is a leisurely meditation on lives lived and lives in the living; the passing of an old era is not really a passing at all but a ghostly merging with the collective now. In the least sentimental way possible (thank god) the film is about a old woman with a rich history who passes on and leaves her house and art collection behind for relatives to pick over. There are three distinct acts. The film opens strongly with a bittersweet family get-together, spends its middle chunk detailing the organizational and financial and, oh yeah, emotional aftermath of death (I loved the scene where the kids pass through the house with appraisers, picking at these things of great value that spiritually mean nothing to them anymore) and ends, perfectly if I may say, with the children of the children having a party in the now empty estate. They are innocent and possess very little awareness of the shared connections. But it’s there, and we feel it. They will die too the film seems to be saying in the most optimistic way possible. This film is not mean or sad or funny or one of those bullshit “Big Chill” celebration of lifestories. It’s also not cold or overly analytical. Instead I would just say that it’s a very natural effort from Olivier Assayas (“Irma Vep,” “Demon Lover”), who, by not showing off for the first time, has made his best film yet.

Crank: High Voltage  
Director:
Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor
“Juice me!” That line, or some variation of it, is spoken often. Jason Stathem, the speaker, growls lines such as that like roidedout Energizer Bunny with a really good sense of humor. So, okay, this is a total indulgence pick on my part; every year I seem to stumble across a fantastic film that happens to be viewed as nothing more than shallow commercial entertainment. For most, though, calling “Crank 2″ “entertainment” in any capacity is a kind act as it was generally disliked/dismissed by critics and unamused audiences who didn’t quite know what to make of it. Like the character that fuels it’s cinematic combustion engine, this action/fantasy/comedy is a thing of pure energy. It is also the most wildly fetishistic, male body worshiping hyperbole since Arnold walked into “Terminator” as naked as a baby. It works as a very clever action parody that went over everyone’s head. Or not as it’s remains unclear if I see more in the series than others do or if others don’t see enough. Like his action predecessors, Stathemgets ripped beyond belief but unlike them he takes his battery charged and literally heartless body through a plot beyond belief, finding time for sex, drugs and a full fledged/full sized Godzilla style battle with the man that stole his heart. Not in the gay way either, his actual heart.

Anvil!: The Story of Anvil 
Director: Sacha Gervasi

The best documentary I’ve seen since “Grizzly Man” (made by the above filmmaker). In the commentary for “Anvil!,” the director proudly stated that Michel Gondrygives this movie to his actors and demands they watch it. There is more truthin it, he tells them, than anything you could possibly script out. That’s such a good point that I’ll try my best to forget that he must have given his actors that advice on the set of “Green Hornet.” This film is like lightening caught in a bottle. It’s so perfect that I can’t believe it exists the way it does. Shots and scenarios play out with such a pitch-perfect blend of pathos and comedy that it feels like a modern retelling of “Spinal Tap” right down to quirky characters, long hair and Stonehenge imagery. But this is not a put-on for the exact reason Gondrysays, you just can’t make this shit up! There is a moment where the aging, stringy hair rockers (down on their luck Canadian metal rocking Jews) are on a European tour that includes stops at clubs with two people to promote an album that those two people probably didn’t even buy. The band shows up in their own grungy van and do a set only to find out that their gig check (probably for about $10 bucks) was taken away because they showed up late. The owner, instead, decides to pay them in borscht. As the lead singer known as Lips (a truly wonderful character person) screams his “fuck you, man” anthems at the shady owner, spit flying out of his mouth in the process, the rest of the band can be seen in the back of the shot slurping up the slop with a look of utter metal-head defeat on their faces. It’s hilarious, its heartbreaking, it’s “Anvil!” Rock on!

