Paper Street Cinema

Film, music, TV, video game ramblings.

The Best Song of the Year…

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Top 60 Songs of 2011
click on the song title to hear it

  1. The Birds by Elbow. Whenever I think back upon 2011 this song will always come up first.
  2. Nail In My Coffin – The Kills. Gets the blood boiling. This dirty rock howl stayed in my head all year long.
  3. Interstellar – Amplifier. Space prog at its best. A visionary song in which the only way to be truly free is to travel faster than light. Makes perfect sense to me. (note: the above three songs are pretty much tied for #1)
  4. Dystopia – YACHT. Leads the charge of great 80s inspired songs in 2011. Starts with “The Earth, the earth, the earth is on fire” and only goes up from there. Bonus hipster version of YACHT doing “Dystopia, Voodoo City and Shangra-La.”
  5. Still Life – The Horrors. A shining new wave-y song. Having scored my song of the year for “Sea Within a Sea” in 2009 The Horrors damn near do it again with “Still Life.” There’s no stopping them.
  6. Civilization – Justice. I listened to this underrated song at lest 50 times. Also, music video of the year!
  7. Curl Of The Burl – Mastodon.  One of the best metal song of all time.
  8. The Wolf – Fever Ray. Just like the Beck and Bat for Lashes song from last year featured on the Eclipse soundtrack, it’s best to forget the material this great song came from (Red Riding Hood sorry to say). Still, Fever Ray was robbed of an Oscar for best original song. You hear me Muppets!
  9. A Thousand Details – Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross. Best instrumental track of the year. It’s from Trent Reznor so, yeah, no surprise there. This intense song is from Girl with the Pearl Earing OST.
  10. The Words That Maketh Murder – PJ Harvey. “These, these, these are the words…”
  11. Lotus Flower – Radiohead. This was the lead single off the underrated King of Limbs for a good reason. Here’s Radiohead doing “Lotus Flower” live. Damn that’s good! 
  12. Index – Steven Wilson. I’m a sucker for strings.
  13. Strange News From Another Planet: Know Your honor / Rule by Being Just / The Ship Impossible / Strange Epiphany / Racing and Hunting – …Trail of Dead. Last year my #1 was a 25 minute Sufjan Stevens song. This year my favorite LOOOOOONG song of the year was only 16 minutes. What an experience though. I am officially offering an apology to this band for ranking their Tao of the Dead album so low. It really grew on me.
  14. Tiny Monsters – Puscifer.  NOT to be confused with “Little Monsters” starring Fred Savage and Howie Mandel.
  15. My Machines (ft. Gary Numan)” – Battles. One of many great collaborations on this album. Hellllo Numan.
  16. Who’s In Control – British Sea Power. Please listen to this song. The band does not get enough love.
  17. Immigrant Song” – Trent Reznor, Karen O & Atticus Ross. Better than the original song by Led Zeppelin. Also one of those rare songs where Karen O isn’t annoying.
  18. How Deep Is Your Love? The Rapture. Very deep.
  19. Neat Little RowsElbow. Elbow scores a second track on the top 20. A great song about death.
  20. Glass Jar – Gang Gang Dance. Just wait till it hits minute 6. This is the best Thievery Corporation song Thievery Corporation never recorded.
  21. Revolving Doors Gorillaz. Last year Gorillaz’s Plastic Beach and the song “Stylo” dominated my song/album lists. The fact that Damon Albarn made another list worthy song (and on his iPad!) is pretty cool. I could go for a new Gorillaz song every year.
  22. Fall (M83 vs. Big Black Delta Remix) – Daft Punk + M83. The best M83 song of the year was on Daft Punk’s Tron remix album rather than M83s.
  23. Cruel – St. Vincent. Played with passion, quirkiness a great production and an even better voice. Hey Adele, THIS is how it’s done.
  24. Stay Away – Charli XCX. The best song of the year from a new band/artist.
  25. Amor Fati – Washed Out. The (second) best song of the year from a new band/artist.
  26. Midnight City – M83. And of course I’m wouldn’t dare forget the second best M83 song. I’m amazed (and a bit sad for some reason) at how mainstream this song has become.
  27. Need You Now – Cut Copy. I didn’t love Cut Copy’s new album but this track is the band’s best ever.
  28. Shark Ridden Waters – Gruff Rhys. A very laid back beach song from the last person you’d expect to make a laid back beach song.
  29. Man Overboard – Puscifer. Does what Puscifer and Maynerd does best: dark, clever and full of energy. I love how Maynard James Keenan was able to make an entire song out of nautical sayings.
  30. The Wave – Amplifier. This is only the second Amplifier song on the list. Most songs from the best album of the year, The Octopus, should be on this list but I wanted to save room for other bands.
  31. Repetition – TV On The Radio. Repetition” by TV On The Radio.
  32. Holdin On To Black Metal – My Morning Jacket. My Morning Jacket has never, ever, made a good album. What’s so strange, then, is how many good songs they are able to put on bad albums.
  33. “Get Away” – Yuck. Sigh, this song makes me nostalgic for the 90s. Also, if you like dogs and naked girls be sure to check out another great Yuck song called “Rubber.” This album should have been higher on my list.
  34. I Can See Through You The Horrors. Another masterful Horrors track.
  35. Let England Shake PJ Harvey. Honestly, most songs from this album could make this list.
  36. I Walked Alone YACHT. More YACHT?!
  37. The Daily Mail Radiohead. What’s this?! A non-showy song off the new Radiohead album. Impossible. /sarcasm, that’s exactly why this album is so good. Oh, and it’s a b-side too.
  38. On’n'on Justice. I could have just as easily went with the intro song and/or “Ohio.” But not the song “Audio Video, Disco” which I find annoying.
  39. Last Leaf Tom Waits. Tom Waits manages to make the image of the last leaf on a tree as winter approaches into a moving poetic experience.
  40. Shake It Out Florence and The Machine. Guilty pleasure pop song. Also 1000x better than anything Adele farted out of her mouth.
  41. White Gold Ladytron. Ladytron’s new album Gravity the Seducer was a huge letdown. Tracks like this salvaged it from being a total misfire.
  42. Shangri-la YACHT. The 3rd YACHT song on the list. This song sums up the theme of the album. It’s pretty cool.
  43. Nowhere To Run To – You Love Her Coz She’s Dead. I can chew on this until the next Crystal Castles song comes out (which is hopefully soon). I’m including this to fufil my obligatory 8bit Nintendocore requirement for the year.
  44. Miss You The Rapture. Pretty much the same song as “How Deep Is Your Love?” Meaning: it’s great!
  45. Abducted – Cults
  46. In The Dark Places – PJ Harvey. Why don’t I just put the whole PJ album on this list?
  47. Queen Of Hearts – Fucked Up. As a whole Fucked Up’s album is monotonousness and at times grating. But… if you just listen to this song you will come away very impressed. That’s what they call a mixed complement.
  48. Build Me Up, Break Me Down by Dream Theater. Epic prog in a year with no shortage of that.
  49. 212 Azealia Banks. I don’t know what the hell is going on here but I love it.
  50. House Of Balloons – Glass Table Girls The Weeknd. An epic R&B/post-dubstep song.
  51. Remainder The Black Dog – Steven Wilson. A classic (modern) prog song made by the king of new prog.
  52. With Love – Elbow 
  53. Space Is Only Noise If You Can See Nicolas Jaar. Equal parts annoying and breathtaking. I’m listing it here because it’s more of the later. Err, I think.
  54. Love in the Dark YACHT. Yup, more YACHT. “I love you like a small time cop, I want to smash you face in with a rock.” I don’t know why this album didn’t take off.
  55. Green Valley Puscifer. This song helped me get over a great loss.
  56. Options – “Whatever’s On Your Mind” by Gomez. Underrated as ever. Even I forgot to rank their new album :(
  57. “Lonely Boy – The Black Keys. An overrated album from a very good band. Great song though.
  58. Exile Vilify – The National. Not only is a new National song awesome but a new National song that appears in Portal 2 is awesome beyond all comprehension. Also, check out the fan made video attached to the song.
  59. Living Is So Easy“ – British Sea Power.
  60. Parallel Timeline with Alternate Outcome – Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross.
  61. “Want You Gone“  GLaDOS. I forgive you too GLaDOS.

The 20 Worst Songs of 2011

  1. Lady Gaga  – ”The Edge of Glory” –Fuck. You.
  2. LMFAO  – Party Rock Anthem. OMG STFU LMFAO. Yeah but is this song worse than “Sexy & I Know It?” That will be a debate for the ages.
  3. Nicki Minaj  – “Super Bass” Minaj’s boobs are the least fake thing about her. She is a bad copy of a bad copy (Gaga). The song “Fly” is just as bad.
  4. Adele  – ”Someone Like You” –It was a mildly inoffensive mainstream pop song the first time I heard it. It was wrist cuttingly bad the 100th time. The last time some sang the lyrics “Someone Like You” this shittastically bad was King’s of Leon’s “Use Somebody.”
  5. Willow Smith – 21st Century Girl
  6. Heart2Heart – ”Facebook Official,”  I didn’t even know this song/band existed until I googled “worst songs of 2011.” I’m sorry I did.
  7. EMA– “California” Ponderous!
  8. Bruno Mars - The Lazy Song. Inspirational pop from a coke head loser (with millions of dollars). Ooh look, he’s dancing with monkeys ahaha.
  9. Lady Gaga – “Judas” Really, every Gaga song from Born this way would make the top ten.
  10. Bob Iver – ”Holocene
  11. Beyonce – Run The World (Girls)
  12. James Blake – Wilhelms Scream
  13. Destroyer – ”Kaputt
  14. Lady Gaga –  “Born this Way”
  15. Lady Gaga – ”Americano”
  16. Lady Gaga – ”Marry the Night”
  17. Lady Gaga – ”You and I”
  18. Lady Gaga – ”Hair”
  19. Lady Gaga – ”Scheiße”
  20. Lady Gaga – ”Heavy Metal Lover”

Other

Best Video Game Song: Turret Wife Serenade.” Portal 2. Perhaps the best video game score ever.
Best Original Movie Song: “The Wolf” by Fever Ray.
Best Music Video: Justice/Civilization. Also “Shark Ridden Waters” by Gruff Rhys (Gruff with a beard getting fucked with by a hot chick). And
Best Instrumental: A Thousand Details by Trent Reznor
Best Bad Song:Moves Like Jagger” by Maroon 5.
Most Appearances on this year’s top 60: Yacht (4), PJ Harvey (3)

Final Oscar Predictions Zzzzzzzz

  • Picture: The Artist (should: Midnight In Paris)
  • Director: Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist (should: Terrence Malick)
  • Actor: Jean Dujardin, The Artist (should: Oldman and Clooney)
  • Actress: Meryl Street, Iron Lady (Viola has better odds? Should: Rooney Mara)
  • S. Actor: Christopher Plummer, Beginners (Should: Plummer!)
  • S. Actress: Octavia Spencer, The Help (should: McCarthy)
  • Original Screenplay: Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris (should Midnight)
  • Adapted Screenplay: Payne, The Descendants (Should: Descendants)
  • Documentary: Pina (Should Pena) Winner: Undefeated (what?!)
  • Animated: Rango (Should: Rango)
  • Cinematography: Kaminski, War Horse (Should: Tree of Life) Winner: Hugo
  • Editing: The Artist (Should: Dragon Tattoo) Winner: Tattoo (cool!)
  • Music: The Artist (Should: Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy)
  • Song: Man or Muppet (Should: Muppet)
  • Makeup: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Should: Potter) Winner: Iron Lady
  • Art Direction: Hugo (Should: Hugo)
  • Costumes: The Artist (Should: Hugo)
  • Visual Effects: Rise of the Planet of the Apes (Should: Apes) Winner: Hugo
  • Sound Mixing: Hugo (Should: Hugo)
  • Sound Editing: Hugo (Should: Drive)
  • Foreign Language: A Separation (Should: Separation)
  • Live Action Short: Tuba Atlantic Winner The Shore
  • Animated Short: Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
  • Documentary Short: Tsunami

Results (winners in red… obviously): Woah, I didn’t bomb it. This is the first year I’ve gone 8 for 8 in the main category. I was a habitual 7/8er. Overall I got 17 out of 24.

This is the first year in recent memory where I have only a passing interest in the Oscars. Are Oscars to blame for picking the wrong movies or is it simply the paucity of good to great movies they had to chose from? As flawed as the voting process is I’m thinking its the later. My predictions this year are not really based on much beyond intuition because I haven’t cared enough to follow the precursors or OPPs (other peoples predictions). My final-FINAL predictions go up this Saturday and, yes, I fully expect to bomb this year so I might as well go out on a limb.

-All nominees ranked by preference. 

Best Picture

  • “Midnight in Paris” (Grade: A)
  • “The Descendants” (Grade: A-)
  • “The Tree of Life” (Grade: A-)
  • “Hugo” (Grade: A-)
  • “Moneyball” (Grade: B)
  • “The Artist” (Grade: C+/B-)
  • “The Help” (Grade: C-)
  • “War Horse” (Grade: D+)
  • “Extremely Lame & Incredibly Bad” (Grade: D-/F)

What Will Win: The Artist will most likely win. I say that grudgingly. The Artist is a well crafted throwback to be sure (I’d rate it a C+/B-) and I appreciate that it does not flaunt its post-modernism. The retro gimmick works BUT… if this movie were made in the 20s nobody would care about it. Even as modern silent films go Guy Madden (Brand Upon the Brain) is a true master of pomo silent cinema while Michel Hazanavicius is more of a tourist. The film is not flawed so much as it’s not anything particularly special beyond being a fun little movie. It’s got “momentum” (I hate that term) and will win based on that because people who vote for the Academy Awards (that is when they don’t just give it to their kids/spouses/friends to vote for them) seem to care more about picking the film that is most arbitrarily popular at this exact moment rather than one that will endure or one they liked because that would require insight and some sort of critical evaluation. If you look at the state of the movie industry today you will see that that those traits are absent and have been for a while. This sheep mentality to voting for the trendy films is how titles like Slumdog Millionaire or A Beautiful Mind win and are promptly relegated to being forgotten. Like that film, The Artist will not be remembered years from now because, well, there’s not much to grab on to here. The story of an actor being rendered obsolete has been done before, and better (All About Eve, Singing in the Rain, etc.), and the style is of course entirely cribbed. The other candidate, though a long shot, is The Desdendants and that is a much better and more rounded experience. A real movie in other words. But who am I kidding those rarely win the top prize.

What Should Win: One upside to this year’s nominees is that more than half of them are actually good. The other half don’t belong here. Midnight in Paris, Descendants, Hugo and Tree of Life are four within a very small handful of films I would dare to call good in 2011.  If I could only vote for one title it would be Woody Allen’s Midnight. I would add that Moneyball would have been included in that “good” list if not for the few gag inducing scenes involving Pitt’s character’s singing daughter who, in a moment of startling pandering and out-of-place-ness, auditions for the audience as if she’s trying out for America’s Got Talent. Look, if I wanted to hear little kids singing I would go to… nowhere actually.

What Should Have Been Nominated: Too many to count. I love that the Academy managed to nominated only 9 films. I’m all for fewer films being included in the best picture category (five was perfect except for the fact that the Academy never managed to nominate the right films) but the fact is that a year hasn’t gone by where a larger pool was even remotely necessary–even if it was the Academy would probably screw it up by throwing in a couple Middle American dung nuggets a la The Blind Side. Deplorable 2011 titles like War Horse, The Help and Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close (the worst best picture nominee since Crash) somehow made the “elite” cut of prestigious Best Picture nominees which is an honor that is lessened with each passing year due to overcrowdedness and poor selections. What really sticks in my craw is that rather than go for a full 10 by selecting a thoughtful dark horse like, say, A Separation, or something brilliant like Drive or something unique like The Skin I Live In the voters would rater nominate nothing. Maddening. Wake me up when this is all over.

Directing

  • “The Tree of Life” Terrence Malick
  • “Hugo” Martin Scorsese
  • “Midnight in Paris” Woody Allen
  • “The Descendants” Alexander Payne
  • “The Artist” Michel Hazanavicius

Will: “The Artist” Michel Hazanavicius is the “best” “director” of the year. And by best I mean he placed a stationary camera in front of a shallow film with one dimensional characters. Genus! Blah. Hazanavicius winning the DGA pretty much ends any speculation. Will he have a prosperous directing career after this breakout film? My guess is that he’ll get a few high profile films that will bomb then go back to making bad French spy comedies. Au revoir!

Should:  Malick. No contest. He will lose to a something that could have been directed by a freshman film student and no I’m not talking about the time he lost to Spielberg. Awesome!

Robbed: The directors of Drive (Riffin), Hanna (Wright), The Skin I Live In (Almodóvar) and Melencholia (Trier) all really have legitimate beef here. As much as I like The Descendents I don’t think Payne has ever been a good enough director to warrent a Best Director nom let alone two (a great writer, sure) and the Artist was directed on autopilot so those two shouldn’t be here. But on the miserable years when Steven Daldry makes bad films and gets them nominated for no apparent reason (The Hours?! Billy Elliot?! The Reader!!!!!!?????) I’m just grateful he missed out for the first time with his feel-good (and by feel good I mean brain-dead) 9-11 sob fest.

Actor in a Leading Role

  • Gary Oldman in “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy”
  • George Clooney in “The Descendants”
  • Brad Pitt in “Moneyball”
  • Jean Dujardin in “The Artist”
  • Demián Bichir in “A Better Life”

Will: Jean Dujardin in “The Artist.” I find it amusing that all the actors in The Artist were upstaged by a dog. The good news is that after this year we will never have to try to remember or pronounce his name again. To his credit he was one of the few actors in the film that actually looked like he belonged in a silent film except the filmmakers had to ruin that by giving him a speaking line at the end where this American character’s really thick non-American accent defied all logic and reason and took me out of the picture. Clooney has the best shot at upsetting but he doesn’t have “momentum” for some reason.

Should: Gary Oldman is the best actor nominated. No surprise considering he might be the best actor living. I’m thrilled that he received his first trip to the Oscars after being slighted far too many times in the past (Dracula, Sid and Nancy, The Contender, The Professional, Dark Knight etc.). That being said I was also floored by both Clooney and Pitt’s respective performances. Less so with Dujardin and Belcher (haha).

Robbed: Lots. How about Steve Coogan (The Trip), Ryan Gosling (Drive), Antonio Banderis (The Skin I Live In) and Owen Wilson in Midnight in Paris giving his best performance since Minus Man. Dujardin and Bichir took the spots of some worthy actors. I would also like to add that for the second year in a row Ewan McGregor turned in Oscar caliber performances with Beginners this year and Ghost Writer last that was overlooked by literally everyone in the moviegoing community. Boo. Obi-Wan gets no respect.

Actress in a Leading Role

  • Rooney Mara in “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”
  • Michelle Williams in “My Week with Marilyn”
  • Meryl Streep in “The Iron Lady”
  • Glenn Close in “Albert Nobbs”
  • Viola Davis in “The Help”

Will: Despite not winning the SAG I’m still going with Streep. I love me some Streep but it would be sad to see her win for a lesser film. I guess that could have also applied to the awful Julia and Julia. She should have won for Doubt. Still, I will be clapping for Streep when she gets her third Oscar. She is one of the few living actors for whom I would say three career Oscars is not enough.

Should: Rooney Mara acts the shit out of “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.” She gave the best performance of the bunch. It’s not even close in fact. I was a huge doubter that Mara would be good in Dragon Tattoo. I don’t feel bad about being wrong because the quality and intensity in performance quite literally came out of nowhere. She turned in embarrassing performances in Social Network and Nightmara on Elm Street (haha see what I did there!).

Robbed: No Elena Anaya (The Skin I Live In) means that this category is incomplete. Same goes for Kira Knightley. After Pride and Predjuice, Atonement, Never Let Me Go and A Dangerous Method I have no idea where her new found talent came from–acting lessons?

Actor in a Supporting Role

  • Christopher Plummer in “Beginners”
  • Kenneth Branagh in “My Week with Marilyn”
  • Nick Nolte in “Warrior”
  • Jonah Hill in “Moneyball”
  • Max von Sydow in “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close”

Will: Cancer + gay = Oscar. That’s just science. What’s great about Christopher Plummer in “Beginners”? Everything. This is one of the few categories in the entire 2012 Oscar list where the frontrunner deserves (according to me) to win. To call this a make-up Oscar would not do justice to just how amazing this performance is. Yes, the great Plummer is due to win an Oscar (where were they when he was in The Insider or, hell, Sound of Music almost 40 years ago) but a win here will have nothing to do with history and everything to do with quality. Again, lets give McGregor a little bit of credit again for helping to elevating Plummer’s performance.

Should: Honestly I would love to see Branagh win an Oscar. Long overdue. Nolte would also be fun to see get a win despite the fact that he overacted up a storm in Warrior (his Captain Ahab audio book tantrum was flat out painful to watch!) but, come on, it’s Nick Nolte we’re talking about! But this categorize basically has only one true standout and it’s Plummer. He will win, he should win; the Oscars will get only one acting category right.

Robbed: Two names are glaringly absent. Both should have been here but was screwed over by the usually overrated Max von Sydow’s unexpected and undeserving nomination. And, though I hate to say it, Jonah Hill was adequate at best in Moneyball. The first snub is Albert Brooks who was so good in Drive. I was hoping this small but memorable SAG nominated performance would be nominated like when William Hurt got singled out for his brilliantly odd performance in A History of Violence. Well he got screwed (“You don’t like me, you really don’t like me” he Tweeted). Speaking of getting screwed: BEN KINGSLEY. He was so good in Hugo that I’m amazed everyone wasn’t talking about him this year. I sure was. It’s safe to say people in general (a) take him granted and/or (b) have not forgiven him for being in too many bad movies year after year. Those two contradict each other. Moving on…

Actress in a Supporting Role

  • Melissa McCarthy in “Bridesmaids”
  • Bérénice Bejo in “The Artist”
  • Jessica Chastain in “The Help”
  • Janet McTeer in “Albert Nobbs”
  • Octavia Spencer in “The Help”

Will: Octavia Spencer in “The Help” Ugh. Cool name aside, I still haven’t forgiven Octavia for being in Air Force One (for Oldman, however, I was willing to look the other way). Her Help co-star Chastain should have been nominated for Take Shelter instead. Does Bérénice Bejo in “The Artist” have a shot at this too? I hope not. She was not convincing as a silent movie character at all. Too modern. And too hot. Oddly enough Amanda Seyfried looked like a better silent movie actress in the very bad movie In Time. Only problem was that she had to talk in that movie and we all know what happens when Amanda has to read dialogue… we get, well, In Time and Red Riding Hood. Which is why she might not have sucked so bad in dialogue free The Artist.

Should: Boring category. Really, I don’t care who wins here. You could walk out on Hollywood Blvd and find a more capable street performer. Not one nominee generates any real feeling one way or another. McCarthy, though ever so slightly overrated in Bridesmaids (sorry but John Hamm actually stole the movie from all those ladies save for Wiig’s roomates), was funny at least half the time. Being that eliciting laughter qualifies as an emotion I would have to vote for her.  Congratulations. Little known fact (for obviously reasons): I first became a fan of McCarthy when she had a very small part in the great movie Go and I’m glad.

Robbed: Cary Mulligan not only gave a better performance in Drive than all of the above nominees but this is her first best film performance ever. Second only to her role in the classic Doctor Who (TV) episode “Blink.”

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

  • “The Descendants” Screenplay by Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon & Jim Rash
  • “Hugo” Screenplay by John Logan
  • “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” Screenplay by Bridget O’Connor & Peter Straughan
  • “Moneyball” Screenplay by Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin. Story by Stan Chervin
  • “The Ides of March” Screenplay by George Clooney & Grant Heslov and Beau Willimon

Will: The Descendants seems like a sure thing. Oscar #2 for Payne! I’m glad it won the WGA. I’m also glad The Help wasn’t nominated here. The fact that it wasn’t in this category of all things leads me to believe, or at least hope, that it might not win many this year.

Should: Go Payne! Really though it’s a triple tossup for me between Descendants, Tailor and Hugo. I’ll give the edge to Descendants just because it would be cool to see the dean from Community make his way up to the podium and declare his love for Jeff Winger while wearing an unbelievably gay, er, I mean FABULOUS! outfit.

Robbed: Ahem, Drive.

Writing (Original Screenplay)

  • “Midnight in Paris” Written by Woody Allen
  • “A Separation” Written by Asghar Farhadi
  • “Margin Call” Written by J.C. Chandor
  • “Bridesmaids” Written by Annie Mumolo & Kristen Wiig
  • “The Artist” Written by Michel Hazanavicius

Will: The Artist was nominated for screenplay. Screenplay! What? How? WHAT?! Noooo! I will slap a bitch who says The Artist should an award for its screenplay. Yes, I know there’s more to a movie’s script than just dialogue but, come on, best SCREENPLAY for pantomiming in a story that was not original to begin with?! This reminds me of the time Joss Whedon got nominated for the wordless (and most overrated of all time–I said it!) Buffy episode “Hush.” Thankfully, I don’t think it will win the Oscar for writing this year. My hunch is that Globe and WGA winner Allen will get his third writing Oscar…

Should: …and that’s great. Woody Allen wrote the best film of this bunch. Midnight is a wonderful/funny/thoughtful fantasy story and a win for Allen would be a great tribute to a filmmaker and storyteller that continues to release great films. Really, I can’t say enough good things about that magical film or Woody for that matter.

Robbed: Beginners and Certified Copy are two that come to mind. And of course The Skin I Live In. And Take Shelter. And Win Win. Lots of good stories missed out in the picture and writing category. To be fair I haven’t seen Margin Call yet. It looks great and I’m glad that smaller titles like that and A Separation got some attention in this category because it sure as hell wasn’t going to happen in the uber safe and boring Best Picture category.

Animated Feature Film

  • “Rango” Gore Verbinski
  • “A Cat in Paris” Alain Gagnol and Jean-Loup Felicioli
  • “Chico & Rita” Fernando Trueba and Javier Mariscal
  • “Kung Fu Panda 2″ Jennifer Yuh Nelson
  • “Puss in Boots” Chris Miller

Will: Rango. The best animated film of the year (by faaaaaaaaaaaaaar) and that rarest of things: a Johnny Depp movie that is not total crap. This is a strange category this year. Half the films nobody has heard of, one film is unmitigated crap (Panda) and the other looks like unmitigated crap (Puss). Rango is the only logical choice. If it doesn’t win I will shit myself with anger.

Should: Rango. The film is smart, beautiful, visually masterful and funny. If you ever wondered what a Coen Brother animated film might looks like this is as close as we’re probably going to get to seeing one. I’m a huge, unapologetic Gore Verbinski fan. He’s an auteur no matter what anyone says. Yes, even on Mouse Hunt and The Mexican. Even when he makes really bad movies like Pirates of the Caribbean 1 and 2. I’m very glad he will (probably?) get an Oscar. If so he will join Hayo Miyazaki and George Miller as cool directors who have earned an Oscar in this relatively new category. I just fear the day when Tim Burton wins for crapping out some animated monstrosity.

Robbed: I haven’t seen Tintin and while I’m sure I’ll hate it (it’s Spielberg after all) I’m shocked and for some reason a bit sad it wasn’t nominated. I’d be willing to bet my new Mini Cooper that Tintin is the better 2011 Spielberg movie because War Horse sure as hell isn’t cutting it.

Documentary (Feature)

  • “Pina” Wim Wenders and Gian-Piero Ringel
  • “Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory” Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs
  • “If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front” Marshall Curry and Sam Cullman
  • “Undefeated” TJ Martin, Dan Lindsay and Richard Middlemas
  • “Hell and Back Again” Danfung Dennis and Mike Lerner

Will: Pina. I will be happy to see Wenders finally get an Oscar. He was sooooo close when he made Buena Vista Social Club; I still don’t know how he lost that one.

Should: Pina is a very good film. I would hesuitate to call it a full fledged documentary however since it’s more of a film that presents dance performances. If tha tmakes it a documentary than so was Black Swan.

Robbed: This year’s documentary nominees remind me of the 80s and 90s where obscure films that nobody will ever see get nominated while good docs miss out. Sorry, I’m just bitter Herzog’s Cave of Forgotten Dreams wasn’t nominated. Note: my dislike of the documentary genre continues, thus bringing me one step closer to fulfilling my sad and empty quest to escape form reality entirely. I make one or two exceptions per year and Herzog is always one of them (though I couldn’t bring myself to watch his other doc–something about death row that looks thoroughly depressing even for Herzog).

Foreign Language Film

  • “A Separation” Iran
  • “Bullhead” Belgium
  • “Footnote” Israel
  • “In Darkness” Poland
  • “Monsieur Lazhar” Canada

Will: A Separation.

Should: Dogtooth! Oh, that was last year. Obviously A Separation and not just because it’s the only foreign film on this list that I saw. Iran should stick to making movies because that’s the only thing they not spectacular at fucking up.

Robbed: THE SKIN I LIVE IN. Yes, I’m busting out all caps for that. How did this brilliant thriller not make the cut? It’s the best foreign film of the year. Screw this!

Cinematography

  • “The Tree of Life” Emmanuel Lubezki
  • “Hugo” Robert Richardson
  • “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” Jeff Cronenweth
  • “War Horse” Janusz Kaminski
  • “The Artist” Guillaume Schiffman

Will: The Artist is black and white and looks like Greg Tolan (Citizen Kane) shot it. Usually that means a film is a lock to win in this category even though, in The Artist’s case, the camera doesn’t move! Never mind. Tree of Life and War Horse might also win. The later is a bad movie, yes, but a great looking bad movie. Kaminski is perhaps the best living cinematographer. He’s too talented to be stuck working with Spielberg on every one of his films but, whatever, he’s going to win and that’s fine with me. Really, though, this category seems relatively open to upsets. Seeing as how Inception randomly won last year (the only award that film SHOULD have won at that) I’m hoping for another surprise.

Should: Tree of Life. Beautiful, elegant and truly original. The film’s cinematography helped make it all those things. Malick might have help the movie bit to I suppose :)

Robbed: Do I even need to say it… okay then, it starts with a “d” and ends with a “rive.”

Art Direction

  • “Hugo” Production Design: Dante Ferretti; Set Decoration: Francesca Lo Schiavo
  • “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2″ Production Design: Stuart Craig; Set Decoration: Stephenie McMillan
  • “War Horse” Production Design: Rick Carter; Set Decoration: Lee Sandales
  • “Midnight in Paris” Production Design: Anne Seibel; Set Decoration: Hélène Dubreuil
  • “The Artist” Production Design: Laurence Bennett; Set Decoration: Robert Gould

Will: Hugo seems like a lock. Sadly, this category might be its only win. This film contains Scorsese’s second best use of sets. The other is Gangs of New York (bad film in my opinion but a great looking bad film at least) which I still shudder to recall lost to Chicago.

Should: Tough call between Hugo and Potter. As much as I adored seeing the ruined and smouldering Hogwarts finally come to life I have to give the edge here to Hugo because of how creative its design is. Such a memorable film.

Robbed: Hanna.

Editing

  • “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall
  • “Hugo” Thelma Schoonmaker
  • “Moneyball” Christopher Tellefsen
  • “The Descendants” Kevin Tent
  • “The Artist” Anne-Sophie Bion and Michel Hazanavicius

Will: I have no idea. The Artist I guess but only because I’m guessing people are just going to give it as many Oscars as possible. Editing in The Artist is very by-the-numbers, no?

Should: Tattoo and Hugo. Both have a shot thankfully. Great editing. I’m disqualifying Schoonmaker only because she’s won like a million editing awards.

Robbed: Drive (again). Also Contagion. And how could this category not contain Tree of Life. It’s absence does not compute. Hanna is another worthy snubbee. Also, The Trip did an amazing job of condensing the series into a wonderful movie and should have been nominated.

Visual Effects

  • “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” Joe Letteri, Dan Lemmon, R. Christopher White and Daniel Barrett
  • “Hugo” Rob Legato, Joss Williams, Ben Grossman and Alex Henning
  • “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2″ Tim Burke, David Vickery, Greg Butler and John Richardson
  • “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” Scott Farrar, Scott Benza, Matthew Butler and John Frazier
  • “Real Steel” Erik Nash, John Rosengrant, Dan Taylor and Swen Gillberg

Will: Potter or Apes. Take your Pick. Apes it is.

Should: I loved the final Potter and it’s effects. I love Hugo and it’s effects. I love Apes and its effects. All superlative in different ways. If I had to pick I would go with Apes because the special effects are brilliantly used to help tell this film’s emotional story. If the award was for best 3D movie then Hugo would win, it’s the best 3D movie ever made.

Robbed: Tree of Life really should have been recognized here. It’s that rare arthouse films where visual effects are used to make a film more artful. That last happened, when, Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey? For that reason alone it should be celebrated. Now I’m going to contradict myself and say that Green Lantern should also have been nominated. I’m 100% serious, the effects are perfectly suited for the type of film GL is. And, hey, where’s X-Men First Class? For Magneto’s death quarter scene alone it should be nominated. That all of these films were not nominated while Real Steel was makes me very angry.

Music (Original Score)

  • “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” Alberto Iglesias
  • “Hugo” Howard Shore
  • “The Artist” Ludovic Bource
  • “War Horse” John Williams
  • “The Adventures of Tintin” John Williams

Will: Artist. Whatever. I usually complain when John Williams (the most overrated composer of all time) gets nominated once. With two nominations I’m utterly speachless. At least he won’t win. The Artist seems like the safest bet. This is one and only category where the a win for Artist makes sense…

Should: …that being said it’s not the best nomianted score. I’m equally fond of Shore’s Hugo score and Iglesias’s Tinker tinkerings. If I had to pick just one it would be the later.

Robbed: Trent Reznor, Trent Reznor, Trent Reznor. Also: OMG, Alexander Desplat wasn’t nominated this year.

Music (Original Song)

  • “Man or Muppet” from “The Muppets” Music and Lyric by Bret McKenzie
  • “Real in Rio” from “Rio” Music by Sergio Mendes and Carlinhos Brown Lyric by Siedah Garrett

Will: Wow, what a pathetic category. Just two nominees. And random ones at that. This category never made much sense to me because the songs are usually not really part of the movie. In Muppets it was though so it gets points for that. Muppets will win because Muppets isn’t a horrible unwatchable annoying mess like Rio. Plus, it’s that rare original movie song that’s as silly as it is good.

Should:  Muppets. Obviousley.

Robbed: First of all I would like to personally thank the Academy for once again not nominating Madonna in this category. The best original movie song that I came across is Fever Ray’s aptly titled “The Wolf” from Red Riding Hood. It’s by far the only good thing about that awful mess of a movie. I love Fever Ray. I also love Trent Reznor’s “Immagrent Song” from Dragon Tattoo but, despite outdoing Zepplin, it’s not “original.”

Costume Design

  • “Hugo” Sandy Powell
  • “Anonymous” Lisy Christl
  • “Jane Eyre” Michael O’Connor
  • “The Artist” Mark Bridges
  • “W.E.” Arianne Phillips

Will: I have no idea. Hugo, Artist and Anoymous seem to have a shot.

Should: I refuse to give props to period movies. I’m so sick of seeing them win. Sure they look good but usually very little imagination goes into them whereas modern costumes are wholly original.  That being said the less period-y movie here is Hugo so that gets my imaginary vote.

Robbed: Drive. Seriously, that was a cool jacket. I want one!

The Whatever Categories…

Makeup

  • “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2″ Edouard F. Henriques, Gregory Funk and Yolanda Toussieng
  • “The Iron Lady” Mark Coulier and J. Roy Helland
  • “Albert Nobbs” Martial Corneville, Lynn Johnston and Matthew W. Mungle

Will: Who cares.
Should: Not J Edgar. Oh, it wasn’t nominated. Good! Really, who cares.
Robbed: Nobody–it’s makeup. How about Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star?

Sound Editing

  • “Drive” Lon Bender and Victor Ray Ennis
  • “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” Ren Klyce
  • “Hugo” Philip Stockton and Eugene Gearty
  • “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” Ethan Van der Ryn and Erik Aadahl
  • “War Horse” Richard Hymns and Gary Rydstrom

Will: Hugo or War Horse. Hugo it is.
Should: Drive. Not because the sound editing is necessarly better than it’s fellow nominees but because, well, it’s Drive. How random is it that this is the film’s only nomination? The Academy managed to single out the one thing people didn’t talk about when the film was over. Well, that and the
Robbed: Tree of Life.

Sound Mixing

  • “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” David Parker, Michael Semanick, Ren Klyce and Bo Persson
  • “Hugo” Tom Fleischman and John Midgley
  • “Moneyball” Deb Adair, Ron Bochar, Dave Giammarco and Ed Novick
  • “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers, Jeffrey J. Haboush and Peter J. Devlin
  • “War Horse” Gary Rydstrom, Andy Nelson, Tom Johnson and Stuart Wilson

Will: Again, I have no idea. Hugo?
Should: Dragon Tattoo for the sound of Mara’s beautiful ass being spanked.
Robbed: Tree of Life.

Short Film (Animated)

  • “Dimanche/Sunday” Patrick Doyon
  • “The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore” William Joyce and Brandon Oldenburg
  • “La Luna” Enrico Casarosa
  • “A Morning Stroll” Grant Orchard and Sue Goffe
  • “Wild Life” Amanda Forbis and Wendy Tilby

Will: I’ll get back to you on that.
Robbed: Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star

Documentary (Short Subject)

  • “The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement” Robin Fryday and Gail Dolgin
  • “God Is the Bigger Elvis” Rebecca Cammisa and Julie Anderson
  • “Incident in New Baghdad”James Spione
  • “Saving Face” Daniel Junge and Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy
  • “The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom” Lucy Walker and Kira Carstensen

Will: Uh, yeah, dunno. Saving this pick for the last minute.
Robbed: Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star

Short Film (Live Action)

  • “Pentecost” Peter McDonald and Eimear O’Kane
  • “Raju” Max Zähle and Stefan Gieren
  • “The Shore” Terry George and Oorlagh George
  • “Time Freak” Andrew Bowler and Gigi Causey
  • “Tuba Atlantic” Hallvar Witzø

Will: Huh?
Robbed: Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star

Best of 2011: Music


Album of the Year: Amplifier
The Octopus

     How underrated is Amplifier’s The Octopus? This album is not even on Metacritic. Rock music is truly dying but The Octopus didn’t get that memo. This uncompromising self-release from a little known Manchester trio (Sel Balamir, Neil Mahoney, and Matt Brobin) fulfilled my prog/alt-rock fix with out-of-this-world bombastic sci-fi imagery and as much intensity as Muse’s tangentially similar space-rock/prog opus Black Holes and Revelations album (also my #1 the year it came out). This groundbreaking Octopus record is full of the kind of unabashedly adventurous music not heard since the 1970s when albums actually had concepts and, for that matter, when music actually had albums.A sprawling if muddled narrative through line explores an Asimovian notion of traveling the universe to escape one form of tyranny (religion, corporate, government etc.) only to encounter another. It seems that humanity is doomed to encounter the same story as the eponymous Cthulhu-like Octopus from the cover art reaches out and threatens to destroy everything it touches. Woah. Songs like “Interglacial Spell,” “Fall of the Empire,” “Trading Dark Matter On The Stock Exchange” help build this über nerdy and often psychedelic concept into something that is worthy (and surpasses) many sci-fi movies and books of recent years. Any album that has an un-ironically song titled “Planet of Insects” on it needs to be given a high five. The album’s centerpiece is “Interstellar,” an otherworldly jam that Amplifier literally kicks it into “overdrive” by taking the listener on a trip to a distant sun “faster than a laser beam” (cue Amplifer’s laser beam sound drop) to explore far away galaxies. This sublime and, again, non-ironic 10+ minute prog fueled track crescendos with the revelatory notion that traveling faster than light is the only way to be “truly free.”

While this not a conventional pick for album of the year it’s been a long time since an album so thoroughly invaded my listening hours so I got to give credit where it’s due. Spanning two discs (what are those?) and an impossible to market sound/concept, The Octopus is in instant classic. This is a hopeful indication that music’s future has the potential to be, to borrow that Amplifier lyric, truly free when more artists realize that the narrow minded record industry is hurting the music scene more than it’s helping it at this curious stage in its evolution.


2. Radiohead
King of Limbs + King of Limbs From the Basement

Loving this album takes work and dedication. One must earn it’s respect before it whispers its secrets to you. Just another Radiohead album in other words. I was just as underwhelmed by Limbs as so many other fans were but the album’s beguilingly uneventful melodies, hypnotic rhythms and sleepy lyrics/vocals lingered far longer then I expected after my first listen. I called it a work of lazy brilliance and I would still call it that today except when I say it now I mean it as a compliment. While most are ranking Limbs just above Pablo Honey as the worst Radiohead album to date, I would argue that this is in fact Radiohead’s best album since their similarly impenetrable Amnesiac. Like that A+ album, soon after my lethargic reaction I found myself re-listening to it almost daily (alongside a superlative live version of Limbs featuring two new tracks  ”The Daily Mail” and “Staircase” and a decent enough remix album called TKOL RMX 1234567) without known why. Now that the year has ended I still don’t have very good grip on the album because my approach differs from one listen to the next. There are no shortcuts to Limbs. The album’s ability to grow and evolve over time will (hopefully) earn it more fans in the years to come.