Knowing
Director: Alex Proyas
Another Nic Cage movie made the list?! Go ahead, laugh, I did too until I sat back and thought about the effect this movie had on me. Cage fires on all hammy cylinders in a Saturday night supernatural thriller that, on the surface, looks like just another Cage paycheck. And it is! Except sometimes Cage accidentally manages to cash-in on a good movie. This year he did so on two which may never happen again. “Knowing” is a powerful sci-fi fantasy that takes the end-of-the-world subgenre to one of the most interesting places I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen it all except for “Beach Party at the Threshold of Hell” which is totally on my Netflixqueue. Though his films are not well regarded outside of a Roger Ebert review, the underrated director of films like “I, Robot” and “Dark City,” Alex Proyas, is actually one of the best big budget directors around. Proyasis that rare sort of popular filmmaker that figured out how to make his films visually interesting while doing the same thing with his stories. The pacing is remarkably effective because when the number-fixated conspiracies get old, Proyas does what a film like “2012″ couldn’t, he changes direction so that suddenly we’re now watching a full on horror mystery and when that gets old Proyas goes all sci-fi on us. When that gets old… well, it doesn’t because the kind of sci-fi this film has to offer never gets old! Nobody would be blamed for not seeing this silly looking movie, many however will be rewarded for taking a chance on it.

You, The Living
Director: Roy Anderrson
Life sucks. It’s a miserable, meaningless void that signifies nothing other than our misfortune to be alive and stuck with each other. Lets laugh about it! “You, the Living” features a string of vaguely connected vignettes covering the most extraordinary quirky of topics and finding deadpan humor in the most random places. Swedish director Roy Anderrson is not just throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks, he links together one magnificent scenario after anotherin an effort to dispel misery while wallowing in it. The title lays out the tone perfectly. It’s YOU, the living, not US the living and with this the director seems to be channeling from somewhere beyond subjective human experiences. In this film you will find trombone jam sessions, tortured dogs, suicide, drunks, crying –lots of crying– sex withemaciated trombone players, death, traffic jams (a shout-out to his masterful “Songs From the Second Floor”), direct address monologues, a larger emphasis on nightmares than I expected, judges chugging beer and dishing out the electric chair during court, people crammed like sardines in tight places like bus stops and elevators, Nazi tabletops, and enough generally weird shit to put the entire Japanese entertainment industry to shame. The miracle is that by the end you will not feel depressed. Somehow, Anderrsonpulls it off. Scenes play out with great humor (most are set up like a joke, punch-line and all) and an even better sense of composition. Anderrson is a director of singular importance and originality. He masters his craft not through traditional narratives, sunny dispositions or any editing to speak of. His camera sits and watches while you watch characters watch you watching the watching camera. Sure time flies when you’re having fun but this film is living proof that it flies by a lot faster when you’re going “what the fuck?”

Bright Star
Director: Jane Campion
Here is penance for all the dark love stories I saw and loved in 2009 even though, if you think about it, “Bright Star” is just as dark if not darker than them. I put off watching “Bright Star” until the last minute. And can you blame me? It’s a movie about the late love/early death of poet John Keats madeby the director of “The Piano.” “Crank 2″ this is not. I’ll say it now and say it loud: I, along with so many others, were wrong to not want to see and embrace this beautiful movie. Possessing the same timeless qualities as Keats’ poetry, you could watch “Bright Star” fifty years from now and find yourself just as moved by it as if you saw it at the Cannes premiere. The film is about the ever so short relationship between the poor poet (the unwashed-as-always Ben Whishaw) and Fanny Brawne (Abbie Cornish, a rare beauty whose rounded features are impossible to look away from–not only am I in love but I totally got Ryan Phillipe’s back now). The film is also about the artistic process. Keats and his adorably acerbic writing partner Charles ArmitageBrown (an out of left field Paul Schneider who steals the movie with his alluring Scottish accent and stinging irony) sit around, discuss words and “ruminate” which is another way of saying doing nothing–poets were definitely the 19th century equivalent to being in a rock band. This is one of the best films ever made about an artist and “the woman who inspired him.” Campion is too smart to resort to biopic clichés (no constant reminders that this unsung figure is going to be famous one day), period movie blunders (either trying to over dramatize a famous relationship as “The Young Victoria” did or underplaying things to a point of suicidal boredom as Campionherself did with “Portrait of a Lady”) or romantic hyperbole (the agonizing trope of making the muse the primary creative agent a la “Copying Beethoven”). She’s also not out to make this pure yet short lived relationship something of a tragedy (though Keats is pretty emo even before “the sickness”). Campion’s skills as a storyteller first and filmmaker second really shine here. She knows when to hold a shot and when to cut, she knows when and what dialogue is appropriate and when silence accomplishes just a much.