3. Puscifer
Conditions of my Parole

From looking at the cover art you would think this album was a goof. Wigs, fakes moustaches and prison outfits. Is Maynard James Keenan doing another one of his Mr. Show type skits in album form? Far from it. Crazy but fun live shows aside, Puscifer’s two album releases have been very sober (Tool pun intended).  It’s hard to convey the level of success this album reaches. It took me a few listens to orient myself to the reality that this is, in fact, a very serous and even soulful album. Elements of industrial, alt-rock and even country wash over you as the mellifluous Maynard croons and groans into the abyss of a digital oblivion. This album stands as Maynard’s most mature and deeply felt effort to date. No “Cuntry Boners” here. While low key, this is an accomplished work that has the potential to appeal to fans of Tool, A Perfect Circle and those who don’t like either. That it ranks with the best of Maynard’s previous efforts is no small feat.


4. The Horrors
Skying

How did this album not make it on more best of lists?! I don’t want to jinx the band but we really could be looking at the moder version of The Clash. Their last album snagged my song of the year (“Sea Within a Sea”) and a spot in my top five. I was blindsided by The Horrors’s Primary Colours album in 2008. Many were along with me (NME for one). And many, like me, figured The Horrors would never recover from such unexpected burst of brilliance (a.k.a. Franz Ferdinand Syndrome). Well, the band blindsided me again on Skying.I should stop being surprised when The Horrors makes a great album. It shall now be assumed that they’re going to make something this outrageously good. In an interesting twist, this new album is a departure from last. Instead of playing it safe and recapturing the gothic-punk magic of Colours, The Horrors decided to evolve into a sound that’s less Horrors and more in tune with British alt-rock bands like Doves and British Sea Power as well as a number of older influences (some shoegaze). Skying is not only better than anything from those two (great) bands have but the best thing The Horrors has ever produced. More to come.


5. PJ Harvey
Let England Shake

I was a huge fan of Harvey’s last album (the dreamy White Chalk) because it was such a wonderfully realized departure from her usual alt/indie rock brilliance. I am a bigger fan of this album however because it is such a strong example of what Harvey does best. Lively rock with a real sense of spirit guiding it along. Let England Shake is (another) rousing achievement for Harvey who has no shortage of those. It is required listening for any Anglophile and a perfect example of England’s sad and solitary duty of keeping rock music alive (7 out of my top 10 albums are from UK artists!). Lyrically, it’s the smartest album released all year as well as the most spiritually enriching. It goes beyond genres to reach the very soul of a nation. And the listener.


6. The Kills
Blood Pressures

The Kills took matters to a new level (and genre) with Blood Pressures, transitioning from what was once a decent enough punk band that, on the album Midnight Boom, achieved a sloppy form greatness almost by accident. Oddly enough I think Alison Mosshart’s stint with the abominable Jack White garage blues band The Dead Weather (let us never utter than band’s name again) somehow rubbed off on The Kills, preserving the best elements (what little there were) from Dead Weather (ack!) while shit-canning the bloated country/rock indulgences. If you want to be blown away by how good The Kills have become then listen to the track “Nail In My Coffin” off Blood Pressures. Or you could listen to just about any song here. Really, it’s that good. Blood Pressures has a smoky, bluesy sound that fits beautifully with the band’s usual guttural rock howls. The Kills nailed this album so hard that they even managed to outdo The Black Keys’s El Camino in 2011.


7. Steven Wilson
Grace for Drowning

The criminally underrated Steven Wilson’s Insurgentes solo album was a cool little side project that showed off Wilson’s penchant for rocking by his lonesome. This album is a full fledged experience good enough to be put in the same company as his seminal modern prog band Porcupine Tree. The stream of consciousness songs, spread over two discs, range in influence from Mars Volta’s jazzy dissonance, Depeche Mode’s industrial synths, movie soundtracks and too many classic prog albums to count (Yes, Floyd, early Genesis etc.). A song like “Track One” begins with a Beatles-esq sound and follows that up with a few minutes of Nine Inch Nails gloom only to end with a fluffy guitar riff. This organized chaos is why this album is such a big deal. Much as the classic progressive movement mixed and matched sounds in the 70s, Steven Wilson samples form that period and goes one step beyond by adding a modern touch of alt-rock, electronic and metal. It is a truly modern progressive masterpiece; completely original in its ambitious wide-screen soundscapes. There’s even a 20+ minute track! Indulgent, yes, but that’s the quiddity of this genre. When such a skilled musician is indulging in his craft at this high a level it’s best to shut up and just take in the experience.


8. Elbow
Build a Rocket Boys!

Guy Garvey is like a modern rock version of Frank Sinatra except way cooler and actually a talented.  Elbow, the most grown-up and downright classy alternative rock band around, has crafted their most grown up album. The band’s shimmering Build a Rocket Boys may not be as visionary as their Mercury Prize winning Seldom Seen Kid (or its equally wonderful live counterpart) but it’s actually better in a lot of ways. For one, as with The Kills and many other bands on the list this year, it’s Elbow’s most consistent effort. One soulful song smoothly shifts into another, starting off low key and swelling into a lush anthem of melancholy redemption. I listened to the proggy song “Birds” more times than I can count (it’s the perfect song to walk dogs to) and consider it in the running for song of the year. Another potential best-of for Elbow, “Neat Little Rows,” manages to make the gloomy prospect death beautiful in a strange way. Elbow is the perfect band for anyone raised on 90s music and wants to listen to something dignified but not boring for a change.

9. Yacht
Shangri-La

So many things from this band and for that matter this album should annoy me. Vegan hipster hippies Jona Bechtolt and Claire Evans cawing endlessly about extremely shallow new-age spiritual matters and pretty much nothing else. Sample lyric sound like this “Don’t you worry about god up above, we’re going to live life in… LOVE” or this “If your enemies cause you cancer then we’ll find a cure for you and bring it to the club, yeah bring it to the club!” There’s also song about “Paradise engineering” or (some such shit) that goes “If there is a hell/ that’s where I belong/for breaking all these rules/and singing all these songs.” Fuck off, posers! Except… don’t. Yacht pulls it off. And I can understand why; this album would annoying if it wasn’t so groovy. Perhaps it’s the playful sense of fun the duo brings to each song that keeps it alive and popping for every ecstatic second of its 44 minute running time. Laughable lyrics and messages aside, there’s hardly a misfire in the whole album. With its rousing anthem “the earth, the earth, the earth is on fire,” Dystopia is one of the all-time best 80s songs not released in the 80s. Yacht rocks every track as if it’s the last thing they’ll ever do before the metaphorical “end” they so love to muse over before invariably twisting that subject to focus on revolutions and new beginnings. Shangri-La is one of the more successful 80s electronic throwbacks ever, full of catchy hooks and a vocal approach by Evans that is so bad it’s downright charming. She makes Karen O look like a seasoned Opera singer. Unlike O’s Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs, Yacht seems to be incapable of making a bad album.

10. Mastodon
The Hunter

Mastodon makes a super conventional rock album yet somehow figured out how to rock just as hard within the usually damning confines of mainstream metal. The album may not be as ambitious as the brilliant Crack the Sky (or Leviathan or Blood Mountain etc.) but it’s a wonderfully managed effort that will hopefully gain this esteemed metal band some much needed new fans who could very well be eased into the metal scene thanks to The Hunter. Take a song like “Curl of the Burl” for instance. First off, it’s brilliant. Second, it’s fucking brilliant. Third, I have no idea what a curl is or, for that matter, a burl, but I love them all the same and have become quite fond of belting out “it’s just the curl of the burl, that’s just the way of the woooooooorld!” when nobody except my Pug is around. It’s the band’s best song to date despite being the kind of track the woolly metal thrashers would not have been able to pull of on past albums that were defined more by epic metal ruminations than straight forward iPod friendly tunes. If it sounds like I’m dancing (or moshing) around the fact that the band has sold out, I am, but so what, this is the kind of “selling out” that is good because it maintains a high level integrity while offering something more accessible and polished to fans and non-fans of this neglected genre. If rock is dead then metal is REALLY dead so this is a good thing. Metalica could learn a thing or two (or five thousand) from Mastodon’s latest album.


11. Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross
The Girl With a Dragon Tattoo Soundtrack
I was enthralled by Reznor and Ross’s Social Network soundtrack. It showed a side of the Nine Inch Nails frontman that I had not seen; an album that is perfectly contained with a fascinating sense of experimentation with 8-bit sounds. It is one of the most revolutionary music scores of all time, proving that all soundtracks don’t have to sound like John Williams farted them out of his crusty tuba. Just a year later and Reznor (along with longtime producer Ross) did it again! Threefold! This epic album surprises but not in the same ways Social Network did. Like the Social Network soundtrack this soundtrack is better than the movie it’s based on. After getting into the murderin’ mood with a simmering cover of Led Zepplin’s “Immigrant Song” that manages the (easy) feat of being better than anything the overrated Zepplin has ever done (not counting Tool’s version of “No Quarter”), the album wallops you with an endless stream of brooding ambient textures. Deeply resonating  guitar riffs get the blood flowing on tracks like “A Thousand Details” while the ambient sounds textures chill it at the same time. Most surprising is the album’s length: 3 HOURS. As Trent Reznor instrumentals go that’s is positively Ghost-sized. The album’s length is perhaps excessive but I appreciate the extent to which Reznor is able to immerse the listener in David Fincher’s dark film world. It’s the kind of album where you press play and loose track of time only to wake up naked in the snow with a bloody knife in one hand and a cat’s head in another. Uh…

12. M83
Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming
Not M83’s best album (more on par with Saturdays = Youth than Dead Cities) but despite a number of lulls and cheesy moments (the spoken word stuff has always been too emo), the album maintains the standards I expect from this dependable electronic band. Not only is there lots of gorgeous shoegazing but the 80s vibe (a trend in 2011) that Anthony Gonzalez infuses into his music gives Hurry Up a unique personality. I wasn’t aware of how much I liked this album until I realized that whenever a song would pop up on my iPhone’s shuffle I never skipped it. I have a feeling this album will grown on me in the months to come and while I look forward to my impendingly growing appreciation I do not look forward to the regret I will/might feel for not placing this in the top ten.

13. Battles
Gloss Drop
This is not a great Battles album but it is a great album that happens to have been made by a band that once called themselves Battles but, upon the departure of guitar/keyboard/vocalist Tyondai Braxton, just as soon abandoned the quirky prog electronic signatures that put them on the map, or Atlas as it were… this sentence needs to end.

14. Gang Gang Dance
Eye Contact
Great Great Album.15. Daft Punk and co.
Tron: Legacy Reconfigured
I never expected a remix album from a Disney movie (and a bad one at that!) to make it this high on any best of list. Not that my standards are that high but, well, it’s Tron we’re talking about here and as everyone knows by now: Tron sucks. While I really enjoyed Daft Punk’s first music soundtrack on its own terms I felt it was a perfect example of one of the world’s best bands being held back and creatively suffocated by the demands of a tame, zero risk taking cinematic vision. That Daft Punk survived the lamentable Tron debacle with a product that did not outright embarrass them just shows you how good they are. This album unloads (or downloads) more electronica awesomeness than you can shake an Ethernet cable at. It holds nothing back. It even brings to the foreground a lot of stuff I missed the first time around, showing just how complex the original soundtrack might actually be. This reconfiguration is almost what I would expect from Daft Punk if they approached the initial soundtrack as an actual album rather than a movie score. Featuring re-interpretations from electronica acts like M83, Ki:Theory, Moby and Photek, Reconfigured is that rare remix album that surpasses the original mix!

16. Justice
Audo, Video, Disco

The album was put at a disadvantage by the fact that everyone expected it to top †. Well, that’s not happening –not by Justice or anybody– but, seriously, that’s not a good reason to grimace one’s way through the likable Audio, Video, Disco. Anyone not hooked by a song like “Civilization” might not have a pulse. As the album title promises, this new Justice album is full of infectious 70s/80s era disco house dance songs that are easily as good if not better than anything Lindstrom has done in the last few years.

17. St. Vincent
Strange Mercy
In 2011 the masses were placated by the phony, slightly-above-American-Idol-standard stylings of Adele. Fools! For the people who knew what the fuck is up however there was St. Vincent (aka Annie Clark) who, on Strange Mercy, took full command of her sound (arty pop on par with the likes of Annie and Nellie Mckay) and converted a lot of listeners like me who were on the fence after her underwhelming Actor debut.

18. Tom Waits
Bad as Me
Sometimes I want an artist to innovate. Other times I’m perfectly content with hearing them do what they do best. Waits has made a traditional album that only he is capable of. Only Waits could sing a song from the point of view of the last leaf on a tree as winter approaches (winter is coming!) and make you feel emotional connected. Full of growls and an indescribable carnival-gone-wrong sadness, the gravely master attains a nice concoction that, while not the powerhouse that Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers & Bastards was, settles nicely in his accomplished catalogue.

19. Tim Hecker
Ravedeath, 1972
Hecker’s last album An Imaginary Country made my top ten. Ravedeath, 1972 is actually better in retrospect. Every year I make room from some good ambient music and I have to say that Hecker is perhaps the best artist working in this genre right now. His music is truly addicting but I’ve never been able to capture why exactly because I suck at writing about music. At any rate Ravedeath (which sounds like a city in Skyrim) blankets the listener with well crafted shapes, sounds, tones and inexpressible emotions.

20. The Rapture
In the Grace of Your Love
Not even its status as the band’s worst album to date can stop The Rapture’s new entry from being great compared to most others. Like Radiohead and M83’s 2011 entries, it didn’t do much for me at first but I found myself revisiting this album countless times and getting into a surprising large number of songs such as the title track, “Miss You” and of course the band’s most popular song to date “How Deep is Your Love?” Very deep it turns out. The Rapture is a great band that has far too many albums to its name. MOAR!

Special Mention


21. Cliff Martinez
Drive
Another 80s throwback! I’ve been a huge Cliff Martinez fan every since hearing his score for Steven Soderbergh’s “The Limey.” His work on “Drive” however is an eye opening display of artistic growth. It’s just one of the many, many things that movie does perfectly. The fact that it works just as well as an album then as music in a film puts old Cliff in Trent Reznor’s company.

22. Washed Out
Within and Without
Provided 2011 with some much needed ccccccccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.
23. Gorillaz
The Fall
The Fall is the Gorillaz’s most problematic album. As a huge Gorillaz fan I’m hesitant to even consider it cannon–it’s more of a side-project within the overall side-project that is the Gorillaz proper. An experiment within the experiment. After the “band” made Plastic Beach, the very best album of 2010, the non-animated frontman and creative hurricane behind the band (oh, and a little band called Blur) Damon Albarn decided to have a piss and record The Fall on his iPad while on the Escape to Plastic Beach World Tour (one of the most amazing live shows I’ve ever been to). Or so the story goes. It is not an ambitious album compared to the band’s last three high concept, highly collaborative efforts, and not even a very good album in some spots, but the fact that its any good at all (“Revolving Doors” is one of the band’s best songs) is a testament to Albarn’s creativity. After hearing The Fall I am now convinced that Albarn could literally make an album in his sleep and not have it suck.

24. Dream Theater and Opeth
A Dramatic Turn of Events and Heritage
Truly a banner year for prog as evidenced by Amplifier, Steven Wilson, Opeth and of course Dream Theater’s offerings. Dream Theater’s album continues the band progressive metal sound but, as with the equally solid (though far from fan favorite) Black Clouds & Silver Linings’s album, the band mixes things up with some softer, more concept driven passages that’s less metal and more classic prog. The album is heavy to be sure but Dream Theater lets the material breath and the results are successful. As for Opeth, Heritage is one of their most progressive and palatable albums to date. Like Dream Theater’s “watered down” (not in a bad way) album Heritage lacks some of the band’s more intense death metal signatures (perhaps due to Steven Wilson’s departure as a producer) but is a worthy addition to their impressive catalog. It may not be the album that Opeth purists of 2001-2005 (Blackwater Park, Blackwater, Park Damnation) have been asking for –demanding actually– but in all honesty this direction seems more organic. Not many artists can rock and growl through an intense death metal sound after almost 30 years.

25. You Love Her Coz She’s Dead
Self Titled
Let’s hear it for Nintendocore! What’s that you say, this band ripped off Crystal Castles? Well good on them! More bands should rip of Crystal Castles. After releasing some random tracks and EPs since 2008 this British band finally got enough material together put out this full length self-titled debut. It lives up to my hopes but does not exceed them. Like Castles, the tracks here are vigorous and abrasive and the 8bit sounds are welcome. While not as melodic or clever as either of Castles perfect albums, YLHCSD finds their niche and will hopefully continue to explore the boundaries of this genre.

26. British Sea Power (Valhalla Dancehall)
27. TV On The Radio (Nine Types Of Light)
28. Gruff Rhys (Hotel Shampoo + Atheist Xmas EP)
29. Florence + The Machine (Ceremonials)
30. Trail of Dead (Tao of the Dead)
31. The Chemical Brothers (Hanna Soundtrack)
32. Nicolas Jaar (Don’t Break My Love)
33. Yuck (Yuck)
34. Liturgy (Aesthethica)
35. Fleet Foxes (Helplessness Blues)
36. Gomez (Whatever’s On Your Mind)
37. Wilco (The Whole Love)
38.  Mike Morasky (Portal 2: Songs to Test By) Videogame soundtrack.
39. The Weeknd (House of Balloons)
40. Dum Dum Girls (Only in Dreams)

Guilty Pleasure Pick: Skrillex (Bangarang)–I will not apologize for having horrible taste in music.
Best Unsigned Band: Suns–A band worth checking out. I first heard them when they opened for Crystal Castles. Hear the album on their site for free.
Best Live Album: Radiohead (The King of Limbs Live From the Basement). Runner Up: Rush Time Machine: Live in Cleveland 2011
Best Live Show: Crystal Castles

Best Film Scores

  1. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross
  2. Drive by Cliff Martinez
  3. Hanna by The Chemical Brothers
  4. Jane Eyre by Dario Marianelli
  5. The Tree of Life by Alexandre Desplat

Best Video Game Score
Portal 2 by Mike Morasky. Runner Up: Skyrim 

Worst, Most Annoying and/or Most Overrated Albums of 2011

  1. Lady Gaga (Born this Way)
    Worst album of the year. Worst artist of the century. Worst music fad of, like, ever. On Born This Way the over-saturated Gaga persona sinks to new lows by sings agonizingly generic and unoriginal pop songs about individualism (a contradiction if ever there was one) while sucking a legion of fans into a hollow vortex of conformist-seeking pap and prefab pomp. Just looking at that whore-id album cover fills me with rage and sadness.
  2. Nickelback (Here & Now)
    Go & Away. Somehow Nickelback has outlived Creed.
  3. Adele (21)
    One word review: HYPE. Corporate pop soul without an ounce of anything resembling soul. Everyone fell for it. A perfect specimen of the American Idol generation. At least it’s a step up from Amy Winehouse.
  4. Daughtry (Break The Spell)
    Spell Broken.
  5. Owl City (All Things Bright and Beautiful)
    All things except this wretched album.
  6. Bon Iver (Bon Iver)
    The most overrated album of 2011. Every song is the same, which would be fine if any song was any good. This album manages the feat of being worse than For Emma. To borrow a Jack Black line from “High Fidelity,” this is sad bastard music.
  7. LMFAO  (Sorry for Party Rocking)
    Not as sorry as I am.
  8. Destroyer
    Daniel Bejar’s atonal and maddeningly smug voice ruins what would have otherwise been a mediocre album.
  9. Lou Reed & Metallica (Lulu)
    What the hell is going on here?! I expect crap from Metallica but not from Lou Reed. This confounding album makes Metal Machine Music look like a pop record.
  10. Red Hot Chili Peppers (I’m with You)
    Another turd from the eternally meh Chili Peppers.
  11. Beastie Boys (Hot Sauce Committee Part Two)
    The longest running novelty act in music history. Just shut up already!
  12. tUnE-yArDs (w h o k i l l)
    aN eXtreMely-uNpleAsaNT liSteniNg expERiencE. i muSt-bE oUt oF tOuCh-thouGh becAusE thIs feMalE veRsIoN o-f aniMaL-coLLective soMEhoW wOn eVeryboDy OveR.
  13. Coldplay (Mylo Xyloto)
    A full relapse. A rush of blood to the bowls.By favoring generic pop to their last few albums alternative sounds Coldplay hasn’t sucked this thoroughly since Parachutes

The 25 Best Zombie Movies of All Time

Vampires may be the predominant horror subject these days but there was a time not too long ago when zombies were the cinema’s go-to monster. In these dark days of emo vampires, tween horror and torture porn I find myself missing those times, comforted by the thought that if there’s one thing we can safely assume about zombies it’s that they have a tendency to come back from the dead. The popularity of zombie movies may fluctuate but one interesting feature of this enduring subject is its uncanny ability to transcend, or maybe just embrace, generic conventions that would cripple most other horror subgenres. Fans (and filmmakers) of zombie movies are sticklers for purity and will doggedly resist change to a such degree that you can still hear people raging against zombies that have the ability to run. So how can a genre/subgenre that is past its golden age innovate and provide fresh new content when its core fanbase resists change? Do zombie fans really want to see the same thing over and over again? In a word: Yes. Zombies are the (raw) meat and potatoes of the horror world and change, it is must exist, must be true to the spirit of the genre. It is this constant balancing act of tradition and innovation that makes this genre so problematic yet so utterly fascinating at the same time. What the genre lacks in variety it makes up for in the hardcore loyalty of its fans who are as Legion as zombies themselves. There’s something comforting in that just as there’s something oddly comforting about our love for a genre that necessitates the wish-fulfilling destruction of civilization. You’d be hard-pressed to find a vampire the can end humanity with this much pizazz.

Below are some of my all time favorite zombie movies. Unlike so many lists that fans of a particular genre tend to obsess over it’s not a matter of what’s on this list of zombie movies but, rather, how the list is ordered.

1. Day of the Dead (1985)
Director: George A. Romero
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor (out of 10): 8
For some reason most zombie movies are stuck in the present tense; the moment monsters become real and the immediate aftermath of the outbreak. In 1985 “Day of the Dead” became one of those rare zombie stories to take place well after the zombies have overrun the planet. Not having to basically retell the same story of the outbreak freed horror master George Romerio up to explore the boundaries and moral/social implications of the genre while forging radical new ground. The zombie movie had finally take the next logical step in its slow but assured evolution. I am aware that I cannot call “Day” the “best” zombie movie ever without some qualification because it is, after all, a film that divides fans.

As someone who has sat through just about every zombie film outside of those countless student movies that ever films student, including those annoying kids from “Super 8,” gets it in their head to make (zombie films have always had a fierce independent spirit), I feel “Day” perfectly encapsulates everything there is to love about this genre. The action is contained in an underground bunker full of scientists, trigger happy soldiers and zombies. Outside of adding politicians you really can’t beat that combo. The horror is also palpable as you can practically feel the zombies groaning and shuffling back and forth behind the reinforced concrete walls, looking for a way in like ravenous insects. If that wasn’t enough the gruesome deaths that go down when they do eventually find a way in are inspired while the social commentary is brutally heavy-handed (Romerio always gets a pass for this) and, through the character of “Bub” played by Sherman Howard, the cinematic representation of “The Zombie” is able to step out of the shadows of soulless brutishness to become a fully realized and, yes, sympathetic character type. “They are us!” the film’s Doctor says in a defining moment that gives more chills than any of the actual horror. Rather than presenting non-stop action “Day” is the first, and perhaps only, zombie movie to slow down enough to, for lack of a better word, understand zombies in earnest: “It wants me! It wants food! But it has no stomach, can take no nourishment from what it ingests. It’s acting on INSTINCT!” By the end, when Romerio provides an undeniable glimpse of sentient intellect to add to the zombie’s signature instinct I feel it can be said that he perfected the movie monster. Of course the final stroke of brilliance is Romerio’s dogged insistence that humans are the ultimate monster.

2. 28 Weels Later (2007)
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 7
Director: Juan Carlos Fresnadillo
I am convinced that the best decade for zombie films was the one that just passed. Representing the apex of the improbable 00s zombie boom, the polemical sequel “28 Weeks Later” is the kind of accomplished modern horror work that I would put in the same company as the vampire genre’s “Let the Right One In” (2009), the alien genre’s “Monsters” (2010) and of course the giant monster movie “The Host” (2007). That’s a very objective statement since “Weeks” not only underperformed at the box office office but was rejected by many fans of “28 Days Later” for being too much of a departure. As such, “Weeks” is destined to live in the shadow of “Days” just as “Day of the Dead” lives in “Dawn of the Dead’s” shadow. For my money it’s the better film. WAY better.

Not content with rehashing the usual zombie tropes, “Weeks” brilliantly taps into a myriad of socially relevant subjects including the use of surveillance, the West’s futile “war on terror,” gene tampering and population control. I would go as far as to say that “The Hurt Locker” may have been inspired by this film when it cast the then-unknown Jeremy Renner in what is basically the same role (just substitute Arabs for zombies). The post 9-11 allegory is sharp and easily as complex as any of Romerio’s crude but lovable zombie-as-consumer critiques but it’s packaged in a thoroughly rounded product that emphasizes action, ideas and emotion. The film’s focus on a family’s tragic fight for survival in a massively quarantined England after the brutal outbreak depicted in the first film is the most poignant and well realized use of human drama in the zombie cannon. I defy anyone to find better instances that depict the gut wrenching horror and sadness involved in characters we really care about who “turn.” If that wasn’t enough this film contains what is pound for rotting pound the genre’s most superlative use of suspense and action sequences to date with memorable scenes ranging from “Black Hawk Down”-esq shoot-outs, frantic zombie chases and scenes shot in total darkness.
“Weeks” has been dismissed as a conceptually bloated and unnecessary sequel. I disagree and will go to my grave (then crawl back out it) with the belief that it’s the best horror sequel of all time without the word “Alien” in the title and one of those rare zombie films that’s good enough to be called important.

3. Re-animator (1985)
Director: Stuart Gordon
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 9
Not just one of the best and funniest zombie movies ever made but the only decent H.P. Lovecraft movie adaptation ever made. For that reason alone I worship it like a Great Old One and have watched this film more than anything on the list. The perverse joy of “Re-animator” was summed up perfectly by a stoned Kevin Spacey in “American Beauty”: “Did you ever see that movie where the body is walking around…carrying its own head, and then the head goes down on that babe?” Ah, good times.

4. Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 9
Director: Edgar Wright
I liked but didn’t exactly love “Shaun” when I first saw it in the theater. I found it to be cocky, over-directred and lacking in focus. Countless viewings later and those are the exact reasons I love it. In fact, I can’t imagine the zombie genre without “Shaun.” It’s one of those rare parodies that transcends the very thing it’s paying homage to–the “Spaceballs” of zombie movies! Even Romerio tipped his hat (something he rarely does) by casting Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright as, what else, zombies in “Land of the Dead.” I am of the opinion that after just three movies (four if you want to count “Don’t” from “Grindhouse” which you totally should) Edgar Wright is one of the best new directors of the 21st century and he certainly cut his teeth (no pun intended) on his first trip to the cinematic playground.

5. Land of the Dead (2005)
Director: George A. Romero
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 6
One of the best zombie stories of all time came out in 2005 and nobody noticed. Or cared. Sadly, that’s typical for a Romerio movie. Horror fans didn’t like it because it wasn’t “28 Weeks Later” and Romerio fans didn’t love it because there was CGI and, worst of all, John Leguizamo. Both are dead wrong, well, except for the John Leguizamo part. I get the impression that “Land of the Dead” is the kind of epic zombie action movie Romerio always dreamed of making but never had the budget for. It’s his “Intolerance” minus the self aggrandizement and zombie Jesus. A spiritual successor to “Day of the Dead,” this is Romerio at his most antiestablishment (which is saying something). The story follows that dude from TV’s “The Mentalist” (he lost the right to be called by a real name after doing that show) and horror movie royalty Asia Argento as renegade survivors who team up when they discover a beacon of hope amidst a den of evil. Of course, this being Romerio the beacon is far from hopeful and the den is far from evil. The allegory of an elite class (lead by Dennis Hopper in his last great role) living in a literal ivory tower as the tainted masses toil away until the very moment they suddenly achieve a twitch of revolutionary self-awareness is blunt but effectively handled by a director who seems to be having the time of his life. He’s not the only one.

6. Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Director: Zack Snyder
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 9
This may be the only remake in the history of cinema that benefits from being dumbed down. Snyder’s “Dawn of the Dead” is better than Romerio’s original. There, I said it. /opinion

7. Cemetery Man (1994)
Director: Michele Soavi
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 7

Inspired by “Dylan Dog” (the comic not the horrible 2011 movie), a guardian who works at the Buffalora Cemetery must defend himself against the dead who, like clockwork, rise from the very graves he puts them in. It’s hard not to love the poetry in that. It would have been obvious for Soavi to make this play out like a goofy or more zombie-proofed version of “Evil Dead 2” and, yes, while much of Rupert Everett’s after-hour Dylan Dog-ish antics are played for laughs, there’s a wonderful sense of beauty, romance and tragedy to the film’s colorful approach to the genre. The last shot is literally magical and makes a good case for “Cemetery Man” being the dreamiest arthouse zombie movie ever.

8. Zombie (1979)
Director: Lucio Fulci
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 10

I love movie titles that get right to the point because it’s usually a sign that the movie will do the same. “Zombie,” also known as “Zombi 2” has fascinating origins. Directed by Lucio Fulci, one of the most prolific (and best) horror filmmakers of all time, “Zombie” was released in Italy as a “sequel” to Romerio’s “Dawn of the Dead.” Except nobody bothered to tell Romerio that it was a sequel. They also failed to tell him that it was better than “Dawn” in almost every way. Ironically, the zombies-on-an-island premise that this film pioneered was adopted with disastrous results by Romerio himself when he made the worst zombie film of his career “Survival of the Dead” in 2010. “Zombie” may have many titles but most people just refer it as “that movie where a zombie fights a shark.” Fair enough. That moment, shot pre CGI, is very much apart of popular culture at this point (it’s even in TV commercials) and for good reason because it’s the single most inspired sequence in the genre’s history. It must be noted however that the film is full of scenes just as memorable. It’s that good.

9. Dead Alive (1992)
Director: Peter Jackson
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 9
What ever happen to the Peter Jackson who made “Dead Alive?” I miss him.

10. Return of the Living Dead (1985)
Director: Dan O’Bannon
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 10
“Return” came out the same year as “Day of the Dead.” It is here that a great chasm in the zombie genre began. That of the funny zombie movie vs. the serious one. Romerio may get the lion’s share of respect from horrorphiles but the first (and only decent) film in the “Living Dead” series imparted just as many invaluable contributions to the genre. One word: Braaaaainnnnnsssss. That’s one of many valuable life lessons the skeletal zombie known as Tarman has to offer. Another is “moooore brains.” Gotta love Tarman. The lighter but no less bloody approach is revolutionary and, in its own way, just as influential to films like “Shaun of the Dead” and “Dead Alive” as anything by Romerio. This is also the first time the genre featured running zombies. Even Romerio references “Return” in his not-quite zombie thriller “The Crazies.” Having written the screenplay to “Alien,” “Total Recall,” “Dark Star” (John Carpenter’s first movie) and the underrated “Screamers,” Dan O’Bannon is an often neglected figure in the world of horror and sci-fi. His parodic approach on “Return” may be nothing like the seminal titles he’s known for writing but you watch this movie and can just tell the director would go on to do many great things. Except he didn’t! Prior to his death his only other movie is an unreleased Lovecraft horror film called “Shatterbrain.”

11. 28 Days Later (2002)
Director: Danny Boyle
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 8
The great zombie revival of the 2000s could very well be credited to this seminal film. It’s hard to deny that Danny Boyle’s innovative horror work represents the next stage in the evolution of cinematic zombie movies both in terms of how it’s shot (answer: from the hip) and how the zombies act (answer: crazy). Some argue that the infected humans in this movie are not even technically zombies because they are not undead. That point is well taken but I must disagree because, well, if it looks like a zombie and bites like a zombie then it’s a fucking zombie. A man (Cillian Murphy) wakes up naked in a hospital, sprawled out like a post apocalypse Jesus, and must traverse a world that has gone mad… and hungry. Keep in mind this all went down before “Walking Dead” told a very similar origin story. The rage virus (unleashed by hippies freeing test monkeys, which, HA!) basically turns humans into swift, sinewy creatures whose only mode of travel is lunatic fast and whose only mode of attack is retard strong. This simple but crucial element adds a real sense of urgency to the once molasses slow menace that a toddler could hitherto outrun. The reason the film does not rank higher is simply because Boyle fails at providing a satisfying conclusion to what very well could have been the best modern zombie film ever made. Whoops. The third act is so bad that I too found myself infected with rage. Inexplicably, Boyle and writing partner Alex Garland opt to down shift this relentless tale of survival to end the story in a dark castle where an insane Army Major played by Christopher Eccleston goes all Doctor Who on everybody. I have no idea what that means but I just had to slip in a “Who” reference.

12. Fido (2006)
Director: Andrew Currie
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 5
Anyone complaining that they don’t make original zombie films anymore haven’t seen “Fido.” This 1950s era social parable reimagines our post-World War II America as a post-World War Zombie America. Now that’s my kind of history! Just picture “Mad Men” with zombies instead of pretentious ad execs. I’m amazed this unique approach has not been applied to all eras–zombies in Rome, zombies in Medieval England or why not “Cowboys vs. Zombies” (that’s already better than “Cowboys vs. Aliens”)? As a retro horror-comedy, “Fido” explores the “containment” and enslavement of a “subhuman” zombie lower class in a swank suburban town where ownership of these shock-collar equipped zombies become the ultimate status symbol. So capitalism + imperialism = Zombism. This isn’t a new concept exactly but what is new and exciting is how much more deeply the film probes this interesting social concept than the usual zombie film.

Directed by the virtually unknown Andrew Currie, the film centers on a pet zombie named Fido (played with great passion by Scotsmen Billy Connolly) that enters into a maladjusted family as a high priced zombie butler. As fleshed out as Romeiro’s famous “Bub” from “Day of the Dead,” this creature grows, learns, feels and even has a good influence on the mother and son who are desperately looking for a husband and father figure. A fascinating subtext of sexual chemistry exists between mother and zombie suitor. Talks of zombie wars of yore and a vast zombie wasteland that exists just outside of the fenced-off city walls by the corporate minded villain and WWZ veteran (Henry Czerny) give the film a vivid sense of time and place. Not quite an action film and not quite horror, the nuanced “Fido” represents a vibrant entry in the once thriving zombie genre.

13. Quarantine + [Rec] (2008)
Director: John Erick Dowdle
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 7
The rage virus subgenre scores another win! Two actually. “Quarantine” + “[Rec]” are equally good in my opinion. Not sure why people didn’t respond to the American version which is basically a more exciting version of the overrated handicam horror hits “The Blair Witch Project” and “Paranormal Activity” but with zombies and Deb from “Dexter.” Both versions represent a much needed modern approach to the genre where the handheld POV camera style and deft use of darkness and closed spaces adds to the horror and sense of claustrophobic dread. More so even than in the cult favorite “The Descent.” As a testament to its influence, “[Rec]” may have even inspired Romerio to apply a similar aesthetic to his divisive non-cannon “Diary of the Dead” entry.

14. Dead Heat (1988)
Director: Mark Goldblatt
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 1
A must for lovers of bad movies. I once broke up with a girl for falling asleep during “Dead Heat.” Okay, there were a lot of other reasons but that one cracked the top ten. Simply put, if you’re the kind of person who is not tickled by the notion that Treat Williams is in n 1980s cop/buddy movie playing a zombified cop named… wait for it… Roger Mortis then I don’t think we could hang. Forgive me if I forget how or why there are zombies in this cop movie’s world (I’m pretty sure I was under the influence when I watched it… which is the only way to watch it) but I love that as the film progresses Williams’s body becomes increasingly more dead-ified. Of course Mr. Mortis’s bodily deterioration allows partner Doug Bigelow (no relation to Deuce and played by a never-worse Joe Piscopo) to drop lines like “You remember when we were in training? They always told us, ‘You can’t be a good cop if you’re a dead cop.’ Here’s your chance to prove them wrong. You’re good AND you’re dead” and “You are under arrest, you have the right to remain disgusting.” If you’re thinking this sounds horrible, you’re right, it is, which is why it’s so damn good. If the same film were made today it would be all ironic and postmodern and probably have Jack Black in it but from an 80s point of view it fits right in.

15. Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Director: George A. Romero
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 3
Admission: I saw it as a kid and was bored. Admission #2: I saw it again last year and… was bored. Heresy, I know, but bored does not equal bad by any means. In fact, the minimalism of this film is what allows it to remain such a refreshing and effective alternative to the constant action zombie films I had been raised on. I respect “Night’s” place in the pantheon of zombies movies, not to mention its position as one of the first truly successful independent movies. Though Romerio, contrary to popular opinion, did not come close to inventing the zombie or even the zombie movie, he certainly can be credited for popularizing the cinematic zombie we all know and love/loathe today. Of course Romerio went on to re-invented zombies a second time on “Dawn of the Dead” but that’s a different matter. If this was a “most important zombie movies” list it would be at the very top. Oh, and as a side note be sure to check out Tom “Sex Machine” Savini’s surprisingly decent remake of this film.

16. Dawn of the Dead (1978)
Director: George A. Romero
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 8
“Dawn of the Dead” is considered to be the zombie movie par excellence. It is the agreed upon point of entry for the entire genre. I’m must be missing something because I’m not a big “Dawn” fan. More of an admirer. It’s as if Romerio hit upon the most brilliant idea for a zombie movie ever (zombies in a mall) and then just coasted from there. There’s lots of action but, unlike “Day of the Dead,” nothing to anchor it thematically or dramatically. It’s still fun to watch Romerio go through the motions and that’s certainly enough to make it a classic even to a non-hardcore fan. The movie does contain the best and most iconic line in any zombie movie ever: “When there’s no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth.” That’s horror poetry right there. Also, nothing beats the scene where a zombie is taken out by a helicopter’s propeller blades–unless of course when a similar scene was done in “28 Weeks Later” with 100x more zombie viscera than the leading brands. A few great lines and scenes aside, “Dawn” has just aged very badly and I’m not just talking about the horrible blue/green/grey zombie makeup, the soundtrack or the bad acting (I’m looking at you Fran!). The film’s pacing and direction may also feel stilted at times but, if looked at from a different perspective, are actually quite remarkable considering the budget and era it was made in. Like “Night” this is a film that must be placed within the context of its release to be enjoyed.

17. Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)
Director: Russell Mulcahy
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 8
I’m not being a troll here. Ever since Paul W.S. Anderson’s first “Resident Evil” was released in 2002 I became a loyalist to this despised but somehow still popular series. However one cannot be a loyalist to this series without also being an apologist. While I haven’t seen a “Resident Evil” I didn’t like (yes, even the 3D one had its moments) the third entry remains best in the series. I’m hooked by “Extinction’s” desert setting and the “Matrix”-style approach lathered on by “Highlander” director Russell Mulcahy of all people. This film is a prime example of people’s unwillingness to allow zombie movies to mix things up. Basically, what we’re dealing with here is “Road Warrior” with zombies. And slo-mo! And zombie crows! That’s cool, cool, and cooler in my book. I feel that the setting in a zombie movie is as crucial as its characters or the story and the idea to move away from the sterile hallways beneath Raccoon City to do battle in a sand blasted, post-apocalyptic version of Vegas (I would call it New Vegas but that name is already taken) makes for a genuinely original location that ranks among the best in the genre and is matched only by the mall in “Dawn of the Dead.” The heroine known as Alice in the world’s most pointless literally allusion is played by a Milla Jovovich who as here as if she basically discovered the “God Mode” (to borrow a video game reference) the entire movie and is infused with superhuman (and totally cheap) powers. She is so mentally and physically powerful and kills so many zombies that you actually feel sorry for the undead by the end. This annoyed many fans and backed the series into a corner, prompting the follow-up “Resident Evil: Afterlife” to strip her of her insane skills because we can’t have a hero be too awesome, can we. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

18. Serpent and the Rainbow (1988)
Director: Wes Craven
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 2
Wes Craven and zombies in the same movie?! Yes!!! Why don’t more people know about this movie? This tragically neglected 1980s horror film surpasses “I Walked With a Zombie” in consideration as the most “authentic” zombie movie ever made. Zombies, as we all know (or, uh, as Wikipedia tells us), are derived from Haitian Voodoo culture and Wes Craven, being the genus that he is, explores these origins with a more evocative horror lens than the usual film. Voodoo as a cause for the dead to rise makes about as much sense the radiation from a NASA probe, alien spore, divine intervention or virus explanations we’ve been given in various films. If that’s not enough to get you to see it I have one thing last thing to say on the matter: Bill “Lonestar” Pullman is in it. Sold?

19. Night of the Creeps (1986)
Director: Fred Dekker
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 4
A precursor to one of my favorite modern horror films, James Gunn’s “Slither.” Except instead of turning people into betenticled monsters the alien brain slugs of this movie turn its victims into zombies. Hilarity ensues. As does plenty of blood and boobs. Random, yeah, but a lot of fun from Fred Dekker director of another cheesy 80s cult teen film called “The Monster Squad.” “Creeps” has a very small but loyal following and I really hope Hollywood doesn’t attempt to remake this film. It’s perfect the way it is. The film was released on DVD not too long ago and is worth seeking. Useless fact: the nerdy hero is played by Blake Lively’s brother. Not sure if knowing that helps or hurts the movie.

20. Zombieland (2009)
Director: Ruben Fleischer
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 9
I’ve never seen a zombie movie in which characters squirt on hand sanitizer after smoking a gaggle or hoard or whatever the plural for zombies is. I’ve also never seen one in which the cause of the zombie plague is revealed to be bad hamburger meat. “You’ve heard of mad cow? Well this is mad human” the protagonist played by Jesse Eisenberg states in the most casual, “Social Network”-y manner possible. As a zombie road story the film is reminiscent of my favorite current graphic novel (and least favorite TV) series “The Walking Dead” by Robert Kirkman. That sprawling saga, however brilliant it tends to be, has zero sense of humor about zombies or the absurd situations humans tend to find themselves in a world run by them. As scary as zombies can be in theory, there’s actually something very funny about them. They’re dumb, they’re decrepit and they’re incapable of self-awareness or rational insight (insert Republican joke here). “Zombieland” gets that and as such is able to mine a seemingly endless amount of gags from the material. Not only does it contain the best use of Twinkies in a movie but the second best use of irritable bowl syndrome (Coen Brothers “The Ladykillers” comes first) and, as anyone who has seen the film might agree, the single best cameo in history. This film gives me hope that the mainstream can produce a decent zombie movie every once and a while. How sad is it then that it’s been two years since a really zombie movie was released? What makes matters worse is that there’s no end in sight given the lack of plans to adapt Stephen King’s amazing techno-zombie novel Cell and the fact that 2012’s “World War Z” is being directed by Mark “I ruined James Bond” Forester.

21. I Walked With a Zombie (1943)
Director: Jacques Tourneur
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 3
As if 1940s cinema did do everything better it also gave birth to zombie movies. Turns out the only thing Romerio actually invented was “Romerio Zombies” which, admittedly, are much cooler than the square zombies of the 40s. Still, this film along with “White Zombie” is essential viewing for anyone interested in the genre and I’m not just talking about Rob Zombie.

22. I Sell the Dead (2009)
Director: Glenn McQuaid
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 7
“If I’ve learned anything over the years it’s that you never, ever trust a corpse.” Grossing a whopping $8,050 this moribund 2009 cult movie has been rescued by positive word of mouth. It’s not just a horror movie but a crime movie, a period movie AND a comedy. The film, about grave robbers, stars Dominic Monaghan and Ron Perlman. So a Hobbit and a Hellboy. If, unlike me, you are not boycotting Netflix then put this title at the top of your queue.

23. Night of the Comet (1984)
Director: Thom Eberhardt
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 5
About a Valley Girl that survives (and shops) through an apocalyptic outbreak, “Night of the Comet” is to zombies what “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” is to vampires.

24. Dead Set (2008)
Director: Yann Demange
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 7
As someone who hates reality shows with the gluttonous passion of a thousand Snookie Monsters, I am grateful to the BBC series “Dead Set” for allowing me to cathartically experience what would happen if an outbreak occurred while shooting “Big Brother.” Even more admirable is the fact that “Dead Set” proves that a show about zombies does not need to be maudlin, brain dead, poorly written, horribly directed, or miscast (ahem, “Walking Dead”).

25. Versus (2000)
Director: Ryûhei Kitamura
Crazy Zombie $@#% Factor: 9
And least we not forget the East’s whacked-out contribution to the zombie genre. It’s the best (and only?) samurai zombie movie to date. I would love to see this series continue on in anime form.

Also recommended: Night of the Living Dead (1990 version), the zombie sections in Creepshow (1982), Dead Snow (2009), Beyond Re-Animator (2003), I Sell the Dead (2008), Zombi 3 (1988), Resident Evil (2002), White Zombie (1932), Dance of the Dead (2008), Diary of the Dead (2007).

Worst Zombie Movies of All Time:

  1. Night of the Living Dead 3D (2006, Jeff Broadstreet)
  2. Day of the Dead (2008 remake, Steve Miner)
  3. The Walking Dead on AMC (Frank Darabont, not a movie but I had to include it)
  4. Planet Terror (2007, Robert Rodriguez)
  5. Survival of the Dead (2009, Romerio)

Best Zombie Characters:

  1. Bub (Sherman Howard) in Day of the Dead.
  2. Fido (Michael Connolly) in Fido.
  3. Shark Fighting Zombie in Zombie.
  4. Tarman in Return of the Living Dead.
  5. Zombie Ned Flanders in The Simpsons
  6. Jay Leno Zombie, Dawn of the Dead remake.
  7. Big Daddy (Eugene Clark) in Land of the Dead.
  8. Undead Ed from Shaun of the Dead
  9. The water zombies Harry & Becky (Ted Danson and Gaylen Ross) in Creepshow.
  10. The old school Cemetery Zombie (William Hinzman) in Night of the Living Dead.
  11. And of course the ghost busting non-zombie zombie in Zombieland.

Best Zombie Video Games:

  1. Resident Evil 4
  2. Plants vs. Zombies
  3. Dead Rising
  4. Zombies Ate My Neighbors
  5. Stubbs the Zombie
  6. Resident Evil
  7. The House Of The Dead: Overkill
  8. Resident Evil 3
  9. Left 4 Dead
  10. Dead Nation

Note: I made this list for the site Inflatable Ferret which can be found here.

1. Game of Thrones

With all due respect to Xena fans, the fantasy genre never worked on Television until Game of Thrones came along and did for the Television fantasy world what Lord of the Rings has done for the cinema. The show is unlike anything else on TV (“it’s not TV, it’s Game of Thrones” should be HBO’s new motto). Ever. It is just about perfect and just about the best new show to come along since… I’ll need to get back to you when I figure out what’s better than this show. The setting, atmosphere, writing, characters, acting, action choreography, cinematography, production design, and all the way down the list to the show’s classic theme song and opening credit sequence. All exemplary. Assuming it stays true to the gritty, beefed up Tolkienisms of George R.R. Martin’s unparalleled novel series A Song of Ice and Fire, the show poses a real threat to the reigning Lord of the Rings series as the best fantasy adaption of all time. It goes without saying that it’s also, after just one season, the best HBO show ever, easily surpassing Deadwood, Larry Sanders and The Sopranos.

I love how the world of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros is so lived in. The world this show inhabits is of course meticulously sketched out thanks to Martin’s obsessive tendency to describe everything down to the ingredients of the food the characters are eating, the clothes their wearing while they’re eating, the eye color of the person eating and the nipple color/size should the occasion arise. The show is able to capture that without getting bogged down in detail. But this not the kind of fantasy world full of rainbows and unicorns. Everything we see is brought down to a human level. It’s hard to enjoy the jaw dropping sight of the wall (a miles-long ice barrier that keeps undead monsters away from the living ones) when there’s a steaming chamber pot (or pissing dwarf) just inches away. To watch this show is to become a prisoner to the beautiful and magical world full of wretched and filthy people. Realism is key while the fantasy elements are so subtle that it’s more of a Medieval drama than a full-on sci-fi/fantasy genre show. For now. That will change in the seasons to come (get ready for Melisandre!) and I can’t wait to see how the epic moments in the books such as the Blackwatter battle, a one handed bear fight (not epic, just great) and of course the Red Wedding of book three play out. As a promises of what’s to come, the delicate balance in Westeros underwent a major shift at season’s end with (spoiler) the remarkable final scene/reveal involving the fiery birth of mythical dragons long thought dead and a naked Queen Daenerys holding them in her bosom. Really, there’s nothing on Earth, er, Westeros that can beat that combo; it’s the basis for just about every awful tattoo for a reason.

I hope edgy hard core fantasy becomes a predominant trend because the genre really could use some teeth, grit, guts and cu… well, lets just say things that rhyme with guts. While full of guilty pleasures (the sex and action is unbeatable) this is a dark show; perhaps the darkest show ever produced on cable Television (or TV in general) and that’s saying something. While you never know what’s coming next, the one thing the viewer always knows is that whatever DOES happen, it will be dark, depraved, twisted and coming from the sickly depths of human vice (greed, lust, vengeance, all that good stuff). But not fantasy-genre random where, say, a Wizard could drop in and tell people what’s up. The things that happen, happen because they have been established/foreshadowed properly. Simply put, anyone who tackles fantasy from this day forward needs to study both this show and the Song of Ice and Fire novels. The one constant at play is, as I mentioned, everyone’s ability to be not just flawed but cruel at times. Yet not evil. Never evil. Motivations exist in event the most seemingly insignificant (Theon Greyjoy for instance, who’s journey won’t be flayed, I mean fleshed out until book 5!) or tragically underdeveloped of characters (King Robert Baratheon–whose real story exist more in brief references/recollections to the past) yet it all makes sense if you pay close attention. Characters that are fundamentally at odds such as Tyrion Lannister (who I would argue is the main character to the entire series) and Catelyn Stark or Eddard Stark and Queen Cersei all have perfectly sound motivations for why they do what they do. In many cases we would do the same if placed in any of their leather strapped shoes.

Season one of Game of Thrones showed us a world returning the darkness of yore. This is a realm that is long past the gory and magic of its own glorious folk tales. But there has been a quickening and forces seem to be shifting, stirring and awakening. A new era is beginning right here. Despite being on the precipice of a great void, clueless characters continue to plot, kill, grab for power, and land and petty titles as their reality begins to slip ever so slightly into oblivion; the darkness of winter the Starks so love to remind us is coming. Is that a literal winter or a figurative one. Probably both. We shall see.

2. Fringe
Season 3

Throughout most of 2010 I secretly knew (well, unless you read my obnoxious twitter proclamations) that no should could possibly top Fringe for Show of the Year. Then Game of Thrones came along and gave it a medieval curb-stomp, bumping it to a still great number 2 position. Season 3 of Fringe is as close to flawless as a show like this can get. The jump in quality from season one and (all but the last two episodes of) season 2 is off the charts; so much so that season three is for all intents and purposes a different show. A better show. A great show! Not since Lost seasons 4/5 and Star Trek: The Next Generation season 3 has a Television (or movie) series creatively saved itself as Fringe did this season. The show has done nothing less than expand the bounds of the science fiction genre. What started as tedious paranormal mystery of the week turned into a parallel universe show that turned into a futuristic flash forward, a futuristic parallel flash forward and ended traveling back into the past which will no doubt affect Earth’s future(s). With help from JJ Abrams’ writing team (though, like Lost, minus JJ Abrams), the actors/characters keep it all from becoming a goofy mess (as Fringe often was early on), grounding the expertly crafted impossible with a vital human element. The central trio of characters played by John Nobel, Anna Torv (who took acting lessons this season!) and Joshua Jackson (as well as John Noble and Anna Torv’s parallel selves) all shined and glimmered this season. Literally.
Unlike EVERY network show on right now, Fringe requires your attention and demands that you ponder the implications. That makes it must-see Sci-fi. As with all great genre shows, it’s not a matter of good vs. evil. The villains on this show, if they can even be called that, are doing everything they can to save their universe from being swallowed by ours. Incidentally, our side is to blame for the multi-dimensional merging. No other story arc was better or more compelling than that last season.

With a myriad of creative uses of science (people who defy gravity, androids, expiated pregnancies, people who can’t die, an ancient tribe of profits etc.) the show recalls the anything-can-happen wonder of X-Files when it was in its prime (seasons 3-7). That most viewers dropped out in favor of more episodes of CSI:NCIS:L.A.:Miami is sad but indicative of the retardation of modern Television watching. While (spoiler) Peter was erased from time and memory at the end of the season, the happy ending to the Fringe saga is that it is the recipient of a truly rare and anomalous instance where creativity was placed ahead of profit. We must give Fox (of all places) credit for understanding the value of their Fringe property. This is a show for fans. Not critics and not even a mass audience. If Fringe should fall next year as Firefly did before it –and make no mistake, it WILL– it is our fault. And by our I mean the fault of people too closed minded to give a paranormal sci-fi show like this a chance more so than the people who actually watched the first season and a half and gave up (as I almost did). Finally, the shameful Emmy neglect of this innovative show (every bit as good as a given season of Lost was) is a good argument for dismantling that flawed and antiquated intuition in favor of a new system of awarding Television excellence. Because, really, there’s just no way one can’t even begin to talk about the best shows of the 2010/2011 season without putting Fringe towards the top of that list.

3. Doctor Who
Season Who The Hell Knows

Last season of Steven Moffatt’s Doctor Who was a surprise in every way. Not only was Matt Smith a good Doctor (a really good Doctor!–not Tennant good though) but the show was smarter and more exciting than it had ever been with a welcome emphasis on the science and logistics of what the Doctor is doing. When the Doctor used his Tardis the show actually bothered to explain what he was doing. When he traveled back into time the show told us how he did it! Even if it didn’t make perfect sense (how could it?), it’s great to see the show evolve with a fine aged sci-fi complexity. Of course Doctor Who also maintained a deep emotional core thanks to the human anchor and best Doctor companion ever, Amy Pond (played so well and winningly by Karen Gillan). Come to think of it… none of that should be surprising considering Steven Moffatt was always the true genus behind Doctor Who. The second season with the 11th Doctor maintains the high quality I came to expect from the series without exceeding it. Which is fine because Russell T. Davis’s problem was that he tried to top and one up things too much and things got messy. The “The Impossible Astronaut” opener was solid. Nothing more. The Neil Gaimen episode “The Doctor’s Wife” featuring his Tardis come to live was a wonderful tribute to the show and it’s fans. I hope to see more of Idrid. Writer Matthew Graham (Life on Mars/Ashes to Ashes) did a decent Alien3 homage and created a great new character, the Doctor’s Clone. I also hope to see more of him even though he kinda melted. Oh, and there was a Pirate episode that easily surpassed Pirates of the Caribbean 4 (not that hard to do). And of course the mid-season finale was so good that I only resented the fact that there had to be a mid season finale in the first place. Seeing the show announce at the end of it that “Lets Kill Hitler” was a cruel enticement. Of course I’m saving the best aspect of the show for last: Rory. 

3. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Season 6

I can’t think of any television comedies other than perhaps Curb your Enthusiasm that have stayed this good after six seasons. Of course it took two full seasons to get into the proper wavelength that it’s on now but, still, pretty impressive. The Gang Gets Stranded In The Woods episode might be the best Sunny to date. And that’s saying something considering the season also contained a Lethal Weapon 5 episode (link)! Other highlights include the Gang buying a filthy boat (and sinking it), working at a High School, Charley engaging in a rat Holocaust with his trusty bat (“”sometimes I wonder if our lives are more valuable than theirs” he muses), getting stuck in an empty pool, burning a house down, and of course the wondrous Rashomon “Who Got Dee Pregnant?” episode in which the Gang tries to figure out what the title suggests. The look on brother Dennis’s face when he thinks it’s him is priceless. There is no question that the show is still hitting its stride and riding that sweet spot all the way to the bank, or welfare line as it were.

4. Justified
Season 2

Season one of Justified was damn good. Made my top ten last year. Season two blows it away with a more intensified, character/story driven approach. The show brilliantly tweaked the once standard crime-of-the-week formula to include more cohesive season long arcs that include a colorful southern crime family and the mostly compelling transformation of Boyd Crowder (Goggins) from an annoyingly flaccid fortune cookie philosopher (Hannibal Lector crossed with Gandhi) to a crime boss fighting the rival crime family (the awesome, scene stealing Jeremy Davies and Margo Martindale) who have the pot trade cornered. All the while, protagonist Marshal Raylan Givens is stuck in the middle… again. Timothy Olyphant is the heart of this show. He projects coolness and can hang with the best of Leonard’s protagonists, and that includes Chili Palmer and Jack Foley. Not surprising considering Raylan was the hero of two amazing Leonard novels, Pronto and Riding the Rap. Unlike a lot of TV cops Raylan is not shallow and his well worn Western hero personality begins to crack and splinter off as the season progresses. I loved the pair of high intensity episodes where the Marshal and his ex wife cover up one of her ridiculous money stealing blunders in the evidence room. It showed that the show was more than capable of telling a story without the typical formula of cop/criminal cat and and mouse games. It was not only a solid anti-redemption for Raylan (who was mostly by the books prior and a bit of a renegade after) but the filmmaker who made it, John Avnet, who broke the law in his own way by making Righteous Kill and 88 Minutes. By the end of season two, Raylan’s hardly even a lawman anymore and that’s when the show was at its best. But he’s also not season 8’s Jack Bauer, seeking revenge on everything that moves. He’s instead somewhere in middle; a complex hero worthy of the Elmore Leonard seal of approval. Speaking of Leonard, not only does the crime master write an episode this season (a real treat for fans of the show and author) but this season as a whole felt even more like one of Leonard’s novels with homespun crimes, great dialogue and, of course, villains just as memorable as the heroes. Justified is one of those rare crime shows on Television that’s actually worth watching.


5. Aqua Unit Patrol Squad
Season 1 (but not really)

Aqua Teen made BIG changes when it’s insane creators Matt and Dave announced it would officially end and morph into it’s own spin-off called Aqua Unit Patrol Squad. The major difference announced was that the Teen or Unit as it were were to go back to being detectives just like they were at the show’s start so many years ago. And when Unit aired one rainy day in May it was just that. The team were on the case, staking out an abandoned house on the sidewalk as old people shuffled by. Then they got bored. Ten minutes later the show was back to its old tricks. I love this because the “new” Aqua is one big hoax on par with the bomb scare they initiated. Nothing’s changed, which would make Aqua Teen/Unit Hunger Force/Patrol Squad the least spun off spin-off of all time which is appropriate considering how nonsensical the show has always prided itself on being. Actually I’m wrong, something has changed: we got a kick ass new theme grind house song by Josh Holmme and the show “moved” from the muddy banks of New Jersey to Seattle… except they didn’t even really movie in the truest sense of the word because my beloved Frylock, Meatwad, and Master Shake (all praise be to him) are still in the same house (somehow) with the same disgusting green Astroturf and of course still next door to the wonderful Carl. So what does this all mean? Nothing. The show is still brilliant and inventive and that’s all that matters to me. Sure, I’d love for the show to really change or evolve but this quasi-non-sorta-sometimes-re-boot is getting the job done like a Shake/Carl/Whoooooorrre three-some (which totally happened this season… well, as much as that can happen with a genderless pistachio milk shake and drunk and probably impotent Giants fan). Each episode finds its warped niche and explores the usual brand of random madness. Smart phones take over, aliens incinerate people from the sky, and a Creditor Predator rips people skulls out. The fans got screwed with but I’m fine with that because most ATHF/AUPS “fans” are not loyal anymore and only seem to be watching so they can gripe how it’s not as good as the early seasons. I have a scary feeling the show wont last much longer and if that’s the case (God, I hope not) then this was the perfect note to end on.

6. Downton Abby
Series 1

The British miniseries is not only not dead but thriving by the looks of it. Julian Fellows applies a similarly inspired upstairs/downstairs approach to this story as he did with the brilliant Gosford Park. The show is simple: a Jane Austin-y family with three unmarried daughters attempts to keep their Downton Abbey estate. As we begin to understand if not always identify with the family’s turn of the century (first world) problems, the show elegantly flips that on its head as we ALSO see how everything works beneath the shallow but well polished veneer of proper society. The formula works and, indeed, as characters prance about with their stubbornness and sense of tradition and etiquette we begin to understand these were most certainly not simpler times. Fellows is critiquing the pre-war English values but not rejecting it outright. The show also does not force too much pathos or folly on the viewer. The show conveys a lot of emotion and dramatic gravity but never tonally goes too far in any one direction. It works so well because it’s traditional but the mildly subversive politics, social jabs, humor and insights that Fellows slips in are fun and provide the Abby with an essential bit of period show flavor. Like reading a good book, watching this show cleans my pallet.

7. Archer
Season 2

Archer is as good as ever. So there’s that. Oh and… ~~~~~DANGER ZONE!~~~~~

8. Community
Season 2

The only show on TV brave enough to reference Farscape in a joke. Community makes the list for that reason alone. Okay, a few more too. First off, I watched the pilot and hated it. After a year of declaring Community to be about as lame as actual community college I finished the first season and was surprised to see this quirky show make the grade, going from another overrated and self-aware NBC sitcom to a genuinely original and entertaining comedy. If any show is worthy enough to inherit Newsradio’s anything-goes comedy title it’s this show. The show is irreverent but there’s a strange gentleness to how the characters act towards each other that I atypically responded positively to. I actually like these people. I can’t believe a show this odd is able to exist on a mainstream network. It may be set in a community college but, really, it could be set anywhere and still work. The setting is almost incidental and only exists to provide a context for the wacky antics of a tightly connected group of friends lead by Joel McHale. The second season shows no sign of slowing down or selling out or, thankfully, cancellation. Considering it’s on NBC that’s all very impressive.

9 Wilfred
Season 1

Yes, another show that involves weed. Hum. It’s great to have a comedy like Wilfred around. Fantasy comedies are notoriously prickly in terms of ratings (Andy Richter, Herman’s Head, that great Chris Elliot show that nobody watched etc.) but if there is any justice Wilfred has a real shot at developing a solid core cult audience. The humor is raunchy but the fantasy element (and by that I mean talking dog played by sardonic Aussie played by Jason Gann) blends wonderfully with the dark tones, creating a winning mix of laughs and cringes. The dog character never gets old. Ever. He’s horny, irrational and emotional. And stoned. That’s ALWAYS good for a laugh. Playing off him of course is a straight man and it’s great to see Elijah Wood find a post Lord of the Rings project like this. He’s not the first actor to jump into my mind for a show like Wilfred but his dainty or, pardon, “effete” and slightly off kilter persona makes him the perfect person to deliver lines like “Eat shit! Eat shit!,” to which Wilfred replies “Again, your tone says insult, but what I’m hearing is a tempting offer.” The chemistry between perpetually stoned Wilfred and Ryan (Wood) are what make this show worth watching, preferably un-sober. I just hope the high lasts. People need to watch this!

10. Louie
Season 2

Many call Louie a comedy. I can understand why but I don’t know if I could call it a comedy. It’s its own beast. More dramatic than people give it credit for but also absurdist and, yes, funny as hell too. Louis C.K. is always looking for new ways to tell old stories and he succeeds (a lot of the time). It’s as is Woody Allen and Larry David’s whimsical sense of place and situation invaded Louie C.K.’s psyche, but through his own filter of dark psychedelic madness. Often times, tender moments will roll by predictably but with a lot of charm only to twist and contort by the scene’s end, morphing into something grotesque and demented. You’ll be watching a sequence ripped from the romantic comedy playbook only to experience it’s randomly bloody denouement where, for instance, a homeless man suddenly charges at Louie who ducks out of his only to see the hobo trip into traffic where his body is ripped open by a speeding dump truck. His head is severed and “pops off like melon” then thumps down the street. Funny? Uh, yeah actually. The picture above occurred after a dramatic talk with his young daughter in which she tells Louie she would rather live with his ex-wife. What’s better than funny, though, is that it’s all so unexpected. If that’s not someone’s cup of tea nobody then certainly nobody can blame them. It certainly is mine. The only flaw is that Louis C.K. and his show feels a bit too self aware, indulgent at times about how good it is but I can’t really blame him for being perceptive.

Mini rant: I had the show ranked at #5 until I saw two HUGE season 2 missteps. First was the hour long Iraq comedy tour episode. Yes, Louie made a Very Special Louie and fuck him for it. It was overlong, self serving, apolitical, pandering and only attempts to do one “funny” thing with a lame subplot about Louie accidentally bringing his kid’s duck through his luggage and now there he is in a war zone. Wacky! Actually, this duck in Iraq thing sounds like a really great idea for a really bad movie starting The Rock. The episode is a bigger fail than the actual war. The second abysmal Louie episode was so bad that I rage quit the show (meaning: violently pressed the stop button). Louie has to watch the most annoying 13-year-old girl on the planet and for 20 straight minutes we are stuck in the worst version of Gloria ever attempted (yes, even worse than the Sharon Stone version).

Curb You Enthusiasm
Season 8

Pretty good… PRETTY, PRETTY good. 

Torchwood: Miracle Day
Series 4

Don’t listen to the haters, this season is just short of miraculous. After finding is footing in season 3 with the much loved Children of Earth miniseries the show once again shifted its town into a much un-loved Americanized formula. This time into a more social conscious parable about life, death and medicine. Doesn’t sound exciting but it is. The show zips around with all the manic energy of 24. There are also no aliens. I applaud the show’s willingness to try new things but if it wasn’t successful I would be the first to poopoo it because I didn’t really like the first two season of Torchwood. True, we’re only about half way through the season but I have a good feeling about this season. Update: Hum, the following episodes I watched stumbled a lot with some turgid storytelling but recovered big time for the final two episodes.

Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood
Currently the best anime show on Earth.

Damages
Season 4

Still have not began watching this season. I have no idea why. It’s a great show and I’m looking forward to two new seasons. So, what the hell, I’m “ranking” it.
Parks and Recreation
It took me a while to forgive this show for it’s first season.
Special Mention: Smallville
I thought Smallville would get better as it’s ten year run came to a close this year but it just refused to come together, often reverting into lazy storytelling tropes and one useless filler episode after another. The episode before the big finale was even a filler about Booster! Really, Smallville?! And the penultimate Wedding episode was bad enough to challenge the Superman saves illegal immigrants episode for worst episode of Smallville ever (which is saying something!). Still, there have been some landmark episodes this season–Clark’s “Reunion” episode, for instance, gave the Buffy high school reunion a run for it’s money and acted as a glorious tribute to the man who was and the man who will be. Also, Luthor was a fantastic episode that saw one of the best characters from the series, Lionel, returning and back to his usual evil ways (he was great this season–as usual). But overall the season was lopsided and misguided. In the end though Clark literally saved the day. The last episode FINALLY saw Clark becoming the man of steel and it was a glorious note to end the series on. Very few shows end with an episode that is also the best of the series but Smallville pulled it off. Note: I’m including Smallville in this list rather than the one below as a tribute to all it’s done (and not done) over the years.

Best Performances and Episodes
Performances/Characters:
  1. John Noble and John Noble (Walter and Walter). Fringe.
  2. Timothy Olyphant in Justified.
  3. Peter Dinklage (Tyrion Lannister) in Game of Thrones.
  4. Arthur Darvill (Rory) in Doctor Who.
  5. Maisie Williams (Arya Stark) in Game of Thrones.
  6. Philip Glenister (Gene Hunt) in Ashes to Ashes.
  7. Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Jaime Lannister) in Game of Thrones.
  8. Sean Bean (Eddard Stark) in Game of Thrones.
  9. Karen Gillan (Amy Pond) in Doctor Who.
  10. Charlie Day in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
  11. Matt Smith in Doctor Who
  12. Louis C.K. in Louie.
  13. John Hamm in Mad Men.
  14. Lena Headey (Cersei Lannister) in Game of Thrones.
  15. Jason Gann and Elijah Wood in Wilfred.
  16. Bill Pullman in Torchwood.
  17. Alison Bree (Annie) in Community.
  18. Anna Torv (Olivia) in Fringe.
  19. Nick Offerman in Parks and Recreation.
  20. Joshua Jackson (Peter) in Fringe.
  21. Bryan Cranston (Walter White) in Breaking Bad.
  22. Edie Falco in Nurse Jackie.
Best Individual Episodes:
  1. Ashes to Ashes. The final episode. Perhaps the best series finale of all time. And the series wasn’t even that good!
  2. “Baelor,” Game of Thrones. Head up!
  3. Almost any episode of Fringe. Except for the Waking Life episode nonsense. And the one where the chick couldn’t die.
  4. “Winter is Coming,” Game of Thrones. Premier episode sets the stage perfectly. Here we go…
  5. “The Gang Gets Stranded in the Woods,” It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
  6. The Doctor’s Wife, Doctor Who. Neil Gaimen’s brilliant tribute.
  7. The Cancer two-parter in Archer. Dead serious. Boosch!
  8. Palestinian Chicken, Curb Your Enthusiasm. A classic Curb episode.
  9. Community‘s “Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking” does a great job of making fun of the (annoying?) trend of documentary style sitcoms (The Office, Parks and Recreation etc.).  It also features Levar Burton, and that’s pretty cool.
  10. “Charlie Kelly: King of the Rats,” It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
  11. “Save My Love,” Justified Raylan’s dumb ex makes him break into his own department to return money she stole. The results are surprisingly good.
  12. The masturbation episode Come On, God in Louie. So God’s watching us masturbate… that’s creepy. Good one, Louie!
  13. The Suitcase, Mad Men.

Biggest Disappointments

Dexter
Season 5
Ugh. Worst season ever. And, yes, I sat through the Jimmy Smits season. The acting, writing and directing is all off and out-of-place. Dexter season 5 is not just disappointing but down right bad. The killer camaraderie with Julia Styles and motivational speaker/gang rapist season long big bad derailed a once great character/show. I can honestly saw the season only had one decent episode and can honestly add that I totally don’t even remember what it was! That’s how bad it was! After the wonderful season 4 (sure to the the peek of this show) I don’t think Dexter the show knew how to recover, let alone the Dexter character. He mopes, he kills (sometimes), and he goes through the motions. KILL ME NOW! 

Walking Dead
Season 1

First off, I’m not an angry Walking Dead comic fanboy. Thankfully my dislike of this show does not affect my enjoyment of the comic. When I re-watched Walking Dead after buying the Blu-ray I hated it even more than when it aired. But there’s the catch: I bought a show I didn’t like. That’s gotta mean it’s doing something right, right? Um. This new series from AMC is flawed (more so than Mad Men even) but where else are you going to get a show based on the best comic book series at this moment? I like the unflinching approach even when I hated the acting (it’s like Inside the Actor’s Studio with Zombies), writing and botched aesthetic realism approach by Frank Darabont who does to this franchise what he did to Steven King’s The Mist. The zombie saga has so much potential that to see even a tiny bit of that shine through during the disastrous six episode season run is good enough I guess. It annoys me at times that it diverged almost completely from Kirkman’s comic series–the zombie-less CDC episode was ambitious but dull while the Home Boy Nursing Home episode that Kirkman himself wrote was just plain bad–he really should stick to the comic. Still, the willingness to branch out and try new things is admirable and might just save the series in the long run. As much as I’d love to see Rick’s annoying wife gunned down by a madman’s bullet I don’t think the show will ever be willing to go as far as the comic does.

True Blood
Season 3 and 4

True Blood has jumped the fairy powder pixy dusted shark. To get better it needs to get back to basics or risk becoming a complete joke. That is, if it isn’t one already which it kinda is. Oh, not that I’ll ever stop watching it. There’s no better trash on TV. Season 3 may have been disappointing but it was saved by Russell. Thanks to him he helped the show make the case that even bad True Blood hits the spot. It wouldn’t be summer without it. The upside: season 4 is decent and by decent I mean not as bad as seasons 2 and 3. 

Breaking Bad
Season 4

Last season ranked here as my number one show of the 2009/2010 season. This season is a pale shell that only somewhat resembles the show I once loved. We’re only about half way through so it could turn around (probably will) but I can no longer pretend I’m as into BB right now as I once was. Season four has not captured my interest. The story-lines are tired and redundant and ponderous. Many episodes drift along with nothing happening until the last moment (which is usually just good enough to keep me watching). Some episodes even feel like remakes of the previous episodes. For example two episodes in a row ended with the whiny Hank Schrader discovering, then re-discovering that the Happy Chicken or whatever the cluck it’s called may be up to no good! Ya think?! The actors appear even more scattered and disjointed (is there anyone on BB that’s not a insufferable twat these days?) and the filmmaking is a jumbled mess of corny experimentation (ahhhh no more POV cam shots, it was annoying when Spike Lee over-did it ten years ago), annoying music drops that are meant to imply something profound is going on (but never do) and shallow artistic metaphors pertaining to nothing of interest (a water slowly going down the kitchen drain–I see what you did there!)–the first two episodes alone contain very little plot but a poop-ton of scenes that are either molasses slow (the protracted throat slitting in episode was a waist of time because we could all see what was coming) or retardedly manic (the endless Jessie drug montages–ugh, STOP!).

Mad Men
Season 4

Mad Men is still good but no longer great and certainly no longer what I would call special. Something is missing that was there in the first few seasons. An energy, a feeling an excitement. It’s not the same. To make matters worse the show seems to have run out of new ideas even though what it does, it does with so much style and conviction that it’s easy to forgive the fact that it’s just rehashing old ideas. Season 4 kept things interesting with the single Don arc but it’s also the worst season to date. That’s good enough to get me to keep watching but not good enough to write home about. Hamm is as good as ever though and I hope he gets an Emmy this year.

Boardwalk Empire
Season 1

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz oh, hey, look Paz De La Huerta’s nasty vag… Zzzzzzzzzz

Mildred Pierce (miniseries)
I don’t know what happened here. Todd Haynes needs to stick to movies. Preferable two hours or under.

 

Best Mini-Series or Movie

 

Carlos directed by Oliver Assayas

So good it made my list for best movies of 2010. Here’s what I wrote:

Weather or not you think it’s one of the year’s best you have to agree that “Carlos” is one of the most important and relevant films of the year, second only to “Social Network.” And it’s not even a film-film! It’s a miniseries but one of the highest order. Aside from the breathtaking, flawlessly paced and thankfully penis free middle chapter concerning the now famous hostage-taking incident by Carlos and his terrorist group at the 1975 OPEC conference, it’s not even that “Carlos” is the most groundbreaking achievement of the 2010. What’s great is more in the way everything is brought together under Oliver Assayas’ pluralistic umbrella. From razor sharp jump cuts to heated cultural interactions to disjointed location sprees to a fragmented sense of history and moral causes and of course the ironic usage of new wave music, “Carlos” is an explosion in all senses of the word.
The film is wise to borrow from the best parts of ”Traffic,” “Che” and “Munich.” It actually surpasses them in a lot of ways. What “Carlos” does it does so well and with such unbridled conviction that it does not need to innovate the crime genre it is playing in. This is a staggering epic that must be experienced in all it’s glory so no settling for the anemic feature length version. The weight of it all is overwhelming and even hard to grasp at first because I was so busy attempting to take in and absorb all the information being casually thrown at me. But once I realize it’s not about the specific facts and details but about the attitude and sweeping gestures then the film worked its complex magic on me. And not to take away from all the beautiful small and innocuous but no less important moments such as the sight of a naked woman on white bed in the afternoon, the way two people look at each other while drinking or even just the way smoke dances through the air. This may be the sexiest looking terrorist movie ever made.
Olivier Assayas has made a lot of cool films (last year’s “Summer Hours” also ranked high with me last year) but none quite like “Carlos.” I never quite knew where the filmmaker was coming from and that kept me as on edge as anything in the film proper. Is Assayas advocating Carlos’ terrorist behavior? Sympathizing with his cause? Mocking him? Demystifying a legend? It is not spelled out for us thankfully but perhaps elements from all four. I just can’t get a fix on things. The same goes for the figure of Carlos himself played so well and with such conviction by Édgar Ramírez. This is not a a film that attempts to explore and psychologically pick apart the man underneath the so called legend of Carlos the Jackal. A wall is always up on Carlos’s true feelings and his “cause” and perhaps the only cause that ever really mattered to him with was his own via self aggrandizement. Unlike a lot of famous movie gangsters (with terrorists being the modern version of them) this film is about the rise and… not fall but sloooooowdecline of a “historical curiosity.” Carlos talks a good talk but never quite seems to care about anything and so his gradual and unspectacular undoingis fitting. You get the sense that he would rather gaze at his naked body in a mirror, got to a swinging party, romance some commie groupies and of course profit from his professional terrorist activity than to make the world a “better place to live in.” All that and so much more is what makes this such an interesting character study.

Torchwood: Children of Earth
Torchwood finally arrives. The key: not only were the annoying characters from seasons one and two killed off but show actually treated the aliens as something real and scary. Rather than a bunch of fun but trivial sci-fi episodes Torchwood eschewed the camp and turned itself into a genuinely gripping thriller.

You Don’t Know Jack
First HBO original movie I’ve enjoyed in some time. And the first Barry Levingston film I’ve enjoyed in an even longer time.

Flat Out Worst Shows On TV
Fiction:
Note:
I’m sure there are worse shows but I had to have seen at least one episode for it to qualify here. So no Grey’s Anatomy.
  1. Glee–Glee is the worst show on TV in years. And the most irritating show to air since The West Wing. Hate is not a strong enough word here.
  2. Glee–loathing is a better word.
  3. Glee–disgusted even better.
  4. Glee–American Idol in a High School. How bad can it be?
  5. Glee–REALLY BAD!
  6. Two and a Half Men
  7. Falling Skies
  8. Terriers
  9. Dexter
  10. Walking Dead
  11. The Big Bang Theory

Non fiction:
1. Jersey Shore. So bad it’s…bad.
2. Jay Leno
3. TMZ
4. American Idol
5. The Colbert Report (I’m half hoping a Republican beats Obama next year just show the Colbert Report and Daily Show can get good again. However there’s no hope for Colbert; his shtick is running on fumes)

My Last 10 #1 Ranked Shows…
  • Breaking Bad Season 3
  • Lost
  • Frisky Dingo
  • Aqua Teen Hunger Force
  • Battlestar Glaticia (over 24 season 5, what was I thinking?!)
  • Arrested Development
  • Angel
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Going back into time to rank #1s in music.

1970 #1 Miles Davis (Bitches Brew). Can (Soundtracks), Simon & Garfunkel (Bridge Over Troubled Water).
1971 #1 Can (Tago Mago). Leonard Cohen (Songs of Love and Hate), Yes (Fragile).
1972 #1 NEU! (NEU!). David Bowie (The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars), Can (Ege Bamyasi), Steely Dan (Can’t Buy a Thrill),  Lou Reed (Transformer).
1973 #1 Genesis (Selling England by the Pound). Pink Floyd (The Dark Side of the Moon), Steely Dan (Countdown to Ecstasy), The Stooges (Raw Power), Lou Reed (Berlin).
1974 #1 King Crimson (Red). Supertramp (Crime of the Century).
1975 #1 Bruce Springsteen (Born to Run). Bob Dylan (Blood on the Tracks), NEU! (NEU! ’75).
1976 #1 Rush (2112). Steely Dan (The Royal Scam).
1977 #1 Pink Floyd (Animals). Kraftwerk (Trans Europa Express), Elvis Costello (My Aim Is True).
1978 #1 Elvis Costello (This Year’s Model). Devo (Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!),  Bruce Springsteen (Darkness on the Edge of Town), Kraftwerk (Die Mensch-Maschine), The Jam (All Mod Cons).
1979 #1 The Clash (London Calling). Pink Floyd (The Wall), Gary Numan (The Pleasure Principle), Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers (Damn the Torpedoes).

Best Album of the 1970s: The Clash’s London Calling
Best Song of the 1970s: “Born to Run” by Bruce Springsteen
Most Overrated/Worst: Led Zeppelin

1980 #1 Talking Heads (Remain in Light). Rush (Permanent Waves),  Elvis Costello (Get Happy!!), Gary Numan (The Pleasure Principle/Telekon), The Birthday Party (The Birthday Party), Peter Gabriel (Peter Gabriel), The Jam (Sound Affects), David Bowie (Scary Monsters And Super Creeps) , U2 (Boy).
1981 #1 Oingo Boingo (Only a Lad). Rush (Moving Pictures), Devo (Freedom of Choice), King Crimson (Disipline), Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers (Hard Promises), The Cure (Faith).
1982 #1 Bruce Springsteen (Nebraska). Oingo (Boingo Nothing to Fear), Elvis Costello Imperial Bedroom Lou Reed The Blue Mask Prince 1999, Pat Metheny (Travels).
1983 #1 U2 (War). The Police (Synchronicity), Pulp (It), R.E.M. (Murmur), Tom Waits (Swordfishtrombones).
1984 #1 Swans (Cop). The Smiths (The Smiths), Talking Heads (Stop Making Sense), Bruce Springsteen (Born in the U.S.A.), Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds (From Her to Eternity), Spinal Tap (This Is Spinal Tap), Prince (Purple Rain), U2 (The Unforgettable Fire), Run-D.M.C.(Run-D.M.C.).
1985 #1 The Smiths (Meat is Murder), Tom Waits (Rain Dogs), Skinny Puppy (Bites), Oingo Boingo (Dead Man’s Party), The Fall (This Nation’s Saving Grace), The Cure (The Head on the Door), Dinosaur Jr. (Dinosaur).
1986 #1 Spaceman 3 (Sound of Confusion–1994 Re-issue version). Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds (Your Funeral… My Trial), The Smiths (The Queen is Dead), Paul Simon (Graceland), Spaceman 3 (Sound of Confusion), Swans (Holy Money),  Depeche Mode (Black Celebration).
1987 #1 Pulp (Freaks). The Smiths (Strangeways, Here We Come), U2 (Joshua Tree), Depeche Mode (Music for the Masses), Spaceman 3 (The Perfect Prescription), Swans (Children of God), Dinosaur Jr. (You’re Living All Over Me), Bruce Springsteen (Tunnel of Love), The Cure (Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me).
1988 #1  Pixies (Surfer Rosa). Leonard Cohen (I’m Your Man), My Bloody Valentine (Isn’t Anything), NWA (Straight Outta Compton), Spaceman 3 (Performance), Sonic Youth (Daydream Nation).
1989 #1 Nine Inch Nails (Pretty Hate Machine), Pixies (Doolittle), De La Soul (3 Feet High and Rising), Spaceman 3 (Playing with Fire), The Cure (Disintegration), Nirvana (Bleach).