Beaches of the Agnes
Director: Agnes Varda
“What is cinema?…. Light coming from somewhere.” I can’t think of a better documentary for French film lovers! If only every director made a film about themselves. If only every director were as interesting as Varda. Realizing, and wisely so, that objective “reality” is impossible, director Agnes Vardadoes something much better with this most personal of films. She reflects reality through the sandy mirrors of the cinema. Looking like the grandmum from “Triplets of Belleville” I watched this self-made reassemblageof the New Wave legend’s life with a unwavering smile. Like “Summer Hours,” this is a leisurely stroll through the corridors of someone’s life. In that sense, it’s not positioned to be some grand or pretentious statement but a much earned bout of super self reflective filmmaking that reminded me of Al Pacino’s documentary about the artistic process “Looking for Richard.” The abstract editing is particularly remarkable. When Varda says “the idea of fragmentation fascinates me” she intends to backs that up in this moving biography. Reenactments are staged to reflect various moments in Varda’s life, French history and, most importantly, French film history (the history of a nation is composed of the mired histories of individuals after all). This film’s depiction of history is so deliberately staged that the film effectively challenges fiction and non fiction conventions, two genres Vardahas worked in. I am usually distracted by this technique in documentaries but “Beaches” makes good use of its “theater” by simply calling attention to how artificial it can be much in the same way Fellini did with “8 1/2″ or some of his documentaries like “Roma.” By the end though Vardabecomes comfortable with being “my self” in front of the camera and this candidness is what really ends up making the film something special. With “Beaches” Vardareflects on the eternal nature of cinema by juxtaposing that magical quality with the fleeting nature of her own life. I never grew tired of her photography, her stories or her spirit. What a trippy self-tribute.

Moon
Director: Duncan Jones

“Moon” is visionary but a truly depressing feat of science fiction storytelling. Set in a space station, this one man show stars Sam Rockwell in a performance that put everything else to shame in 2009. Hell, even his robot companion, voiced by Kevin Spacey in his best performance since “The Usual Suspects,” outdoes most performances. “Moon” is a science fiction film for people who like the look, feel and doomed intimacy of something like “2001: A Space Odyssey” more than the hipster schlock of last year’s “Star Trek.” The one (crazy) man scenario also recalls the oddball charm of the sci-fi cult classics like “Silent Running” as well as, in the end, the surreal disturbances of Friedkin’s “Bug.” Yes, there was a time when science fiction experimented and took chances. Unlike it’s tragic Phantom of the Spacestationhero, “Moon” is free from corporate intervention and tampering.  The best thing “Moon” does is reminds us that budgets don’t make for good sci-fi movies, ideas do. This is a film I admire, not one that I like, and not one that I find easy to write about so I’ll move on to one I do…

Special Mention…

Drag Me To Hell
Director: Sam Raimi

Don’t get me wrong, I am a fan of Raimi, I’m just not a fan of Hollywood SAM RAIMI, the guy that directed those dreadful “Spider-Man” films. I derived practically no enjoyment out of his big budget escapades and that is strange principally because Raimi, at his core (and when he’s at his best) is one of the most purely enjoyable American filmmakers working today. I specify “America” because there’s nobody more fun to watch than Joe Wright. “Drag Me To Hell,” a fantastic horror comedy made in the goof-spook vein of “Evil Dead,” makes the list for that simple reason. It’s sense of fun is pure.

Still Walking
Director: Hirokazu Koreeda

“Still Walking” is about a family that reunites one weekend during a summer. This modest film by Hirokazu Koreeda (“Nobody Knows”), is very similar in plot, if not culture, to Assayas’ “Summer Hours.” It’s nonetheless a rewarding to see how two countries tackle a similar issue without resorting to melodrama. This wonderful little reflection on life, death and family history being passed down from one generation to another (to yet another: children) is told in the gloriously un-rushed sea set tradition of Yasujiro Ozu. Pretty much the only difference is that the returning son in this film will occasionally pick up his cell to receive a text message. Oh, and the story climates in an action  packed denouement where a cranky old father, his unloved son and his unloved son’s loved step son, walk to the beach… for five minutes… in silence. God, I  love these kinds of films. Issues from the past linger but don’t fester and are not always resolved. Bickering continues but never comes to a blow. Life moves on and sometimes people don’t/can’t/won’t change. Some lessons are learned, others are simply washed away by time while just a few are passed on such as sonss not making the same mistakes as their father. Here is a film not in a rush to say anything that ends up saying a whole lot.

Sherlock Holmes
Director: I can’t believe I’m writing this but, yes, Guy Ritchie
While it’s sad to see Holmes turned into an 1800s master of science “Iron Man” action hero, this modern retelling of the Holmes mythos managed to be both fun and daftly smart. It’s easy to make fun of Guy Ritchie at this point and hard to remember that, however arch and bullheaded he tends to be (Britain’s Michael Bay), he did make at least one good movie, “Snatch. Make that two good films! This time Ritchie doesn’t show off as much as he allows his character to show off for him. And he’s got the right man for the job. Robert Downey Jr. gives Holmes the Johnny Depp treatment and by that I mean he fully looses himself in this character, giving him a ton of idiosyncratic ticks and a real sense of obsession. As far from masterpiece theater as human can possibly be, Holmes a reclusive lout laying in filth and performing his OCD experiments on flies and dogs and himself until the “game is a foot” at which point he’s a scruffy, clue hunting hound dog. 
I particularly enjoyed how Ritchie is able to make Holmes an action hero but in such a way that’s somewhat true to his style. This is just the sort of take/update to the character that was needed to make him relevant again so quit your bitching and enjoy. The film, as well as Holmes, may be silly but he’s never dumb and the film actually values the mind over the muscle. When on the precipice of attack, for instance, the film freezes as Holmes internally calculates the best method of attack (figuring out the attacker is a drunk by the smell of booze on his breath, for instance, then applying a quick jab to his liver). After living in the great detective’s brain for a few moments the film will pop us back to real time as we see the chain of attacks Holmes laid out so neatly performed in an orgiastic flurry of intellect, sensuality and kinetic action. The film applies that same level of causality to Holmes’ power as a detective. A smudge of chalk on a shirt or speck of inc on an ear can basically sum up a character’s life story while something as small as a stain on a rat’s tail can lead Holmes to the source of his next clue. This happens a lot and Ritchie’s zippy style is quite good at visually representing Holmes’ methods with flash forwards/backs that almost match Edgar Wright (“Hot Fuzz,” “Shaun of the Dead”) in visual cleverness.

Taken
Director: Pierre Morel

Speaking of fun. This year’s “Gran Torino” ladies and gentlemen. There’s just something about watching grumpy old men kicking all kinds of ass that feels so damn satisfying these days. Liam Neeson, a retired CIA agent, is called back to “my old life” for a personal bout of vengeance and heads to Europe to kick the head in of every shit eating piece of Euro trash that may have had anything to do with his dumb ass bubbly daughter who dun got herself kidnapped and sold into white slavery like a bruised puppy. Hahahahaha!!!!!! This was one of the great guilty pleasures of the year for me right alongside KFC’s Kentucky Grilled Chicken except I don’t know which is more overcooked. Watching the angry American brnad his personal blend of Papa justice (not eye for an eye but eye for a head) upon the “bad guys” was a cathartic thrill as it arrived in an age where Americans are completely inept and powerless both abroad and in country. That the film is made by a Frenchmen and stars a giant elf of an Irishmen makes it an oddball role-playing inversion where the Euros get to imagine what it’s like being bossy, self-entitled Americans. You know what, they’re good at it. This twist gives the film an ever-so-subtle spin on the usual pro-American Hollywood hooey. But, really, I love “Taken” because, despite its total preposterousness, it ended up taken (haha) itself seriously. Maybe this is not a good thing but the film’s humorless sincerity combined with a “Death Wish” ideology reminded me of the good old days where bad asses like Arnold or Chuck (of the Bronson and/or Norris variety) would go into a room to save their daughter and not leave till the evil doers were rounded up, grounded up, and spit out and, hum, who are we forgetting, oh yeah, their daughters were sitting pretty atop their shoulders. God bless American violence.

Whatever Works
Director: Woody Allen

“Hollywood Ending,” “Melinda and Melinda,” “Anything Else” and last year’s under the radar “Whatever Works” are some of the least popular Woody Allen films of the decade and perhaps ever made. They also happen to be in on short list of the filmmaker’s most underrated works to date. Speaking of works, ”Whatever Works” finds Larry David doing more than just being Larry David. His persona here is Larry David by way of Woody Allen! Okay, not a huge leap but it’s a match made in non-Christian heaven. When it comes to Woody Allen I have taught myself not to listen to what other people, even Woody Allen fans, (especially Woody Allen fans) think about Woody Allen movies.