Best Album of the 1980s: Nine Inch Nail’s Pretty Hate Machine
Best Song of the 1980s: “Head Like a Hole” by Nine Inch Nail
Most Overrated: Beastie Boys, Paul’s Boutique

1990 #1 Depeche Mode (Violator). Pixies (Bossanova), Spaceman 3 (Recurring) Morrisey (Bona Drag), Public Enemy (Fear of a Black Planet) Worst:
1991 #1  U2 (Achuting Baby). Nirvana (Nevermind), Swans (White Light From the Mouth of Infinity), My Bloody Valentine (Loveless),  Massive Attack (Blue Lines), Primal Scream (Screamadelica). Worst: Red Hot Chili Peppers and Metallica.
1992 #1 Pulp (Separations). Nine Inch Nails (Broken/Fixed), Tool (Opiate), Spiritualized (Lazer Guided Melodies), Leonard Cohen (The Future), Rabih Abou-Khalil (Blue Camel), Dream Theater (Images and Worlds), Tori Amos (Little Earthquakes), Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds (Henry’s Dream), REM (Automatic for the People), Skinny Puppy (Skinny Puppy), Pavement (Slanted and Enchanted). Worst: Sublime (40 Oz. To Freedom), Pearl Jam Even Flow.
1993 #1 Tool (Undertow). U2 (Zooropa), Wu-Tang Clan (Enter the Wu-Tang), PJ Harvey (Rid of Me), Porcupine Tree (Up the Downstair), Blur (Modern Life…), Flaming Lips (Transmissions from the Satellite Heart) Depeche Mode (Songs of Faith and Devotion), Nirvana (In Utero), Suede (Suede). Worst: Snoop Dogg, Guns N’ Roses Spagetti Incident.
1994 #1 Nine Inch Nails (Downward Spiral). Pulp (His n’ Hers), Nirvana (MTV Unplugged), Blur (Parklife), Nick Cave (Let Love In), Dave Matthews (Under the Table and Dreaming), Morrissey Vauxhall and I  Worst: Hole Live Through This, Green Day Dookie.
1995 #1 Pulp (Different Class), Radiohead (The Bends), Spiritualized (Pure Phase), Blur (The Great Escape), King Crimson (THRAK), NIN (Further Down the Spiral), Foo Fighters (self titled), Porcupine Tree (The Sky Moves Sideways), Swans (The Great Annihilator). Worst: Jewel Pieces of You.
1996 #1 Tool (Aenma), Super Furry Animals (Radiator), Beck (Odelay), Nick Cave (Murder Ballids), Belle & Sebastian (If You’re Feeling Sinister)/Belle & Sebastian (Tigermilk), Porcupine Tree (Signify), . Porcupine Tree (Signify), Sheryl Crow (Self titled), The Divine Comedy (Casanova). Worst: Backstreet Boys.
1997 #1 Radiohead (OK Computer). Spirutalized (Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space), Super Furry Animals (Radiator), Blur (Blur), Daft Punk (Homework), Blond Redheaed (Fake Can Be…), Bjork (Homogenic), Bob Dylan (Time Out of Mind) Depeche Mode (Ultra). Godspeed You! Black Emperor (F?A??), Supersilent (1-3), Mogwai (Young Team), Elliot Smith (Either/Or).  Worst: The Offspring, Creed, Limp Bizcuit, Celine Dion.
1998 #1 Massive Attack (Mezzanine). Beck (Mutations), Dave Matthews Band (Before These Crowded Streets–I totally would have ranked this DMB album as #1 at time),  Fatboy Slim (You’ve Come a Long Way Baby), Marilyn Manson (Mechanical Animals), Gomez (Bring It On), Air (Moon Safari), Swans (Swans are Dead). Worst: Dropkick Murphys, Barenaked Ladies, Reel Big Fish.
1999 #1 Nine Inch Nails (The Fragile). Pulp (This is Hardcore), The Flaming Lips (The Soft Bulliton), Super Furry Animals (Guerrla), Blur (13), Porcupine Tree (Stupid Dream), Fiona Apple (When the Pawn…), Gomez (Liquid Skin), The Magnetic Fields (69 Love Songs), Tom Waits (Mule Varaitions), Cibo Matto (Stero Type A), Robbie Williams (The Ego Has Landed), Beck (Midnite Vultures), The Chemical Brothers (Surrender). Worst: Creed (Human Clay), Britney Spears (Baby One More Time).

Ten Best Album of the 1990s:
1. Nine Inch Nails’s The Fragile–best of the decade and all time. Also, NIN scores it’s second straight best album of the decade!
2. Radiohead’s Ok Computer
3. Pulp’s Separations
4. Tool’s Aenma
5. Spirutalized’s Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space
6. Nine Inch Nails’s Broken and Fixed
7. Pulp’s This is Hardcore
8. U2′s Achuting Baby
9. Nine Inch Nails’s Downward Spiral
10.  Pulp’s Different Classes

Best Song of the 1990s: “Like a Friend” by Pulp. Close second: “Somewhat Damaged” by Nine Inch Nails. Also, “Numb” by U2 is pretty cool (note: that’s the last time the words “U2″ and “cool” could be used in the same sentence).
Most Annoying Thing about the 90s: Sublime 40 Oz. To Freedom.

2000 #1 Radiohead (Kid A), Porcupine Tree (Lightbulb Sun), Godspeed You! Black Emperor (Lift Yr. Skinny Fists), A Perfect Circle (Mer de noms), Robbie Williams (Sing When You’re Winning–ranked #1 by me at the time… I have no idea why), Super Furry Animals (Mwng), PJ Harvey (Stories From the City etc.), At the Drive-In (Relationship of Command), Badly Drawn Boy (The Hour of Bewilderbeast)
2001 #1 Tool (Lateralus), Spiritualized (Let It Come Down), Pulp (We Love Life), Radiohead (Amnesiac), Super Furry Animals (Rings Around the World), Daft Punk (Discovery), Stars of the Lid (The Tired Sounds Of), Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds (No More Shall We Part), Muse (Origin of Symmetry), Transatlantic (Bridge Across Forever), Opeth (Blackwater Park), The Strokes (Is This It).
2002 #1 Beck (Sea Change). Porcupine Tree (In Absentia), The Flaming Lips (Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots), Nine Inch Nails (Still), Wilco (Yankee Hotel Foxtrot), Queens of the Stone Age (Songs for the Deaf), Trail of Dead (Source Tags & Codes), Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Once More, With Feeling, Doves (The Last Broadcast), Bruce Springsteen (The Rising), Tom Waits (Alice).
2003 #1 The Mars Volta (De-Loused in the Comatorium), Super Furry Animals (Phantom Power–ranked #1 by me at the time), The Knife (Deep Cuts), Belle and Sebastian (Dear Catastrophe Waitress), Muse (Absolution), Blur (Think Tank), Radiohead (Hail to the Thief), King Crimson (The Power to Believe), A Perfect Circle (Thirteenth Step), The Rapture (Echoes)
2004 #1 Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds (Abattoir Blues / The Lyre of Orpheus). Gomez (Split the Difference–ranked #1 by me at the time), Wilco (A Ghost Is Born), Muse (Absolution)Franz Ferdinand (Franz Ferdinand), Arcade Fire (Funeral), Mastodon (Leviathan), Annie (Anniemal), Badly Drawn Boy (One Plus One is One), The Magnetic Fields (i), The Streets (A Grand Don’t Come for Free).
2005 #1 Nine Inch Nails (With Teeth). Porcupine Tree (Deadwing), Gorillaz (Demon Days), The Mars Volta (Frances the Mute), Trail of Dead (Worlds Apart), The National (Alligator), Sufjan Stevens (Illinois), Beck (Guero), LCD Soundsystem (LCD Soundsystem), Fiona Apple (Extraordinary Machine), Coheed and Cambria (Good Apollo I’m Burning Star IV).
2006 #1 Muse (Black Holes and Revelations). Tool (10,000 Days), The Knife (Silent Shout).
2007 #1 Porcupine Tree (Fear of a Blank Planet). Nine Inch Nails (Year Zero), Blond Redhead (23–ranked #1 by me at the time), Daft Punk (Alive 2007), Justice (†), Stars of the Lid (And Their Refinement of the Decline), Super Furry Animals (Hey Venus!), Radiohead (In Rainbows), The National (Boxer).
2008 #1 Crystal Castles (Crystal Castles). Ladytron (Velocifero), Neon Neon (Stainless Style), Elbow (The Seldom Seen Kid), TV on the Radio (Dear Science), Beck (Modern Guilt), Underworld & John Murphy (Sunshine Soundtrack)
2009 #1 Porcupine Tree (The Incident). Annie (Don’t Stop), Jarvis Cocker (Further Complications), Mastodon (Crack the Skye), Fuck Buttons (Tarot Sport), The Flaming Lips (Embryonic), The Horrors (Primary Colours), Fever Ray (Fever Ray).

Best Album of the 2000s: Tool’s Lateralus
Best Song of the 2000s: “Optimistic” by Radiohead and “Party Hard” by Andrew WK.
Most Annoying Thing about the 2000s: Creed, Evanescence, Britney Spears, Boy Bands.
Most Overrated: The White Stripes

2010 #1 Gorillaz (Plastic Beach), Crystal Castles (Crystal Castles II), Swans (My Father Will Guide Me…), The National (High Violet).
2011 So far–in no particular order: The Horrors, Elbow, PJ Harvey, The Kills, Yacht, Tim Hecker, Radiohead.

Most #1 Appearances:
Nine Inch Nails – 4
Pulp – 3
Tool – 3
Radiohead – 2
Bruce Springsteen – 2
U2 – 2

Note: I did not originally rank Radiohead (Kid A), Nick Cave (Lyre), Mars Volta (De-Loused), or Porcupine Tree (Fear) as #1 the year they came out. The “promotion” is unofficial because I don’t allow myself to change #1s once I have ranked them so as to preserve the authenticity of the era.

Best/Coolest/Favorite Individual Shots of 2010
beware of visual spoilers…

Mother–It’s probably not coincidental that my favorite shot of the year comes from my favorite movie of the year. This brilliantly composed shot is indicative of Bong Joon-ho’s unique style seen throughout the film. On one hand it’s hilariously random. On an other it’s meaningful, and on yet another it’s just technically great to look at. I love how this shot represents the character as well. As the enabled mamma’s boy peeing in public, his mother not only looks the other way but insists he drink… well, whatever the hell he’s drinking; some kind of “medicine,” which, if you know what this mother has done to her son in the past, might not be a good idea to consume. After this shot, the son runs off and the mother feebly kicks sand over his pee. A great touch.
Monster–Alien sex. Yes, the screencap is two aliens banging, or I guess it would be called tentacleing in their world (or certain Japanese porn circles). This ends up being one of the best moments in the entire science fiction genre. Really! After two hours of action-less dread and anticipation we realize that the aliens that have “invaded” are creatures capable of tenderness, perhaps even love… just not towards humans. It is at this moment that we realize that perhaps these are not monsters after all. The lead characters sees this and are touched. I like how in this shot we see front and center the tiny human spectator dwarfed by nasty aliens doing the, um, nasty. Moments later we see tears in the human characters eyes. How quickly that feeling turns back to dread once again as the towering, post coital aliens pose as deadly a threat as ever.
Ghost Writer–This is the final shot of Ghost Writer. Papers floating down the street just as their author is murdered by the CIA off screen. It is as if his life force has been transferred into his his work which is ultimately also his undoing. Behold, the power of the written word! Polanski holds on this shot until the film ends. Ah, a perfect final shot. Iconic. These are the kind of big and splashy final scenes/shots that movies just don’t do anymore. A classic final moment right up there with Polanski’s own Chinatown.
The American–There are so many fabulous shots in The American. Seriously, almost every shot hits you like a really good album cover. People go so caught up in the slow pacing that they forgot to sit back and simply enjoy what was on screen. In addition to cool moments involving guns and/or Clooney’s butterfly tat (very metro), there are gorgeous Italian vistas to behold. My favorite however involves Clooney sitting alone in a restaurant. Think the ending to The Sopranos minus the family (and Journey–thank god) but plus the paranoia. That’s what Clooney’s life is! He is destined to be this guy, in this shot, at this time. He is a ghost, the anti-Danny Ocean. I love how ill at ease yet cool he looks. Something Clooney totally pulls off. The dude looks cool in almost any situation unless, of course, that situation is wearing a bat suit (I kid, I kid).
Black Swan (tie)–Perhaps I should have gone with Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis making out but, oh well, the shots that stuck with me are, first, the wing sprouting transformation on stage followed by the swan’s final fall plunge into the void. “I’m perfect” are the performer’s final words. A great big beautiful bombastic moment. She has achieved total perfection and used every last ounce of life to do so. Life and death culminate into an orgasmic moment of totality. The filmmaker hits you over the head with the heavily symbolic final act but it’s the exact right thing to do. One of the best final sequences of all time.
Greenberg–As much as I love the many shots of Greenberg walking around L.A. I feel a certain shot captures not only the essence of the film but represents Baumbach’s single most artistic expression to date. The shot is simple. A hose spirals aimlessly in a pool. Of all the great shots in this movie this one stuck with me. It’s a throwaway shot but one that captures the essence of the character and the world he lives in. Greenberg’s life is like that hose, spinning around in a meaningless balled of random movement.
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World–The punch heard round the world. Scott and his sucky band are on stage during a battle of the bands and stunned when Scott is singled out and challenged by Ramona’s first evil ex boyfriend. “Didn’t you get my e-mail?” the villain says to a clueless Scott. He has no idea what to do but just then his roommate screams “fight!” And like a robot that has just been activated Scott does just that, punching the advancing ex with an emphatic thud. Director Edgar Wright captures this kinetic moment brilliantly. We can practically feel the contact. One of the most visceral action movie moments of all time does not need blood or viscera but just a good sense of humor and a mighty wallop. Roadrunner would be proud. Moments like this exist to let Chris Tucker say “You got knocked dafuckout!”
I Am Love–The birds and the bees. I Am Love is a film full of beautiful sets and costumes and drama. All the period movie repressions are let loose in this shot/scene and the feeling is both sexy and liberating. Two naked lovers embrace outside. Nature, flowers, bugs and boobs. Primordial extacy.
Dogtooth–Party! Music! Balloons! Crazy people!
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World–Sorry for the crappy resolution (and the visible pause sign) but I captured this show on my iPhone. I just had to. Because a really funny throwaway gag is always appreciated. And just think, the film has a funny shot like this every few seconds! While I’ve been a fan of Chris Evans since Cellular (and of course Sunshine) I loved his ability to poke fun at himself and big name actors like Tom Cruse (Action Doctor is vintage Mission: Impossible). So, yeah, here are some of the movies you can expect to see Lucas Lee in. My favorite is I Hope There’s a Heaven because it looks like something Zach Ephron just starred in. As fake movies within movies go, these are some of the best.
Inception–Very last shot of the movie. The top is spinning and nobody will ever know if it will stop (reality) or keep going (dream!). A coy way of ending a coy(er) film to be sure but one that is iconic and went on to grab everyone’s attention in 2010. Personally, I could care less to explore the narrative significance involved in this shot because the film didn’t earn my interest up to this point but I know a great moment/shot when I see one. It will be in people’s minds long after the meaningless plot fads away into obscurity.

Top Ten Directors of 2010:


  1. Joon-ho Bong’s Mother
  2. Edgar Wright’s Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
  3. Roman Polanski’s Ghost Writer
  4. Mike Leigh’s Another Year
  5. Gaspar Noe’s Enter the Void
  6. Olivier Assayas’ Carlos
  7. Derek Cianfrance’s Blue Valentine
  8. Noah Baumbach’s Greenberg
  9. Nicolas Winding Refn’s Valahalla Rising
  10. Maren Ade’s Everyone Else

Top Ten Stories (dialogue, story, characters etc.)

  1. Greenberg (Noah Baumbach)
  2. Dogtooth (Giorgos Lanthimos)
  3. Mother (Bong Joon-ho)
  4. Please Give (Nicole Holofcener)
  5. The Kids Are All Right (Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg)
  6. Black Swan (Mark Heyman, Andres Heinz and John J. McLaughlin)
  7. Ghost Writer (Roman Polanski and Robert Harris)
  8. Carlos (Olivier Assayas and Dan Franck)
  9. Wild Grass (Alain Resnais and Laurent Herbiet)
  10. Buried (Chris Sparling)
Performances
  1. Ben Stiller as Roger Greenberg in Greenberg (Stiller’s Punch Drunk Love)
  2. Christian Bale as Dicky Eklund in The Fighter
  3. Hye-ja Kim as Mother in Mother
  4. Lesley Manville as Mary in Another Year
  5. Olivia Williams as Ruth Lang in The Ghost Writer
  6. Colin Firth as The King in King’s Speech
  7. Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams in Blue Valentine
  8. Tilda Swinton as Emma Recchi in I Am Love
  9. John Hawkes as Teardrop in Winter’s Bone
  10. Édgar Ramírez as Carlos the Jackel Carlos
  11. Mark Ruffalo as Paul in The Kids Are All Right
  12. Armie Hammer as Winklevossx2 in Social Network
  13. Ewan McGregor as The Ghost in The Ghost Writer
  14. George Clooney as Jack in The American
  15. Geoffery Rush as Lionel Logue in The King’s Speech
  16. Chloe Mortz as Hit Girl (Kick Ass)
  17. James Franco as Aron Ralston in 127 Hours
  18. Mads Mikkelson as One Eye in Valhalla Rising
  19. Amy Adams as Charlene in The Fighter
  20. Gary Oldman as Carnegie in Book of Eli
  21. Melissa Leo as Alice Ward in The Fighter
  22. Michael Douglas as Gordon Gecko in Wall Street 2
  23. Ryan Reynolds as Paul Conroy Buried (yes, Ryan Reynolds)
  24. Jim Carrey in I Love You Phillip Morris
  25. Olga Kurylenko as Etain in Centurion
  26. Alison Pill as Kim in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

21 Great Lines:

  1. The thing about you kids is that you’re all kind of insensitive. I’m glad I grew up when I did because your parents were too perfect at parenting- all that baby Mozart and Dan Zanes songs; you’re just so sincere and interested in things! There’s a confidence in you guys that’s horrifying. You’re all ADD and carpal tunnel. You wouldn’t know Agoraphobia if it bit you in the ass, and it makes you mean. You say things to someone like me who’s older and smarter with this light air… I’m freaked out by you kids. I hope I die before I end up meeting one of you in a job interview. Greenberg
  2. “Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!” King George in King’s Speech
  3. “Fuck this shit, I’m getting the bazooka!” Bad guy in Kick-Ass
  4. “Fill your hand you son-of-a-bitch” Rooster Cogburn (Jeff Bridges) in True Grit
  5. “I feel pregnant.” Hot Tub Time Machine
  6. “Machete don’t text.” Machete
  7. “I’m weirdly ’on’ tonight.” Greenberg (Ben Stiller) in Greenberg (great more due to the context and inflection in which it was said).
  8. “Okay you cunts… Let’s see what you can do now!” Hit Girl in Kick-Ass
  9. “We can do that ourselves. I’m 6’5″, 220, and there’s two of me.” One of the Winklevoss in Social Network
  10. “I have to go pee due to boredom.” Scott Pilgrim
  11. “He can’t drown two ghost writers, for god sake. You’re not kittens!” Ghost Writer
  12. “I need your advice like I need a cock in my ass!” Anette Bening in The Kids Are All Right
  13. “You’re a value.”
    Disgusted “I already know that. You didn’t have to say that.”  Greenberg.
  14. “And now we’re two people walking around with shit in a bag. I mean… I mean, what if we didn’t have dogs with us, and we were doing that? That would be disgusting. But, because we have dogs, it’s normal.” Please Give
  15. “If I’m King, where’s my power? Can I form a government? Can I levy a tax, declare a war? No! And yet I am the seat of all authority. Why? Because the nation believes that when I speak, I speak for them. But I can’t speak.” The future King George in King’s Speech
  16. “I partake not in the meat, nor the breast milk, nor the ovum, of any creature, with a face.” Evil Ex #3 in Scott Pilgrim
  17. “Hey guys I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy II. Check it out.”
    “You are the salt of the earth, Scott.”
    “Thanks.”
    “I meant scum of the earth.”
    “Thanks.” Scott Pilgrim.
  18. “Release the Cracken!” Zeus (Liam Neeson) in Clash of the Titans (the only time that movie and something good happened)
  19. “He punched the highlights out of her hair!” Young Neil in Scott Pilgrim
  20. Bread makes you fat?!” more Scott Pilgrim
  21. “Youth is wasted on the young.”
    “I’d go further. I’d go: ‘Life is wasted on people.” Greenberg
Memorable Moments (spoilers, obviousley):


  • The denouement of I Am Love. Rapturous wordless hyperbolic melodrama. Without any direct dialogue the ending floods the senses with images, actions and an overwhelming emotional sensation. There’s tragedy, violence, hatred, a broken family, a pregnancy revealed (a character passes her hand across her stomach) and of course hope. I love how the music swells as the pivotal scene unravels. The final moments of I Am Love move with equal parts grace and brevity. An ending is so powerful and so complete that one does not even need to have watched the movie to be moved by it or to understand what the story is about; though certainly watching is recommended as Love is one of the best movies of the year.
  • Mother dances at the beginning and end of Mother. She dances to forget. We, however, do not forget.
  • Just about every moment in Greenberg–here’s one: Greenberg gets Florence a double double from In n’ Out after she has an abortion. The first thing she sees when she wakes up is a juicy close-up of the burger. Another classic scene: Greenberg attempts to hang out with young adults is just about perfect. His description of them (see best line of the year above) is the most random and humorous (not to mention meanest) description of the youth of today I’ve ever heard. “There’s a confidence in you guys that’s horrifying.”
  • The final close-up of Manville in Another Year. Crushing isolation in the midst of a joyful family moment. Mike Leigh is one of the best filmmakers around when it comes to knowing how to close a movie.
  • Not only is Josh Brolin’s “friend” not dead (as he thought when he stole his unpublished/unready by anybody else novel) but miraculously looks to be pulling out of his coma after all in You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger. Feigning happiness (not very well), the tortured look of barley concealed despair on Brolin’s face is perhaps the best bit of acting he’s ever done. And he’s a good actor. This is one of the best Woody Allen moments/narrative punch-lines of all time.
  • Hit Girl’s introduction in Kick-Ass. See line above.
  • The King gives his big speech. Proving, among other things, that Beethoven rocks!
  • The swimming scene in Let Me In. A classic horror movie moment that, clearly, may never lose its impact. Michael Bay could re-make the remake and that scene would still probably be ranked here.
  • Samurai vs. Predator in Predators. Every since I was a child I dreamed of who would win in a fight, a Samurai or an alien. I know know. To only thing better would be to watch Joss Whedon’s dream match-up as heard in Angel, a cave man vs. an astronaut.
  • Almost any moment involving Christian Bale in The Fighter. My favorite has to be a musical moment with his mom in her car. Bale earned his Oscar many times over.
  • John Hawkes has a showdown with cop Garret Dillahunt in Winter’s Bone. More effective than the kind of showdowns where people actually shoot at each other. Only great scene in that overrated movie.
  • The Ghost finally unravels the mystery in Ghost Writer. Ewan McGregor busts the CIA… then gets busted back by an off screen car. Evil always wins. Is is logical that he outed everyone during his book’s opening ceremony. No, of course not, but the over-the-top setting makes for a more rewarding cinematic ending.
  • The trio in True Grit meet the BEAR MAN. One of the few moments in the film that feels like it’s from an actual Coen brother movie. “Do either of you need medical attention?” the Bear Man asks. Uhhhh, no thanks Bear Man. You’re awesome!
  • Hit Girl is shot by her father played by Nicholas Cage in a super-wide full shot. She is hit in her bullet proof vest and flies back like a rag doll. When she gets back up he says “One more shot than Ice Cream!” This is their idea fun. Roger Ebert cited this scene for why the film is immoral. I cite it as why it’s so special. Kick Ass.
  • Monsters have hot, steamy tentacle sex in Monsters. A great humanizing moment that brings tears to the actual humans watching.
  • Leo enters the lighthouse in Shutter Island and finds Ben Kingsley waiting for him. The moment of ultimate truth. Like the end of Dark Tower but 100% more insane. Literally. I guess that makes it more similar to “Memento.” Whatever. It’s a good moment either way.
  • The last supper in Of Gods and Men. As the men deal with their fates their fatalistic moments are captured in close-ups. Better than the actual last supper. You know, the one with that Jesus guy.
  • Milla shoots coins at zombies in Resident Evil 4. A great new way to dispatch zombies. I hate when people call this series uninspired. Tell that to the zombie with a quarter embedded in his brain.
  • Laughing at all the trendy L.A. art hipsters that unknowingly line up to see the world’s biggest modern art hoax in Exit Through the Gift Shop. People are very trendy when it comes to “the next big thing.” This doc exposes them.
  • The loooong opening of Enter the Void. The first quarter of the film consists of hanging out, making out (with your sister–eww) then lots of drugs, walking and… death. And the best part is that it’s now GHOST TIME, BITCHES! Now that you’re a ghost what are you going to do, dude? Go to the past to hang out with Jesus? Be a fly on the wall as they film Dark Knight Rises? Watch Blake Lively (not) take naked pictures of herself?…….. Seriously, you’re going to watch your sister strip, get knocked up, have an abortion and get preggers again where you will now be there during the moment of spooging? Ah, I see. Well, that wouldn’t have been my first choice.
  • Art and humanity achieve “perfection” at the end of of Black Swan.
  • The beginning of Monsters is actually… the end. Didn’t see that coming–actually, I did since it was the first thing I saw.
  • Another end-of-the-movie Shutter Island moment. Leo sitting on steps. The film’s final scene. This is a great moment. It comes at the end of the movie after Leo’s ultimate triumph over his situation (and mind). It is also a moment of utter defeat where, symbolically, the truth does not set character free but imprisones him as he regresses back into his fantasy world. His fate is sealed. Time for a cigarette with Mark Ruffalo (juxtaposed with the opening).
  • The final, one sided friending attempt in Social Network. The taping of the keyboard becomes an unlikely metaphor for a nerd’s ambiguous search human connection and, by extension, all of ours.
  • The blindsiding twist in Book of Eli. Didn’t see that coming.
  • Jeff Bridges gets off his lazy zen hippy ass in Tron: Legacy. Way more interesting than his boring son, the bland hero we’re saddled with for the whole movie. And as it turns out can still kick ass. Bridges becomes God crossed with Morpheus with a touch of the Dude abiding. Rad!
  • White guilt backfires in Please Give. Oliver Platt’s reaction to the line “I’m not homeless, I’m waiting in line” after after his wife (Catherine Keener) gives a black dude money is priceless.
  • Gordon Gecko hustles LaBeouf sorry ass out of like a billion dollars in Wall Street 2. After almost two hours of humble pie Gecko is back! A great moment in the vein of the one in Tron where an old-timer schools his annoying twit of a son (in law).
  • The incinerator sequence in Toy Story is improbably thrilling. Amazing looking. Very apocalyptic. And as good as any action movie.
  • The final shot in Pirahana echoes of Sam Jackson’s fishy undoing in Deep Blue Sea. Bring on Parahana 3DD, Aja!
  • Twin strippers do a pole dance in Somewhere as an Amerie’s “1 Thing” song plays. Stephen Dorff, in bed, looks bored then passes out. The film also put me to sleep.

Best… Random Stuff:

Music

  • Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross’s. The Social Network Soundtrack
  • John Adams, I Am Love
  • Hanz Zimmer, Inception
  • Alexandre Desplat, Ghost Writer
  • Clint Mansell, Black Swan
  • Daft Punk, Tron: Legacy
  • Nigel Godrich, Scott Pilgrim Vs The World
  • Lee Byung-woo, Mother
  • Daft Punk, Tron: Legacy
  • Atticus Ross, Book of Eli

Cinematography

  • Wally Pfister, Inception
  • Bill Pope, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
  • Kyung-Pyo Hong, Mother
  • Adam Kimmel, Never Let Me Go
  • Matthew Libatique, Black Swan
  • Martin Ruhe, The American

Editing

  • Jonathan Amos and Paul Machliss, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
  • Sae-kyoung Moon, Mother
  • Lee Smith, Inception
  • Walter Fasano, I Am Love
  • Luc Barnier and Marion Monnier, Carlos

Most Underrated:

  1. Monsters
  2. You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger
  3. The American
  4. Buried
  5. Live Flesh
  • Most Surprisingly Good: How to Train Your Dragon
  • Funniest Scene: Greenberg attempts to hang out with young adults. Then does some coke. #mistake Runner up: Waiting for Crispin Glover’s hand to get cut off in Hot Tub Time Machine was way funnier than it should have been.
  • Best Sight Gag: A lonely male appendage is floating after an attack in Parahana 3D. Then… gulp.
  • Best Moment in Worst Movie: The line “Machete don’t text.”
  • Worst Moment in Best Movie: a
  • Movie Most Ruined by Hype: Social Network
  • Best Sequence: The unbroken 30 minute shot that opens Enter the Void. Also Mother spills water in Mother.
  • Best Action Set Piece: Hit-Girl infiltrates enemy headquarters. Cuteness ensues. And blood. And bazookas! And freakin jet packs with gatling guns! Kick Ass delivers in every way on its title. Runner Up #2: the twisty room shoot-out in Inception. Runner Up #3: the big action scene at the end of Toy Story 3.
  • Best Trend: Artistic films making money. Are we back in the 60s? Black Swan, The Fighter, True Grit, Social Network were all hits last winter. Tron and The Tourist were not. Keep it up Hollywood!
  • Worst Trend: 3D sucking, then sinking–Hey lets pay more for horrible image quality of something that hardly even looks 3D. It’s as if
  • Worst 3D Movie: Tron: Legacy. Airbender and Clash of the Titans were obviously much worse in every respect but Tron was not only a huge let down but possibly the film that killed the surge of 3D event movies.
  • Best Character Name: One Eye in Valhalla Rising. Runner Up: Bear Man in True Grit. Nothing beats a direct name.
  • Underrated Performance: Olga Kurylenko in Centurion. Speechless and angry, this performance from Kurylenko (who was last seen sucking in that horrible Bond movie) not only surprised me but stuck with me long after the film faded. Her menacing performance as a savage warrior stole the movie. She even gives One Eye from Valhalla Rising a run for his money. Though she could cut your head off without hesitation there’s something strangely sexy about this character. Runner Up: Gary Oldman as Carnegie in Book of Eli and Elias Koteas as The Polieceman in Let Me In.
  • Best Death (spoiler a-comin’…): Double kill! The Samurai and Predator deliver a double death blow (not the gay kind either). Also, the crazy microwave scene from Kick Ass and the opening to Monsters.
  • Best Bad-Ass: John Hawks in Winter’s Bone.
  • Second Best Bad-Ass: Hit Girl.
  • Best animal or performance: The King’s Corgis in The King’s Speech. Also, the chicken in Social Network, the unfortunate cat in Dogtooth, and the Sheep stuck in mud in Robin Hood.
  • Best Boobage: None. Nekkedness in movies has hit an all-time low. The 80s and 90s are long gone.
  • Movie So Weird that I’m Not Sure if I Loved it or Hated It: (tie) Super and Book of Eli. Both seemed destined for cult status.
  • Good Movie Ruined by a Bad Central Performance: Animal Kingdom
  • Bad Movie (Almost) Saved By A Performance: Jackie Chan in Karate Kid
  • Most Miscast: Ellen Page in Inception. Oddly enough she was much better in Super.
  • Best Inanimate Object: The book in Ghost Writer, the Jetpack in Kick-Ass, the never-dying camera James Franco uses in 127 Hours, Greenberg’s copy of Heretics of Dune (try spotting all of Dune’s cameos).
  • Great Movies I Watched But Saved for 2011 (their true US release date). Uncle and Certified Copy. Both guaranteed a spot on this year’s list.
  • Movies I Should Have Watched: Agora, Chloe, and of course White Material. Shame on me for being so lazy and not giving these promising titles a chance.
Best Theatrical Posters:

Worst Poster: Takers. Look at this poster! Bad photoshop job. Fire whoever made it. Runner Up: Black Swan. Not only spoils the movie but, when shot in close-up, looks really bad. So bad that it lessens the effect of when you see the full transformation int he movie. So bad that was being mocked by Jim Carey and Tyler Perry. I hate this poster for the same reason I hate the magazine Fangoria. Some monsters should just remain in the dark.

 

Full Best-of List Here:
I’m not happy with how I ranked some of these films but it’s too late to change. Some nagging concerns: that I may have ranked Kids Are All Right too low. That Blue Valentine should have been in my top ten but that would mean losing Carlos and I just can’t let that happen. That ranking Social Network so low was a knee jerk reaction to the insane amount of hype that film got. That Black Swan will either get better with a second viewing and move up on the list or be rediclous now that I’m more objective about it and fall off it. That Monsters ranked too low. Also, the internal debate as to what really is, or, I guesss was the #1 movie of the year ragges on–if I could have a five-way tie for the top spot I would.
  1. Mother
  2. Greenberg
  3. Scott Pilgrim
  4. Ghost Writer
  5. Another Year
  6. Kick Ass
  7. Enter the Void
  8. Dogtooth
  9. Shutter Island
  10. Carlos
  11. Blue Valentine
  12. Wild Grass
  13. Of Gods and Men
  14. Everyone Else
  15. The Fighter
  16. I Am Love
  17. You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger
  18. Monsters
  19. Never Let Me Go
  20. The King’s Speech
  21. Predators
  22. Valahalla Rising
  23. Please Give
  24. Exit Through the Gift Shop
  25. Black Swan
  26. Social Network
  27. Final Flesh
  28. True Grit
  29. The Kids Are All Right
  30. Let Me In

1. Mother
Bong Joon-ho

Bong Joon-ho has once again made a crime film that defies the genre it thrives in. It’s nothing short of a monumental achievement. I come away from this movie thinking about the curious sense of humor in the first half, indelible drama in the last and all the brilliant touches in between. When a young girl in a small town is found dead, lazy authorities (are there any other kind in Bong’s films?) pin the crime on Do-joon, the village idiot. Normally that would be the end of the matter but this idiot (don’t call him a “retard” or he’ll freak) happens to have a mother that will not quit until her son is free and back at home sleeping in the same bed with her.

Do-joon’s mother has no name beyond “mother” and possesses a fierce sense of loyalty that is equal only to her eccentricities. As Oedipal movie Moms go she manages to outdo Eleanor Shaw from “Manchurian Candidate.” Her warm and motherly advice to her imprisoned son: “Even if you did do it you have to deny it.” “Mother” is about a woman’s journey to uncover the truth and simultaneous unwillingness to face the truth or for that matter deal with her own actions past and present. She is haunted but tirelessly marches forward with the drive of a hunting shark. Mama wants her son back and that’s all there is too it. Except it’s not all. There’s so much going on beneath the surface. The film, aided by such a unique character and performance by Hye-ja Kim, is not on a moral crusade and never goes soft on us. In fact as I continued to watch this quasi-thriller/quasi-drama/quasi-comedy unfold I realized, with a wicked sense of amusement, that this cuddly old mother figure is more fierce than any cop or killer in town.

Not one scene in this movie ends without something inspired or unexpected happening. Its uniqueness is a marvel. ”Mother” also has an uncanny eye for detail, pacing and beautiful shot compositions (see picture above) and easily ranks as the best directed released of 2010. I was on the fence as to what movie to select as my #1 (basically it’s a four-way tie this year) but that gave it the edge… as it should. Oh but the writing (also by Bong) is also flawless! Fantastic story twists and aesthetic quirks give this film so much personality that don’t even know where to begin when attempting to describing what it does. I’ve watched “Mother” three times and catch something new every time–the way viscous blood settles on the floor, the movement of tiny figures across huge landscapes, Edward Yang-level shots that capture character actions through windows and doorways, mother’s shadow as it is cast over mourners, artfully captured candid close-ups that are held for an unnaturally long time, spilled water cascading towards a finger and threatening to give away mother’s position as she sneaks around a sleeping man’s house (one of many great Hitchcock touches), mother dancing at the beginning and end of the film (the film’s defining scene) and of course a ”Rashomon”-effect that kicks in when we find out who killed the young girl. The’ll even be shots that depict a dead serious situations (like a key moment with mother on a bus) that are hard to focus exclusively on because something crazy will be going on in the same shot. Moments like those (and countless more) are enveloped by a story that is masterfully straightforward and elegant. Strange how a film this idiosyncratic can also have so much classic film sense.

How did “Mother” not make more #1s? Why wasn’t it screened in-competition at Cannes? Why didn’t the Academy see its brilliance after South Korea submitted it as its official entry? Why didn’t Hye-ja Kim win more acting awards? Most of all, why isn’t Bong  Joon-ho every movie a worldwide event? There is only a handful of “new”  filmmakers from the last ten or so years that I would consider truly worthy of note. In no particular order they would be Kelly Reichardt (“Wendy and Lucy”), Apichatpong Weerasethakul (“Syndromes and a Century”), Chan-wook Park (“Vengeance” trilogy, “Thirst”), Joe Wright (“Pride and Prejudice,” “Hanna”), Edgar Wright (see the #3 film below), Richard Kelly (“Donnie Darko,” ‘Southland Tales”) and for kicks I would also throw Zach Snyder into the mix (the fact that we know his name, can spot his style and have an opinion on why or why not we should consider him “important” only proves his cultural relevancy). At the very top of my list however would be South Korean filmmaker Bong Joon-ho and it’s “Mother” that seals his status as a modern auteur. While “Mother” is more on “Memories of Murder’s” wavelength than that of his eco-monster movie “The Host” and “Barking Dogs Never Bite,” it is every bit as good as those titles and for that matter every bit as good as anything anyone has made in years. Most directors would kill to have made three films as good as Joon-ho Bong has in their entire career but he’s just getting started.

2. Greenberg
Noah Baumbach

“A shrink said to me once that I have trouble living in the present, so I linger on the past because I felt like I never really lived it in the first place, you know?” I sure do. “Greenberg” is the best Woody Allen film that Woody Allen never made. While set in L.A. and edgier than most of Allen’s work save for perhaps “Deconstructing Harry,” the (now) legendary writer/director Noah Baumbach taps into the same outsider’s rage with his new film. “Greenberg” is not only Baumbach’s best film to date best his best made film–for once his filmmaking and sense of style is able to go toe-to-toe with his fascinating script and characters.

About a loathsome man house sitting for his rich brother, Roger Greenberg makes everyone’s life he encounters just a little worse; Greenberg is nasty and selfish, yes, but the anger that emits from his toxic core is true to the character and not included without some considerable thought or insight. Unlike many similar angry-man-child films out there “Greenberg” is not aimless in its cynicism and does not take its iconoclastic character’s seething, silver tongued slacker attitude for granted. Thankfully it also does not coyly offer him up to us as some miserable buffoon that we are meant to laugh at. If anything, Baumbach is brave in his attempt to deal with such a prickly figure. In true post-”Squid and the Whale” fashion, you’re not asked to sympathize with this highly intellectual mess of a character, only to spend a few hours with him and develop your own impressions. For most people I know (especially women) that means hatingthe ever loving crap out of Greenberg(and the movie that’s named after him) but from my point of view, and for better or worse, I don’t think I related to a movie or character more in 2010. When an enlightened L.A. soul gave me advice one day to be a “fountain and not a drain” I was thrilled and instantly thought “that’s something that someone would have also said to Greenberg!”

Unlike a lot of characters in the mostly uninspired fish-out-of-water genre, Greenberg is stubborn, unchanging and, in a lot of ways, not nearly as horrible as all the “normal” L.A. bores who think they have it all figured. I like how his stink wafts though the pretentious streets of L.A. like an aimless plague of nebbish anxiety. The film has a strange affection for L.A. that’s hard to put into words but easy to understand. I’ve also lived in L.A. all my life and also love it despite it not loving me. The underrated (when he’s not overrated) Ben Stiller plays Greenberg in his most complex performance to date. Even something as simple as his him struggling to fill out a grocery list (all he can think of is whiskey and ice cream sandwiches) or constant application of ChapStick (OCD?) is memorably handled and a smart way of explaining who this character is by simply observing his myriad idiosyncrasies.

The film belongs to Stiller while it’s heart belongs to Greta Gerwig’s Florence, the exasperated “love interest” that is revolted and charmed by this troubled man. She’s not the only one. She even finds time to sum the character up with more of that condescending L.A. self-help advice that I just love: “hurt people hurt people.” The dialogue is just about perfect in this movie. Never straining to be too clever but smart, funny and believable which is not something I often see in independent movies. “I’m weirdly ‘on’ tonight” Rodger chirps to his friend Ivan (Rhys Ifans who manages to be funny without doing anything funny) as he steamrolls through yet another one-sided/self-centered conversation. Like Ifans and Stiller’s characters, the film is dramatic primarily but, within that dramatic realm, happens to be hilarious. As for that “hurt people hurt people” line, well Greenberg thinks it’s “kind of trite but it stuck with me.” Well said.

I’ve watched “Greenberg” four times since it was released early last year. It gets better every time I see it.

3. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
Edgar Wright

In a year when film once again manages to hit a new artistic lows, surpasses yet again by television and video games, I am thankful to “Pilgrim” for reminding me that the cinema can be enjoyable and well made in equal proportions.
Edgar Wright, the most inspired comic movie maker since the days of Chaplin, has crafted something truly unique to the superhero genre. While only his first comic book adaption (he chose wisely) you would think Wright has been making films like this for years. So much story and visual information is covered in such an enjoyably madcap manner that, upon further viewings, I constantly found myself pausing just to look at mise-en-scène or take in one of the many layers of cleverness.
Like his brilliant zombie comedy “Shaun of the Dead” and somehow even more brilliant cop themed “Hot Fuzz,” “Scott Pilgrim” is, in a word, dense. Drawing upon a surreal concoction of “Looney Tunes” meets, uhh, Jean Luc Godard, every second yields pleasures, some hidden and some smacking you right in the face. Could be a split second sight gag (Lucas Lee’s movie posters), a funny line (“bread makes you fat?”), a funny flash-back, a funny action (the inner knee tap that orgasmicly disables Roxy), funny blocking, funny reoccurring motifs (the letter X=ex, each evil ex wearingtheir respective numbers into battle etc.), clever if not always funny play on words (“you were a VEGON, now you will BE GONE”), funny expressions (the characters react hilariously to Knives Chow getting the highlights knocked out of her hair), funny reactions to funny expressions (“what, I’m not afraid to hit a girl” the guy who punched Knives says), funny text scribbled across the screen (the game ending “Continue?” prompt pops upon death–I hate when that happens) , funny editing cuts (LOTS), funny actual cuts (made, in one scene, by pixilated light sabers–COOL!!!) funny references to the original comic (at a party Comeau implies the movie we’re watchingis “not as good as the comic”), the myriad video game references (1ups and such) and of course special effects straight out of a cartoon (Scott getting thrown into a buildingcomes to mind). “Pilgrim,” like its eponymous character, tries so hard that even when it (and he) says something stupid or falls on its face you root for it to get back up and continue doing what it’s doing.

This is a movie that was made to be enjoyed but can also practically be studied for all the technique on display. It makes sense that it’s a cult movie but could have just as easily been enjoyed by so many more if only they were more open-minded. It’s not just about a nerd, but a nerd who loves video games. And music. And isn’t very ambitious. Or smart. And is a jerk. Ah, I can see how that doesn’t appeal to a lot of people outside of the white-male-raised-by-Super-Nintendo demo. For those in it, though, this is a fairy tale for the digital age. Not only is Wright’s film well made (it’s editing, adapted screenplay and cinematography are all the best of the year) but the casting is right on the money. Michael Cera may be hit or miss (still tryingto forget that other 2010 movie featuring Cera and his evil doppelgänger, “Youth in Revolt”) but, daym, he IS Scott. Every stammer, grin and (literally) empty headed blurb is vintage Cera and vintage Scott.

This is a living breathing cartoon that only lets up when it’s being awkwardly romantic. His love interest, Ramona Flowers, is played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead (whom I’ve had a crush on well before Scott!!!). Of course in this world Scott must battle Ramona’s seven evil exes and as a bonus two of the seven are played by the Capt America of the future (Chris Evans, bro-ing it up with great pleasure) and Superman of the past (the underrated Brandon Routh steals scenes as a Super Vegan). I could continue blabbing about how much I appreciate this movie and how much it has grown on me in a few short months since its disappointing release (surpassing even the comic in a lot of ways) and, most of all, how much it disturbs me to say that Armand White’s pick for the #1 movie of the year is actually quite wise and progressive. I’ll cut my effusive ramblings short because, the way I figure, the less time I spend talking about “Scott Pilgrim” only translates into more time I can be watching it.

4. Ghost Writer 
Roman Polanski

New Hollywood titans Roman Polanski and Martin Scorsese opened their respective films on the same day in 2010. Both films were thrillers and both happened to open with the glum image of a boat traversing chilly water before docking on an ominous island. Oh, and both were… really good! But where as “Shutter Island” plunges into the murky depths of psycho-fantasy, “Ghost Writer” sticks with it and doggedly attempts to unearth the dark mystery at hand. With a story about politicians that lie, governments that kill and writers that, well, write, this is “Chinatown” for the 21st Century only with GPS car navigators and cell phones instead of chatty cab drivers and shadowy phone booths. “Ghost” is a very clean and efficient movie that, like it’s workhorse writer, has a job to do and does it as efficiently as possible. Roman Polanski understands that more and different is not necessary better –especially with regards to the neo-noir– so he wrote and directed “Ghost Writer” exactly as it should be and as good as it can be. This perfectly crafted film is methodical (others might call it slow but screw them) in the way it depicts the riveting transition of a ghost writer with literally no-name (apt) to a glorified journalistic gumshoe in over his head. What begins as a in-and-out writing assignment (“you name it, he ghosts it”) turns into a murder mystery and unfolds with a worldwide government conspiracy.

Ewan McGregor plays the “ghost” with a great and wily deadpan approach and is apart of a trio of truly memorable movie characters. The other two are the subjects of his writing assignment, Pierce Brosnan and Olivia Williams as Tony Blair, er, a fictional former British Prime Minister and his wife. The film’s seemingly ordinary appearance within the detective/mystery genre makes it hard at first to process how flawless it actually is. Because it’s so good at its job the film itself is unnoticeable in the sense that you watch it without a second thought of how it was made. That’s classic moviemaking and proof, if you needed any (I did), that Roman Polanski is one of the greatest directors of our/any time.

In terms of plot and narrative structure “Ghost Writer” shares strikingly resemblance both to Polanski’s own brilliantly underrated horror fflm “The Ninth Gate” starring the then-underrated/now insufferable Johnny Depp. Books are central plot devices in both stories and the text itself acts as a desirable means to arriving at some sort of central truth about the world we live in. In “Ninth Gate” it is the forces of Satan and in “Ghost Writer” it is figurehead politicians, furtive spies and sinister government interests. There is hardly a difference. True to the filmmaker’s dependably weary world view, any attempt to uncover or attain this illusive and possibly non existent notion of the “truth” is foolish and will meet with one’s own undoing. The system won’t let the truth win. It can’t. That, my friends, is noir at its best!

5. Another Year
Mike Leigh

For what it is, it’s perfect. As if it wasn’t painfully obvious before, nobody observes the average person better or with more subtle depth than Mike Leigh. As characters sit, eat and talk about nothing particularly important or life shattering, Leigh is a master of the mundane and, through that, the human condition. Who else could make everyday matters so riveting and so relevant? Centered around the impossibly understanding and supportive couple and their ancillary relationships with various longtime friends/family/co-workers and set over the course of just another year, this movie has the ability to be quietly sad and oddly funny in it’s depiction of all these characters. That almost every scene is set and centered around the happy couple’s always-open home and domestic life makes “Another Year” a great Bizarro world companion piece to ”Dogtooth.”

The most amazing thing about this picture as I see it is the skillful misdirection on Leigh’s part. What Leigh does in this movie I will admire to my grave. Most will never realize how unique this movie truly is. This well adjusted couple, played wonderfully (and in a very believable, lived-in way) by Jim Broadbent and Ruth Sheen, are the center of the film but at the same time not the focus of it. While deep and well rounded in their own right they are ultimately just straight men to a revolving door of acquaintances, most notably the tragic yet entertainingly loopy and self involved figure played by Lesley Manville who, by the way, was also very good in the wife roles of Leigh’s past greats “All or Nothing” and “Topsy-Turvy.” Manville plays the character of Mary as a manic, desperate and ultimately very lonely middle age secretary fully of the kind of anger of someone who has let her life slip by. A female Greenberg in other words. Despite serving the functions of both a central character and a supporting character, Manville’s chain smoking alcoholic spinster is, in the end, just one of the many shades to this film and this content couple’s colorful life. And that’s what’s so unusually tragic about her and this movie. She exists in a very real way yet is totally invisible and the last scene is crushing to a degree that I find hard to put into words. In one sense, then, this a positive and life affirming film about the power of love, community and how the people in our lives can change us while also serve to remind us of who we are. In another, darker sense it’s about how scary it is for those who have not found happiness.


6. Kick Ass
Matthew Vaughn

I can’t say I had a more purely enjoyable theater experience in 2010. Consideringhow many uninspiring big films were released last year that should count for something, right? It does. A lot in fact, because in what other year could a movie where a dude gets microwaved and a pre-teen girl gets shot by her dad for fun land a spot in my top five?! I wish more agreed with me but, as with “Scott Pilgrim,” “Kick Ass” is being relegated to the fringes of nerdy big budget cult status. Fine, a film like this deserves to be underrated. After wisely passing on the third “X-Men” movie (only to be hired back for “X-Men: First Class”) Matthew Vaughn (maker of two other great cult titles “Layer Cake” and “Stardust”) was wise to select “Kick Ass” as his first superhero movie. It bears his bloody stamp. It also does nothing less than expand my notion of what this genre was capable of.  This postmodern superhero film is “Fight Club” for the “Spider-Man” generation.

7. Enter the Void
Gaspar Noé

What has Gaspar Noé been up to since he pissed everyone off with the incendiary “Irreversible?” Probably trying to figure out how the hell to make “Enter the Void.” And a shit load of drugs from the looks of it. “Void” is not only Noé’s best film but a turning point in the filmmaker’s career and the cinema of the subjective. Noé actually figured out the whole style/substance paradigm that eluded him in the past and thus was able to artistically back up the bravado he’s known for. The result is “Enter the Void,” a monumentally trippy story of chaos, death, spiritual (as well as literal) rebirth, the translucent/transient nature of beingness, watching, and of course Paz De La Huerta’s vagina. It is one of the best crafted first person point-of-view movies I’ve ever seen (not that there’s many of them), the most technically successful ghost movie ever made and surely one of the most originally executed concepts of the year, maybe decade. And that’s just the first thirty minutes!

In the early stages I was instantly drawn to the faceless character as we both embarked upon what ends up being the final moments of his life. The viewer gets to pull a Being John Malkovich by hanging out in his cloudy head as he gets high, hangs out with his sister (their affection for each other boarders on incest by the way), gets high again, meets a shaggy French friend and walks with him through streets of Tokyo before busted by cops in a bar and coming up with a brilliant way of buyinghimself some time as he flushes his drugs down the toilet, screaming ”I have a gun!”–sounds ordinary up until that last part but, trust me, there may not be a more transfixing sequence in all of 2011 movie making.

Once in spirit form the rest is solid but not brilliant. The character’s journey tends to be rambling (understandably), transgressive and a bit too obsessed with the sister character played by (the overrated) actress Huerta. The film seems unable to sustain the transcendent sensory overdrive experience that the riveting opening chapter offered. Still, the “Void” is well worth entering. It is not only eye-opening but mind altering; the warped David Lynch touches and flurry of trippy psychedelic synaptic spasms blend nicely with the floating camera realism while the influence from Kathryn Bigelow’s classic techno-noir “Strange Days” opening (one of my all time favorite sequences in cinema) offers a great point of departure for this film. In the end, the title “Enter the Void” may refer to death, the act of sex or perhaps the act of entering into the “void” of humanity (i.e. birth). Probably all. It’s total madness! If this movie doesn’t make you want to go to Japan, do drugs, die and lead a existence as a junkie ghost (which mostly entails watchingyour sister dance and blow Japanese dudes at a strip club) than nothing will.

8. Dogtooth
Giorgos Lanthimos

Set in the present, “Dogtooth” is about three children who, for reasons never explained, are raised in a deceptively ordinary house believingthat the outside world has gone to hell. Everything they are told is not only a lie but a devious and cruel deception. Imagine if the world’s most twisted psychological experiment were performed by your parents. In this topsy-turvy film world, cats are killer predators that will tear you apart, imaginary siblings exist outside of the fenced-off garden, the world is an dangerous and evil place that will eat you up if you take even one step beyond your house’s property line and, oh yeah, there are no movies beyond what you shoot in your own house. At almost every turn this film questions domestic normalcy, notions of isolationism (both personal and national) and even the arbitrary function of everyday language signifiers. “What is a zombie?” one of the grown “children” asks her mother. “A zombie is a small yellow flower,” she is told. Amazingly, there’s a lot of subversive humor to be found in “Dogtooth” until it creeps into to this unsettling, post-structuralist horror film mode where you feel like anything could happen.

Like a dog, the children are, in one character’s words, “molded” into creatures of unquestioning obedience and servitude. The tyranny of the patriarchy haunts and eventually eats away at the spotless artifice of the home. With the introduction of an outsider that the sadistic (or perhaps just crazy) father brings into the compound to alleviate his son’s, well, urges, things start to really break apart. Especially after she sneaks in the “Jaws” in exchange for oral sex. Feelings of stagnation, claustrophobia and fear of the ever present menace that is “outside” hint at broader messages of European nationalism, the complex construction of personal identities and probably a bunch of other stuff like immigration, but the film never gets carried away with forcing any clear message or, indeed, of even implicitly making a message at all. The film, in the end, is made or broken by our reading of it. For a story so confined, the narrative openness is refreshing and even revolutionary.

In addition the all heady metaphors and deranged story details Lanthimos turns out to be a capable filmmaker as well! Appropriately (and perhaps even wickedly) Lanthimos frames “Dogtooth” with low to the ground Ozu-like camera angels and applies (also like Ozu) an obsessed modern focus upon a single nuclear family. This a one of a kind vision that would be copied if anyone knew how the hell to copy it! It’s subtle and slow moving turns, punctuated by shocking moments of sexuality and violence, are all effectively used in ways that I have never seen before. The lives of these willfully imprisoned children may have no basis in reality until you realize that our own customs and traditions in the prison-like cells we call houses and apartments are just as arbitrary. In the end the real horror of “Dogtooth” is not the dreary routine and domestic illusion the children find themselves unwittingly trapped in but the one we are all trapped in right now in real life.

9. Shutter Island
Martin Scorsese

On a dark and stormy night… yes, Scorsese made that kind of movie. The inclusion of “Shutter Island” is noteworthy because I rarely enjoy Martin Scorsese movies as much as other people seem to. Two in the last decade made my list… of the WORST movies of the year (I can’t say enough bad things about the overrated “Gangs of New York” and “Departed”–they are are unwatchable messes) while “Aviator” laded a spot on my top ten best a few years back but that was hardly a film I would still maintain is still great or worthy of being included on a revised top-ten. But… by not being the filmmaker people expect him to be Scorsese was able to disappear behind his cumbersome legendary status to make an enjoyable movie with no strings attached. This is a most refreshing departure for the filmmaker, the sort of unabashed b-movie that “Departed” wanted to be but couldn’t because it was so full of its own clever devices. “Island” is filled with mystery, a beautifully exaggerated atmosphere and a clearly visible (but not ironic) joy for pulpy genre storytelling. Even DiCaprio’s usual bad/over acting (there, I said it) didn’t affect the movie adversely. In fact, Leo’s sophomoric brooding as he finds himself trapped on an island of crazy people only helps the story achieve a necessary aura of unnatural unease. It’s also a better haunted-by-my-dead-wife DiCaprio movie than “Inception” because, well, this film has an actual story nestled in its dark core.  In the end the film works as a thriller and even ends up working as a character driven piece. I’ve said it before and will probably say it again but Scorsese is always a better director when he’s not trying so hard to be a better director.

10. Carlos
Oliver Assayas

Weather or not you think it’s one of the year’s best you have to agree that “Carlos” is one of the most important and relevant films of the year, second only to “Social Network.” And it’s not even a film-film! It’s a miniseries but one of the highest order. Aside from the breathtaking, flawlessly paced and thankfully penis free middle chapter concerning the now famous hostage-taking incident by Carlos and his terrorist group at the 1975 OPEC conference, it’s not even that “Carlos” is the most groundbreaking achievement of the 2010. What’s great is more in the way everything is brought together under Oliver Assayas’ pluralistic umbrella. From razor sharp jump cuts to heated cultural interactions to disjointed location sprees to a fragmented sense of history and moral causes and of course the ironic usage of new wave music, “Carlos” is an explosion in all senses of the word.

The film is wise to borrow from the best parts of ”Traffic,” “Che” and “Munich.” It actually surpasses them in a lot of ways. What “Carlos” does it does so well and with such unbridled conviction that it does not need to innovate the crime genre it is playing in. This is a staggering epic that must be experienced in all it’s glory so no settling for the anemic feature length version. The weight of it all is overwhelming and even hard to grasp at first because I was so busy attempting to take in and absorb all the information being casually thrown at me. But once I realize it’s not about the specific facts and details but about the attitude and sweeping gestures then the film worked its complex magic on me. And not to take away from all the beautiful small and innocuous but no less important moments such as the sight of a naked woman on white bed in the afternoon, the way two people look at each other while drinking or even just the way smoke dances through the air. This may be the sexiest looking terrorist movie ever made.

Olivier Assayas has made a lot of cool films (last year’s “Summer Hours” also ranked high with me last year) but none quite like “Carlos.” I never quite knew where the filmmaker was comingfrom and that kept me as on edge as anything in the film proper. Is Assayas advocating Carlos’ terrorist behavior? Sympathizing with his cause? Mocking him? Demystifying a legend? It is not spelled out for us thankfully but perhaps elements from all four. I just can’t get a fix on things. The same goes for the figure of Carlos himself played so well and with such conviction by Édgar Ramírez. This is not a a film that attempts to explore and psychologically pick apart the man underneath the so called legend of Carlos the Jackal. A wall is always up on Carlos’s true feelings and his “cause” and perhaps the only cause that ever really mattered to him with was his own via self aggrandizement. Unlike a lot of famous movie gangsters (with terrorists being the modern version of them) this film is about the rise and… not fall but sloooooowdecline of a “historical curiosity.” Carlos talks a good talk but never quite seems to care about anything and so his gradual and unspectacular undoingis fitting. You get the sense that he would rather gaze at his naked body in a mirror, got to a swinging party, romance some commie groupies and of course profit from his professional terrorist activity than to make the world a “better place to live in.” All that and so much more is what makes this such an interesting character study.

11. Blue Valentine
Derek Cianfrance

Ohhhh, damn, I wish this one could have squeaked into my top ten. Normally I’m skeptical of movies that jumble their chronology. Far too often, as in the case of Iñárritu’s insufferable “Babel”/”21 Grams” and a slew of other post-”Memento” films (and perhaps “Memento” itself!), it serves no other purpose other than to show off and ultimately conceal the flaws of a movie that would not be as interesting if it were told from A to B. “Blue Valentine”… is not one of those films. It’s dually fragmented timeline is handled perfectly by director Derek Cianfrance and makes total sense given the theme of the movie: the life and death of a romance. It’s hard to find any faults with how this film was made. The happy-times/sad-times contrapuntal editing in particular keeps the story alive and emotionally effective every step of the way. Thrilling even but in a very grounded and terse manner. The impact of all this would have been significantly lessened if not totally destroyed if the two central performances were not up to par with the film’s unique style and approach to the romance genre. The couple played by Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling are two of the best actors of their generation and if you don’t believe me then this film will show you why. The passion comes through as much as the sense of loss and decay without ever (ever!) feeling gimmicky, overly sentimental or mawkish. Despite a nomination for Williams I almost feel as if “Blue Valentine” didn’t get enough credit. It achieves so much that it’s a shame people let the fact that it made them feel awful get in the way of the impressive work at hand.  This film engages the heart and mind in a way very few loves stories have done in the past.


12. Wild Grass
Alain Resnais

A crazy old man (André Dussollier) finds a wallet in Alain Resnais new film. His attempt to make contact with the wallet’s owner makes for one of the more interesting stories told in 2010. It’s a special kind of film oddity that fits well into Resnais’ towering works (spanning almost 70 years!) but also feels like a fresh step forward for him. Even after watching it’s hard to get a fix on the style and tone of this movie. It’s fanciful and at times as drifts into dream-like passages yet serious at other times in its approach to character and plot. This is a deeply personal story relying on subjective point-of-views yet also relyingon a multi-character tapestry and the element of chance. Nothing is quite right in this movie and that’s why it’s so effective. A great mystery surrounds it and that mystery never really leaves it either. That it’s intention. Parts reminded me of Krzysztof Kieslowski’sworks in the way it observes unique personalities and how they attract, push away and bounce off each other. Other parts seem to be influenced by “Eyes Wide Shut” in terms of visuals, color pallet, and the strange sense of reality the characters exist in. And yet more elements are highly self-aware and postmodern. Oh, and strange–like, stalker love story strange. But funny all throughout in it’s extremes. As with “Everything Else,” I didn’t know if the film would end with joyful tears or blood curdling screams. I won’t say what happens but I will say that the final line “When I’m a cat, will I be able to eat cat munchies?” makes about as much sense when you first hear it than to someone who hasn’t seen the movie at all. Point being, the story takes you where it takes you so just be grateful that it even exists. “Grass” is elegant, colorful, thoughtful and incredibly imaginative. In other words, an Alan Resnais story. I can’t wait to see it again.

13. Of Gods and Men
Xavier Beauvois
The anti-”Carlos” as French movies go. As someone who has never gotten into that organized religion thing it says lot coming from me that the message and meaning of the faith-based “Of Gods and Men” spoke to me. Lead by the great Lambert Wilson and the Samurai dude from “Ronin” (Michael Lonsdale) the film follows the real life story of Catholic Missionaries who live out (the remainder of) their humble lives in a hostile war zone. And this is before 9-11! They told they are unwanted. They are told to leave or die. They stick around. The film thus becomes a modern retelling “High Noon” except with 100% more Muslims and no Gary Cooper in sight. I guess that also makes it similar to “Zulu” but with a lot more bibles than guns.

“Gods” contains a message of peace and hope but, unlike like many films with a “message” (especially those rooted in Christian ideology), does not push its dogmatic world view, only its humanism. There is a beauty to the naturalism of the performances, locations and narrative drive. With many scenes of prayer, table setting and farming the film captures the serene rhythms of these holy men and their way of life and becomes increasingly more captivating (and horrifying) when the sanctity of this peaceful existence becomes disrupted with spurts of dramatic intensity within the brotherhood, violence outside of it and, worst of all, the feeling that the worst to come is just around the corner and holding an automatic rifle. This group of men whom we get to know and love quite well over the course of the story believe they have found their calling in the Earthly equivalent to hell and yet, despite mounting fears and anxiety, they resist flight and cling to love and understanding. God, after all, must has a reason for all of this madness (or, uhhhh, not). All they want to do his help the local village and coexist with their Muslim “neighbors.” Do I buy into the Christian religion or, for that matter, the opposing religion? No I do not. Do I feel the West should be in a country that doesn’t want them there? NO, that’s an asshole move. Would I have gotten the hell out of Dodge if I were them. Hell yeah! But I am not them; even so, the dilemma that is presented to the viewer is universally understood and accepted. It’s rare to find a film made in the modern era as morally honest and agreeable as “Gods.” No film I can recall at the moment explores the religious and cultural divide between the East and West more delicately or with more insight as “Of Gods and Men.”

14. Everyone Else
Maren Ade
This is one of those cases where it pays to never read film criticism (anymore) or listen to Internet posters. I fired this bad boy up because I heard it was good. That’s all I need anymore. The film opens on an insecure German man-boy and his slightly bored but uber-passionate girlfriend. The two are hanging on in Spain (I think… maybe Italy or Greece) with very little to do but very lot a lot on the mind if you’ll pardon my grammar. Things just sort of exist and linger in this movie. The film’s tempo is strange to say the least. One scene has a way of flowing into the other, carrying with it a undercurrent of nervous energy. The pacing and editing is able to match the Mediterranean breeziness of the region. By the half-way point I was hooked and wondering where this film is going. Will it morph into thriller? A drama? SOMETHING has to happen! At this point was reminded of the early moments of “Sexy Beast” but of course there was no psycho Ben Kingsley to spice up the proceedings. Or is there? Not to spoil things but little actually happens in the second hour as well and that’s not a bad thing at all. It’s a wonderfully observed slice of life but a bitter and somewhat soggy slice that I’m glad I don’t have to actually eat. Sample dialogue: “I love you so much…” Gitti, the woman, says to Chris. His response?: “…” nothing. Full of awkward silences and indifferent glances, “Everyone Else” about a once happy, now unlikable couple told in the vein of, say, a modern Cassavetes film. Like his films, it focuses on the selfish traits of men and the infuriating nature of the women that love them. In the end, what “Everyone Else” does best is capture the little moments in a relationship. Not the big fights or the infinite sadness but the innocuous moments such as reading a book on a lazy afternoon. Watch it alongside “Blue Valentine” and you’ll never want to be in another relationship again.

15. The Fighter
David O Russell

While many gravitated towards the boxing and melodrama this is a movie made (in my eyes) by it’s smaller and more intimate details. Funny considering its director, David O Russell has historically been more of a bigger-is-better kind of guy within the indie world. “Three Kings,” “Flirting with Disaster” and “I Heart Huckabees” were not exactly subtle.  Still, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a period movie so keyed into the era it was set in. Considering that era is the 90s it’s easy to overlook what this film does. From the tattered clothes characters wear to the musky sweat stains on said clothes to the way the boxing matches are shot to look like a 1993 HBO broadcast, the film is oozingwith authentic texture. And I haven’t even mentioned the actors because, really, “The Fighter” is nothing if not an actor’s movie and it has two Oscars to show for it (last time that happened was, what, “Million Dollar Baby” and who knows what before that). The sense of place and character is uncanny here.

Mark Whalberg plays real-life underdog Mickie Ward (a boxers name if ever there was one), a stepping-stone fighter which is basically the guy you beat up to move up the ranks. On this surface this is the kind of character we’ve seen before in this genre. He’s the gentle straight man throughout the entire movie and I give Wahlberg so much credit for not only producing and keeping this movie alive but not attempting to steal the spotlight. He remains a passive character that is not a Saint so much as a slightly dopey dude tryingto get by and do right. Lead by an amazing performance by the showy Melissa Leo (in a crazy mother performance that joins the ranks of Angelica Huston in “The Grifters” and Fay Dunaway in “Mommy Dearest”), an underrated Amy Adams in her best role so far (as good as Leo is I would argue Adams is better) and, in a out-of-left-field performance character-actor Jack McGee (you’d know him if you saw him) as the resistant father. Lead by the fierce mother, the family surrounds and smothers Mickie, harnessing his talent for profit at the expense of his health and humanity. But I never disliked them because they added so much to the story.

Of course it’s old news by now to sate that Christian Bale, pardon OSCAR WINNER Christian Bale as Mickie’s crack addicted brother/trainer steals the show. If Whalberg is the heart of the movie than Bale is its voice and twitchy energy source. And it’s loud! In fact, Bale steals the show so hard and with such authority that his greatness spills over into Wahlberg/Russells other films. He’s now officially the best thing about “I Heart Huckabees” and “Three Kings!” Never has a boxing movie had such a vibrant human component. Russell is finally getting the credit he deserves.

16. I Am Love
Luca Guadagnino

Tilda Swintoncando just about anything! Speak Italian, sure why not? Russian? Yup, she does that too. How about Hungarian? Not in this film but she did that in Béla Tarr little seen “The Man From London.” So why, with all her options after winning an Oscar (how cool is that by the way?), would Swinton make a movie in which she plays the repressed matriarch of a bustling Italian family who have made their money off industry and now just sit around worrying about throwing parties? Because she’s like no other actress on earth. Here, Swinton effortlessly transforms her Anglo ice queen persona to fully inhabit a, uh, Italian ice queen. This woman can make the simple act of eating shrimpoff a plate in slow motion look cool. I bet she could play Harriet Tubman and totally pull that shit off. I’m getting sucked into the vortex of Swinton’s awesomeness so… okay, the film: “I Am Love” is a refreshing kind of story that we don’t get much of these days outside of a Todd Haynes film.

“Love’s” qualities actually takes you off guard. It took me back to the Vittorio De Sica days of unabashed Italian romances and melodramas while at the same time transcending its genre. This is a movie full of great looking food, better looking(retro) cinematography, detailed sets, a lush music composition, beautiful people and one impossibly gorgeous/well chosen close-up after another. Of course, as things start to unravel in the story (I won’t spoil the details) the beauty wilts and turns into a complicated but no less fascinating mess. The upside to that is the intensity the film takes on in its latter, darker half. When the uptight Swintonfinally lets loose and gets a little su’in-su’inon the side, the film pops with the best and most creatively shot outdoor sex scene since that amazing adaptation of “Lady Chatterley,” or perhaps just ever. The film also contains the best use of soup as plot twist ever. EVER! And, while it’s at it, one of the very best codas of the year. The emotions in the wordless final sequence gave me chills. “I Am Love” is like a lost classic Italian film had Italy not gone through its cinematic renaissance after World War 2 yet retained the magical qualities of the filmmaking from that period. It’s a real treasure.

17. You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger
Woody Allen

Woody Allen made another underrated movie in 2010. What else is new? When “Stranger” opens with one of Allen’s signature old time tunes it occurred to me that whatever happens in the world –and a lot happens– I can always count on Woody Allen to be Woody Allen. You can’t put a price –or rating– on that. This is an artist that will not change or be influenced past his usual inspirations and this is also one of those rare instances where one’s inability to change is a good thing. The film takes me back to the days of “Hanna and Her Sisters” where a group of people loosely connected go about their lives in a way that can not quite be called realism and not quite be called un-realism. More like Woodyness. Observations are made, arguments are animated, trusts are broken, friendships are sparked, drinks are had, love is lost, and then found again somewhere else. Any fan of Allen knows what to expect. Woody is a master at heavy drama/Greek tragedies (“Match Point” and “Crimes and Misdemeanors” are classics in their own right) and perhaps more well known for his comedies but what’s more interesting is how good he is at the in-betweens. And I don’t just mean “Melinda and Melinda,” a film that is literally, and by design, in between drama and comedy. This is a cheerfully modest and of course underrated effort full of everyday people that we are not asked to like or hate. There is a lot to chew on here. The title in question is used very ironically–who is this “tall dark stranger” we always hear about, anyhow? Beyond the exaggerated depiction of “him” on the film’s poster (looks like Zach Ephron with a pompadour) the tall dark man is not in this film and that’s its point. He’s never existed but he will always be brought up because we want to live in a world where he might.

18. Monsters 
Gareth Edwards

Sometimes a movie, once seen, has a way  of creeping up on you even if you don’t like it. Like a… monster. A human-based sci-fi story in the truest sense, “Monsters” is what Spielberg’s “War of the Worlds” would have been had it not ODed on indulgent effects and sophomoric (soph-moronic) family melodrama and happy endings. Other indirect influences on this indie movie seem to be “The Host,” “District 9″ and “Cloverfield” so goes without saying that this film is in good company. That being said it’s nice to see the influences exist without getting the overwhelming sense that the film itself is not original.

Its not the whiny characters or rudimentary “get out of the ‘infected zone, ARGH!” plot that captured my imagination so vividly but the authentic atmosphere and overarching back-story/backdrop that got its hooks in me. “Monsters” is easy a avoid given it’s poor reception and hostile viewer reactions and just as easy to dismiss on the off-off-OFF chance you actually end up seeing it. No less than a day passed for me and I could not stop thinking about it. Over a month later and this beast is STILL on my mind! I just can’t shake it. It now stands as a cult B-movie on par with the great (to me at least) 90s hard sci-fi horror masterpieces “Screamers” and “Event Horizon.”

Speaking of cult, I can’t resist evoking the great H.P. Lovecraft here (and above, in the particularly inspired Cthulhu Photoshop creation that I made) for the ways the film bases itself on unspeakable and oft-unseen horrors being thrust upon insignificant and ineffective individuals. That and of course the towering betenticled monstrosities that have fallen from the black depths cosmos (well, Jupiter’s moon at least) and engage in behavior unknowable to us humans. As with Lovecraft (and this is the last instance the grand old one’s holy name will be mentioned) it’s the mystery that makes the monster.

In the science-fiction genre sometimes less is better and, in this film’s case, less makes a lot more sense. Basically, this is an alien invasion movie told from the ground and from the point-of-view of people who are rarely in the middle of the action. If you were as unfortunate as me to have watched the thematically similar “Skyline” you may find yourself thankful to “Monsters” for treating it’s premise with respect. With strange rumblings and eerie sounds that are always somewhere off in the distance, the menace is felt even when it is not seen. When the characters do intersect with the invaders that glow menacingly, however briefly those encounters may be, the experience makes as much if not more of an impression than any non-stop ID4ish action approach. There is a scene where the main character, a douchey freelance photographer named Andrew, catches a glimpse of the “evil” aliens only to realize that they are not evil at all but perhaps just creatures who, like us, are simply trying to exist (though not coexist).  There is another scene where the protagonists charter a boat which of course gets stuck in the water. Suddenly something can be heard in the distance and whatever it is, it plops in the water and slowly drifts towards them. I thought to my self, first, “I’m glad I’m not in that boat” and second “there will be blood!!!” What I got instead was not blood but 100x more rewarding. Anxiety and ambiguously are this film’s strong points.

Again, it’s just too bad the dialogue and character interactions fail to achieve the same level of success. Full of bad chemistry and even worst decision making skills, the two shallow leads often don’t often seem to be aware (or care) that they are in a world where aliens exist (don’t count on any Bill Paxton-esq “game over, man!” reactions), much less have taken over a large chunk of Mexico which America has conveniently fenced off. Yeah, fenced off–ah, but fear not, the film does not get too carried away with Mexicans=aliens metaphors though it does make for some claver allegorical fodder.

It may not be for everybody but “Monsters” goes down as a haunting and unforgettable science fiction movie.

19. Never Let Me Go
Mark Romanek

A last minute addition to this list. I’m still letting this powerful movie sink in so I’m not sure if will rise or fall with time. Probably the later. What I can say for sure is that filmmaker Mark Romanek is a visionary that, if anything, should really get out and make more films. He’s the Jonathan Glazer of brilliant underachievers. “Never Let Me Go” is staggering work of dramatic speculative fiction and, as this genre goes, in the same league as “GATTACA” and not too far off from “Children of Men.” As clone harvesting movies go, it also beats the hell out of “The Island.” This drama raises powerful questions and does so with grace and beauty.

20. The King’s Speech
Tom Hooper

To be honest, after the Oscars I’m kind of burned out on this film. It’s a solid story full of great moments and memorable performances. I loved it… as much as you can love a mainstream biopic that wins Best Picture. It’s witty, dramatic, solidly paced, perhaps the best ensemble films of the year (Colin Firth as the man who would be King and Geoffery Rush as his glorified shrink give career defining performances) and that rare kind of biopic that feels genuinely original rather than cribbed from other movies or some grandiose book. On the other hand it’s not groundbreaking or even particularly well directed (Tom Hooper’s Oscar will go down as a mistake of Danny Boyle proportions). That’s not such a big issue in the end because the material speaks for itself, stuttering along only occasionally. Disgruntled “Social Network” fans are whining that, as Best Picture winners go, the film is not terribly relevant and will not hold up well over the years. I couldn’t disagree more. The film is a lightweight at times (more in the vein of a 90s Miramax movie than a big historical epic) but timelessly good, surprisingly engaging and will be accessible for as long as movies are (which is about 10 years by my watch). And can anyone really say that “King’s Speech” is less relevant or enduring than, say, “Crash” or “Slumdog Millionaire,” films that, as I predicted, nobody cares about only a few short years later? No. End of story. Nuff said. Moving on…

21. Predators
Nimród Antal

If it bleeds, you can enjoy it. I totally defend this pick. Why are people so afraid to embrace b-movies like this? The same people that enjoyed the first “Predator” or even a film like “Avatar” passed over this movie with jaded disgust. Whatever, dude. Unlike a lot of popular genre movies from last year, “Predators” does exactly what the franchise requires it to do. It respects the original story, maintaining the sensibilities of John McTiernan’s film while also tweaking the formula ever so slightly into something enjoyably new. This is hardcore sci-fi action with as little story as possible. What story is there is pure potboiler adventure where a group of bad-asses led by Adrian Brody of all people are stuck in a prison… the size of a planet! As they try to piece together how they got there and who they can trust (hint: nobody) the armed humans soon realize that this is the kind of hunting reserve where the humans are the hunted. No doubt that’s a huge cliche by now but there’s a reason why it’s one that has endured for so long. With “Predators” you get all that plus you get to see what happens when a Predator alien faces off against a Japanese samurai! Coolest. Thing. Ever.

22. Valhalla Rising
Nicolas Winding Refn

“A man once told me… they eat their own god. Eat his flesh, drink his blood… abominable. We have many gods, they only get the one.” Is this film “about” Christians? Not really. It’s a visual poem about The End. All sorts of ends, too. The end of eras (Vikings for one), the end of religions, the end if God, the (beginning of the) end of civilization and perhaps even the end of individuals. The film takes place everywhere and nowhere. “Valhalla Rising” is a beautiful and haunting experience that has a way of staying with you despite its lack of clarity. Can’t say it makes sense in the typical storytelling, uh, sense but it’s more of a poetic mood piece that sweeps you away for a brisk ride through the darkness of man and of nature. It’s more Joseph Conrad on psychedelic drugs than Kirk Douglass with a big horned hat. Instead of literal depictions of action and location the viewer is meant to feel their way through this amazing story like the one-eyed protagonist with no name played by an actor with a really cool name, Mads Mikkelson. He plays a force rather than a specific character. In the movie, his silent warrior character (aren’t they all) escapes bondage, travels the land, adopts a child, meets Christians and embarks with them on a three hour tour to the “promise land” that gets detoured directly to what they consider hell. Or maybe just North America. Same thing. This film is a cooler version of Terrence Malick’s “New World.” Except it has cooler swords. And Vikings. And Mads in full on survival, Danish samurai “Die Hard” mode.

23. Please Give
Nicole Holofcener

Some of the best writing of 2010 came out of this movie. Not saying much as it was a particularly fallow year for screenplays. Not here. Nicole Holofcener (“Walking and Talking,” “Lovely and Amazing”) is like a younger and obviously more female Woody Allen. Featuring two families that live next door to each other in New York, the film is not “about” anything specific. Well, perhaps life-and-death-in-the-big-city if I had to pinpoint an overarching theme (and that’s kind of a big one) but it’s the subtle approach that makes all the difference in this incredibly candid, funny, and, by the end, heartfelt film. This is as close as America may ever get to every having their own version of “Yi Yi.” Yay?

24. Exit Through The Gift Shop
Banksey

A crazy real movie about a crazy Frenchmen making a fake movie about street art. Oh, and the documentary might not even be real in the first place. Got to hand it to this film for restoring my like (not love anymore) of the documentary art form. Having burned out on the oft-smug “realism” of mainstream documentary filmmaking, I put off watching “Exit” and of course was surprised by a documentary that was not only enjoyable but the spiritual successor to “Man on Wire” in the unique way it approaches people who make art. The film is lively, well shot and topical in the most unusual of ways. It’s energy is all its own. True, it’s at its more interesting when exploring illegal street artists, an underground movement that, as the doc progresses, begins to take on all blandishments of an established art form. By doing so “Exit” makes a quirky case for street art being more important and practical than real art because it is seen and enjoyed by many instead of the rich few. Of course this doc takes an abrupt turn in direction and tone when its main subject becomes popular and puts on a show for hipsters. The film, then, goes on to show how the street art movement is just as empty and full of shit as regular modern art. I love the edgy approach. What starts off a raw depiction of renegade counter culture artists turns into a demasking of a pre-fab hype magician. This quality not only captures the art world and those who blindly follow its trends but modern “artists” in general (including film, art, music etc.) whose need to be hip and famous trumps the desire to make good art.

25. Black Swan
Darren Aronofsky

“Black Swan” is one great and giant metaphor for art, method acting and the impossible search of perfection. Of transformation in other words. Once that is understood it all has a way of falling into place. Here is a movie so good that many are not even aware that it’s a hardcore cult movie at its core. How could it not be?! The truth is that I’m not the biggest Darren Aronofsky fan (“Pi” and “Requiem for a Dream” are overrated) but, second only to “The Fountain,” “Black Swan” is one of his best movies because it eschews inept and shallow forms of experimentation in favor of a solid storytelling supported by truly skilled filmmaking. With this film it is now implicitly clear that Aronofsky has grown tremendously as botha filmmaker and a storyteller. About an artist who literally bleeds for her work, this is the movie he was trying to make with “The Wrestler” but failed. Everything is stunning and elegant but with a gritty edge. The black and white production design, the nimble cinematography, and the story about the trouble surrounding a Black Swan ballet revival, is simple yet elegantly told. And a set of performances from Natalie Portman, Barbra Hershey and Vincent Cassell recall some of the best moments of “All About Eve” yet also manages to blend in a fantastic twist in the form of its now infamous Kafka-esq metamorphosis. As Natalie Portman literally finds herself transforminginto a giant bird (wha???!!!) “Black Swan” does not get enough credit as beinga really good horror film. As Portman peels off her skin, cuts her nails, breaks her foot and clips feathers it’s more visceral than any “Saw” movie. It’s also the best ballet thriller ever made. Okay, it’s the only one ever made but at least it’s a good start. Natalie Portman takes command of her performance to create something… unforgettable and that’s something she has not done since “The Professional.” In retrospect “Black Swan” is not “perfect” (to borrow a great line from the move) but like its character its total and unyielding conviction makes all the difference in the world.