Dean Spanley
Director: Toa Fraser

“Dean Spanley” is really just about a father who has been estranged from his son. That alone would not be a reason to rank it here so I should elaborate. It’s about a father and son who are united by a friend named Dean (Sam Neill) who, as it seems, was a dog in a past life and will only talk about those “dog days” when under the influence of a rare wine previously reserved for Spanish royalty. Did I forget anything? Probably but at least I didn’t forget to put it on this list.

The Messenger
Director: Oren Moverman

This somber but simmering on the insidemodern war drama is about two messed up soldiers, Woody Harrilson and Sam Foster, who go around telling people their kids/husbands/baby mamma’s etc. have died in a stupid, pointless war. What a job. I like to think of “The Messenger” as “Up in the Air” for the non-retarded who hated “Up in the Air.” It tells you a story without making the characters into “gee, these are real Americans, lets sing their common praises.” It’s overwrought in a big way but not in a way I minded because the film is approaching tired material (soldier coming home from war, yada, yada, yada) witha sense of nobility a rare mood of outright anger at what’s going on overseas and here at home. “The Messenger” is great because it starts about these two men, one a former drunk (Woody Harrelson) and the other’s a current dick (Ben Foster), who don’t know each other but rather than being ALL about that, the film splinters off when Foster falls in love with one of his jobs, a single mom played by Samantha Morton. Once again the film avoids clichés here. Foster is good but the reay show stealer is Harrelson, who finds his most interesting character in years. His final scene is heartbreaking perfection and if there’s anyone other than Mr. Waltz I’d love to see get the Oscar this year it’s him. Plus he was in “Zombieland” so that’s pretty cool.

Pandorum
Director: Christian Alvart
This year saw an explosion of hot sci-fistories hit the scene. Very few were actually good. The first, “Pandorum,” is about two characters waking up in a space ship withno idea how they got there while other, the significantly more arty “Moon,” is about one person on a space station with no memory of his past. Both make the 09 list because they are amazing, visionary works but also to make a point. That point being that Hollywood is mainstreaming sci-fi to a point of generic dilution. These films take it back to its roots, one through grindhouse sci-fi nightmares and the other through art house dreams. The huge impact “Star Trek,” “District 9,” “Transformers 2″ and “Avatar” helped to give sci-fi its first genuine renaissance in years, decades maybe. I’m happy in a sense and sad in another. Happy for my favorite genre. Sad that my favorite genre is being watered down by clunky moralizing and obvious metaphors. “Pandorum” is not that kind of film. It’s a dark and unforgiving space horror movie (the survival horror video game “Dead Space” withelements of the cult movie “Event Horizon” and some of the better aspects of “Saw” thrown in) witha claustrophobic mise-en-scene that reminded me of “Alien” or, to a lesser degree “The Descent.” Best of all, and what makes this film worth seeing, is a final revelation that stands as one of sci-fi best genre twists of all time.

Adventureland
Director: Greg Mottola

“Superbad” mets “Wet Hot American Summer” except it doesn’t try as hard either. Plus the film throws in Kristen Stewart as a Jew and Martin Starr (“Freaks and Geeks”) as, um, an even bigger Jew. Score!

A Serious Man
Director: Tom Ford

Ack! I forgot to include “A Serious Man” when I first made this list. Crippling third act problems aside, a few things save this unique film about the saddest gay man on earth. First, of course, Colin Firth in a touching and uniquely human performance. We see the world through this sad man’s eyes and it is as if we’re seeing it with new eyes thanks to Tom Ford’s vision. I wish more non-directors could get films like this made but I can see why they don’t as it takes a special kind of director to wrap up everything by the end. Still, Ford’s ability to experiment with cinematography and period movie conventions (not to mention out-Mad Menning ”Mad Men”) make this film hard to forget. Er, well, I kinda did forget it but I’m mad at myself.   

The Good, The Bad, the Weird
Director: Ji-woon Kim

Some of the first, a little of the second a lot of the third. This is another oddball Korean release except it’s is not a horror film. Or a drama. The director’s previous films include “A Tale of Two Sisters” and “3 Extremes” which he co-directed with none other than Chan Park (who made my number four pick) and the genre(s) of choice here is Western screwball comedy. It’s not only the highest budgeted Korean film ever made but one of the most fun. This quirky Korean epic (a chow mein western?) about a hero a thief and a thug looking for treasure marked with a big X burned into a much sought after and McGuffinized map reminded me of the spirit of the American adventure in the days before stars and high concepts and CGI took a big dump on creativity.

The Fantastic Mr. Fox
Director: Wes Anderson
There’s a moment in this stop motion animated film where a recovering boy gets mad at his cousin from out of town visiting his family’s fox hole. The cousin cries and the boy (Anderson staple Jason Schwartzmen) comforts him by showing the crying fox his train set. The film cuts to the fox family’s shanty house (literally a hole in the ground) and in the background we see a real train, from the human world, passing by. It’s not hard to see what’s going on here. Wes Anderson  is showing us his train set. Is Anderson capable of anything else? Visually, well yeah because this is his first animated film but at the same time “Fox” is as coyly self-examined as anything he’s done since “Rushmore.” Besides the hole non-human thing, “Fox” is basically just another Wes Anderson film in stop motion sheep’s clothing. Everything takes place on a 180 degree plane and every line of dialogue is wry and overly factual. While I’m tired of Anderson, this film renewed my fondness if only for a short period. I like how the film out-humanizes humans by making its universe of animals (even the ones who usually eat each other) respect each other and even band together to do one thing: “Survive,” the grinning Papa Fox voiced by George Clooney (in full Danny Ocean mode) says with such gravely coolness that his performance easily surpasses that whole “Up in the Air” embarrassment. The film also get points in my book for casting Jarvis Cocker as a thug by day and musician by night who is told “That’s just bad songwriting. You wrote a bad song, Petey!” by his land hording and Fox hating hood of a boss and, you know what, I think I just ranked this film on my list so I could include that line. I’ll just give co-writer Noah Baumbach credit for writing it and call it a day.

The Watchmen
Director: Zach Snyder

Hold up, hold up, this does not mean “Watchmen” is on my list. It just happens to be in my list, you see, hanging out  like someone at a party that wasn’t invited and nobody’s is talking to.

worth mentioning…

  • Headless Woman (Lucrecia Martel)
  • I Love You, Man (John Hamburg)
  • 35 Shots of Rum (Clair Denis–might have gone higher if I got around to seeing it with English subtitles.)
  • 24 City (Zhang Ke Jia)
  • Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (David Yates)
  • Tulpan (Sergei Dvortsevoy)
  • Precious (Lee Daniels)

 

The best horror films of all time…

horror

Alien (1979, Scott)Horror begins and ends with “Alien” as far as I’m concerned. I am a sci-fi guy and Ridley Scott’s was THE guy to take that genre and plant his alien seed, seamlessly crossbreeding it with true and claustrophobic horror. The resulting ingestion period spit out not just the best piece of horror ever seen but one of the best examples of the cinema experience period. The post-”2001,” post “Star Wars” story and visuals expanded the outer reaches of science fiction and did something no science fiction film ever did: make space feel real and intimate as a crew of blue collar space, uh, people encounter an alien… not so much monster but parasite. It’s hard to say what works “best” about the film. For my money it’s the “Psycho” switch–a third of the way into this film when Tom Skerritt, the only ”name” actor in the film next to Harry Dean Stanton when it was made, was killed we were left without a stable center and that make the film feel up for grabs. Enter Sigourney Weaver, the unlikely and at the time unknown star. Along the years and after fighting and endless hoard of these creatures her motto could be ”I’ve known you for so long that I don’t know anything else” and I would say the same thing about this flawless film because I can’t think of horror without first thinking of “Alien.”