26. Social Network
Directed by David Fincher

When did director David Fincher become everyone’s favorite uncle? The man is was the best filmmaker in America. He solidified that status when he made “Zodiac,” one of the best and deepest films of the decade, perhaps ever. Then… something happened. The real David Fincher must have been kidnapped (or killed) and his evil/well-adjusted doppelganger stepped into his shoes to made a movie called “The Curious Case Benjamin Button” and it was shit. Not only did that movie emphatically end his reign of greatness but felt like a slap in the face to anyone who followed his nihilistic visions with such adoring wonder (i.e.: me). Now, the quickly made (by his standards) “Social Network,” a film about Facebook (ugh), has emerged to become his best received film ever and the single most acclaimed films in years. It is considered to be the best picture of 2010 by so many people that there’s no use in even arguing why it might not be the best film ever made. Is it? No, not really. But I will say that it is very good and a definite improvement over “The Curious Case of Forrest Gump.” I just find it funny that now that people finally agree with me about how good Fincher is, I begin to disagree. Where were all you people when “Fight Club” came out? Unlike “Button” though, Papa Fincher’s new film is more measured and exceedingly more well made because it never compromises its vision for the sake of sentimentality or narrative closure.

To its credit “Social Network” is a vast, difficult and probing look into not only how a cultural boom and “game changing” (I hate that word) business model got started but about where we are as a society because of this website (for better or worse). Fincher is wise not to glorify the lead character played so well by Jessie Eisenberg, the Harvard institution or Facebook itself. He even called his film (written by Aaron Sorkin) “glib” at one point which really endeared me to him because I feel deep down that he too feels that his last two films are not who he is as a filmmaker despite both of them being his most successful. At times the film almost seems to be mocking these preppy doouchebags scrambling for credit, fame and fortune (and even the notion of Facebook itself) but does the more interesting thing by sticking with them as the gripping story unfolds. The last shot of Eisenberg futilely attempting to make contact with a person through his own website by clicking, and clicking and clicking, in a desperate attempt to make human contact, is vintage Fincher. The movie-saving bleak and ambiguous ending offers a modern glimpse of what Charles Foster Kane would be if he existed in this era.  Both financially and critically “Social Network” is an unqualified success to be sure and while there’s nothing wrong with that (or the film for that matter), well, I just want the old David Fincher back.

27. Final Flesh
Directed by Vernon Chatman

Clearly the most disturbing piece of pornography since? The Passion Of The Christ.”
-Some guy on the Internet

In 2010 Sean Comes may have popularized the term “mind fuck” in the overrated “Get Him to the Greek” but this film actually does it! The surreal sorta-comedy “Final Flesh” is exactly what you would expect from the Vernon Chatman, the guy behind “Xavier: Renegade Angel” and “Wonder Showzen.” And if you don’t know what those are you also probably don’t know what weed is. “Final Flesh” is one huge goof. Literally. Supposedly the filmmaker hired porn actors who didn’t know (or care) what the movie was about. Which is fine because neither do those who watch it. It’s horrible (but not in a bad way) and fascinating (but not in a good way). I don’t know if it’s the best fetish movie ever made or the worst. The “story” is divided into four parts and involves a family surviving the apocalypse in their house. Along the way they get naked and bath in the tears of neglected children. This film is a a great argument for why the term Brechtian should not be derogatory. The film is so obscure that there’s not even a Wikipedia entry for it. I hope “Flesh” becomes the new must-see late-night cult movie because, really, how many times can you watch “The Room” before it gets old.

28. True Grit
Joel and Ethan Coen

Another year, another Coen Brothers film makes my list. “True Grit” does not resurrect the Western. It does not reinvent the Western either. And finally it does not deconstruct the Western. It does however settle into the Western like it’s a nice and comfy if a bit smelly old shoe. On their last film, “A Serious Man,” the Coens were at their most emotionally honest while on this one they are at their least ironic. I was expecting a film in which no other directors living (or dead) could pull off except the Coens but this is not that film. It’s strangely… ordinary. The dialogue and sense of humor stand out to be sure but the story proper is far from groundbreaking. Their last “Western,” “No Country for Old Men” approached the genre with a revitalizing energy and uncompromisingly bleak philosophy. It’s not a Western so much as an atonal hymn to the corruptible nature of man and the moral void we are constantly at risk of falling into. It is a film that will no doubt go on to help define the time it was made in. “True Grit” on the other hand says nothing and defines little other than its own tenacious gumption. Instead of standing back at a distance to observe the genre (as they usually do) the directors locate themselves and their oddly thin characters smack dab in the middle of it all and draw upon all the tropes and conventions we expect while at the same time bringing their singular voice to the mix. The film is about a young but wise girl’s quest for revenge (yawning now) and the men that help her bring those responsible to justice (Zzzzz). That’s it! The film is did not engage me emotionally but it didn’t need to and I will not hold the director’s pedigree against them. It’s just a well told story that happens to be a Western and since I’m a whore for this most pure and consistent of genres so here it is on the list. As J Peterman from “Seinfeld” would say: Congratulations on a job… done.

29. The American
Anton Corbijn

George Clooney is often at his best when he’s not saying anything. He doesn’t talk much in “The American.” And he doesn’t need to. The film speaks for him thanks to the enormously talented new filmmaker Anton Corbijn at the helm. Being famous for his album cover photography and music videos, Corbijn clearly has a eye for stunning compositions. Working in long form seems to be no obstacle and ”The American” even improves upon the already impressive “Control,” his first film. After this film and Tom Ford’s “A Single Man” I’m starting to think it’s more exciting to see a film from a new director who is a fashion designer or photographer rather than someone who actually went to film school. This underrated, thinking man’s assassin movie was hated by audiences and critics when it came out (I blame the advertising… and stupid people) but I feel it has all the stuff to become a cult thriller. When a film looks as good as ”The American” does, big shoot-outs are not only unnecessary but unappealing. If people wanted that then they should have just watched some horrible Angelina Jolie movie  like “Wanted” or “Salt.” As an aside I would love to see his character from “Burn After Reading” meet the one he plays in this film. I don’t know if they’d hit it off or kill each other.

30. The Kids Are All Right
Lisa Cholodenko

Really enjoyed “Kids.” I have nothing but good things to say about it beyond the non-ending for Ruffallo which is a bit limp. Great story, great dialogue, (probably) the best ensemble cast of the year and unlike so many similar independent-ish movies about quirky families (“Little Miss Sunshine” and “Rachael Getting Married” come to mind) it’s not shallow, smug or self satisfied. I think back on that movie and smile. Then I want to eat a tomato like it’s an apple. I have no idea why I can’t bring myself to get it higher on the list.

special mention:

Buried
Rodrigo Cortés

One of the best close room scenarios ever. Except it’s a closed coffin, underground, dark and full of sand and even a snake. As movies about people who are buried in a coffin go, it’s near the top of the list right below Kill Bill vol. 2. and right above “The Vanishing” and that “CSI” episode directed by Tarentino. This movie is so effective that I never, ever want to watch it again. Director Rodrigo Cortés and writer Chris Sparling find so many inventive ways to use the space of the 2×8 set that it’s above all a great film to study. Each camera angle offers a fresh perspective and all the changing light sources (flash light, cigarette lighter, glow sticks, cell phone etc.) are way more fascinating then they should be. The film is not boring for even a second. Hitchcock would be proud of that. Speaking Hitch, the “story,” what little there is, is equally resourceful as it throws new and very creative curve balls every few minutes in the telling this doomed man’s story for survival. It’s like “127 Hours” in that respect but unlike that film Buried does not get carried away with formalistic excess. It also avoids narrative tricks and twist endings. Instead, the film sticks with the character and the grim reality of his situation and it’s all the better for it. Finally, Ryan Reynolds gives a performance nobody knew Ryan Reynolds was capable of… including Ryan Reynolds.

Let Me In
Matt Reeves
“You’re not a girl?”
“No.”
“What are you?”
“I’m nothing.”

Let Me In proves that…
(a) Matt Reeves is a talented filmmaker that, after Cloverfield,  somehow acquired a keen eye for atmosphere, action and humanity.
(b) The film, while totally unnecessary, is wise to steal as much as it can from the original/better European version.
(c) The original story, written by John Ajvide Lindqvist, is so timelessly good that anyone who ever adapts is almost guaranteed a decent film as long they follow the core story/themes.

The answer: all of the above. The film is one of those rare adaptations that upholds the quality of the previous incarnations. I mean, how often is is that we root for the monster as much as we fear it? Okay, a lot these days but with respect to the horror genre, where all the good ideas are coming out of either Europe or Asia, that almost never happens. The original version is one of the best horror films ever made and the single best vampire story ever adapted for the screen. This version is… good. Everything I said about Tomas Alfredson’s film (link) applies here give or take.

Under “take” I would say that the screenplay’s dialogue is more straightforward and less enigmatic. That’s not entirely a bad thing but I personally prefer quirky mystery of the original because it heightens the horror aspects and makes for a more engaging experience since nothing is spelled out to the viewer. I also didn’t love the laughably bad crazy monkey girl CGI effects depicted every time our young little vamp springs to action. Looks unnatural and robs the film of being effectively spooky. Another strike against it is the undeniable feeling that this version is and will always be superfluous even though it’s one of the rare remakes that is watchable. Under “give,” however, I would say that the film is drop dead beautiful; the dark shadows, the stunning street light orange and the shimmering red of blood etc. Along with the original it is also one of the most improbably romantic films ever made.

The pre-teen vamp/human puppy love is juxtaposed withthe inevitable sick and twisted conclusion that answers what happens when an immortal girl spends her life witha nerdy mortal boy. As for the horror, it’s downright brutal and handled very well by Reeves. The pool scene is, once again, one of the best shot horror moments of all time (up there with Ripley’s silent showdown at the end of Alien). The solemn performances by Kodi Smit-McPhee (kid from The Road and that rare good child actor) and Chloe Grace Moretz (ARGH, STOP WITH THE THREE NAME NAMES!!!) who is bit girl instead of hit girl this time around (yes, I think I’m clever). Boththe kids along with performances by Richard Jenkins and Elias Koteas do justice to the original actors. After this film and “Kick Ass,” Moretz claimed more lives in 2010 than Cancer. While it’s not even close to the original this version seems to respect both the novel and original film and that’s why it’s works as well as it does. Um, that’s also why it probably make any money in America.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows
David Yates

Very few series get better with age. Harry Potter has.

Pirahna 3D
Alexandre Aja

You know you love it!

Splice
Vincenzo Natali

While “Splice” is not content with being a common, late night horror film, make no mistake, it is a monster movie. One that, like the failed experiment turned poison-tailed monster, fails to maintain its structural integrity (in the last act) but still succeeds on the strength of the idea that created it. The film stars Sarah Polly and Adrian Brody as the world’s smartest, hippest and stubborn rock star scientists who, out of sheer cocky defiance, create a hybrid creature. As the blob grows bigger and stronger the two grow more and more… stupid. There may be a narrative flaw in their inability (or unwillingness) to “deal” with the creature but at the same time it almost makes sense why they would allow their experiment to get out of hand (and tail). First and foremost I like is how the film’s horror elements are rooted in something deeply tragic and human. The gender issues are also compelling without feeling forced. The “monster,” named Dren (Nerd backwards–ha!) is a memorable creation. A being that would be pitiable if she, it, weren’t so eerie in the way it reflects humanity back upon us original sinners. Wide eyes, bald as a baby, pin sharp tale of death and possessing a penis shaped head, to look upon Dren is to look upon the sinister nature of creation. As she grows the film does to but, on the other hand, as she flames out so too does the story. It almost had to be that way. While a noble failure the film has a way of making science thrilling again and that almost never happens in modern science fiction/horror. “Splice” begins with the wonder and the euphoric glee of discovery, briskly moves to “wait a minute, what’s going on here?” uneasiness (a staple for good horror) and finally settles on the disappointing application of some really good ideas.

The Book of Eli
Rodrigo Cortés

I still don’t know if “Book of Eli” is one of the best films of the year or one of the worst.

 

TV
Fringe and Justified are two shows in their primes! If or I should say when Fringe gets cancelled I will be revisiting an anger at Fox not felt since Firefly getting botched by the network. Adam Reed’s Archer, in its second season is so good that I got back into Frisky Dingo over the weekend. That show never gets old and I’m still sad it never got to see a 3rd season. Then there’s Walking Dead on Blu-ray that Amazon hooked me up with last week. Overrated but I’m glad I own a hard copy of it because I’m such a fan of the comic. Smallville, sadly, has failed to live up to much in its final season which is too bad because I figured they’d go for broke instead of cranking out pointless filler material. On the anime front I just finished Code Geass R2 and… wow. Epic show. Speaking of epic, I can’t get enough of the Princess intro–the “show,” if it can even be called that, I can get enough of but that intro is just priceless. Been singing “Who loves adventure and plays all day? It’s Princess, isn’t it, yes” to my dogs all week. Most importantly also getting into Star Trek Next Generation which I had never seen prior to this year. I’m on season 4. It’s scary how good TNG is. I don’t think I could really appreciate the sci-fi genre until I experience this timeless program. Way ahead of its time both in terms of the science (a late 80s show talking about string theory!) and the genre. It holds up amazingly well, better than any Trek movie, especially the craptastic JJ Abrams Star Trek that I made the mistake of rewatching. In terms of shelf life will we be able to say the same about Battlestar twenty years from now?

Film
Enter the Void is an amazing, eye opening cinematic experiences while Monsters is… not, though I keep revisiting it in my mind so it must have done something right.  Both are streaming on Netflix btw. So is Carlos which is a must see. Also just saw Robinson Caruso on Mars on Criterion. It’s not often that a hidden gem like that is just dropped in your lap (or mailbox as it were). Also, trying to figure out the exact order my favorite 2010 films. Usually one or two or in last year’s case three films pop out as top contenders but not this year so I’m desperately re-watching old favorites and new stuff that I missed during the year (I only have The American, Never Let Me Go and Mother to see at this point) with a more critical eye. And while Social Network is not, as of now, anywhere near the top ten, I’ve been putting off what I hear is a crucial second viewing for far too long. My unopened blu-ray copy (with that horrible cover featuring Jesse Eisenberg staring at me and a freaking Peter Traverse quote) is begging to be ravaged by my admittedly listless eyes.

As for 2011 films: nada, unless you count Green Hornet as something which I most certainly do not. Looking forward to Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives, Battle: LA, Paul and of course Sucker Punch.

Video Games
A dry spell. Replaying Heavy Rain and loving it as much as the first time. Going to play this version as a total dick and let everyone die. Also just got the new Donkey Kong from my library which is bringing back old times. Basically just killing time until Crysis 2 arrives next week. Loved the original on PC but getting it on PS3 despite it getting screwed over by the PC and Xbot developers.

Porn
None off the top of my head. Why, you got any?

vs.

Final Predictions:

I got 16/24. So glad I switched to Reznor at the last second. Not great but, hey, at least I beat Ebert! But not myself: last year I got 17. And for the third or fourth year in a row (and many before that) I got 7 out of 8 in the main categories. One day a perfect 8 will be mine!

Best Picture: The King’s Speech
Best Actor: Colin Firth
Best Actress:Natalie Portman
Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale
Best Supporting Actress: Mellisa Leo
Best Director:David Fincher
Best Original Screenplay: The King’s Speech
Best Adapted Screenplay: The Social Network
Best Cinematography: True Grit
Best Art Direction: The King’s Speech
Best Costume: The King’s Speech
Best Sound: Inception
Best Editing: The Social Network
Best Sound Effects Editing: Inception
Best Visual Effects: Inception
Best Makeup:The Wolfman
Best Song: Toy Story 3
Best Original Score: Social Network (go Trent Reznor!) 
Best Animated Film: Toy Story 3
Best Foreign Language Film: Biutiful
Best Animated Short: Gruffalo
Best Documentary Short: Strangers No More
Best Live Action Short: Wish 143

If I Could Vote…

Best Picture: The King’s Speech!
Best Actor: Colin Firth (King’s Speech)
Best Actress: Michelle Williams (Blue Valentine)
Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale (The Fighter)
Best Supporting Actress: Amy Adams (The Fighter)
Best Director: Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan)
Best Original Screenplay: The Kids Are All Right
Best Adapted Screenplay: None stand out. 
Best Cinematography: Inception
Best Art Direction: Inception
Best Costume: I Am Love
Best Sound: Inception
Best Editing: 127 Hours
Best Sound Effects Editing: Inception
Best Visual Effects: Inception
Best Makeup: The Way Back
Best Song: None
Best Original Score: Trent Reznor, Social Network
Best Animated Film: How to Train Your Dragon
Best Foreign Language Film: Dogtooth

Some Thoughts on the Nominees…

Best Picture…

“Black Swan” 
“The Fighter”
“Inception” 
“The Kids Are All Right” 
“The King’s Speech”
“127 Hours”
“The Social Network”  
“Toy Story 3″
“True Grit” 
“Winter’s Bone”

Will: There may be 10 films nominated but, as usual, it comes down to just two. King’s Speech vs. Social Network. And that’s being kind. This isn’t really a race at all. It’s more between King’s Speech winning and King’s Speech winning, um, more. I find it curious that after two years of 10 best picture nominees the field is as predictable as ever.  Will there ever be another surprise on the level of Crash? Perhaps but this is not the year for that. In the end I feel Social Network is hurt more by the fact that it had all the momentum for too long than the silly notion that it has no heart. If that was the case No Country For Old Men would have lost to Juno and Hurt Locker would have lost to Avatar. Whatever the reason, this bodes well for King’s Speech… 
Should: … and good, because it’s the better film. I usually roll my eyes at (a) the more “traditional” and/or safe choices, and (b) the film that has better odds to win (Oscar bandwagon jumping group think is really sad) but King’s Speech, while old fashion on the surface, is simply the best nominated film here. Perhaps not the deepest, but the most rich and enjoyable to be sure. Is it he best film of the year? Not really but since when was that a requirement of the BEST PICTURE winner?
Worst: Inception. I just don’t get this movie. No, not in the narrative clarity sense (I find it funny that people were confused by the very simple and shallow story). What I don’t get is all the love for it, though I certainly don’t hate it (still a C+/B-). And perhaps I have under valued Social Network. It’s in the B+ range but planning on seeing it again to see where that grade settles. I hear it gets better with a second viewing (unlike Benjamin Button) so I’m hoping that’s the case. As for Winter’s Bone. The more I think about this movie the more annoyed with it I get. It’s overdone and has tricked a lot of faux pretentious white people into thinking it’s profound (myself included). It’s bad David Gordon Green. It’s snowy counterpart, Frozen River, was better. Hawks is great it in though.
Robbed: I would say that only four (maybe five) of the films nominated for Best Picture this year should be here but that’s just me. See below. Anything past “Kids” is really iffy in my book. Meaning: lots of good films were robbed and the list is too big to count but if pressed name a few I would say Blue Valentine and Ghost Writer would have been worthy Oscary choices.

Best Picture Nominees Ranked

1. King’s Speech
2. The Fighter
3. Black Swan
4. The Kids Are All Right
5. True Grit
6. Social Network
7. Toy Story 3
8. 127 Hours
9. Inception
10. Winter’s Bone

Achievement in directing…

“Black Swan” (Fox Searchlight), Darren Aronofsky 
“The Fighter” (Paramount), David O. Russell 
“The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company), Tom Hooper
“The Social Network” (Sony Pictures Releasing), David Fincher 
“True Grit” (Paramount), Joel Coen and Ethan Coen

Will: The most exciting category of the night in my book. Again, it’s King’s Speech vs. Social Netork. This is a real tough one to call because for all the early awards Fincher won for Social Network he did win any of the big precursor awards (DGA for instance). However he did win a Globe and a BAFTA and that’s got to count for something. Unless it doesn’t. This is one of those rare years where the non-lock has as good of a shot as the De facto lock (Hooper). Call it a soft-lock. It’s not like when the dark horses Soderbergh (Traffic) and Polanski (The Pianist) won, it’s more like when Ang Lee won for Brokeback Mountain in the sense that the more Oscar baity film gets to win while the director goes to a mroe critically respected film. Now, I have no idea why that didn’t also happen last year with Bigalow winning director and Avatar winning picture. But it didn’t and thank God for that because it would be embarrassing to say Avatar is a Best Picture winner (as opposed to Hurt Locker which everyone has forgotten about at this point). Anyway, I’m sticking with Fincher for the win.
Should:Aronofsky’s film is a wonderful and cathartic stylistic piece that he was really able to bring a lot of vision to. I mean, that’s what this category should be about but it’s not (otherwise the Ron Howards and Danny Boyles of the world wound not have an Oscar). I would happy as hell to see Fincher get his first directing Oscar (long due) but Social Network is not a directorly movie and even he has said so himself. Zodiac was and totally should have won (er, assuming There Will Be Blood didn’t come out that year as well). As for Hooper and King’s Speech, well, besides being the best nominated film it seems to me that any competent filmmaker above could have made it just as well as Hooper did so I don’t know why he won the DGA for what is essentially an enjoyable but, lets face it, routinely made biopic.  
Worst:The Coen Brothers. I like True Grit all right and of course I love the Bros but it’s almost as if they directed this movie in their sleep. It’s their least imaginative film since Intolerable Cruelty.
Robbed: Christopher Nolan. Duh. I’m not a big fan of Inception but Nolan’s work as a director is stunning and unlike any other big budget production.

Performance by an actor in a leading role…

Javier Bardem in “Biutiful” (Roadside Attractions) 
Jeff Bridges in “True Grit” (Paramount) 
Jesse Eisenberg in “The Social Network” (Sony Pictures Releasing) 
Colin Firth in “The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company) 
James Franco in “127 Hours” (Fox Searchlight)

Will: No contest. Firth, Firth, Firth. 
Should:Again, Firth. I saw the movie before the buzz and the first thing I said after it ended to my friends was “I’m so glad Firth will finally get an Oscar.” There was no question about it. That being said every actor nominated except for Bardem gave award worthy performances, though Bridges was more supporting if you ask me. I think in a weaker year Eisenberg would have been a frontrunner here and it’s too bad he has to lose because, first, when will he ever get nominated again and second, lets give him credit for basically perfecting a new-ish cinematic trope. That of the prickly nerd that you love and hate in equal parts. Eisenberg: 1/ Michael Cera: 0!  
Worst: Bardem.
Robbed: Call me crazy but if Franco gets a nom for 127 Hours (which he was great in!) than Ryan Reynolds should also get one for “Buried” as he was just as good in a similar stuck-in-one-place-for-the-whole-movie performance. The problem with that scenario is that it’s Ryan Reynolds and it’s really hard to admit he’s capable of a great performance but, argh, apparently he is! Above Reynolds though Ryan Gosling was seriously robbed for his amazing work in Blue Valentine. As good as Michelle Williams is in that movie Gosling not only carried it but elevated it to a position of high art.

Performance by an actress in a leading role…

Annette Bening in “The Kids Are All Right” (Focus Features)
Nicole Kidman in “Rabbit Hole” (Lionsgate) :shock: :neutral:  
Jennifer Lawrence in “Winter’s Bone” (Roadside Attractions) 
Natalie Portman in “Black Swan” (Fox Searchlight) 
Michelle Williams in “Blue Valentine” (The Weinstein Company)

Will: Easy one, Portman.
Should: Unlike a performer like Ryan Gosling, Natalie Portman is only as good as the material she’s in. She’s not consistent at all and can even be a very bad actor in the wrong kind of movie (last year’s Brothers, Garden State, Mr. Magorium, Star Wars, etc. etc.) but… Black Swan is the right kind of material suited to her ability. That being said I’m big fan of Michelle Williams and would vote for the her. Ryan Gosling got all the big moments in the movie but her quiet desperation/exasperation  is a fascinating thing to watch. 
Robbed: When I first saw “Kids” I figured Bening gave the sort of underrated performance that is usually is overlooked come awards time and that Juliane Moore was the obvious choice. Somehow, though, the lines got crossed and Moore (an Awards circuit favorite) missed out. It’s one of the great mysteries of the year. I also feel Tilda Swinton got robbed for her beautiful work in I Am Love. I just love her.

Performance by an actor in a supporting role…

Christian Bale in “The Fighter” (Paramount) 
John Hawkes in “Winter’s Bone” (Roadside Attractions) 
Jeremy Renner in “The Town” (Warner Bros.) 
Mark Ruffalo in “The Kids Are All Right” (Focus Features)
Geoffrey Rush in “The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company)

Will: Bale!!! He’s the best actor of his generation that has been ignored for too long. Rush is coming on very strong though but since he already won in the 90s (for “Shine”) I’d love to see Bale get his first Oscar under his belt. I’m sounding very gay here. 
Should: Bale!!! Though I’m a big fan of Hawks and Rush. Not to mention how cool it is to see the underrated Ruffalo get noticed. On this site I said gave the best performance ten years ago when he starred in his first movie You Can Count On Me so I’m not some fare weather fan.
Worst: Renner is good but his nom seems a bit out of place. Besides, he should have won last year for Hurt Locker.
Robbed: Ben Stiller in Greenberg will go down as one of the great underrated performances of this decade.

Performance by an actress in a supporting role…

Amy Adams in “The Fighter” (Paramount)
Helena Bonham Carter in “The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company) 
Melissa Leo in “The Fighter” (Paramount)
Hailee Steinfeld in “True Grit”(Paramount) 
Jacki Weaver in “Animal Kingdom” (Sony Pictures Classics)

Will: Despite her desperate and slightly annoying All About Eve/Sunset Blvd.-isms, Melissa Leo seems like an obvious choice. I don’t see Steinfeld or Carter giving her much of a fight. Ooh, check out my play on words.
Should: As with the lead actor category there are a lot of great performances here. Leo’s energy and intensity is an amazing thing to watch while Helena Bonham Carter reminds everyone how good she can be/once was (before Tim Burton ruined her). And Jacki Weaver smile-all-the-time performance is memorable but ultimately lacking in a killer scene so to speak. For me, then, it’s between Adams and Leo. Adams finds a perfect balance of not too much and not too little here. She’s funny, she’s strong, she’s sexy, she’s emotional, and even serious. Bitch keeps it real. Nothing feels like it’s overdone. Most figure Wahlberg is the heart of the film but I think it’s Adams.
Worst: Sorry, really sorry to say this but Steinfeld is………. not as good as everyone is saying. She was fine, don’t get me wrong, but I think kids + Coen dialogue is not a great match. Hell, most adult actors are not a good fit for the Coens. It can’t be easy to act in a Coen movie and this is one of those cases where a lot of the nuances are totally lost. Her role (which is really a lead performance) is a bit self conscious and unsure if you ask me (as was Damon’s). She really needed to sell the character and i don’t think she did that.
Robbed:Leslie Manville in Another Year! Big snub here. Thanks to Mike Leigh’s unique approach, her “supporiting” performance is also, by design, the central role in the film. It’s hands down one of the most innovative uses of a character I’ve seen in years.

Adapted screenplay…

“127 Hours” (Fox Searchlight), Screenplay by Danny Boyle & Simon Beaufoy 
“The Social Network” (Sony Pictures Releasing), Screenplay by Aaron Sorkin
“Toy Story 3? (Walt Disney), Screenplay by Michael Arndt, Story by John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton and Lee Unkrich
“True Grit” (Paramount), Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen 
“Winter’s Bone” (Roadside Attractions), Adapted for the screen by Debra Granik & Anne Rosellini :smile:

Will: Social Network. Biggest lock of the night.
Should: None. 
Worst: Toy Story 3 is adapted? From what, Toy Story 2? I’m too lazy to look this up so I guess I’ll never know. To be honest I’m not a fan of most of the nominated screenplays here. Social Network’s dialogue is showy and self aware and I’m very biased against Aaron Sorkin. Still, overall it seems to be a tight scrip and even Sorkin haters like me have to admit that. The dude is a huge creep and I hate, hate, hate West Wing. I liked “127 Hours” the movie (at times) but the scrip seems to be more of a blueprint that goes something like: Man walks, falls into a crack, gets all bummed out and screams “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh” for a few days before drinking his pee and considering masturbating to photos of that hot chick from Brokeback Mountain in his camera. Really, that movie is almost exclusively good because it’s a performance piece centered around a great performance.   
Robbed: Polanski’s Ghost Writer is the polished work of a master. He also gets points for actually writing where many directors his age and status do no (Woody Allen excepted). Also, Edger Wright managed to surpass the Scott Pilgrim comic in a lot of ways and that’s the mark of a good adapted screenplay. The movie’s third act is better than Pilgrim’s last two volumes which is a great treat.

Original screenplay…

“Another Year” (Sony Pictures Classics), Written by Mike Leigh 
“The Fighter” (Paramount), Screenplay by Scott Silver and Paul Tamasy & Eric Johnson, Story by Keith Dorrington & Paul Tamasy & Eric Johnson
“Inception” (Warner Bros.), Written by Christopher Nolan 
“The Kids Are All Right” (Focus Features), Written by Lisa Cholodenko & Stuart Blumberg 
“The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company), Screenplay by David Seidler

Will: Inception should have a decent shot because the Oscars look out of touch by excluding Nolan’s work so often (this is the only film of his to ever get a Best Pic nomination) but I feel the King’s Speech now unstoppable momentum will really help it in this particular category.  
Should: Unlike adapted, a lot of great movies are represented here and that’s nice to see. “Another Year” is subtle and thoughtful but similar to a lot of Mike Leigh films the movie does not seemed to be centered around the script. Then there’s the colorful King’s Speech which gets credit in my book for being that rarest of historical movie that’s not based on a book or any previously published material (way to go!). The movie is not only very funny but has a lot of emotional weight and historical significance.  My vote would go to The Kids Are All Right however. Great story, great dialogue and unlike so many similar independent-ish movies about quirky families (Little Miss Sunshine and Rachael Getting Married come to mind) it’s not shallow, smug or self satisfied. I think back on that movie and smile. Then I want to eat a tomato.
Worst: There’s a lot of cool stuff to look at in Inception but the story is not one of them, it is by far it’s weakest element of the movie. Same thing happened to Avatar but that wasn’t nominated for it’s writing. The Inception story and paper thin characters are so flimsy and flawed that it’s the primary reason I question if it’s even a good movie. Regardless, a part of me is secretly hoping that Nolan wins an Oscar (even for a lesser story) because he’s very talented, he writes his own films and get snubbed way too often. He will get an Oscar eventually (I hope) so we might as well get it out of the way.
Robbed: Baumbach’s writing on Greenberg is some of his best and some of the year’s best. “I’m strangely on tonight!” Top that Seidler!

Best animated feature film of the year…

“How to Train Your Dragon” (Paramount), Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois 
“The Illusionist” (Sony Pictures Classics), Sylvain Chomet 
“Toy Story 3 (Walt Disney), Lee Unkrich

Will: Toy Story 3… worse animated films have won such as the overrated Up and Shrek. It is sad though that Disney/Pixar has won this category four years in a row. Disney buys it ever year. Maybe they should just call the category Best Disney Animated Feature and call it a day.
Should: Dragon. I didn’t expect to like that movie but it’s surprisingly good.

Achievement in art direction…

“Alice in Wonderland” (Walt Disney), Production Design: Robert Stromberg, Set Decoration: Karen O’Hara 
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1? (Warner Bros.), Production Design: Stuart Craig, Set Decoration: Stephenie McMillan 
“Inception” (Warner Bros.), Production Design: Guy Hendrix Dyas, Set Decoration: Larry Dias and Doug Mowat 
“The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company), Production Design: Eve Stewart, Set Decoration: Judy Farr
“True Grit” (Paramount), Production Design: Jess Gonchor, Set Decoration: Nancy Haigh

Will: Again, King’s Speech seems like a safe bet here. It will win just for the speech therapist’s cool looking studio. Makes for a good gay porn set as well from what I hear.
Worst: Alice in Wonderland. Ugh. Ugly ass movie. Tim Burton’s trite aesthetic flair is so played out. 
Should: Inception all the way. Seriously, if Inception doesn’t win it’s flawless for Art Direction then the Oscars should just not have it as a category. I also am very fond of Potter and King’s Speech. Potter is perhaps the best looking film in that series. I’d watch it again just to look at it.
Robbed: Scott Pilgrim. Watching it on Blu-ray is such a treat. I actually found myself pausing it just to look at all the detail. Outside of actresses getting naked how often does that happen? Never!

Achievement in cinematography…

“Black Swan” (Fox Searchlight), Matthew Libatique 
“Inception” (Warner Bros.), Wally Pfister
“The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company), Danny Cohen
“The Social Network” (Sony Pictures Releasing), Jeff Cronenweth :smile:
“True Grit” (Paramount), Roger Deakins

Will: I’m going with the “safe” bet again by guessing True Grit even though I have a feeling it may lose to Speech or Social Network.  It will be nice to finally see a Cohen films wining this award (their films have always been strong in this category. I also think that this is the only big award Grit will get and so it will be saddled with this award much as There Will Be Blood was a few years ago (though that also won Best Actor). Still, Deakins is a true genus of the medium and while this is not his best work it should be good enough to get him a lot of votes. My favorite Deakins shot films would be Barton Fink, The Assassination of Jesse James, House of Sound and Fog, Shawshank Redemption and No Country For Old Men. Jeez, how did he not win for any of those?!
Should: Inception. Wally Pfister is one of the best DPs in the world. Social Network is also amazing to look at because the cinematography is so in sync with Fincher’s vision. Black Swan comes in a close second.
Robbed: Again, Scott Pilgrim. Bill Pope is the man! That film is all over the place but amazingly coherent. I challenge any of the nominees above to turn in something as complex and enjoyable to watch as Pilgrim. It’s like visual candy. 

Achievement in costume design…

“Alice in Wonderland” (Walt Disney), Colleen Atwood 
“I Am Love” (Magnolia Pictures), Antonella Cannarozzi 
“The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company), Jenny Beavan 
“The Tempest” (Miramax), Sandy Powell
“True Grit” (Paramount), Mary Zophres

Will: No way is Alice taking this. King’s Speech.
Should: I Am Love ALLLLLL the way. This film should have gotten more noms and the costumes are amazing. So is the art direction. So is the acting. And directing. And… yeah, it’s very good all around.  
Worst: Alice in Wonderland: Ugh again. Every aspect of this film is ugly and rotted out. Looking at it offends my senses.
Robbed: Scott Pilgrim. Modern costumes always get the shaft.

Best documentary feature…

“Exit through the Gift Shop” (Producers Distribution Agency), A Paranoid Pictures Production, Banksy and Jaimie D’Cruz 
“Gasland”, A Gasland Production, Josh Fox and Trish Adlesic
“Inside Job” (Sony Pictures Classics), A Representational Pictures Production, Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs
“Restrepo” (National Geographic Entertainment), An Outpost Films Production, Tim Hetherington and Sebastian Junger 
“Waste Land” (Arthouse Films), An Almega Projects Production, Lucy Walker and Angus Aynsley

Will: Once again only two films have a shot. Inside Job vs. Exit Through the Gift Shop. Job has the better shot but I have a strong feeling about Exit.
Should: Gift Shop! It’s that rare enjoyable documentary that’s also pretty deep and socially relevant. This year’s Man on Wire in other words.
Robbed: Nothing. Now that I am older I have to admit to myself that I detest the documentary genre. I see, like, one good doc a year. 

Achievement in film editing…

“Black Swan” (Fox Searchlight), Andrew Weisblum 
“The Fighter” (Paramount), Pamela Martin
“The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company), Tariq Anwar
“127 Hours” (Fox Searchlight), Jon Harris
“The Social Network” (Sony Pictures Releasing), Angus Wall and Kirk Baxter :smile:

Will: Once again it’s Speech vs. Network. I think Social Network has a better shot but it’s going to be close. This may be the category that I go back and forth on until the show but for now I’m sticking with Social Network. Not only does Angus Wall have a cool name but he did the editing on films like Zodiac and Panic Room so he racked up some awesome points there.
Should: 127 Hours, next to Franco’s (near) flawless performance this film was made by it’s editing. From where I was sitting Boyle shot a bunch of stuff that probably didn’t mean much until it was assembled in the editing room. Really though I’m a sucker for closed form film making and films are set in a strategically limited space. The better ones are so interesting to watch and so dependent on the rhythms of the editing to keep it alive and fresh.  
Robbed: Take a guess: yup, Scott Pilgrim. The editing is insane yet dovetails with Edgar Wright’s jumpy vision completely. Best editing of the year (really, though, what the hell does anyone know about editing from just looking at the final product)

Best foreign language film of the year…

“Biutiful” (Roadside Attractions), A Menage Atroz, Mod Producciones and Ikiru Films Production, Mexico
“Dogtooth” (Kino International), A Boo Production, Greece 
“In a Better World” (Sony Pictures Classics), A Zentropa Production, Denmark
“Incendies” (Sony Pictures Classics), A Micro-Scope Production, Canada
“Outside the Law (Hors-la-loi)” (Cohen Media Group), A Tassili Films Production, Algeria

Will:Ugh, Biutiful. In A Better World stands the chance of being this year’s Secrets in Their Eyes (meaning: the non-front runner often has a great shot here). Dogtooth has the critics vote but, again, this category cares more about the message than the quality.
Should: Dogtooth all the way. But this category is hard to call because the people voting actually see the movies (as opposed to most other) and are really old and out of touch and… hard to predict.
Robbed: Lots! How about Everyone Else from Germany? How about Wild Grass from France. I could go on but my fingers are getting tired (hehe).

Achievement in makeup…

“Barney’s Version” (Sony Pictures Classics), Adrien Morot 
“The Way Back” (Newmarket Films in association with Wrekin Hill Entertainment and Image Entertainment), Edouard F. Henriques, Gregory Funk and Yolanda Toussieng 
“The Wolfman” (Universal), Rick Baker and Dave Elsey

Will: Wolfman. How could it not? At the very least it’s cooler looking than the makeup in Wolf. Hopkins looked bad ass in this movie.
Should: I think Rick Baker tends to be overrated and his work is too costume-y (despite that not even being a word). I’ll go with Way Back I guess even though I have not seen it. Despite the reviews I’m really excited to see Peter Weir’s Way Back and glad it got at least one nomination (as opposed the butt loads his last film Master and Commander got). I’m very curious what role makeup of all things plays in it. 
Robbed: I’m very happy that no candidates spring to mind.

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)…

“How to Train Your Dragon” (Paramount), John Powell 
“Inception” (Warner Bros.), Hans Zimmer 
“The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company), Alexandre Desplat 
“127 Hours” (Fox Searchlight), A.R. Top Rahman 
“The Social Network” (Sony Pictures Releasing), Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross :smile:  
:grin:

Will: Yes, Desplat has a great shot finally. He’s an amazing composer, one of the best around. Very prolific composer with an astonishing range (from a Twilight movie to a Wes Anderson movie to Julie and Julia to Harry Potter etc.)  so this would be a good time to honor his amazing work in the last ten or so years since “Birth” (at least that’s when I started noticing him). That being said can anyone who saw King’s Speech actually remember it’s music? As opposed to…
Should: Trent Reznor. Trent all the way. Reznor is an amazing musician who has a gifted ear for edgy instrumental music. Okay, I’m a HUGE Nine Inch Nails fan but I feel his score is objectively good. The score is subtle when it needs to be (love the piano stuff) and flashy elsewhere (love the 8bit techno even more). The film industry should throw themselves at this guy because it can really use his talents. Such a refreshing break from the John Williams orchestral standard. Close to him is of course Desplat. Sad, though, that after all these years of rooting for Desplat the year I’m not is the year he will.
Robbed: Oddly enough, Desplat, despite having the best shot at winning for King’s Speech, was robbed for his Ghost Writer score. File that under irony.

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)…

“Coming Home” from “Country Strong” (Sony Pictures Releasing (Screen Gems), Music and Lyric by Tom Douglas, Troy Verges and Hillary Lindsey :roll:
“I See the Light” from “Tangled” (Walt Disney), Music by Alan Menken, Lyric by Glenn Slater
“If I Rise” from “127 Hours” (Fox Searchlight), Music by A.R. Rahman, Lyric by Dido and Rollo Armstrong :roll:
“We Belong Together” from “Toy Story 3? (Walt Disney), Music and Lyric by Randy Newman

Will: Toy Story 3. Because Randy Newman hasn’t won since that last shitty song in Monsters Inc. Or did he win for that movie’s score. I don’t remember. Does it matter? Every piece of music he does sounds the same anyway.
Should: Good God, nobody. I hate this category this year as opposed to most other years where I just dislike it.
Robbed: All the awesome music in Scott Pilgrim. Garbage Truck for one. The opening song for another. Oh, and Scott’s Ramona song (written by Beck) is solid gold.

Achievement in visual effects…

“Alice in Wonderland” (Walt Disney), Ken Ralston, David Schaub, Carey Villegas and Sean Phillips
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1? (Warner Bros.), Tim Burke, John Richardson, Christian Manz and Nicolas Aithadi
“Hereafter” (Warner Bros.), Michael Owens, Bryan Grill, Stephan Trojanski and Joe Farrell
“Inception” (Warner Bros.), Paul Franklin, Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley and Peter Bebb 
“Iron Man 2? (Paramount and Marvel Entertainment, Distributed by Paramount), Janek Sirrs, Ben Snow, Ged Wright and Daniel Sudick  :smile:

Will: Of course Inception should win because it’s easily the most relevant film of the the year and has the most creative use of effects of the bunch.  The effects are brilliantly invisible in the way they are integrated into the material. It’s literally groundbreaking. 
Should: Inception. I’m a bigger fan of Iron Man 2 than most people I know and I gotta say I love the look and feel of Potter but nothing comes close to Inception’s visuals and presentation. 
Robbed: Tron. Say what you will about the movie (and I’ve said what I’ve, um, willed) but, come on, it should at least be in the top five. While Tron’s 3D is not very good at times and the CGI Jeff Bridges looks like an uncanny valley drop-out (I guess that’s better than dropping out of Sweet Valley), it’s certainly better than, say, the grotesque and muddy looking Alice in Wonderland monstrosity which has no right being here. Or anywhere.