  1. Alien (1979, Scott)
  2. Evil Dead II (1987, Raimi)–never. gets. old.
  3. The Thing (1982, Carpenter)–the best remake ever made by the best horror director ever.
  4. The Host (2007, Bong)–funny, sad, scary.
  5. Let the Right One In (2008, Alfredson)–best film of 2008.
  6. Day of the Dead (1985, Romero)
  7. The Exorcist (1973, Friedkin)–gets credit for legitimizing horror films in a way nothing else had before or has since. Also becaus it’s really good. Ruined my childhood though.
  8. Videodrome (1983, Cronenberg)–long live the New Cronenberg.
  9. Demon Night: Tales from the Cript (1995, Dickerson)–I am not ashamed to write that “Demon Night” is good enough to warrent a top ten spot. The film has the structure of a Western but is horror all the way. Goofy but intense.
  10. 28 Weeks Later (2007, Fresnadillo)–”Weeks,” not “Days.” Give us a “Months!!!!”
  11. Antichrist (2009, von Trier)–too soon to tell exactly how good it is but it will always be scary. But is it horror? Yes.
  12. Jacob’s Ladder (1990, Lyne)–best twist ever.
  13. Rosemary’s Baby (1968, Polanski)–stay strong, brotha!
  14. Re-Animator (1985, Gordon)–the only good film based on a Lovecraft story.
  15. Cemetery Man (1994, Soavi)
  16. The Ninth Gate (2000, Polanski)
  17. Thirst (2009, Park)
  18. Shaun of the Dead (2004, Wright) –2004, the best year for zombie  movies ever.
  19. May (2002, Mckee)–a fantastic and classic indie cult horror movie that’s “Welcome to the Dollhouse” meets “Frankenstine.”
  20. Screamers (1995, Duguay)–a true and totally bleak 90s cult sci-fi horror hybrid. This film will never be liked.
  21. Phantom of the Paradise (1974, De Palma)
  22. The Cabnet of Dr. Caligari (1920, Wene) The first horror film ever.
  23. Blade II (2002, del Toro)
  24. Event Horizon (1997, P Anderson)
  25. The Last Man on EarthOmega Man, the remake, is better (and one of my favorite movies of all time) but “Last Man” is more true to its horror roots. As for “I Am Legend”… well, lets not talk about it. Vincent Price is a one-of-a-kind horror movie actor and this is his best film because he plays it so real rather than campy.
  26. Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992, Coppola)–not a Coppola fan but his interpretation of Dracula is visionary and way ahead of its time. Gary Oldman’s depiction of the Count stands as the best movie monster performance ever.
  27. Land of the Dead (2006, Romero)
  28. Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994, Craven)–Way better than his old Nightmare. As Craven films go, NM is Scream before there was a Scream. The horror re-imagining stars the actress from the first “Nightmare,” Heather Langenkamp, playing the actress from the first “Nightmare.” Wes Craven’s even in it playing Wes Craven, a director haunted by his Freddy creation! Sooooo meta. And soooo scary!
  29. Slither (2007, Gunn)–a rare film that remembers that horror films are also allowed to be fun.
  30. Shadow of the Vampire (2001, Merhige)
  31. Nosferatu (1922, Murnau)–watch the above back to back with “Nosferatu” for a great night, muahhaha.
  32. Army of Darkness: Evil Dead (1992, Raimi)
  33. Halloween (1978, Carpenter)
  34. The Hills Have Eyes (2006, Aja)
  35. MST3K’s Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
  36. Quarntine/[rec] (2008)
  37. In the Mouth of Madness (1994, Carpenter)–this self aware, Lovecraftian horror film, about a horror writer, is one of the most overlooked horror films in the history of the genre.
  38. Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust (2000, Kawajiri)
  39. Don’t Look Now (1973, Roeg)
  40. Dawn of the Dead (2004, Snyder)–the remake is better than Romero’s version. I said it.
  41. Dressed to Kill (1980, De Palma)
  42. Deep Red (1975, Argento)–have to say it grew on me. Argento’s best and most focused effort.
  43. Hostel II (2008, Roth)–people really dislike this film.
  44. The Birds (1963, Hitchcock)–evil birds? WTF? Sharks, yeah; lions, sure; alligators, okay; insects even but birds??? Here is a film that really should not have worked if you only looked at it on paper… but it’s Hitchcock. I love that the firm almost apocalyptic.
  45. Lord of Illusions (1992, Barker)–not many people know about this film. And they all suck.
  46. Eyes Without a Face (1960, Franju)
  47. The Hour of the Wolf (1968, Bergman)–Bergman? Horror? Yes!
  48. What Lies Beneath (2000, Zemeckis)
  49. Interview with the Vampire (1994, Jordan)–I grew up on this film and am a huge fan of Anne Rice (I know, I know). That the film does not hold up well is why it missed the list.
  50. Martin (1973, Romero)–This loser vampire story (an awkward kid likes to drink blood) is most unique non-horror approach to this horror film I have ever seen. Oh, and this film does not star Martin Lawrence.