Yawn: The Other Categories
Once again I find myself wondering why these are part of the show and not announced separately.

Best documentary short subject…

“Killing in the Name”, A Moxie Firecracker Films Production, Nominees to be determined
“Poster Girl”, A Portrayal Films Production, Nominees to be determined
“Strangers No More”, A Simon & Goodman Picture Company Production, Karen Goodman and Kirk Simon
“Sun Come Up”, A Sun Come Up Production, Jennifer Redfearn and Tim Metzger
“The Warriors of Qiugang”, A Thomas Lennon Films Production, Ruby Yang and Thomas Lennon

Will: Who Cares. Fine, whatever, Strangers No More. Congratulations!

Best animated short film…

“Day & Night” (Walt Disney), A Pixar Animation Studios Production, Teddy Newton
“The Gruffalo”, A Magic Light Pictures Production, Jakob Schuh and Max Lang
“Let’s Pollute”, A Geefwee Boedoe Production, Geefwee Boedoe
“The Lost Thing”, (Nick Batzias for Madman Entertainment), A Passion Pictures Australia Production, Shaun Tan and Andrew Ruhemann
“Madagascar, carnet de voyage (Madagascar, a Journey Diary)”, A Sacrebleu Production, Bastien Dubois

Will: Who cares. Oh, I already said that. Going with the bigger Disney short was once a safe bet but not anymore. So it’s Day/Night vs. Gruffalo. Gruffalo then because I’m tired of getting burned here and there’s probably a bunch of Jeneane Graffalo fans out there that think this short is about her… as if that crappy MTV 90s animated show Daria wasn’t already. 

Best live action short film…

“The Confession” (National Film and Television School), A National Film and Television School Production, Tanel Toom
“The Crush” (Network Ireland Television), A Purdy Pictures Production, Michael Creagh
“God of Love”, A Luke Matheny Production, Luke Matheny
“Na Wewe” (Premium Films), A CUT! Production, Ivan Goldschmidt
“Wish 143?, A Swing and Shift Films/Union Pictures Production, Ian Barnes and Samantha Waite

Will: Wish 143. Why? The title. I have a theory that the “best” sounding title, one with the most oomph, usually wins because people are stupid.

Achievement in sound editing…

“Inception” (Warner Bros.), Richard King :smile:
“Toy Story 3? (Walt Disney), Tom Myers and Michael Silvers
“Tron: Legacy” (Walt Disney), Gwendolyn Yates Whittle and Addison Teague :neutral:
“True Grit” (Paramount), Skip Lievsay and Craig Berkey 
“Unstoppable” (20th Century Fox), Mark P. Stoeckinger

Will: Inception.
Should: Inception.
Robbed: Pilgrim.

Achievement in sound mixing…

“Inception” (Warner Bros.), Lora Hirschberg, Gary A. Rizzo and Ed Novick :smile:
“The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company), Paul Hamblin, Martin Jensen and John Midgley
“Salt” (Sony Pictures Releasing), Jeffrey J. Haboush, Greg P. Russell, Scott Millan and William Sarokin :mad:
“The Social Network” (Sony Pictures Releasing), Ren Klyce, David Parker, Michael Semanick and Mark Weingarten
“True Grit” (Paramount), Skip Lievsay, Craig Berkey, Greg Orloff and Peter F. Kurland

Will: First off, how the hell did King’s Speech get nominated in this category? Der. Okay, then, Inception.
Should: Inception.
Robbed: Scott Pilgrim.

My initial reactions reposted…

:grin: Noms

  1. Christian Bale in The Fighter. We all knew it would happen but it still feels great that Bale finally got nominated and is the frontrunner for the win.
  2. Trent Reznor for Social Network. I honestly didn’t think the Oscars were progressive enough to know good music when they heard it.
  3. Dogtooth nominated for Foreign Film. Greece’s first nom in 30 years!
  4. Michelle Williams in Blue Valentine.
  5. After being snubbed so long ago for You Can Count On Me (his first role) Mark Ruffalo finally gets a nomination.
  6. John Hawkes!
  7. David O. Fucking Russell, congrats! You were snubbed for directing Three Kings so this one’s earned. Good movie to boot.

:evil: Snubs

  • Christopher Nolan for directing Inception–an average movie in my book but one with exceptionally noteworthy direction. The Oscars hate Nolan for some reason. And of all the things to nominated him for… they go with writing? Really?! The film has a clear visual mastery going for it but, come on, the story and plotting sucked and only exist to serve the visuals. It’s shocking and sad that a director of Nolan’s caliber, who is doing very interesting things with big Hollywood budgets is getting passed over. Nobody makes big movies like Nolan does and the Oscars love big movies (Avatar). So what gives? His Dark Knight is the reason the Best Picture nominees got increased to 10 and his snub here should really be looked at.
  • Ryan Gosling–Michelle Williams, also very good, got nominated. But Gosling was amazing. I don’t get it.
  • Ghost Writer–in almost all categories. Writing, directing, editing, cinematography, and acting (Brosnan and Williams esp).
  • Scott Pilgrim–No sound or editing nominations? BS. Unstoppable got nominated but not Pilgrim!
  • Shutter Island–It had a tiny bit of momentum but nobody was buying. Sad considering it’s Scorsese’s best movie in years.
  • Leslie Manville for her performance in Another Year. So sad she missed out. She’s in good company though because the Oscars also snubbed Sally Hawkings in Leigh’s Happy Go Lucky. Something about wacky Leigh characters the Oscars don’t like.
  • How does Annette Bening get nominated in Kids are All Right but not Julianne Moore? Benning is very good in that movie. Moore is every bit as good.
  • Okay, Tron: Legacy sucked but to not nominated in the Best Visual Effects category is insane.
  • Inceptionagain. I just realized that it missed out on an editing nomination. The only two noms it should have gotten is directing and, yeah, editing. That is missed both is insane and they might as well have not nominated for Best Picture in that case (which would have been fine by me).
  • I would say Waiting for Superman in the doc category except it’s not a snub if it shouldn’t have been nominated in the first place. Surprising, yes, snub no.
  • Andrew Garfield had a good shot of getting nominated but the real best supporting actor in Social Network was Armie Hammer. Not was Armie Hammer snubbed but his twin, Armie Hammer, was also snubbed.
  • Ditto Mila Kunisin Black Swan. She had great odds with a SAG and Globe nom but I felt her performance was lacking and unmemorable. Barbara Hershey was not and she should have been nominated in the supporting category. Hence the snub.

Wut?

  • A Clint Eastwood movie gets nominated for visual effects. Hum. Haven’t seen the film. And don’t want to but, hey, it’s Clint so I got to.
  • Alice in Wonderland gets three nominations. That’s three nominations too many
  • 127 Hours gets a Screenplay nod. Really?
  • Inception also gets a Screenplay nomination. Makes no sense. That would be like nominating Avatar for its writing last year (which they didn’t).
  • Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled that the GREAT Mike Leigh got his fifth writing nomination for his amazing work on Another Year. But, as with 127 Hours and Inception, this is not a writerly film. Plus, isn’t a lot of dialogue improv?
  • True Grit is an okay movie. I liked it. And I like the Coen Brothers but this is not close to one of their better directed films. I don’t know how they slipped in this year over Boyle, Affleck, Nolan or some of the other buzzed about directors. I guess they’ll get nominated for making just about anything at this point. Time for a Ladykillers 2!

Overall, a solid list of nominees. Nothing too awful here. Some overrated films (Social Network, True Grit, etc.) but overrated films that are far from bad. I just this was a very weak year for movies in general so if this is the best Hollywood could do then I guess it could have been worse.

 

 

1. Mass Effect 2 (Xbox 360)
I don’t often give Xbox 360 games their due. Well, here I am giving them their due. Mass Effect 2 is a juggernaut and, as far as the world of video games is concerned, the year belonged to it. It’s literally peerless, especially when you take into account that not even the first Mass Effect matches up to its grandeur or efficiency. Mass Effect 2 is a perfect sci-fiaction RPG adventure and, yeah, while that’s a lot of genres at play the game is streamlined and the genres all add an invaluable imprint. I can even call it a “Choose Your Own Adventure” game because multiple playthroughs yield different experiences; all brilliant and unique. It’s similar to Heavy Rain in that respect except with 100% more alien sex. In a nutshell, the story has you traversing the universe to discover why humans are being abducted. But that description is as lacking as saying that Star Wars is story about a kid that finds his father. This is a fully realized science fiction world (as good as any other modern sci-fi mythos) where you can (or at least feel like you can) do anything. Most importantly, you feel like you, as a player, make an impact on the world(s) and that effect is unique to how you play it. In other words, it’s your game! Having a real sense of ownership of the story and characters puts Mass Effect ahead of just about anything else out there. From his and her design to the choices made under their command, Commander Shepard is, for better or worse, my character. I played through the game as two very different Shepards, one an evil male (natch) and the other a morally fierce female. As good as those playthroughs have been for me I can’t wait to start it all over again on PS3. But that’s not all because the year will end with the release of Mass Effect 3 and by that time the series’s domination will be complete. Mass Effect 2 is an easy choice for game of the year for me. I can put up no argument that, alongside Uncharted 2, it’s the most important game in the current generation.


2. Just Cause 2 (PS3)
The most underrated game of the year. I’m calling JC2 a sandbox killer because once I played it I can never go back to other open world games. It’s first victim is the overrated Red Dead Redemption voted game of the year by most sites and publications but rendered useless and boring and about 1/100% as enjoyable as JC2. If my criteria of what the best game of the year was simply what I had the most fun playing day in and day out then Just Cause 2 would be that game. It’s the kind of game where beatingit is nice but ultimately means nothing because you keep going back. When I fire up up my save I never know what I’m going to do. I do, however, know that I will have a lot of fun. As a bonus, the game even lets you record your antics and post it on Youtube! JC2 is also the ultimate time killer. Hours will go by and as you’re gliding through the air you will marvel at where you are and how you got there and appreciate theguarantee that whatever you do next it will also be a blast. Creatingan open world game where you can not only grapple anythingyou can see (including people) but also whip out a parachute creates near limitless potential for fun and mayhem. Add to that a beautiful jungle island that, to my knowledge, is the biggest open world game of all time (San Andreas might be bigger) and you have a truly special experience. As for the story and the main character go, neither are good. And that’s not a bad thing because open world games are almost always hurt by too much story. It’s not needed because it’s OPEN WORLD and story, by design, is restrictive and didactic. Just Cause 2 gets that while so many games like GTA, RDR and Mafia II don’t. Next to Red Faction Guerrilla and San Andreas this is the best open world game ever made.
3. Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker (PSP)
It’s rare enough for a PSP game to make the list at all, let alone at a position this high. That’s the wonder of Peace Walker. It’s NOT a PSP game. It’s a Metal Gear game. As full and complete and satisfying as the best Metal Gear Solid experiences out there (meaning: part one and three). The title transcends whatever system it’s one, be it the 8-bit NES or top-of-the-line PS3. Another reason this should not reduced by its handheld “limitations”… it’s huge. Though I spend a good chunk of my summer beating it, I’m still playing it.
4.  Alan Wake (Xbox 360) (tie)
Three games tied for the number 4. Normally I don’t like doing that but 2010 saw the impressive and unexpected return of mystery/horror games. The following three titles elevated the genre in uniquely different ways. The similarities they share is that they are all near perfect classics. Very rare for that to happen in this genre. Even more rare that it would happen three times in a year.

Another Xbox exclusive makes the list! What happens when an author’s dark imagination turns against him? You get one of the best survival horror games of all time. I put off playing this game for obvious reasons. It looked lame. Dark woods–yeah, been there. Strange hauntings–yeah, yeah, I know the drill. Creepy small town setting–that would be special if none of us ever played Silent Hill. Well I was wrong to not play this game for so long. Cliches do not slow down this air tight survival horror expiernce. In fact, as much as I love Resident Evil 4 and Dead Space (the King and Queen of survival horror in my book) this game beats them in a lot of ways. The setting perfectly fits the atmospheric spooks. The story is deep and complex and rationed out in enjoyable bits. The use of music and Television conventions is truly innovative (the entire game is a “season” with episodes acting as chapters). The central light mechanic (flashlights are your main weapon against the evil “darkness”) is smartly implemented and creates a lot of surreal sights of morbid beauty as twisted shafts of light stand out from afar and bathe you in safety when you’re in its warm embrace. You feel this game. It’s so visceral. When you’re running through the woods in dark with one bullet left and no flash light juice you WILL feel the pressure. This is a survival horror game where the menace is more or less a logical part of the narrative. And the self awareness featuring an author caught up in his own world/nightmares/mania adds a tremendous purpose to what you’re doing. The last thing this game wants you to do is question the logic of what happening and that’s ironic because this is a game that holds up quite well.
4. Heavy Rain (PS3)
A landmark in the medium of video games. A story you enjoy in the same way you might read a book, except you’re simultaneously experiencing the story and helping to create it. Or not… because this is not for everyone. Heavy Rain will or at least should be studied for the way it uses the narrative form to engage the player in a multi-faceted mystery. The game requires you to to find a serial killer and make the tough choices and sacrifices along the way to get it done. Not an easy task. This game challenges you. Not in terms of gameplay (which is smooth and well designed) but psychologically. I do not feel it’s embellishing to say that no mystery/thriller movie or novel has the ability to affect the player/viewer the what Heavy Rain does. A landmark title in not just video games but the mystery genre.
4. Deadly  Premonition (Xbox 360)
Another mystery/horror game makes the list. In a year that polished games with high production values bought um earned uniformly good reviews, Deadly Premonition, the small game that could, got awful reviews. That right there exposes the video game “journalism” industry as a bought and owned fraud. But who cares about critics, it’s all about the players and the cult experience many of enjoyed this year. When playing one must keep in mind that it’s a b-movie of a game that borrows from that other b-movies/shows like Twin Peaks. It also borrows (perhaps not intentionally) from Silent Hill, Heavy Rain and Alan Wake. And why not? It’s one of those games that gets everything right… by doing everything “wrong” technically speaking. The controls are awkward, the open world is bland and tedious, the story is weird, the characters are out of place, the dialogue is… uh, very Japanese (“What a hell! EVEN ___ has been killed” blank space added to avoid a spoil), the survival horror is well below the gold standard Resident Evil 4 set (on the PS2 no less!) and the graphics, oh the graphics, look like they were rejected from a Xbox era game. But all of that contributes to the unhinged small town nightmarish aura the game is going for.
The game is not just good but one of the most pure and endearing video game experiences of the year. Amazingly, it starts off so bad it’s good and ends up so good it’s, well, good. The game shines brighter than so many American products that are either sequels or involve the military. DP is about a quirky FBI agent named York Morgan (Agent Cooper meets Agent Mulder meets Agent Tyler Durden) who waltzes into a small, David Lynchian town with his imaginary friend, determined to investigate a murder… and drink as much coffee as possible. The the way the cream swirls in his coffee, by the way, gives him vital clues as to where to go next. Of course things go to hell (almost literally) from there and the story spirals out of control as a Raincoat killer straight out of “I Know What You Did Last Summer” strikes again and again… and again. The game never takes itself too seriously but still manages to be scary and atmospheric. And heartfelt! The character of Yorke and his imaginary friend is a gem and one of the best original video game heroes of all time. He makes creepy rape faces every chances he gets, talks to his “friend” Zach about b-movies constantly (he loves “Tremors” and “Remo Williams,” how cool is that?!) and he gets visited by demons that nobody else seems to be able to see. Actually, I’m wrong one other person can see and it’s it’s the player and we’re just as crazy as him for playing this delightful cult game.



5. Bayonetta (Xbox 360)
The best action game since the first Ninja Gaidenon on the original Xbox. This game is unrelenting. “Enough” is just not in its vocabulary. What starts as an obnoxious Japanese action game starring a naked witch with a “Tangled”-sized rope of black hair (that’s also functions as her suit!) who battles angles in her free time turns very quickly into a symphony of beauty, violence and gorgeously choreographed, balls-out hyper sexualized fighting. The creator of the game admits that each battle is basically designed as a violent reenactment of the act of sex ending in, uh, a very intense moment. From there, each individual battle does likewise as it leads up to the (always crazy) end boss of each level. And finally the bosses (and there’s a lot of em) ramp up to the orgasm of all orgasms. Your primary endgame is to defeat God, or at least a God called Jubileus, The Creator (great boss name btw!). It’s not a stretch to state that I don’t think I’ve ever played a game as over-the-top as Bayonetta. In a year with an unusually large among of fighting games, it’s curious how lazy this once great genre has grown. While not bad, the current king of action games, God of War 3, added nothing to the franchise and that was before Dante’s Inferno, Darksiders, and Castlevania: Lord of Shadows all embarrassed themselves by copying the clearly stagnant GOW formula. Unlike those button mashing boy’s club efforts (the best of which is Castlevania I guess), Baynotta changed things. She is able to take on a God and kill it in the game and does a similar thing to the action genre outside of it. Where do we go from Bayonetta? There’s no topping it!


6. Pac Man Championship Edition DX (PS3)
How good is the new Pac Man game? The DX stands for dick xplosion! It’s that fun! The most simple yet addicting game of the year. Pure kinetic movement. I sunk hours into it last year and will sink countless more hours this year trying to improve upon what I did last year. The feelingI get while gobbling up those ubiquitous dots and stringing up them sweet-ass ghost trains up before chomping them all into the digital void of nothingness with Mr Pac Man’s pizza slice shaped maw is so basic yet so fundamentally enjoyable. Eating dots and reversing the tables on ghosts is like buildingblock of all video games. AHHHH, SOOO GOOOD<<<. In a way, in a lot of ways actually, this is a perfect game in the sense that what it does, it does perfectly. There’s no room for improvement with Pac Man CE. So many late hours were spent trying to top my personal score, checking out leaderboards (you people are insane!) and of course trying to grab the most ghost combos possible. Who could have ever guessed that in a year that saw the release of new Halo, Call of Duty, God of War and Fallout games, Pac Man would beat them all! Could 2011 be the year of Pong?

7. Vanquish (PS3)
I can’t believe how good Vanquish turned out. The game looks like a generic space shooter when in actuality in revitalizes the genre much in the same way Bayonetta did. With hyperbolic flourishes of overkill. The guy behind Resident Evil made this game as the shooter to end all shooters. Vanquish delivers in ways many shooters don’t even bother with. I don’t consider myself to be a huge fan of the genre but if I’m going to play one I want to shoot! A lot! This game gives me exactly what I want, unlike Gears of War which just annoyed me with it’s false sense of story, overwrought atmosphere and annoying grunting characters. This game eschews all that in favor of, yes, shooting. Pure, blissful almost orgasmic bouts of shooting. And when you are not shooting you are dashingfrom one cover spot to another so you can shoot some more. And you shoot everything. Mech, robots, giant robots, giant mechs, air crafts, humans, you name it. This is the Bayonetta of shooting games and if there were any justice both games would have sold more than Halo and Black Ops combined. Of course that didn’t happen.


8. Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood (PS3)
It’s good! It’s actually good! A cash-in? Of course. This game exists to milk every last drop of blood from the franchise before the next big Creed release. Still, had they called Brotherhood Assassin’s Creed III instead not many people would have objected because it’s a full length and fully satisfying experience. One just as good as any other Assassin’s Creed title (or most games released this year for that matter) and that’s high praise. As cash grab expansions go this game fares much better than Fallout: New Vegas, Black Ops and last year’s horrible Halo: ODST. Bottom line, I didn’t expect to love Brotherhood but here I am saying I love it and meaning it. Openingup Rome is one of the defining moments of the entire series. Contrary to what I thought before playing there’s a lot to do and lot more story to uncover in the increasingly complex Creed mythology. The side quests, ranging from recruiting assassin’s and giving them orders a la Metal Gear: Peace walker to buying landmarks with all your hard earned loot, are as enjoyable as the main ones.  As an aside I can’t help but think that if Ubisoft is going to spin-off another AC game they should now make one that is Desmond-centric, but that’s just me. Maybe Ubisoft still will seeing as how you now get to control Desmond in his own little open world area (which, in a very cool twist, is the modern setting of the very same hub plaza from AC2). The story works because it expands the mythology without exhausting it (the game conveniently skirts the more sci-fi alien visitors stuff, which may or may not be a good thing) while the new cat-and-mouse multiplayer mode is actually a lot of fun and thematically relevant as MPs go rather than some forced mp component. While Brotherhood won’t win any awards for creativity it sets a welcome new benchmark for full priced expansion games. This is a must for fans of Assassin’s Creed.



9. Super Mario Galaxy 2 (Wii)
I can be jaded when it comes to Wii games. Hell, a lot of us adults playing video games are and for good reason. We play games like Mass Effect and Heavy Rain and Final Fantasy and Halo etc. and have little respect for recycled “kids” fluff, especially when it appears on the more lazy than not Wii console. But the worst thing a gamer like me (or any anybody) can do is ignore a quality title like Super Mario Galaxy 2 because of the system it’s on. There’s no reason not to play this game. Mario is back and, well, that’s it. The story is of course a non-factor (this is a Nintendo game after all). The gameplay is however a major factor and that’s what matters with a series like this. Everything that was great about the first Galaxy is back, better and bigger. Sure the first Galaxy was far more innovative for its time but the platforming, the hub space ship world, and the use of gravity and planet hopping is top notch. And the ability to play as Luigi and Yoshi is the icing on the cake. This game provides non stop fun and smiles while also providing a strong challenge. It is the King of platforming. That being said it disturbs me to see that in 2010 more people were still playing and buying last years uninspired and overrated New Super Mario Bros Wii over this but, as I said, it’s on the Wii and the kids who play that system wouldn’t know or respect a quality game if they got it for free. See, there I go again being jaded.



10. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game (PS3 Network)
Not quite an 8bit game. More like 16bit. Hey, not a problem. This game takes me back to the beat-em-ups of  the golden era. Similar to games like Double Dragon and River City Ransom but with a elevated sense of humor and a lot of cool references to past games and of course the Pilgrim comic/movie. This is a meta-game about games! So much to love here, especially the price ($15). The combat is fun and actually very complex (not to mention HARD in the early stages). The co-op is exciting (even though it lacks an on-line mode for some reason). The story is classic Pilgrim pugilism. The music rocks to no end. The stat and XP building is so deep it almost takes the game into RPG territory. And the little details thrown in are appreciated by any fan of the Pilgrim film or comics; ex. Edgar Wright makes a cameo, all the characters from the book are included (love the gay bearded music guy) and you can even pay off Scott’s $400+ late fee for Land of the Lost. Haha. A lot of love went into this game. Well, consider that love reciprocated.
also…

Valkyria Chronicles 2 (PSP)
The second of three PSP games to make the list. Up until 2010 there were not three worthy games in the systems entire run! But this is not a case of too little too late. It’s never too late for a new ValkyriaChronicles game. They’re even making a 3rd game for the PSP. This is a full fledged Valkyria Chronicles game that I can play in bed. Consider me recruited to the cause. While the game is a bit watered down from the amazing PS3 cult hit (I hate how the maps are divided) it’s just great to see the series live on in any capacity. The strategy RPG elements are as sharp as ever and the game even manages to surpass its forebear in some ways by including fantastic pre-mission segments set in your company’s barracks. I love the hub world offered and feel it connects the game world more than the history book gimmick of the last game. That being said the story proper is not particularly strong and the young hero is about as annoying as JRPG young heroes get (his stupid hair and annoying laugh haunts me: “Ah HA, ah HAHAHA”). VC2 packs so much into such little space that it gives Metal Gear Peace Walker a run for its money.

Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth (DS)
A bold new perspective for the point and click series pays off. The series is known for it’s charming problem solving lawyer action but this spin-off focuses on detective work. And it works! Edgeworth is a fine character that deserves his own game and I’m happy to see his first outing to be such a success. Perhaps not financially (this is a cult game after all) but certainly in terms of how fun it is. For a series not known for its innovation this game is a mini-revelation. Can’t wait for the second part.

Persona 3 Portable (PSP)
Were it new and/or had it not already received the FES treatment, the PSP Persona would be the best game of the year.  No question. The PSPsimprobable rise to fame in 2010 continued with the superlative Persona 3 port. Just enough is changed from its PS2 brother to make it a must-play for Persona fans. Beingthat I picked this game as the second best of the entire decade one extra line of dialogue would have sealed the deal for me let alone an entirely new playable female character. Oh yeah, and the game came with Jumpei’s hat! The lack of an explorable game world hurts a bit but hardly enough to make a dent in one’s overall enjoyment of what might be the best JRPG of all time. I’ve beaten the PS3 version of Persona 3 two times and logged plenty of hours into this new portable version. Even if I never finish this version it makes me feel good knowing I have it and can play it anywhere. If that’s not the definition of nerdy than I don’t know what is?

Dark Void (PS3)
Perhaps the most underrated “bad” game of the year. As high profile flops go, Bionic Commando this is not. Imagine Uncharted with a jet pack. And aliens. Great fun, quit complaining. It’s world war 2 and Hitler’s winning. The solution? Fly around an alternate dimension shooting UFOs down and hijacking others only to land (or crash) them and take cover so you can kill a bunch of aliens. This game is exhilarating at times. I don’t know why people are so hostile towards it, especially now that you can get it on PS3, Xbox360 or PC for a little over $5 bucks. EA thought it had a big franchise on its hands and Brad Pitt even optioned Dark Void for a movie. Whoops. Less than a year later and very few people even remembers it existed. Those it do make fun of it. I have a soft spot for it. It’s even better than…

Castlevania: Lord of Shadows (PS3)
Definitely a love/hate thing going on with this game. Impressive looking. Insane combat. Beautiful visuals (the inside of castles look as gorgeous as snow covered mountains). Great voice actingfeaturing awesome narrative oration by Patrick Stewart. And an ending that knocked me out of my chain mail. This game has a lot going for it… but a lot going against it at the same time. Namely, it can be slow, tedious, awkwardly designed (pulling a lever and punchinga button can be a challenging!), overlong (I rarely say that) and at times infuriating. The puzzle sections also suck. Seekingto create a new line in the long running franchise the game missteps by tryingto be God of War, Shadow of the Colossus and Lord of the Rings. The fact that the one thing it does not try very hard to be is Castlevania is odd and off putting. At least until the end. Oh, the end. Loved it! Overall, and despite my bitching, not a bad game at all and easily the best 3D Castelvania to date (sorry Lament of Innocence). I hope Konami make a follow-up because I have a feelingit will be something special. If you can get this title for cheap it’s well worth picking up.

Halo: Reach (Xbox 360)
Halo is a fun. Still. Somehow, and I don’t know how or why because it’s not like the series has tried anything new since, like, dual wielding. So, yes, Halo is not better than ever but in a lot of ways (some good, some bad) it’s as good as ever. A streamlined product that is the total refinement of a truly original idea (Halo: Combat Evolved) that single handily ignited a new era of console gaming. While some fans feel the series gets better and better (story and gameplay) I have the opposite reaction. The concept gets more and more used up for lack of a better word. It’s entertainingbut not really exciting anymore. By doingthe whole Master Chief-less prequel thing (again!?) and setting the game on the doomed planet Reach, a world on the cusp of a world-ending war, this is as good of a place as any to “end” the series–certainly better than the shamefully lackingODST. The game gets points for not only providing a polished Halo experience but for connectingwith the player emotionally. The fatalism of thinggame is quite compelling. I wonder if Microsoft will quickly cash-in a la Modern Warfare’s year-in/year-out model or give the series a proper breather before craftinga proper reboot and/or exploring a new aspect to freshen up the same-y universe? I hope the Halo series is careful and takes its time but why should it be? People will buy no matter what because, lets face it, the core FPS fan is the kind of meathead who is more interested in callingpeople “fags” and spamming grenades with 12-year-olds than being challenged by a new Halo or single-player Bioshock story. And being that I’m somewhat of a Halo fan I guess I’m just as bad as everyone else. Given that even Halo is now using some of Modern Warfare’s aesthetics (the tightly shot FPS narrative passages) I think I know where this is heading and it’s fate could be far worse than that of the planet Reach.

Enslaved (PS3)
So much vision. Such a cool plot. Such intriguing characters. And yet still something’s missing! Above all I love running around in this postapoclayptic Eden. Doing so with Andy Sirkus as a buffed out brute named monkey with some random hot chick wearing ripped pants makes it even more fun in the non homoerotic sense of the word (that’s why I mentioned the girl). Made by the same crew of Heavenly Sword (and future maker of the Devil May Cry reboot that is almost guaranteed to suck), this game is full of atmosphere. The world, or what’s left of it, is lush and the remnants of a long past civilization (our civilization) is ugly, rusty and rotting. That stark contrast makes for a great visual duality. The story (basically getting from point A to B) is involving but with a premise about a (hot as hell) woman enslaving an apish man and forcing him to do her bidding while bitching at him to “hurry up!” all along the way (because god forbid he takes too long or strays too far from her clutches) I got very annoyed very quickly. When Metroid: Other M’s female protagonist was controlled by the male powers that be everybody freaked out but nobody seems to mind it when the roles are reversed. Seriously, though, we’d need about 1,000 more games like this before the it balances out so I’m far from offended. That being said, that’s not even the problem with the game. It’s the gameplay and short length that ultimately hurts the experience. The GOW fighting is shallow but at least it’s fun on that simple punch-punch-heavy-punch level. The rest of the game is climb-based platforming which is oh so popular these days. But the climbing/jumping/shimmying/dropping routine is tedious and mostly unrewarding; more Prince of Persia reboot than anything Nathan Drake got into. As for the length, well, that’s not so much of a problem now that the game (an under performer) is bargain priced. Problems aside, Enslaved is still very fun and belongs more on the good list here than the slightly-less-than-good one featured below.
Note: This is the only first person shooter to make my best list this year though I did have fun playing Battlefield: Bad Company 2.

Fable III (Xbox 360)
This is the first Fable game to make my list because it’s the first Fable game to be, uh, good. It’s true. The past games bite off more than they can chew and end up muddled and awkward examples of almost-great western RPGs. While deeply flawed this game gets a lot right. First off I love the setting. An industrialized world that’s as much steam punk as it is D&D. The characters are fun and lively, the dialogue is brilliantly wry as is the story and graphics. The main reason this Fable makes the list though is the basic hook. You play a sibling to a tyrannical king. Throughout the entire game you defect and rebel, building up your “terrorist” group in an effort to overthrow him. But that’s not the end. Once you do a new kind of game begins. Sure, the game fails in lot of areas (combat is simple, some glitches etc.) but the sense of tangible progress is undeniable winning. I not only got the thrill of overthrowing a king but of managing my own kingdom. In between, the game adds some awesome Sims/Dark Cloud elements like buying property, managing your house, raising a family and either being good or evil to the people in the kingdom. As Mel Brooks said, “it’s good to be King” and it’s just good to play as one–especially when he’s a total dick. In the end Fable III is brought down by it’s short length and inability to wrap everything up. Like the other Fable titles, it’s a victim of its own ambitions.

Professor Layton and the Unwound Future (DS)
Layton and his man-love boy Luke travel to the future to solve more random-ass puzzles. When in trouble thugs will say “It’s time to teach you a lesson! Solve this puzzle!” instead of just beating you up. No worries, Layton never misses a beat, he busts out some of his most gentlemen-like moves to date. Featuring more back story and a very fun plot, Unwound Future is the best Layton game to date. The puzzles are weak but that’s the only shortcoming in an otherwise very fun game. We get exactly one new Layton game every year and this is one of the only franchises where that’s not enough.

Super Scribblenauts (DS)
The first is still the best in my eyes. But many now prefer this one for all it improves (more words and better controls). This game’s updated vocabulary (with big hairy slimy adjectives now!) maximizes the random-ass fun to be had as your imagination runs wild. The level building feature is also very fun.

NBA Jam (Wii)
The classic NBA Jam returns. And besides graphics nothing has changed. And that’s exactly why it’s still great. It will always be great.
Alien vs. Predator–I actually had a lot of fun with this new Alien game in which you can play as humans, aliens and, um, more aliens (Predators). Each mode has its own story and mechanics. The story is decent (Bishop is back !) and the three campaigns are competently interwoven into the narrative.  During these campaign the first person shooting is innovative and switches styles based on the character (Marines shoot, Aliens crawl and Predators are stealthy bad-asses). The game is a somewhat low rent so people poo-pooed all over it. Their loss. Easy for me to say since I didn’t actually buy it but it makes for a great (and quick) rental.

Angry Birds (iPhone)
Some people are bitching that casual games are ruining legit games. Uh, hardly! As if $1 games will ever fully replace Modern Warfare. And if they do, great, that’s lets me buy 59 more games. Angry Birds came out late last year but (literally) exploded in 2010. These physics based games are very addicting. And very simple. But it’s simplicity should not be considered dumb. Far from that. This game is very challenging and very rewarding. The constant updates are great too.
The Worst Game of the Year:

Final Fantasy XIII
It’s a bad sign when the best character in a game is a black dude with a Chocobo living in his afro. It’s all downhill from there and it’s a steep hell because this is far and away the worst game of the year. The shocking thing for me though is that I never thought I have to call a Final Fantasy game the worst anything of any given year. If the series is the stuff of legend (and it is) than it’s most recent installment is the stuff of infamy. My hatred for this game is intensified by the fact that it exists in what may be my favorite video game genre of all time. This linear role playing game is of touch in almost every way imaginable and games like this are the reason American gamers laugh at Japanese RPGsand the reason many feel Japanese games are on their way out. FFXIII stubbornly withholds all the joys of RPGs and including a lamentable lack or misuse of open endedness, item management, character development, character design, story, writing and any sort of variety. That it somehow figured out how to offer a decent battle system is a small miracle seeing as how it fucks up everything else.
To play and beat the game ALL you need is two pieces of tape. That’s it! Once the game is fired up and the exasperating cut scenes play out (beware of some uberannoying anime cliche characters that giggle and “uuughn” and give their best blue steel faces while wearing outfits designed by retarded cosplay wearing teenage girls) you use the first piece of tape on the analogue. Tape it forward. Next, place the second strip of tape on the x button (or A button on the Xbox–which no Final Fantasy game should ever be played on by the way). Your character will now run and hit the action button endlessly. As your character automatically runs straight (straight is the only direction in this linear game) and fight her/their way through mildly challenging battles on her/their own, you are free to do whatever you want and, trust me, sitting in front of the game is not what you want unless you want punishment. Twenty or thirty hours later your taped controller will have beaten the game. Upon beating the game I had only one thought and feeling: I hate you, Final Fantasy XIII. I cursed it’s creation every second I played it, cursed its characters and cursed some more through the end credits. Then I cursed at my dogs for allowing me to play through this entire game without putting me out of my misery. Friends don’t let friends play Final Fantasy XIII. To put things in perspective I called Final Fantasy XII the best game of the year and ranked it as one of the ten best of the decade. It’s not just a case of how the mighty have fallen but how the mighty have fallen and dragged its fans down with it in the process.
Runner Up: Metriod: Other M
I bought this game. I actually paid money for it. Lots of people did. Why? Because it’s Metriod and not just Metriod but a console version of Metroid from the guys who made Ninja Gaiden. Well you know what, we all got screwed.
What Happened?
Overrated/Disappointing/Etc.
1. Red Dead Redemption–The most critically acclaimed game of the year and, accordingly, the most overrated. I think “older” gamers like me are to blame. I guess they like the pacing and the novelty of the western genre. Yes, I played it. And beat it. And I never want to touch it again. Not bad by any means (I’d give it a B- or 8.0 out of 10) but it’s just another pretentious Rockstar game full of pointless side quests, imprecise shooting and glitches. Maybe that’s why I call it Grand Theft Auto IV with horses. That game also got plenty of GOTY awards so I must be missing something. A big something. As an aside, I continue to detest Rockstar’scharacter models, motion capture and cinematic cut scenes. Very hackyand predictable. It’s all hand waving, pacingand silly posturing.
2. Fallout New Vegas–Ugh, this is still a sore subject. The follow-up to my game of the year for 2007 will not even make my top twenty. That’s the very definition of “What happened?” The answer:… nothing. And after sinking almost 250 hours in Fallout 3 (one of the ten best games of the last decade) I fired up New Vegas and learned instantly (and heart breakingly) that I’m kind of over it. I wouldn’t have been if they improved in any way upon the original but this game is miles behind the last one! The sun soaked world you play in is promising at first but ultimately very bland and unrewarding. It’s big, sure, but so big and so vast and so disjointed that it’s endlessly open ended immensity ends up hurting the experience. All that beingsaid, the game still could have had a shot of making my twenty best list above. Why didn’t it? Because it’s fucking broken. As in it does not work in some of the most basic of ways. As in I encountered so many game breaking glitches that to even call it a game is a bit unfair at times. My gun keeps shooting, my character falls into a non existent pit, other characters get stuck on nothing, items go flying, books open themselves (maybe they’re haunted), characters refuse to talk, my character randomly will drop dead and after putting up with all that my save file got corrupted. FUCK! I put about 20 hours into Vegas and gave up. They I played more Demon’s Souls. I will beat it one day to be sure but that day is not today.
3. Dead Rising 2–What happened is the game’s goddamn timer ruins any chance of fun you might have otherwise had (and there’s a lot of fun to be had) in this fantastically flawed open world mall/stadium Zombie action game. You can make just about anything, do just about anything, and kill just about any zombie that ever lived, oh how fun… BUT you also have to keep checking the clock and if you dare to get distracted by, you know, all the fun you’re having then you then have to run like an idiot across the map because some arbitrary timer insists you have to give your stupid daughter her stupid anti-zombie medsat the exact time indicated. If you don’t: fuck you, game over. Not level over or check point over but GAME over. The entire game ends. If you’re two seconds late: fuck you, game over. If you arrive on time your game STILL may end because the clock of death is iffy and imprecise at best. Where’s the fun in that? WHERE?! I don’t think I’ve ever played a game that was pretty much totally ruined by something unnecessary and avoidable. They should have called it Clock: The Game.
4. God of War 3–Same old God of War. That was good enough to make GOW2 a late gen PS2 classic but not enough this time around. I’ve grown so tired of Kratos’s“Wah, wah, wahhhhhhargh” histrionics. So sick of his ALWAYS ANGRY ALL THE TIME fits and daddy issues. Dude, get over it! His petulantly hyperbolic rage towards the heavens is sooo2004. His one-note to date, pure cock rage, is now laughable despite the fact that it once came from a very emotional place that the player could practically feel through the rumble of their controller. I’m being a bit harsh though. This is not even close to being a “bad” game. It’s above average, definitely falling in the B/8.0 range. The graphics are perhaps the best on the PS3 (meaning: best anywhere) and the memorable moments never stop coming at you. Still, I have to wonder if there’s a future in this series. If there is it would probably have to be without Kratos because the character is creatively tapped out. Unless… he’s the bad guy in a new adventure. That would be great because I would love to rip his grimacing head of in a final boss battle, putting an end to his stupid, stupid misery.
5. Call of Duty Modern Warfare:Black Ops–Oh look another COD game. Thank$ Activision, I’m sure you took your time to make this the best game possible. Best selling game of the year, you say? Of course it is! This is the Madden of first person shooters. I’m officially sick of this series. So why am I still playing it?
6. Transformers: War for Cybertron–Bought it, beat it, played it on-line and, in the end, I can respect the game for being the first fully realized Transformers console game ever–it’s Halo: Reach with robots. Still found it annoying. Didn’t like the controls (argh, meelee) and while the graphics are impressive, they start to get old.
7. Darksiders–Average game steals from all better games around (God of War, Zelda, Portal) and… it’s still an average game. The game has it’s fans but I just couldn’t get into it. And enough with squatty character designs. The horizontally pressed, chubby sausage finger Gears of War character designs has got to go.
8. Resonance of Fate–”What happened?” is that this effin game is hard as balls! I love this game… erm… I should say I love the idea of it. I got a good dozen hours into this quirky steam punk JRPG gem before giving up completely and I HATE giving up on games. It’s disgustingly hard and unforgiving. It punishes you because it can. You have to beat it on the impossibly hard normal mode to open us an easier mode. Really?! I love the turn based arena battle mechanics (more than FFXIII decent set-up even) but, god damn, this game kicked my ass and not in a fun and challenging Demon’s Souls kind of way. Rather, in a frustrating way that is hard for the sake of being hard. Such a shame.
9. Sin and Punishment 2–A very good on-rails shooter. Almost made the above list except this one boss keeps kicking my ass so I gave up and now I’m bitter about it. Fail–me.
10. Prince of Persia: Forgotten Sands–The magic is gone A competent POP experience but not a memorable one. Better than the reboot a few years ago but that’s not saying much. Where does POP go from here? I’m afraid it’s dead and no amount of time traveling back to the past will revive it. So sad. The memories will love on though. A great modern series.
11. Bioshock 2–I don’t dislike the game at all. Well, unless we’re talking about the shallow and fun slurping multiplayer modes which are a great argument for single player games not needing to shoehorn in MP. Parts of Bioshock 2 are even better than the ever so slightly overrated first game. The last half offers non stop jaw dropping moments. The feel you get as Rapture falls apart is exhilarating and offers some of the best gameplay moments of the entire series. Not to mention the final twist in which you play, uh, from a different character’s perspective. So, yeah, the game has its moments. I list it here however because I remembered at the very last minute that this game even came out in 2010. Despite some improvements the game ultimately fails to make the kind of lasting impression that the first had. This time next year the bulk of Bioshock 2 may disappear from my mind entirely. Especially after Bioshock: Infinite comes out. Oh boy, can’t wait.
12. Goldeneye–Sigh, you can remake Goldeneyefor the Nintendo 64 all you want but it will never be the real thing. And, sorry, the Wii is not a system for first person shooters.