Just Missed the List…

  • Cronos (1996, del Toro)
  • The Fury (1978, de Palma)–X-Men meets Scanners.
  • 28 Days Later (2002, Boyle)–would be in the top twenty if it weren’t for the abysmal last act set in a military base. What a way to ruin a potential classic.
  • The Prophecy (1995, Widen)–Christopher Walken as an evil angel, Eric Stoltz as a good angel, Elias Koteas as the hero and Viggo Mortensen as Satan. God, how I love the 90s!!!
  • Exorcist III (1990, Blatty)–underrated and unfortunately criticized horror sequel. It also contains the most scary and well shot horror scene of all time. One word: hallway)

Note: Though they exhibit horror elements sci-fi action movies like “Aliens” or “They Live” or “Predator” are not, by my definition, horror first and foremost. There’s a lot of close-calls in this genre. For instance, are “Mulholland Dr.,” and “Eraserhead” horror? Is this month’s “Antichrist” really horror? Is “Jaws” horror? And finally, do serial killer movies such as “Psycho” belong more to the horror or the thriller genre–unless its a killer movie like “Dressed to Kill” where the reality is heightened to a point of un-reality I would say the latter but I this is totally the eye of the beholder so you can call bullshit on me but please don’t because I love you.

Best Horror Performances

  • Gary Oldman, Dracula
  • Williem Dafoe, Shadow of the Vampire
  • Bruce Campbell, Evil Dead series
  • Sigourney Weaver, Alien series
  • Klaus Kinski, Nosferatu
  • John Cusack, 1408
  • Ray Parks as Fast Draw Earl McGraw at the beginning of From Dusk Till Dawn. Every second is flawless. And who would have thought that McGraw would go to be in three more Tarentino films (both Kill Bills as well as Grindhouse)
  • Jeff Goldblum in the Fly
  • Kare Hedebrant and Linda Leandersson, Let the Right one In.
  • Vincent Pryce in anything he did

Worst Horror Films of All Time: Campy-Bad Gets a Pass, These Are Bad-Bad

  1. Friday the 13th–take your pick. Jason is a boring and blunt ”monster” that elicits no interest or dread. The plots are recycled and the characters he slashes are  not worth the slashing–I liked Freddy vs. Jason though.
  2. I Know What You Did Last Summer–a film about Jennifer Love Hewitt’s boobs… and not much else.
  3. The Grudge
  4. The Village
  5. The Exorcist 2: The Heretic
  6. Alone in the Dark–I heart to hate Uwe Boll
  7. Soul Survivors
  8. Any horror film with “In Space” in the title. “Jason X: IN SPACE,” “Hellraiser: IN SPACE,” and of course “Leprechaun: IN SPACE… In the Hood.”
  9. When a Stranger Calls–the most boring horror film of all time. ring. hello. silence. WHO  IS IT! WHHHHOOOOOOOOO! the end
  10. Rocky Horror Picture Show–I just don’t get it.
  11. One Missed Call
  12. The Hills Have Eyes 2
  13. Any movie with “Chucky”–I hate Chucky.
  14. Day of the Dead (remake)
  15. Any “Crow” movie that is not the first “Crow”
  16. Halloween III-H20
  17. Scream 3

Favorite Superhero Films

  1. Unbreakable–the most pure superhero myth ever. 
  2. Hellboy–funny, scary and a lot of heart. the dorks finally got their x-men! 
  3. Blade II–another del Torro entry! this is the film that made him an auteur
  4. Iron Man–flawed but quite sturdy. the action, the storytelling, the homoeroticism 
  5. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm–that’s right, this is better than any live action batman
  6. Judge Dredd–brilliant cheese. underrated in every way
  7. Batman Begins–okay, I’ll admit to liking it. this film never gets old
  8. Blade–”some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill.” 
  9. Robo Cop–okay, a man dies and gets reincarnated as a robot…a robot cop! 
  10. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen–this is the pick that gives you good cause to question my taste. give it a shot!

What are yours?