Estimated Money Spent:
$1,600+ :) ….   :|   … :(
Estimated Hours Spent Playing: I’m afraid to count.
Best Moments:
(there be spoilerisms below)

Mass Effect 2:A character you love (for me it was Mordin but it could be any character) dies during the final mission. Happened before in video games but never quite like this. If a character dies YOU are the reason and the feeling of loss is palpable. You are now faced with the choice of re-playing the game or dealing with the tragic consequences in the next Mass Effect. The flip side of that is letting Jacob die every time, haha sucka! Very few games give you such a feelingof ownership, making it a moment to remember and a moment that is, in a word, personal. Truly revolutionary gameplay.
Bayonetta: The orgasmic final act in which you kill God. Followed by flying his sorry ass into the sun. Followed by a pole dance. This game really understands what men want from video games.
Castlevania: Lord of Shadows–Not only are we surprised to see that Gabriel, the hero, turns evil after killing Satan himself but that his sidekick has been the lord of death from all the other games. As if that wasn’t crazy enough, after the credits roll the game reveals its ultimate ending. The game jumps from Medieval times to our future and, guess what, good old Gabe somehow turned into Dracula during those years. The same one you’ve been fighting in all the old Castlevania games! Holy shit! That moment just turned a flawed game into a good one.
Heavy Rain: The killer’s identity. A better twist than any movie could come up with this year.
Bioshock 2: I’ll just say it’s a moment that involves a Little Sister. Well, not a moment but the moment.
Deadly Premonition: Yorke’s fate. As “twists” go it manages to be touching, absurd and actually earned from a narrative standpoint. The fact that the game ended with genuine closure is impressive beyond comprehenson. Runner up moment: playing as the Raincoat Killer.
Metal Gear: Peace Walker: Managing Your army and base. There’s some RPG in my cup of Metal Gear and I like it.
Just Cause 2: The first time you realize you can do anything in this game. Cruising around has never been so fun in a sandbox game.
Mass Effect 2: Giant Frankenstine Robot Human Monster of Deaaaaath. As end boss battles go, this was one of the year’s best.
God Of War 3: Chronos Boss Battle. The boss is the entire level! That’s been done before but never with such pleasing rage. Here, you get feel like the world’s most angry and violent insect.
Mass Effect 2: Suicide Mission, under the force field. More Pitch Darkian than Chronicles of Riddick.
Mass Effect 2: Another ME2 moment. In this one Mordin sings Gilbert and Sullivan. First Gilbert and Sullivan shout out in video games? As sci-fiG&S tributes go, this even tops Data from Star Trek singing their tunes. Can’t wait for the Criteron of Topsy-Turvy! I’m getting sidetracked.
Vanquish: The first time you powerslide across the map down a long corridor and manage to hit cover… while shooting, and killing in slow motion. Once this game gets going the momentum doesn’t stop till the end credits. Of course, the end credits involving shooting missiles at the people who made the game.
Halo: Reach: The final stand. The “survive” moment where death is inevitable is quite moving if not totally original (it was done in Final Fantasy: Crysis Core with Zach).
Dead Rising 2: Taking a boxing glove, tape kitchen knives to them. Put them on. Light them on fire. Punch Zombies. 
Demon’s Souls: Shut up, I am still playing it. I will beat it one day (hopefully before the sequel Dark Souls comes out).
Super Scribblenauts: Making my own level. I made a homoerotic version of Lord of the Rings. My favorite touch was adding a rainbow colored Hobbit skeleton in Gandalf’s twisted layer.
Resonance of Fate: Discovering the battle system for the first time. Worst moment: getting defeated by a few short hours later. This game hates me.
NBA Jam: Unlockable characters! Clinton dunking on Palin. Feels. So. good.
The Rest of the Best:
Favorite Writing in a Video Game: Mass Effect 2. Followed by Heavy Rain.
Most Interesting Graphics:Just Cause 2, Bayonetta and Alan Wake.
Favorite Music: Heavy Rain, Scott Pilgrim and Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood.
Funniest Game: Deadly Premonition. Nothing comes close.
Most Innovative: Heavy Rain. Followed by Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker
Best Multiplayer: Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood
Best Retro Game:Pac-Man. Followed by Scott Pilgrim
Hardest f@$#%*! Game: Resonance of f@$#%*ing Fate.
Most Underrated: Deadly Premonition. Followed by Dark Void and Alien vs. Predator.
Favorite Character/Voice Work (Male):Agent Yorke and his imaginary friend Zach (voiced by Jeff Kramer) in Deadly Premonition. Tied with Yorke is Mordin Solus (voiced by Michael Beattie) in Mass Effect 2. Runner Up: Eathan Mars and Scott Shelby (Sam Douglass) from Heavy Rain and of course the great Sir Patrick “facepalm” Stewart in Castlevania: Lord of Shadows– “YOU ARE THE ONE GABRIEL, YOOOOOUUUU ARRRRRRREEEEEEE THHHHHHEEEE ONNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!”
Favorite Character/Voice Work (Female) : Commander Shepard (voiced by Jennifer Hale) from Mass Effect 2. Love her!

Welcome to my third annual Oscar Reaction section in which I apply a rigorous intellectual vigor and social analysis of this year’s nominees… WITH SMILIES! Smilies and memes are the new discourse after all.

Best Picture…

“Black Swan” :smile: :oops:
“The Fighter” :grin:
“Inception” :roll: :neutral:
“The Kids Are All Right” :wink:
“The King’s Speech” :grin:
“127 Hours” :cry:
“The Social Network”   :neutral:
“Toy Story 3″ :neutral:
“True Grit” :smile:
“Winter’s Bone” :shock:   :smile:

Achievement in directing…

“Black Swan” (Fox Searchlight), Darren Aronofsky :smile:
“The Fighter” (Paramount), David O. Russell :grin: :razz:
“The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company), Tom Hooper
“The Social Network” (Sony Pictures Releasing), David Fincher :???:
“True Grit” (Paramount), Joel Coen and Ethan Coen :shock: :neutral: :neutral:

Performance by an actor in a leading role…

Javier Bardem in “Biutiful” (Roadside Attractions) :shock: :mad: :?:   :roll:
Jeff Bridges in “True Grit” (Paramount) :shock:  :grin: :razz:
Jesse Eisenberg in “The Social Network” (Sony Pictures Releasing) :smile: :cool:
Colin Firth in “The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company) :grin:
James Franco in “127 Hours” (Fox Searchlight) :smile:

Performance by an actress in a leading role…

Annette Bening in “The Kids Are All Right” (Focus Features) :smile:
Nicole Kidman in “Rabbit Hole” (Lionsgate) :shock: :neutral: :???:
Jennifer Lawrence in “Winter’s Bone” (Roadside Attractions) :smile:
Natalie Portman in “Black Swan” (Fox Searchlight) :smile:
Michelle Williams in “Blue Valentine” (The Weinstein Company) :grin:

Performance by an actor in a supporting role…

Christian Bale in “The Fighter” (Paramount) :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :lol:    :mrgreen:
John Hawkes in “Winter’s Bone” (Roadside Attractions) :shock:
Jeremy Renner in “The Town” (Warner Bros.) :neutral:
Mark Ruffalo in “The Kids Are All Right” (Focus Features) :grin: :grin: :razz:
Geoffrey Rush in “The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company) :smile:

Performance by an actress in a supporting role…

Amy Adams in “The Fighter” (Paramount) :smile:
Helena Bonham Carter in “The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company) :smile:
Melissa Leo in “The Fighter” (Paramount) :smile:
Hailee Steinfeld in “True Grit”(Paramount) :smile: :wink:
Jacki Weaver in “Animal Kingdom” (Sony Pictures Classics) :smile: :razz:

Adapted screenplay…

“127 Hours” (Fox Searchlight), Screenplay by Danny Boyle & Simon Beaufoy :shock: :?: :?: :mad:
“The Social Network” (Sony Pictures Releasing), Screenplay by Aaron Sorkin
“Toy Story 3? (Walt Disney), Screenplay by Michael Arndt, Story by John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton and Lee Unkrich
“True Grit” (Paramount), Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen :razz:
“Winter’s Bone” (Roadside Attractions), Adapted for the screen by Debra Granik & Anne Rosellini :smile:

Original screenplay…

“Another Year” (Sony Pictures Classics), Written by Mike Leigh :shock:  :grin: :grin:
“The Fighter” (Paramount), Screenplay by Scott Silver and Paul Tamasy & Eric Johnson, Story by Keith Dorrington & Paul Tamasy & Eric Johnson
“Inception” (Warner Bros.), Written by Christopher Nolan :roll: :mad:
“The Kids Are All Right” (Focus Features), Written by Lisa Cholodenko & Stuart Blumberg :neutral:
“The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company), Screenplay by David Seidler :smile:

Best animated feature film of the year…

“How to Train Your Dragon” (Paramount), Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois :grin:
“The Illusionist” (Sony Pictures Classics), Sylvain Chomet :smile:
“Toy Story 3? (Walt Disney), Lee Unkrich

Achievement in art direction…

“Alice in Wonderland” (Walt Disney), Production Design: Robert Stromberg, Set Decoration: Karen O’Hara :mad:
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1? (Warner Bros.), Production Design: Stuart Craig, Set Decoration: Stephenie McMillan :smile:
“Inception” (Warner Bros.), Production Design: Guy Hendrix Dyas, Set Decoration: Larry Dias and Doug Mowat :smile:
“The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company), Production Design: Eve Stewart, Set Decoration: Judy Farr
“True Grit” (Paramount), Production Design: Jess Gonchor, Set Decoration: Nancy Haigh

Achievement in cinematography…

“Black Swan” (Fox Searchlight), Matthew Libatique :smile:
“Inception” (Warner Bros.), Wally Pfister :grin: :smile:
“The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company), Danny Cohen
“The Social Network” (Sony Pictures Releasing), Jeff Cronenweth :smile:
“True Grit” (Paramount), Roger Deakins

Achievement in costume design…

“Alice in Wonderland” (Walt Disney), Colleen Atwood :mad: :mad:
“I Am Love” (Magnolia Pictures), Antonella Cannarozzi :grin: :grin:
“The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company), Jenny Beavan 
“The Tempest” (Miramax), Sandy Powell
“True Grit” (Paramount), Mary Zophres

Best documentary feature…

“Exit through the Gift Shop” (Producers Distribution Agency), A Paranoid Pictures Production, Banksy and Jaimie D’Cruz :smile: :razz:
“Gasland”, A Gasland Production, Josh Fox and Trish Adlesic
“Inside Job” (Sony Pictures Classics), A Representational Pictures Production, Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs
“Restrepo” (National Geographic Entertainment), An Outpost Films Production, Tim Hetherington and Sebastian Junger :neutral:
“Waste Land” (Arthouse Films), An Almega Projects Production, Lucy Walker and Angus Aynsley

Best documentary short subject…

“Killing in the Name”, A Moxie Firecracker Films Production, Nominees to be determined
“Poster Girl”, A Portrayal Films Production, Nominees to be determined
“Strangers No More”, A Simon & Goodman Picture Company Production, Karen Goodman and Kirk Simon
“Sun Come Up”, A Sun Come Up Production, Jennifer Redfearn and Tim Metzger
“The Warriors of Qiugang”, A Thomas Lennon Films Production, Ruby Yang and Thomas Lennon

Achievement in film editing…

“Black Swan” (Fox Searchlight), Andrew Weisblum :smile:
“The Fighter” (Paramount), Pamela Martin
“The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company), Tariq Anwar
“127 Hours” (Fox Searchlight), Jon Harris :smile: :smile:
“The Social Network” (Sony Pictures Releasing), Angus Wall and Kirk Baxter :smile:

Best foreign language film of the year…

“Biutiful” (Roadside Attractions), A Menage Atroz, Mod Producciones and Ikiru Films Production, Mexico
“Dogtooth” (Kino International), A Boo Production, Greece :grin: :shock:  :grin:
“In a Better World” (Sony Pictures Classics), A Zentropa Production, Denmark
“Incendies” (Sony Pictures Classics), A Micro-Scope Production, Canada
“Outside the Law (Hors-la-loi)” (Cohen Media Group), A Tassili Films Production, Algeria

Achievement in makeup…

“Barney’s Version” (Sony Pictures Classics), Adrien Morot :shock: :neutral:
“The Way Back” (Newmarket Films in association with Wrekin Hill Entertainment and Image Entertainment), Edouard F. Henriques, Gregory Funk and Yolanda Toussieng :shock:
“The Wolfman” (Universal), Rick Baker and Dave Elsey

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)…

“How to Train Your Dragon” (Paramount), John Powell :shock:
“Inception” (Warner Bros.), Hans Zimmer :smile:
“The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company), Alexandre Desplat :smile:
“127 Hours” (Fox Searchlight), A.R. Rahman :?: :mad:
“The Social Network” (Sony Pictures Releasing), Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross :grin: :smile:   :grin:  :mrgreen:
  :grin:

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)…

“Coming Home” from “Country Strong” (Sony Pictures Releasing (Screen Gems)), Music and Lyric by Tom Douglas, Troy Verges and Hillary Lindsey :roll:
“I See the Light” from “Tangled” (Walt Disney), Music by Alan Menken, Lyric by Glenn Slater :roll:
“If I Rise” from “127 Hours” (Fox Searchlight), Music by A.R. Rahman, Lyric by Dido and Rollo Armstrong :roll:
“We Belong Together” from “Toy Story 3? (Walt Disney), Music and Lyric by Randy Newman :roll:

Best animated short film…

“Day & Night” (Walt Disney), A Pixar Animation Studios Production, Teddy Newton
“The Gruffalo”, A Magic Light Pictures Production, Jakob Schuh and Max Lang
“Let’s Pollute”, A Geefwee Boedoe Production, Geefwee Boedoe
“The Lost Thing”, (Nick Batzias for Madman Entertainment), A Passion Pictures Australia Production, Shaun Tan and Andrew Ruhemann
“Madagascar, carnet de voyage (Madagascar, a Journey Diary)”, A Sacrebleu Production, Bastien Dubois

Best live action short film…

“The Confession” (National Film and Television School), A National Film and Television School Production, Tanel Toom
“The Crush” (Network Ireland Television), A Purdy Pictures Production, Michael Creagh
“God of Love”, A Luke Matheny Production, Luke Matheny
“Na Wewe” (Premium Films), A CUT! Production, Ivan Goldschmidt
“Wish 143?, A Swing and Shift Films/Union Pictures Production, Ian Barnes and Samantha Waite

Achievement in sound editing…

“Inception” (Warner Bros.), Richard King :smile:
“Toy Story 3? (Walt Disney), Tom Myers and Michael Silvers
“Tron: Legacy” (Walt Disney), Gwendolyn Yates Whittle and Addison Teague :neutral:
“True Grit” (Paramount), Skip Lievsay and Craig Berkey :neutral:
“Unstoppable” (20th Century Fox), Mark P. Stoeckinger :neutral:

Achievement in sound mixing…

“Inception” (Warner Bros.), Lora Hirschberg, Gary A. Rizzo and Ed Novick :smile:
“The King’s Speech” (The Weinstein Company), Paul Hamblin, Martin Jensen and John Midgley
“Salt” (Sony Pictures Releasing), Jeffrey J. Haboush, Greg P. Russell, Scott Millan and William Sarokin :mad:
“The Social Network” (Sony Pictures Releasing), Ren Klyce, David Parker, Michael Semanick and Mark Weingarten
“True Grit” (Paramount), Skip Lievsay, Craig Berkey, Greg Orloff and Peter F. Kurland

Achievement in visual effects…

“Alice in Wonderland” (Walt Disney), Ken Ralston, David Schaub, Carey Villegas and Sean Phillips :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1? (Warner Bros.), Tim Burke, John Richardson, Christian Manz and Nicolas Aithadi
“Hereafter” (Warner Bros.), Michael Owens, Bryan Grill, Stephan Trojanski and Joe Farrell
“Inception” (Warner Bros.), Paul Franklin, Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley and Peter Bebb :shock: :shock:
“Iron Man 2? (Paramount and Marvel Entertainment, Distributed by Paramount), Janek Sirrs, Ben Snow, Ged Wright and Daniel Sudick  :smile:

 

:grin: Noms  

  1. Christian Bale in The Fighter. We all knew it would happen but it still feels great that Bale finally got nominated and is the frontrunner for the win.
  2. Trent Reznor for Social Network. I honestly didn’t think the Oscars were progressive enough to know good music when they heard it.
  3. Dogtooth nominated for Foreign Film. Greece’s first nom in 30 years!
  4. Michelle Williams in Blue Valentine
  5. All the Winter’s Bone love. Totally didn’t expect it to get a Best Pic nom.
  6. After being snubbed so long ago for You Can Count On Me (his first role) Mark Ruffalo finally gets a nomination.
  7. John Hawkes!
  8. David O. Fucking Russell, congrats! You were snubbed for directing Three Kings so this one’s earned. Good movie to boot.  

:evil: Snubs

  • Christopher Nolan for directing Inception–an average movie in my book but one with exceptionally noteworthy direction. The Oscars hate Nolan for some reason. And of all the things to nominated him for… they go with writing? Really?! The film has a clear visual mastery going for it but, come on, the story and plotting sucked and only exist to serve the visuals. It’s shocking and sad that a director of Nolan’s caliber, who is doing very interesting things with big Hollywood budgets is getting passed over. Nobody makes big movies like Nolan does and the Oscars love big movies (Avatar). So what gives? His Dark Knight is the reason the Best Picture nominees got increased to 10 and his snub here should really be looked at.  
  • Ryan Gosling–Michelle Williams, also very good, got nominated. But Gosling was amazing. I don’t get it.
  • Ghost Writer–in almost all categories. Writing, directing, editing, cinematography, and acting (Brosnan and Williams esp).
  • Scott Pilgrim–No sound or editing nominations? BS. Unstoppable got nominated but not Pilgrim!
  • Shutter Island–It had a tiny bit of momentum but nobody was buying. Sad considering it’s Scorsese’s best movie in years.
  • Leslie Manville for her performance in Another Year. So sad she missed out. She’s in good company though because the Oscars also snubbed Sally Hawkings in Leigh’s Happy Go Lucky. Something about wacky Leigh characters the Oscars don’t like.
  • How does Annette Bening get nominated in Kids are All Right but not Julianne Moore? Benning is very good in that movie. Moore is every bit as good.
  • Okay, Tron: Legacy sucked but to not nominated in the Best Visual Effects category is insane.
  • Inception again. I just realized that it missed out on an editing nomination. The only two noms it should have gotten is directing and, yeah, editing. That is missed both is insane and they might as well have not nominated for Best Picture in that case (which would have been fine by me).  
  • I would say Waiting for Superman in the doc category except it’s not a snub if it shouldn’t have been nominated in the first place. Surprising, yes, snub no.
  • Andrew Garfield had a good shot of getting nominated but the real best supporting actor in Social Network was Armie Hammer. Not was Armie Hammer snubbed but his twin, Armie Hammer, was also snubbed.
  • Ditto Mila Kunis in Black Swan. She had great odds with a SAG and Globe nom but I felt her performance was lacking and unmemorable. Barbara Hershey was not and she should have been nominated in the supporting category. Hence the snub.  

Wut?

  • A Clint Eastwood movie gets nominated for visual effects. Hum. Haven’t seen the film. And don’t want to but, hey, it’s Clint so I got to.
  • Alice in Wonderland gets three nominations. That’s three nominations too many
  • 127 Hours gets a Screenplay nod. Really?
  • Inception also gets a Screenplay nomination. Makes no sense. That would be like nominating Avatar for its writing last year (which they didn’t).
  • Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled that the GREAT Mike Leigh got his fifth writing nomination for his amazing work on Another Year. But, as with 127 Hours and Inception, this is not a writerly film. Plus, isn’t a lot of dialogue improv?  
  • True Grit is an okay movie. I liked it. And I like the Coen Brothers but this is not close to one of their better directed films. I don’t know how they slipped in this year over Boyle, Affleck, Nolan or some of the other buzzed about directors. I guess they’ll get nominated for making just about anything at this point. Time for a Ladykillers 2!  

Overall, a solid list of nominees. Nothing too awful here. Some overrated films (Social Network, True Grit, etc.) but overrated films that are far from bad. I just this was a very weak year for movies in general so if this is the best Hollywood could do then I guess it could have been worse.  

1. The Walking Dead vol 11, 12 and 13
by Robert Kirkman
Forget the sometimes brilliant/sometimes awful AMC TV series, the OG Walking Dead comic is the best zombie saga of its day. Perhaps that’s because it’s not even technically a zombie series anymore–it’s a human series that just happens to feature the occasional zombie. After the intense and still talked about prison show-down more than a year ago, the series has slowed down these last few volumes but I can honestly say that’s not a bad thing. The last three volumes in particular have focused more on character moments and drama rather than the high intensity action this series has been known for in earlier volumes. But the shift makes sense. The hand-less protagonist Rick has never been more tragic or morally uncertain. When he takes on a band of cannibals in volume 11, Rick is so fierce you actually end up feeling bad for the man-eaters at the end. Rick is like the Walter White (“Breaking Bad”) of the comic book world–a figure that has become as scary as he is/was sympathetic. Whatever the series has become in its long tenure, the one thing it hasn’t is tired. Fresh ideas and new angles pop up in every issue with more regularity that most new comic series. Sure, Kirkman’s dialogue can sometimes feel a bit forced and unnatural but in terms of the overall (and hopefully never ending) narrative arc, all of Kirkman’s duck are in a row. Things are going down and while we can be sure that it’s not going to pretty we can also be sure that it will be awesome!
2. Invincible Iron Man vol. 3 and 4
by Matt Fraction
Iron Man is easily the best ongoing superhero series. Matt Fraction is not only able to get into the mind of Tony Stark (no easy task–especially after the movie) but he makes a nest there and chips away at his psyche. The arc that finds Stark loosing his mind as the equally unbalanced patriot/villain Norman Osborn (and the entire government) is after him is a classic chapter in the character’s mythology that is able to reexamine Tony Stark’s identity with trilling narrative precision. It goes back to backs while also offering a new side to Tony–a side that isn’t drunk or cocky for once. Each new story in Fraction’s amazing series reveals not so much who Tony Star is (we know already that) but what motivates him, makes him tick, makes him soar and ultimately what makes him fall.
3. Chew vol. 1 and 2
by John Layman
Warning: reading this will cost you 10.95 because you will have to buy it once you read what it’s about. Chew is the best new comic series of the year.
4. Buffy Season vol. 6 and 7
by Joss Whedon and co.
I don’t know what I’m going to do once the Buffy Season 8 comic series ends later this year. Actually I might know and hopefully it involves starting up Season 9 as soon as possible. The movie version has us hardcore Buffy fans in the dumps but it’s nice knowing the real Buffy will continue to live on in comic form. Buffy is the series that got me into comics and it’s going to be the series to keep me into them for years to come. It’s almost as good in print as it is on TV. That’s saying something.
5. The Dark Tower: The Fall of Gilliad and The Battle of Jericho Hill
by Stephen King, Peter David, Robin Furth, and Richard Isanove
Dark Tower fans finally got to find out how exactly Gilliad fell to the dark forces of “The Good Man” John Farson. And it’s not quite how I expected it to turn out. This graphic novel spin-off to the seven volume Tower novels has become very dependable. One of the deepest and most richly rewarding series around. Worthy to be included in Stephen King’s marvelous Dark Tower cannon. Seeing the events that were (maddeningly) briefly touched upon  in the books fleshed out with gorgeous art and great writing proved to be a thrilling experience.
6. The Boys vol. 4 and 5
by Garth Ennis
Despite a slight dip in quality, The Boys maintains its edge and humor in its 2010 offerings. While crass and ridiculous, it’s still one of the most audacious and original graphic novels around. I love it. And now that the good (but really evil) superhero celebrities have set their sights on the fringe supe-bashing protagonist the series is gearing up for an amazing(lybloody) show-down. It’s going to get very ugly. Add to that a fantastic art style and brilliantly twisted dialogue and you have a dodgy winner.
7. Fantastic Four vol. 1
by Jonathan Hickman
Marvel pulls a Green Lantern and makes this comic good again. Really good! Great sci-fi storytelling.
8. Marvel Zombies Return and Marvel Zombies 5
by Fred Van Lente
Welcome back Z-boys! Contrary to popular opinion I loved me some Marvel Zombies vol 3 and 4 but, lets face it, it wasn’t the original Robert Kirkman (he of Walking Dead fame) Zombies I grew attached to. Though I have to say that headless zombie Deadpool (Headpool) is an invaluable addition to the increasingly decaying rooster. That swamp monster dude was also pretty cool. Returns, um, returns or reboots the series and while it doesn’t capture the humor and out-of-left-field style of the first two books it’s still a success in my opinion. The emphasis on zombie Spider-Man and his changing morals grew on me (leave it to Peter Parker to make even a zombie version of himself emo). And Wolverine (who comes in both zombie and regular strength) also has a big part to play. I would love to see the gang return for movie volumes of brain eating fun (bring back Ash!) but may have to settle for comics like Marvel Zombies 5 which is fine by me. Either way, I would kill for a movie or video game based on this franchise.
9. Scott Pilgrim vol. 6
by Bryan O’Malley
And the landmark Pilgrim series goes out with a whimper. Fitting given the character we’re dealing with. The series declined in its last two issues due to novelty of the subject wearing out, repetition of plots and the whole Scott/Ramona back-and-fourth losing a bit of its edge and luster (stay together or break up… but stick with it, okay guys). Ironic, then, that the final volume is called “Scott Pilgrim’s Finest Hour.” It’s not but it was still nice to see this amazing series end on a somewhat tolerable note. I have an idea for a great spin-off too: Ramona runs off and finds a new boyfriend so now Scott must become an evil ex! How cool would that be? Shut up, I think it’s a great idea.
10 The Complete Balled of Halo Jones by Alan Moore
Moore dials up the sci-fi to 11 on his flamboyent series that has finally been collected and reprinted. This space adventure retains Moore’s usual/unusual sense of humor as well as sense of action rooted in some kind of purpose (be it political or self reflexive). Jones makes for not only a great Moore character but an important sci-fi female protagonist. It’s a bit of a slog at times (with cluttered art and text and some confusing story lines) but the bubbly sci-fi comic strip universe he creates is well worth visiting. It’s funny how a black and white comic can feel so colorful. The worst thing about this comic is that it ended before its time.
10.1 Nemesis vol. 1
by Mark Millar
While I liked Mark Millar’s Kick Ass book, I loved his Nemesis. This is a book about an evil superhero going after the government. A subversive commentary on terrorism and celebrity.
also great…
American Vampire by Steven King and co.
After a lot of lame ass vampire stuff infecting the cultural ethos (Twilight, Bite Me, the horrible third season of Tru Blood) it’s good to see this kind of return to form. A Vampire story that is scary, sexy and stylish. That’s all I need. As a bonus this book has an underwarter vampire. Cool! Looking forward to vol 2.
Y: The Last Man Deluxe Edition by Brian K. Vaughn vol. 2-4
Because you can never buy Y enough times and never read it enough.
Blackest Night by Geoff Jones
DC’s high profile answer to Marvel Zombies. DC does another big cross over event that’s actually halfway good which is more than I can say about Marvel’s big cross over Siege. Blackest Night offers more proof that The Green Lantern is the only good DC character around.
Batwoman: Elegy by Greg Rucka
Batwoman as a Jewish lesbian? Yes, and she just out-cooled Batman. How odd is it that two of the best Batman books of recent times/all time are about Joker and Batwoman? To Batman’s credit I hear Grant Morrison’s recent Batman and Robin are very good.
Worst:
Seige–Marvel effectively kills the joy of its events with this flashy dud. What started off promising (Dark Avengers is one of my favorite books to date) turned into a joyless exercise in putting the mostly boring heroes back in charge. TWO CAPT. AMERICAs!? Fuck off, Marvel that’s stupid!
Twilight–more proof that Twilight readers are stupid and will buy anything regardless of cost or content.
Best Non Fiction Book:
Home by Bill Bryson:
Instead of looking outward at the history of the entire universe Bryson looks inward with his fantastic new book. It’s a history of what the title suggest but of course since this is Bryson, it’s about so much more. I haven’t quite finished it yet but I’m savoring every colorful word.
Runner Up: The Grand Design by Steven Hawking.
God may not be dead but he’s certainly unnecessary. Shockingly, science doesn’t need a magical wizard in the sky (or, uh, space) to make sense and Hawking should be commended for this book.
Best Fiction Book:
Lucy by Laurence Gonzales
Monkey hybrid book. It’s like Spice (but better) meets the third (and worst) Planet of the Apes movie. A great read that tackles evolution, racism, and what it means to be human. Very profound without being pretentious.
Runner Up: The Half Made World by Felix Gilman
Five words: Steampunk and “demon-possessed guns.” One more word: Western.
Best Book Not From This Year: Anathem by Neal Stephenson, 2008 (yeah, I really need to read more non-Sci-fi books)
Post, post, and post apocalyptic monks from the future (and another planet) fight off aliens from another-another planet. Gotta love Stephenson. This is his most ambitious novel to date. I love how detailed this book is. Playing with language and the conventions of a genre he helped create Stevenson creates a fully realized world. One where predictable cyberpunk clichés are all but a distant  memory. This book was a real discovery for me.
Note:  Content taken from my other WordPress blog.

2010′s Best Songs

for the top 50 songs listed click on song titles to see/hear on Youtube…

  1. Impossible Soul - Sufjan Stevens
    The best song of the year. The best song in years. To even it a song seems to limit it. There’s nothing else in the same league as Sufjan Steven’s “Impossible Soul” in terms of innovation, experimentation, catchiness, or emotional resonance. This 25-minute electronic-ish opus defies classification. The chorus, if I can even call it that, doesn’t kick in until the 14 minute point, at which point Stevens feel-good hipster motivational warm fuzzies reache maximum capacity with lines like “It’s a long life/only one last chance/couldn’t get much better/do you wanna dance?” I like “Impossible Soul” because it’s not a song made for pop radio, satellite radio or iTunes. When the song reaches its peek Stevens finally shows mercy and takes all the effusive momentum away, guiding the song into a quirky slow-motion coda that warps the previously upbeat tone into something warped at first, then sad then something in between. The song ends with the line “boy we made such a mess together.” The song too is as mess but it also couldn’t get much better.
  2. Stylo - Gorillaz
    Smooth synth, Bobby Womack jamming about love, Damon Albarn whispering “juice.” This is the best 80s song never to be released in the 80s. I listened to “Stylo” more than any other song this year.
  3. Doe DeerCrystal Castles
    CC maintains a high energy and never lets up. The only lyrics are “deathray deathray.” Coolest thing ever?
  4. Eat Raw Meat = Blood Drool - Editors
    “Chewing with an open mouth/raw meat/your blood drool attracts the flies.” Sick! Could this be the world most kick ass vegetarian song? I don’t know. What it is for sure is the best Interpol song that Interpol never came up with (though they do have a song ranked 97 on this list). Also, the vid for the song song is cool. Check it out above.
  5. Got NuffinSpoon
  6. Colouring of PigeonsThe Knife
    Great example of The Knife’s creativity. With a unusually large amount of Opera and drums this sounds nothing like past Knife music. Sounds nothing like anything for that matter. Oh, except for maybe that scene in “Fifth Element” where the blue alien Opera lady busted out space rhymes all over Bruce Willis’ ass.
  7. Runaway - Kanye West
    Kanye’s best song to date. Gotta love the two minutes of autotuned guitar.
  8. We Want WarThese New Puritans
    A true original.
  9. Bloodbuzz OhioThe National
    More blissful paranoid from The National. Imagine being married to this guy?
  10. Because The Night - Bruce Springsteen
    As good as any ‘new’ song. Or old song for that matter.
  11. I Want The World To StopBelle & Sebastian
    So do I!
  12. Here Sometimes - Blonde Redhead
    Very low key Blond Redhead song. Not flashy. Solid though. Brings back good memories.
  13. TightropeJanelle Monáe
    Even white people like this song!
  14. Let’s Get LostBeck And Bat For Lashes
  15. No Words/No ThoughtsSwans
  16. Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains) – Arcade Fire
    2010 was the year for great 80s music throwbacks. Here, Arcade Fire channel (and surpass) ABBA.
  17. Escape Velocity - The Chemical Brothers
    It’s songs like this that make me wish I took drugs. I’m totally going to rewatch “2001: A Space Odyssey” and play this song when Dave goes into hyperspace!
  18. Crash YearsThe New Pornographers
    New Porn’s most recent album may not be very good but this song is classic Porn. Nice to hear Neko back too. Also, the video for this song is great.
  19. In Motion - Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross
  20. Fuck YouCee Lo Green
    2009′s Lily Allen’s “Fuck You’ now has some stiff competition. HA!
  21. Dance Yrslf Clean -LCD Soundsystem
    A prime example of a well constructed LCD song. The slow build is fantastic. Don’t know why this song wasn’t the most popular on the album.
  22. Good Intentions Paving CompanyJoanna Newsom
    Newsom’s best song to date. Probably because it’s an actual song with actual instruments other than harp and an elf singing voice.
  23. Superfast Jellyfish (feat. Gruff Rhys & De La Soul) – Gorillaz
    Super Furry Animals’ Gruff Rhys + De La Soul + Damon Albarn singing about crafty squid breakfast foods. Most random collaboration of the year.
  24. Lovesick - Lindstrøm and Christabelle
  25. Rill Rill - Sleigh Bells
    “Wonder what your boyfriend thinks about your braces/ what about them/ I’m all about them.” Oh, Gawd I hate that I like this song. Sixteen six six six like the pentagon!
  26. Walk In The Park - Beach House
  27. England - The National
  28. (3-way tie) Year of Silence and Baptism and Celestia - Crystal Castles
    Give Crystal Castles credit for being able to make an English language song sound way more scary than a German language one. Celestia is not scary, it’s just pretty.
  29. A Drowning - How to Destroy Angels
  30. Apply Glasser
  31. Dancing On My Own –  Robyn
    Poor Robyn. She comes across as the loneliest dance pop singer ever. I’d totally bang her if she wasn’t such a stalker.
  32. This Too Shall PassOK Go
    Great, great, video.
  33. Desire Lines Deerhunter
    I would be a much bigger Dearhunter fan if they made more songs like this.
  34. When I’m With YouBest Coast
    Hanging out at the beach. Spending time with Ronald McDonald. Taking him to In-N-Out (irony!). Even a Snacks cameo.
  35. Odessa Caribou
    Since when was Caribou any good?! I guess since this song.
  36. Aidy’s Girl’s a Computer -Darkstar
    Had me hooked at the title.
  37. Month Of May Arcade Fire
  38. Empathy - Crystal Castles
    Lots of Crystal Castles songs this year. Instead of having this be the Best Songs of the Year I should call it “The Best Crystal Castles Songs Featuring Some Other Stuff.”
  39. TRON Legacy (End Titles) - Daft Punk
    For those complaining that the new Daft Punk album isn’t Daft Punky enough… shut up and listen to this song.
  40. The Height of Summer - The Knife
  41. AM/FM!!!
    I listened more to the song “AM/FM” than actual AM and FM radio.
  42. One Life Stand - Hot Chip
    Captures what I loved so much about “Ready For The Floor.”
  43. Drunk Girls - LCD Soundsystem
    With pressing, socially piercing lyrics like “Drunk girls are boringly wild” and “Drunk girls wait an hour to pee” this is a story that needs to be told. Bravo, James. Also be sure to check out the video because it’ll make you feel dirty (like, gangbanged by clowns dirty) though it’s hard to pinpoint exactly why that is so.
  44. Sorrow - The National
    Where are the razor blades?
  45. Bohemian Forest - Pantha Du Prince
  46. Jail La La - Dum Dum Girls
  47. The Inevitable Relapse - Filter
    The dorkiest song so far. Most years I have a lot more songs/bands like this on my list. 2010 was just too cool for school.
  48. USA Boys - HEALTH
  49. You Knowjj
  50. Threshold - Sex Bob-omb (from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World)
    WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB AND WE’RE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  51. VesuviusSufjan Stevens
    Makes the list for rhyming Vesuvius with Sufjan. Also because it’s a great song.
  52. Fainting SpellsCrystal Castles
  53. Not Getting ThereBlonde Redhead
  54. Is Love Forever?Spoon
    Quick Answer: No. No it’s not.
  55. Rhinestone EyesGorillaz
  56. Planetary (GO!)My Chemical Romance
    Ugh… I hate to say it but this is a good song.
  57. White SkyVampire Weekend
  58. Not In LoveCrystal Castles
    More Crystal Castles. Sorry. I can’t help it.
  59. White Knuckles - OK Go
  60. On Melancholy HillGorillaz
  61. Bottled in CorkTed Leo and the Pharmacists
  62. Attack MusicThese New Puritans
  63. NorwayBeach House
  64. Difficult - Uffie
    Uffie makes a good song! Without the help of Justice!
  65. Round and RoundAriel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti
    Pitchfork picked this as best song of the year. Don’t know bout that. It is the best song on the overrated album though.
  66. Stick To My SidePantha Du Prince
  67. Written in ReverseSpoon
  68. JimSwans
    Jim. Jim. JIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMM.
  69. WarpaintWarpaint
  70. MiseryMaroon 5
    I’m sorry.
  71. Cry When You Get OlderRobyn
  72. Too many MiraclesBadly Drawn Boy
  73. Bring NightSia
  74. Crown on the GroundSleigh Bells
  75. NightZola Jesus
    What a cool name! As it happens that’s also the nickname for my penis.
  76. I Can ChangeLCD Soundsystem
  77. Real LoveDelorean
  78. Garbage TruckSex Bob-omb
  79. IntimateCrystal Castles
  80. AliveGoldfrapp
    The 80s are alive. Again.
  81. Jamie, My Intentions Are Bass!!!
  82. WTF?OK Go
    OMG
  83. Plastic BeachGorillaz
    Why would anybody bring a Casio to a plastic beach?)
  84. Let’s Go SurfingThe Drums
  85. And the World Laughs with You (ft. Thom Yorke) - Flying Lotus
  86. Intriguing PossibilitiesTrent Reznor and Atticus Ross
  87. Afraid of EveryoneThe National
  88. You ll Be Taken Care OfDavid Byrne and Fatboy Slim
  89. ZebraBeach House
  90. UndertowWarpaint
  91. Drug BoyFilter
    More rehab music from Filter. Well, at least Patrick is not singing about Jesus.
  92. HolidayVampire Weekend
  93. Recognizer - Daft Punk Tron Legacy (Soundtrack)
  94. World Of LinesCoheed and Cambria
  95. Howlin’ For YouThe Black Keys
    When did this band become so trendy? I miss the Rubber Factory days.
  96. Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na) – My Chemical Romance 
    As “na na na” songs go, way less annoying than “Hey Jude!”
  97. BarricadeInterpol
  98. You Must Be Out Of Your MindThe Magnectic Fields
  99. Love-Hate-Sex-PainGodsmack
    Guilty pleasure. Hey, just be happy I didn’t put on Godsmack’s “Crying Like a Bitch” instead.
  100. Come On Sister - Belle & Sebastian



 

Most appearances on this list:

Crystal Castles: 8 (good god, that’s pratcially the whole album! maybe this should have been my #1 album of the year)
Gorillaz: 5
The National: 4
LCD Soundsystem: 3
OK Go: 3 (yikes, sorry)
Spoon: 3

and finally…

Worst Songs of the Year:


  1. Aaron LewisCountry Boy: “And I like my jeans and my old T-shirts and a couple extra pounds will never hurt cuz a country boy is all I’ll ever beeeeeeee.” More lyrics. “You never catch me outta my house without my 9 or 45,” and of course “I’m proud to be American and strong in my beliefs. And I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again and I’ll never need my Government to hold my hand.” The world’s shittyest Tea Party anthem performed by the world’s shittyest Tool cover act. I think Aaron Lewis (of Stained) is trying to be Kid Rock. Nobody told him however that the only band worse than Stained is Kid Rock.
  2. Train – Hey Soul Sister: the #1 song of the year on iTunes?! Really?! Come on people, we can do better than that! On second though…
  3. Susan BoyleHallelujah: You can suck on your own all you want sista but when you bring Leonard Cohen into your whole sham of a career then I getz pissed. If you can listen to this song without passing out then, well, you probably own a Susan Boyle album.
  4. Any Glee Song recorded, played, listened to or watched in 2010. See above or listen to their version of Beck’s “Loser.”
  5. Twin SisterAll Around and Away We Go: That voice! AWW, Shuuuuuutttttttt uuuuuuuupppppppp! Twin Sister sounds like an annoying(er) girl version of that old pedofile from Family Guy. Seriousley, listen it’s really bad.
  6. Ke$haWe R Who We R: Washed up in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…
  7. Lady GagaTelephone: Don’t pick up.
  8. Katy PerryCaliforna Girls: Boobs.
  9. Taio CruzDynamite
  10. WeezerMy Sex: Weezer went from being nerdy-cool to nerdy-stupid. In the radio version the ever edgy sell-out Rivers Cuomo sings “where’s my socks?” instead. Nuff said. He should have just gone for it and sang “where’s my balls?” or how about “where’s my talent?”